The Hell Is This "Family Shield" Crap?
Maybe it's because the only places I go that sells magazines are porn shops and delis where the owner doesn't seem to have a problem displaying covers full of bare vagina, but I've never seen this "Family Shield" foolery before. You learn something new! But yeah, Twitter user jennhudd took this picture at a Harps grocery store in Mountain Home, Arkansas of a Family Shield protecting the innocent eyes of children from Elton John, his partner and their new baby. The Family Shield is a work of real fuckery, but it did make me notice David Furnish's glorious receding widow's peak for the first time. So it did give me that.
Jennhudd later Tweeted that the "THINK OF THE CHILDREN" wall of grey plastic has since been taken down. A spokeswhore for Harps gave an interview to GLAAD (via JMG) confirming that the shield blocked the gayness after several dumb shits complained:
I spoke with Harps Corporate Executive Assistant Marty Yarborough, who told me that every Harps store is equipped with these shields and that they get put up whenever customers complain about the content of a magazine cover. She said the word from the store about this particular cover was that “several” customers had complained, so the shield went up. She also confirmed that these shields are utilized on a store-by-store basis, so the magazine would not have been covered up at any of the other Harps locations, unless customers complained there as well. She also told me that the usage of the shield on this particular cover is “in no way our opinion on this issue.” She quickly added, ”we do not have an opinion on this issue.”
The hos who took time out of their day to complain about a cover of UsWeekly need to fucking eat a Family Shield. It's not that serious. If one of their kids asks them why two grown men are holding a baby, they just need to explain it to them simply. Sometimes when a man falls in love with another man, they get married, jack off into a plastic cup, blah, blah, blah, blah....BABY! It's that simple. The kid will probably say "okay" and then scream at their parents to buy them a damn Snickers.
And does anybody know where I can get one of these "Family Shields"? I just got a Life & Style with Bachelor Brad on the cover in the mail and I need to shield it from my own eyes.
(Thanks to all who sent this in)
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What's sad is the fact that if you asked a bunch of kids if they were offended by the cover they would have no problem. It's the adults who need to learn from the innocence of children.
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I Love You More
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HAHA Jack's hood is a bunch of PRUDES!!!
*runs*
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Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK
I object to the next cover of this crap-rag when it has Kim Kashardian on its cover, because that shit totally offends me, so get it covered up with that piece of gray plastic, you haters.
(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
Our local Publix has covers over magazines with anything sexual on the covers, not just covers that relate to being gay. As an avid dListed reader I don't care what's in the magazines because I get it all here; but as a mom I appreciate not having to explain what sex (gay or straight) is while trying to pay for my groceries...
I will design and send humanitarian shields to protect all humans from family shield nonsense fuckery.
This is why I ran screaming away from Alabama as soon as I was old enough and never ever looked back.
This was commonplace when I was living in Montgomery, AL.
In fact the Piggly Wiggly wouldn't even stock these 'trash' weeklies.
Just be glad the Arkansasans didn't make a bonfire, magazine burnin'.
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 11:58pm.
Hello!!!
*serves Cappy big ol' glass of prime bottle of Chianti in honor of Mr. M's trip to Italy*
Mr. Mercury,
Please document your succulent vacay in a diary or video/pics or something.
The saddest part about life is not fulling/living it.
Glad you are grasping life by the balls!
Have FUN!
*waves to La Chaylo and everyone*
Okay, separately, comment on the following:
"....I spoke with Harps Corporate Executive Assistant Marty Yarborough, who told me that every Harps store is equipped with these shields and that they get put up whenever customers complain about the content of a magazine cover...."
Really?? Customers (projecting their unhappiness and misery) "complaining" are the cause of this mess?? Take a fking camcorder into their homes. Let's show the world their intact, loving home *husband checks into hotel with mistress; wife sexting ex*. Let's, you dumb fking censor shield (LOL) people. This "property contract and religious control" ideology of "marriage" needs to be censored. Love is love. Don't hate on it. The knowing ones will defend love. That is all.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 11:31pm.
