RuPaul's Drag Race: And Not A Tuck Was Stirring

My TV screen was once again covered with Vaseline, rogue wig hairs, sequins, pussy cunt glares and bronze powder dust thanks to the return of RuPaul's Drag Race (aka Xtina's favorite beauty tutorial)!!! Last night's episode was business as usual with a whole new set of queens except for season 2's Shangela who was pulled out of Ru's sweat shop wig factory (where all past contestants go to work off their room and board) to twerk her tuck and lip-synch like she's trying to give Alan Fawcett a boner he won't ever forget. And once again, Shangela found herself in the bottom bitch 2 with Madonna impersonator Venus D Lite. But Shangela's sloppy ass deserved it, because she whipped up a shitty Christmas ensemble made of a torn paper lantern and the metallic tree tinsel my abuelita would never let us buy because she was afraid it would electrocute her (Yeah, I don't even....).

In the clip above, Shangela and Venus lip-synch for their lives in a rumble tumble mess of a battle. Polyester hair flew across the room, boy nipples came popping out, taints slapped the floor and struts were delivered with an extra spark shooting off their bare heels. It was pretty much what Thanksgiving at the Knowles house looks like when Basement Baby goes against Beyonce's wishes and sits anywhere but the kids table.

Even though Venus D Lite charged at Shangela like Madge chasing after a Brazilian virgin boy, not one inch of dick came creeping out of their panties to call a time out. No tuck came undone! Just like at the Knowles house!

Venus D Lite was eventually sent home to pray before her Immaculate Conception candle that Madge doesn't upgrade the silicone cutlets in her cheeks. You see, Venus told the queens that she's had plastic surgery to look like Madge. That's kind of fucking funny if you think about it, because Madonna had plastic surgery to NOT look like Madonna.

And it goes without saying, but right now my favorites are Stacy Layne Matthews from Black Swamp, North Carolina:

I could watch that ho put that trampoline to the test forever.

And my other favorite is Raja who is best known as Sutan the make-up artist from America's Next Top Model.

Strangely enough, Raja sort of looks like Tyra Banks in that picture. Well, if Ty Ty's infintyhead traveled down south, scared her titties away and found a permanent new home on her chest.

Posted by: Michael K

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RuPaul's Drag Race

Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 6:10pm.

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 7:27pm.
I hope Shangela gets booted. Who gies herself a middle names that sounds like farts?
I did enjoy Mimi Imfurst's meltdown
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YES!! She's so unpolished, and I don't know how many hall-lay-LUs and PRAISE hims I can take from her

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 5:57pm.

I hope Shangela gets booted. Who gies herself a middle names that sounds like farts?
I did enjoy Mimi Imfurst's meltdown.

Submitted by letinstar on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 5:55am.

i love rupaul, but i'm not impressed with this season's queens...not one of them stands out...
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i lift things up and put them down...

Submitted by KANYESCAPS on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 10:42pm.

THANK YOU!! I was trying to figure out where I knew Raja from! He's my fav and based on last nite, that's not saying too much. NONE of them has the fierceness of seasons 1 or 2. That said, I too, am Team Raja.

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 10:02pm.

Wow, I love this shit. That's good cuz I hate everything else these days.

♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0

Submitted by Babygeorge on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 9:22pm.

I love LOVE Ru Paul and his show!

Especially because Ru Paul is so gentle with all the other ladies on it!
:)

Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 8:53pm.

You know, I cannot hate on this mess, I LOVE it!

I'm going to sound wierd and cheesy but I have such a soft spot in my heart for drag queens and trannies. Maybe it's the fact that they do their own thing and just don't give a rat's ass about other people's judgement of them.

Bring back Jujubee and Raven!

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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K

Submitted by BeatABitchDown on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 7:57pm.

Yeah but Shangela was totally better than Venus.

Derrr...

Submitted by Slutleena on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 5:28pm.

You can't really say that Venus was kicked off because he's white after putting his hands on Shangela several times during the lip-off. I think Shangelas outfit was worse but he did better in the lip-off in performance and also not getting physical with Venus.

Sincerely,
Alana Smithee

Submitted by LASux on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 3:25pm.

Ru is a Racist. Always picks the black queen no matter how f'd up they are.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 3:19pm.

I remember Season 1 and loving the speech the white girl gave "I have been here every week and never in the bottom two and week after week I was just passed along in to the next show and never received one word of praise and one hundred
percent criticism this entire show.". As I recall, girlfriend voluntered to finally go home. I bet that Queen had a lasting effect. Wish Charter still carried it. Some parts are online.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 2:25pm.

I like Raja, too! However, I'm not a fan of the fact of the fact they seem to have a formula for the type of contestants they want. Two reincarnations of Jessica Wild? The country BBW black girl like last year's Mystique? I like Stacy Layne, too, but homegirl's gotta step up her dress game and personality.

Anyway, I love, love, love Ru. But I guess no season can be like season 1 ever again - I miss crazy ass Tammie Brown, cutie Ongina, and my all-time favorite, Nina Flowers.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 2:08pm.

I suggest that John Travolta be a guest judge.

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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone

Submitted by howdareyou on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 2:00pm.

Venus looked more like Cyndi Lauper than Madonna to me.

I don't think I could watch more than 3 minutes of this shit. But RuPaul is hysterical; the way he can keep a straight and glamorous face after that shit is award-worthy.
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"In the early 1900's with old-timey methods, farmers was losin' 30% of their crops to insects and disease. Now with your modern herbicides, pesticides, insecticides, what have you, they're losin' 30%. Just facts and figgers." - The Accountant

Submitted by chana on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 1:53pm.

I'm rooting for Raja. She's experienced and doesn't take herself too seriously. They were really lip syncing for their lives. I would have liked to hear more about Venus; she's nutty.

Submitted by Die gelangweilt... on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 1:53pm.

Venus reminds me of Mana.

♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬

Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 1:45pm.

Love this show. Make my bitchiness seem like I'm saintly.

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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by kieranx on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 1:40pm.

And on the other spectrum of gay-themed posts... Here's Logo making money off our penchant for self hatred and stereotyping. Way to go, Logo. We sure don't have to worry about bullies bashing us when we have you delightful folks to keep stepinfetchin' it!

Fucking scumbags.

You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 1:38pm.

I was out playing BINGO last night, so I missed last night's premier! I love this show like it was my own sister.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by Slurpee on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 1:34pm.

This is some very weird shi-ite.

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 1:31pm.

oh Sultan! I need to dvr this show

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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK

"WE ATE POSICLES BITCH LAY OFF!!" Jacko

Submitted by Global-Traveler on Tue, 01/25/2011 - 1:29pm.

RuPaul had one song that was a quirky, funny, sort of right for the times hit. And she has hung around for twenty years or so based on that one thing.

She is like a case of entertainment herpes. It just seemed like such a good idea at the time, like a bit of hot street trash you decide to go home with at 3 a.m., but now you have a rash that pops up with alarming regularity.

Please Please Please just go away and live on the money that you've managed to bilk from us to this point. I'm BEGGING you.