And God's Response Was, "Just Stop!"
Jessica Simpson got on her knees Saturday night, held her BlackBerry tight and then delivered a prayer Tweet to God thanking him for giving her such a wonderful gift. No, bitch didn't thank God for giving her a billion dollar fashion line even though she dresses like a fat toddler from the early 80s. Jessica also didn't thank God for giving us the all-you-can-eat baked potato bar. This is what Jessica thanked God for:
Saying my prayers before bedtime...Thank you Lord for blessing me with a Man that has the perfect Tush...laying my hands upon it with peace :)
2:56 AM Jan 23rd via ÜberTwitter
And you thought you got a lot of useless shit in your inbox. This is the crap God has to deal with. Just when he marked Jessica's prayer as SPAM, he probably got a prayer from Papa Joe Simpson that read: "Thank you Lord for blessing me with a daughter with hands that lay upon her man's perfect tush as I peek into their bedroom in the middle of the night."