Mr. M!!!! I had to tell you I got the Handmaid's Tale yesterday and finished it today. THANK YOU for the recommendation - I just passed it on to a friend. It scared the shit out of me, since I could see the parallels of Gilead and what's going on now - as exhibited by this thread. It made me think the US could turn into a hybrid Oceania from 1984 and Gilead. Great read, though!
Congrats on the Italy trip!! I hope you run into some lovely Italian men while on your journey, maybe even bring one back for me ;-)
♥ and HUGS!!
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 11:34pm.
Take many pictures!! Again, much love and be safe and we will be thinking of you.
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Will do...on both subjects. I see my sitter in the driveway. Ciao, bella. Back in eight days! Keep the faith, sista!
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 11:29pm.
Tiger is a poet, yes?
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YUP, Tiger is a poet. So are you.
If you can reach out to Eiles or Queenie, Breaky, Cakey or Jack (only them; only got 50 peeps on my FB - and all I know personally), we are fb'd. If not, we'll somehow get connected; not through here though.
Take many pictures!! Again, much love and be safe and we will be thinking of you.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Cappy...Yep...I'm on FB. Gonna hook up with you, OK? You're a bright light in a dim world to me.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Cappy, me too. Hopped on because the maps of Rome are making my eyes cross...and I'm waiting for my housesitter to appear so I can show her how to NOT set off the alarms and have the cops show up. Tiger is a poet, yes?
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 11:25pm.
*waves wildly at the miracle called Cappy!!!*
Come help me pack...I haz pinot for you and I leave in 48 hours.!!!
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{{{{hugs Mercury and hangs onto leg}}}} Do not leave meeeee!!!!! argh!!! Are you on FB? fb me. Did I ask that before?
Mercury, please fly safe, be safe abroad. I ♥ you, friend.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Mercury!! Again! Like minds! I just hopped onto the D; scanned for the earth-shattering post cause it is a blizzard-end-o-times going on here in NJ, and I write back to Tig and post and see you did the damn same! LOL.
Aaaahhhh *TOASTS the core intel open-minded realists of DL*
Much love, core DLers, much love all. Shots all around!!
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
*waves wildly at the miracle called Cappy!!!*
Come help me pack...I haz pinot for you and I leave in 48 hours.!!!
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 7:27pm.
How I'm gonna splain to mah youngin's about queers and babies, huh? *swats stray youngin' with filthy flip flop*. Them queers havin' babies ain't God's plan...*yells at crying infant with wet diaper to 'shut it' else he get somethin' to cry about, lifts dingy bra strap hanging out of dingy wife beater*...I'm tryin' to raise my family up right...by God's plan. *gets cell phone call from two trailers down...some guy named Gary likin' my big butt and has some beer*...Listen, I gotta go...*leaves balogna and bread on table for youngin's...*
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FKING BRILLIANT. This. How about those 'family shield' mf'ers put a shield on ignorance and incest and religious cuts and pedo priest. How bout it?! Fucking decrepit hypocrites.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 7:27pm.
How I'm gonna splain to mah youngin's about queers and babies, huh? *swats stray youngin' with filthy flip flop*. Them queers havin' babies ain't God's plan...*yells at crying infant with wet diaper to 'shut it' else he get somethin' to cry about, lifts dingy bra strap hanging out of dingy wife beater*...I'm tryin' to raise my family up right...by God's plan. *gets cell phone call from two trailers down...some guy named Gary likin' my big butt and has some beer*...Listen, I gotta go...*leaves balogna and bread on table for youngin's...*
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BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Tiger, preach it sista, preach it loud. This has to be my favorite post of the month. I wish you lived next door to me!
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
We used to be in the trucking business and Ive been at truck stops in just about every state...
I can honestly say that the one with the most hookers by far was in Little Rock Arkansas-it was like the creature from the black lagoon- there were so many hookers and pimps creeping around.
As soon as you cross into Arkansas theres big signs -We are Pro life America right next a sign about the right to bear arms...Im sorry if your from there but it truly is a disgusting place.
Didnt they also pass some law that gay couples cant adopt?-these morons prefer that children stay in the state system all their lives instead of having 2 lovely gay daddys twirling around.
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 5:51pm.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 3:48pm.
*wonders if Jules has ever performed fellatio*
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Dumb bastard prolly thinks it's an opera.
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ROTFLMAO!!!!!
I bet opera singers can perform fellatio without gagging.
Do any jobs ever go over customer service anymore?
Forget the family sheild. Maybe have one aisle where there are no magazine and let all the upset idjits go there.
"That magazine cover upsets me! etc. blah blah"
"I'm sorry, sir/maam. Please feel free to avoid it by shopping in aisle 2." or "I'm sorry sir/maam." It's a regular magazine we carry and we haven't removed it before when people have been upset by it."
not
"that magazine upsets me."
"oh! i'll remove it right away!"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 3:41pm.
I'm not sure what taking it up the ass after having a baby has to do with anything but ok. I dated a chick with three kids that was an ass freak, jules.
DISCUSS.
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After three kids who could blame her?
♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0
Kids are curious. Kids want to ask questions. The more tolerance and understanding and the information you instil in them now will go with them for the rest of their lives. Sif kids aren't exposed to much worse... My 15 year old nephew has that "I Just Had Sex" song on his iPod... The digital age we are in now... It's not hard to access anything. There's prob a pop up ad on your children's learning website with Veronica half naked asking if they wanna chat cause they can win a iPad. I'm gay and I've had heterosexuality thrown in my face my whole life... but i've always known since I was 6-7 that I like the boys and not the girls.
I actually lived in Arkansas for a while in the late 80s. I know. I remember people being surprised that I had worked at a car dealership in Calfornia . . . where--SHOCK!--a black man was "allowed" to own a car dealership. They couldn't believe a black man owned a legitimate business! Backasswards!
So if some white supremacist shithead complains about a cover showing African Americans, are they going to cover that up too? Christ, what a fuckin' idiocracy.
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Once I've emotionally, physically and financially destroyed you, I'm more than willing to forgive and forget.
@ Joe
A Family Shield or in fact any type of shield should be used for images like Cisco's prolapsed coconuts or upskirts of Beth Ditto. Who cares about fussy old Elton John and his Romanian baby?
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ok, that comment made me actually laugh out loud. thank you.
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Dark-sided!
There is only one thing to say to these hateful Republicans: "F" You!!!!!
Yes people are still getting beat up just because they're gay. Education is the only answer as in some parts of the world still don't get it.
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 8:05pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 8:02pm.
THANK you.
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You welcome, my sweet.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 8:02pm.
THANK you.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
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Submitted by Lope on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 7:56pm.
Actually, most of the complainers were probably old people. Mountain Home, just like most small towns there, are made up mostly of retired people. And no, I don't have a problem with the Family Shield. It should be up to parents to talk to their kids about these issues on their own timetables. You can control what they watch and whether they are online or not, but you have to go to the grocery store. That doesn't mean there is necessarily wrong with them having a baby (though I think Elton is faaaaar too old), but parents should retain the rights to what their kids are exposed to and when, no matter what bloggers (who don't have children) may think about that.
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Yep, and when I'm a parent, I want to control when my child sees interracial adoption. I don't want him/her seeing that in the grocery store...Oh, and ditto for interracial marriage...Yeah. I don't want my precious child to be exposed to that. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just want to control what my child views in the grocery store line because that's so super fucking important. I don't want him/her getting any ideas that I haven't preapproved about certain people having rights....
*EYE ROLL*....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Actually, most of the complainers were probably old people. Mountain Home, just like most small towns there, are made up mostly of retired people. And no, I don't have a problem with the Family Shield. It should be up to parents to talk to their kids about these issues on their own timetables. You can control what they watch and whether they are online or not, but you have to go to the grocery store. That doesn't mean there is necessarily wrong with them having a baby (though I think Elton is faaaaar too old), but parents should retain the rights to what their kids are exposed to and when, no matter what bloggers (who don't have children) may think about that.
I wasn't insulted by the gay couple with a child thing... I'm insutled by Elton John's FACE.
BLEECH! *LOL*
Oh yeah, the Family Shield shit is stupid.
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"Giving Charlie a blow job would be like trying to eat a giant piece of dry brisket without any teeth. You're just gumming on that shit and waiting for it to go down. That takes real practice.- MK
Yeah because we all know homosexuality is a contagious disease... Dumbasses!
