Errr, Your GOOP Is Showing
It's a good thing Gwyneth Paltrow had on her favorite pair of $400 "working mother" panties made from the cocoons of organic mulberry silkworms, or else we'd all get a clear shot of her apple maker. Then Fishsticks would have to write a detailed piece in GOOP on how she keeps it shiny and fit. You know, she'd go on about how she gives it a spoon of flax seed oil every morning, reads it French poetry before bedtime and does at least 3 hours of the Kegel portion of The Tracy Anderson Method every single day. Fishy's chocha will always be better than your chocha and we don't need to see the reasons why in writing. And speaking of...
The NYDN talked to Abbe Diaz, a former Manhattan maitre d' who is shopping a tell-all book around. Abbe has served Fishy at least 6 times in a 4-year period and pretty much calls her a snobby lady of refinement who won't even spit at you unless you've been moisturizing your skin with Creme de la Mer nightly. Fishy cares about her saliva too much to subject it to anything less.
Diaz says the actress has a "passive-aggressive comportment … meant to unnerve the plebeians.""If you're not worthy, it's like you're not there," the author tells us, although she adds, Paltrow "likes boys" - servers, that is - "as long as they're cute and sweet."
Yup. That's the bitch we all know and love to write long hateful blog posts about!
• 
I was very happy to Supra Shoes, I gave his work number down, and do not Supra Muska know whether this move that my dollar is counterfeit. My God, seeing all over the detectors, and he told me come back tomorrow! I had to come to the fire, and I swear I’ll get you for this,Supra Skytop 2 Shoes! Then I hit the 95,559 grumblets to go! I have a few,Womens Supra Vaider Shoes, yes, ah, so I let him count them again, he does not squint at me friconclusionly, and then lay down cash registers, Supra TK Societythe last two thousand four hundred whole, a point not less. He did not believe, add one, and finally did not even apologize and seek the Supra Footwear mode is very unpleasant.
I was gonna say even her underwear is boring but then I saw the remark about her cunt being boring. I have to disagree, in light of the mammoth vajajays I've been seeing lately like Miley's mile-wide one? This one ain't so bad..kinda petite ya know? Underwear is still boring as hell tho.
@little rascal:
You, my friend, are lucky!! I LOVE Florida, its my and hot Trooper hubby's favorite place ever. We got married on the beach in Florida, going back in a month for our first anniversary :D
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Well-behaved women rarely make history
Nice cunt,cunt.
Even her twat looks boring.
__________________________________
Please get the fuck out ---->
Country Strong sounds like a hillbilly deodorant.
"Country Strong" has almost broken even, before foreign, DVD, and other sales. She got her whatever-million salary plus minor points.
* * * * * *
"My dartur doid in the bearin of him, and left us in poor circumstances."
I REALLY, really fucking hated this bitch circa Brad Pitt. She was so unbelievably smug when she was dating him. She really had her head wedged firmly up her own skinny arse.
She doesn't seem to annoy me as much these days, not sure why. Although her trying to be british makes me laugh. She does have a superiority complex going on.
SKINNY FAT!!!
Also, my sugar daddy Mukesh Ambani only takes me out to dinner to restaurants paved with gold- on other days my "friend" the sultan of Brunei only fucks me in harems swathed in diamond encrusted silk. And when I'm out with my fiance Mark Zuckerburg, I only communicate with "the help" through facebook.
********************************************************
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 12/08/2010 - 10:29am.
My ovaries just exploded.
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults the
If only the vehicle would have still been moving.
I think the phrase "don't shit where you eat" fits nicely in this thread. Be an ass to someone who you trust with your food,toothbrush,household,child, computer etc and often times karma finds a way of finding you.
Submitted by shaishai on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 6:25pm.
This may sound harsh, but I wasn't born with a silver spoon. I've cleaned toilets, put up with people's shit and worked damn hard to pay the bills and do whatever it took to stay fed, housed and positive. It can be done, people.
****
For someone who proclaims themselves to be positive, you have a wretchedly bitter outlook on life and the people around you. Congratulations on making your own way and doing what you have to do. Servers are doing the exact same thing. Maybe that chip on your shoulder is where your empathy used to be.
**************************************
Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 9:31pm.
Hey, me too! I might have added a lil' somethin' somethin' to it. *hic*
The DMV brings Tigerlilly's license to her house, already Photoshopped and scented.
* * * * * *
"My dartur doid in the bearin of him, and left us in poor circumstances."
Submitted by DeeDee on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 9:24pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 9:22pm.
Silly. I'll have what you're drinkin' please
*******
Diet coke *burp*
************
L’homme avance, recule, mains tendues vers les seins marmoréens du tableau, à deux doigts de déclencher l’alarme.
Exodus
Joe Schmoe: Thank you. I like my wisdom!
Shai shai, u have obviously never waited tables. I'm a waitress on my break right now at work and it is not my choice to be a waitress. The economy forced me into this job. Before this I was making $27:50 an hour. I'm a student and pay my own bills. