Monday, January 31st 2011
Open Post: Hosted By A Dachshund Taking A Bath
FINALLY FUCKING FINALLY! My life line to EVERYTHING (aka the damn Internet) has finally been welded back together by the dude from Verizon and the thing that christened my new connection was this video of a dachshund puppy taking a bath in slow motion. This is a metaphor for my day, because I've basically been doggy paddling in shallow bath tub water in slow motion for the past 20 hours and now I'm back!
By the way, my dog can't take his eyes off this video. This might be classy softcore porn for dogs.
via TDW
• 
Non-stop hiking and two kids?
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
bitchette- I was a 12 a year ago, into an oft-muffin toppy 10 probably about 8 months ago. Started the Shred right around Christmas, have probably done a third of the workouts I should have and dropped 10 more pounds and two sizes.
The only reason I'm in the juniors department is that MOM JEANS are too baggy in the butt and thigh even if they fit in the waist.
**************************************
Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
wait, isn't jordan knight gay too?
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:41pm.
*kicks everyone complaining about being thin*
-----
Additional side-eye contributed on my part...
Really, though, congratulations to you (ungrateful) bitches for shaping up!
Stoney, I also feel you on the male dog thing. I love dogs, and have a dog, but in most cases I'm going to avoid buying a male one. All that humping on stuff is just gross, and, yeah, the "lipstick." Nasty.
The cone does look interesting, yet still sort of scary. I think it would be less scary if the tip were more rounded.
I watched that POS movie, "Valentine's Day" this morning. Dear God. How was that not straight to video??? I didn't think I could hate Taylor Swift more and man was I wrong.
so I just found out that my childhood crush, Jonathan Knight from New Kids on The Block, is gay. I was not surprised since I always tended to crush on closeted gay men.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I mean, we should ALL look like Richard Simmons at least one time in our lives-MK
That's awesome Uvy!! what sort of time frame was that over??
and whyyyyyy are you shopping the jrs section?
-------------------------
'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I'm excited. I hovered at the weight that was easy for me to get back down to after all the kids and really thought anything further was impossible. Now I can't imagine being 20 pounds heavier than I am now. Just have to keep at the toning part since I gained and lost almost 300 pounds in the last 8 years. The tummy continues to be an issue.
**************************************
Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Submitted by charlie m on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:39pm.
i've got a boston terrier coming next week. never had a dog, only cats. i'm really, really nervous about the puppy pooping on my carpets and shit like that, but i realize that will probably happen until it is trained. i am SOOOOO excited about having it and walking it, etc.
**************************************************
best wishes to you. I grew up with German Sheps and Rotties, and now have friendlier types. It'll only take a few days to house train that pup. My beagle x never did a mess from day 1 when I brought him home. He was 3 months old and had already been re-homed 3 times before I adopted him.
Bostons will love daily exercise as well, so my best to you. But unlike cats, they'll repay your love and devotion ten fold.
*************************************************
Actually the Gestapo picked her up.
Submitted by Jana on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:38pm.
Get some dogs M.E to keep you in shape, ever since I've had my two boys it's 7 days a week of non stop hiking at least twice a day for over an hour each time...i even let go of my gym membership.
I don't know how you find the time. You are like a superwoman.
____________________________________________
"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
RUHH ROHH, you guys are talking about diets and working out, Im leaving this thread!
185$ for that cone, it better keep me coming all day long and all friggin nite, I love the positions you can do with it though, looks really interesting.
Uvy - Yep. that gif is me trying to stay balanced on the board when doing the Wii downhill skiing. EPIC FAIL! I gave up.
And WOOOOOOOT!!! On the weight loss mama!
So on Saturday both boys had their meet and greets with their Little League coaches....Fuck we're going to be busy!
And HOT DAMN! Equipment is expensive!! Last year we didn't have to buy anything more than a mit and uniform, this year they needed new mits, uniforms, batting helmets, bat bag, cleates...shit what else?
Fucked me outta a couple hundred dollars! YIKES!
I'll stop complaining because at least they enjoy it and it keeps them active OUTSIDE!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:22pm.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:17pm.
*******************************************
My next purchase is going to be the cone ------->
I want that little pink U shaped on that keeps popping up.
____________________________________________
"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Thanks for the positive vibes. I just despise being told "how is it that a smart girl like you can't find a job?" Ugh! It messes with my self-esteem! Anyhow, it will all work out. It has to.
As far as working out, has anyone tried the Jackie Warner workouts? Any good recommendations on Yoga DVDs?
Not to be gross, but wouldn't the cone get messy?
*signs name on list of unemployed*
Have been since Sept 2009, and stumbled onto dlisted shortly thereafter. I'm an admitted "lurker", but if it weren't for Michael K and all you funny folks, I do believe I'd have lost it. So thanks everybody for keeping me sane!
When I saw it I was like, "M.E.'s a DEWD!!!!!"
I've been slacking on the exercise, too. But there's a HUGE difference in my shape, it's insane. And I went from a size 12, just bought 9's in the juniors department and they're all gapping so badly I need to go back for 7's. Not too shabby for a FAT BREEDER, huh? ;)
**************************************
Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Jana- do you work? i'd love to do that with my dog, but even on my days off i don't have two separate hours+ to dedicate to walking
i'm lucky (and the dog is lucky) if we manage 1.5mi/day on the weekdays
ETA- esp since there was a shooting 10 ft away from my normal walking route a month ago, so i had to cut my walks down to around the apt complex a few times. hopefully soon i'll be allowed back on my regular neighborhood walk
-------------------------
'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I have a mini dachshund just like that...well...she's a bit older now...but I remember when she was a velvety puppy like that. *sighs*
After reading the posts, I'm glad I only watched it and didn't listen. lol.
