The Oscar Nominations = BOOOOORING
Mo'Nique and her luscious furry stem legs announced the Oscar nominations this morning and even Sylvia Browne's bangs could've predicted this shit. Right after the nominations, everybody started farting about all the snubs. No Christopher Nolan. No Ryan Gosling. No Andrew Garfield. No Julianne Moore. No Justin Timberlake (FYI: Justin Timberlake is the only one punching the air about the Justin Timberlake snub). No Lea Michele (see Justin Timberlake). Blah blah blah. But who cares about those hos? They've already gotten their glory.
Where were the nominations for the most entertaining cinematic experience of the year: BIRDEMIC?! Where were the nominations for the most glamorous screen beauties of the year: the sisters from THE FIGHTER?! Where was the nomination for the most graceful unicorn breakdown of the year: Tilda Swinton in I Am Love? Where were the nominations for Angelina Jolie's busted down wigs in Salt? Those wigs should really get a "You Did Good With What You Were Given To Work With" lifetime achievement award. Boooo.
Here's the mostly predictable nominations. The full list is here if that's what you need to see this morning:
Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem, “Biutiful”
Jeff Bridges, “True Grit”
Jesse Eisenberg, “The Social Network”
Colin Firth, “The King's Speech”
James Franco, “127 Hours”
Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale, “The Fighter”
John Hawkes, “Winter's Bone”
Jeremy Renner, The Town”
Mark Ruffalo, “The Kids Are All Right”
Geoffrey Rush, “The King's Speech”
Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Bening, “The Kids Are All Right”
Nicole Kidman, “Rabbit Hole”
Jennifer Lawrence, “Winter's Bone”
Natalie Portman, “Black Swan”
Michelle Williams, “Blue Valentine”
Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams, “The Fighter”
Helena Bonham Carter, “The King's Speech”
Melissa Leo, “The Fighter”
Hailee Steinfeld, “True Grit”
Jacki Weaver, “Animal Kingdom”
Animated Feature Film
“How to Train Your Dragon”
“Toy Story 3”
Music (Original Song)
“Coming Home” from “Country Strong” Music and Lyric by Tom Douglas, Troy Verges and Hillary Lindsey
“I See the Light” from “Tangled” Music by Alan Menken Lyric by Glenn Slater
“If I Rise” from “127 Hours” Music by A.R. Rahman Lyric by Dido and Rollo Armstrong
“We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3" Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“The Kids Are All Right”
“The King's Speech”
“The Social Network”
“Toy Story 3”
Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
“127 Hours” by Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy
“The Social Network” by Aaron Sorkin
“Toy Story 3” by Michael Arndt; Story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich
“True Grit” by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“Winter's Bone” by Debra Granik & Anne Rosellini
Writing (Original Screenplay)
“Another Year” by Mike Leigh
“The Fighter” by Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson;
Story by Keith Dorrington & Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson
“Inception” by Christopher Nolan
“The Kids Are All Right” by Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart Blumberg
“The King's Speech” by David Seidler
Darren Aronofsky, "Black Swan"
David O. Russell, "The Fighter"
Tom Hooper, "The King's Speech"
David Fincher, "The Social Network"
Joel & Ethan Coen, "True Grit"
Best Foreign Film
In a Better World (Denmark)
Outside the Law (France)
We already know how this is going to play out. One for Colin Firth. One for Natalie Portman. One for Melissa Leo. One for Christian Bale. Let's just skip the 127-hour long ceremony and hand those awards out in the parking lot of the IHOP on Sunset. James Franco can go-go dance on the back of a pick-up truck while Fishsticks Paltrow sings a dance remix version of that "Coming Home" mess.
(Image via JJ)