Just like my stupid relative who refuses that her 4 year old son plays with toys that have pink on them.
Submitted by MrPossumsMama on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 7:16pm.
Most of the complaints were undoubtedly registered by white trash baby mommas with no baby daddy in sight who live on Hi-C and Doritos, smoke no-name brand cigarettes and scream at their kids 24/7. After all they are the arbiters of family values.
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How I'm gonna splain to mah youngin's about queers and babies, huh? *swats stray youngin' with filthy flip flop*. Them queers havin' babies ain't God's plan...*yells at crying infant with wet diaper to 'shut it' else he get somethin' to cry about, lifts dingy bra strap hanging out of dingy wife beater*...I'm tryin' to raise my family up right...by God's plan. *gets cell phone call from two trailers down...some guy named Gary likin' my big butt and has some beer*...Listen, I gotta go...*leaves balogna and bread on table for youngin's...*
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Most of the complaints were undoubtedly registered by white trash baby mommas with no baby daddy in sight who live on Hi-C and Doritos, smoke no-name brand cigarettes and scream at their kids 24/7. After all they are the arbiters of family values.
To me I find Nicole Kidman's frozen white face and giant lips much more offensive than Elton,David,and their baby. They should put a shield up over People magazine this week.
this shit is vomit inducing and everything I hate about this Jekyll and Hyde nation pushing war games on kids but GOD FORBID we show 2 men in love.
I just want OUT..
DListed, the ONLY news you'll ever need.
okay, i'm glad to know i'm not the only one who's disturbed by brad womack's face! It reminds me of the actor marionette in 'team america-world police'- technically handsome but something's not right!
And that baby is damn lucky and the picture of the new family is downright wholesome- they can adopt me anytime!
The poison is in the dose-Paracelsus
I don't understand why two men and a baby on the cover is more horrendous than US Magazine's covers of the Kardashians, any of the Playmates, or Teen Moms.
Horf. I have a relative who used to live in Mt Home, AR and had a crush on a dude that worked at Harps. Irrelevant, yes, but that's my mental connection.
And I agree with Mike that eventually homosexual marriage will become federally legal. I don't know if it will be in the next 'few' years, but probably in the next decade+ or so.
I agree with tomahawk: old people of any sexual orientation should not be adopting children (or have them). Thats just irresponsible. And with old i mean in your 60s. I dont give a shit they are gay and think that as a result they are exempted from all the other criteria parents have to adhere to when adopting. Fuck that. Gay doesnt mean scared so gtfo Elton and your bride/husband, whatever.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 5:51pm.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 3:48pm.
*wonders if Jules has ever performed fellatio*
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Dumb bastard prolly thinks it's an opera.
CLASSIC! LMAO!
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 4:13pm.
And you guys seriously think that MARRIAGE between them will ever become legal? Yeah right. The majority of Americans are dumb and uneducated. Seriously. 75% of this country is populated with hicks and farmers and rednecks and white trash (or black trash or mexican trash - pick your trash). To rely on these dolts to bring about any kind of meaningful change or paradigm shift towards a socially responsible and morally praise worthy society is like asking a horse to compose a sonata.
Idiot nation.
While I totally agree with your assessment of the population of this nation, I really think it will be legal within the next few years. If it goes before The Supreme Court, it's a go. Just wait.
oh, funny discussion.
first; maybe any other gay couple who bought a kid would be great, but i doubt that these two elderly queens should be posterboys for gay"adoption". eltons face is worth a lifelong ban, i just can't stand him, never did.
second: i've never met anybody who hasn't had stretchmarks, neither women nor men - i really like to live in the perfect world some here obviously do.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 3:48pm.
*wonders if Jules has ever performed fellatio*
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Dumb bastard prolly thinks it's an opera.
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Familiarity breeds attempt- Jayne Mansfield
D-Listed:Cheap Thrills for Cheap People- Supreme Soviet
Haters gonna hate.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
"Family Shield" sounds like birth control of some kind.
I don't disagree with the concept of not having your 4-year-old at eye level with bazongas on the cover of FHM or whatever that dude magazine that you can buy in grocery stores, but this is just annoying. People complain about shit and then somebody reacts to the shit, and then it all becomes a big clusterfuck.