^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
*kicks everyone complaining about being thin*
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Jana - I have a dog, two kids and work 7 days a week.
My normal routine is working out for 45 min every morning.
Just been lazy last couple weeks.
I had a couple doxies growing up and one was an obese epileptic and the other was constantly yapping...so not really a fan.
OMGAWD THAT PUPPEH IS SO CUTE.
____________________________________________
"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Was the Verizon dude hot?
I started back to the gym (like more than 3x a week is my new goal) this morning...05:00. Everything was fine til some dood came in, started running on the treadmill next to me; he smelled like rotten veggies, hot beer and garlic. Cut my work out from an hr to 40 mins. Totally made me gag multiple times then leave. Tomorrows another day!
________________________________________________
"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:24pm.
Anyone catch Big Love last night?
``````````````````````````````````
Yes! Poor Lois has dementia. :-( I just about died when they serenaded the guy from 24. Bill is such a manipulative tard.
I got so excited at the preview because it looks like Mean Rhonda is coming back. LOVE HER.
Uvy - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I almost did that!! That GD down hill skiing!
Ohh that was awesome, love the Doxies. Soo cute especially with that song.
Hope everyone had a good weekend, whatcha all talkin bout?
i've got a boston terrier coming next week. never had a dog, only cats. i'm really, really nervous about the puppy pooping on my carpets and shit like that, but i realize that will probably happen until it is trained. i am SOOOOO excited about having it and walking it, etc.
settle down charlie m. did your daddy hate your momma? maybe she was a filthy whore like oksana...Submitted by lovethejared
Submitted by Sookie on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:31pm.
HUGS back atcha, Sook! I get props on my resume, as I'm sure a lot of us who are underemployed her on the D do, but when tons of people with great creds are applying for one position, it's fucking rough.
Get some dogs M.E to keep you in shape, ever since I've had my two boys it's 7 days a week of non stop hiking at least twice a day for over an hour each time...i even let go of my gym membership.
*************************************************
Actually the Gestapo picked her up.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:30
sugar free- I've lost weight and shaped up doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. 20 minute workout even my skinnyfat, scrawny limbed ass can do. I'm teetering on having to go down another pants size which slightly chaps my ass because I just bought 4 pairs of jeans and they're all gapping in the waist now.
************************************
I HATE that. All my pants/skirts are a 6 and I lost a shitload of weight (stress-related) and I became a 2.
SUCKS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
i dont have speakers at work. what song is in the video?
M.E.- Less Wii for you:
http://senorgif.memebase.com/2011/01/27/funny-gifs-wii-fit-fail/
**************************************
Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
damn,i gotta exercise too, right? shit.
*calculating cost of new wardrobe*
Uvy - Imma start doing that one every day again. I slacked on working out the last couple weeks and feel it.
I need to trim and tone.
Well ther goes my complain about work..
Good luck and hugs to all of you looking for work :-/
Go for it, sugar free! I just ordered a crosstrainer today 'cause I need more exercise and it's the best way for me. Not looking forward to putting it together. ;)
Eatingz a pb&j sammich
-------------------
Life's a party you can only party on the weekend.
"Drink that Xenutini like you don't give a fuck, John Travolta!" -MK
@ M.E. - Yeah, agreed. I haven't owned a rabbit style, so I was curious, but you do make a good point about simplicity. Have to deal with do-hickies sticking out and all that could just be annoying.
@Zinnia - they have a chart on ideas on you can you use it. I can totally see why it would be weird with it being pointy and all.
welcome back MK. I'm loving this video and song, but not its entire lyrics.
*************************************************
Actually the Gestapo picked her up.
am I the only one really creeped out by this video? It is like they're going to make love
Submitted by zinnia on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:28pm.
@
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 2:22pm.
My next purchase is going to be the cone ------->
---
AWESOME. I was reading that supposedly Kate Middleton owns one. It does look intriguing."
---
Seriously how does it work? It looks painful! I am trying to figure it out but NO I just can't it looks like I will hurt myself one way or the other? What am I supposed to do?? Sit on it??? I'm scared!
************************************************
IT's an exterior stimulator. You wrap your legs around it....
Lemme go find the instructional video on YouTube.
Awwww, but my puppy is cuter. AND he went to the doggie park for the third time in a row where he didn't get in trouble for humping whosmygoodboy??
-------------------------
'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Good vibes to all my trix. That can't find work. I was unemployed from June to November...couldn't even get a job at a gas station. I'm working almost 4o hrs a week w Kelly Temp svcs. I'm BEYOND GREATFUL to have this job but of course the pay still isn't enough. Good vibes and big ups to you all. *hugs*
________________________________________________
"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Anyone see Fucking_Classy? I'm DYING to know what her GF thought of my story!
Part 2 on deck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
i so relate on the job front. yeah, it's great to have one but i hate it here completely. i still lament over the job i turned down in '08 before the bottom fell out and all hell broke loose.
*deep sigh*
sugar free- I've lost weight and shaped up doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. 20 minute workout even my skinnyfat, scrawny limbed ass can do. I'm teetering on having to go down another pants size which slightly chaps my ass because I just bought 4 pairs of jeans and they're all gapping in the waist now.
**************************************
Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Bitchette - yes. Both business credit card accounts. But funny thing is both credit cards are here in the office. I have them. I have no idea how she was able to call BOTH of them and change the mailing address and request another card.
They required ME to provide the CC account numbers, how did she get those?
And I paid for a background check on this cunt and it shows she works for a school district and is in her 40's.
There is a claim against her now and we are not responsible for any charges put against the accounts since she stole them in December (12/2/10 to be exact).
Checking on the corporate Visa card now.
I want a weiner dog, but I would never get a male one. All the ones I've met just hump stuff all day and then there's the scary pink part, so no.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."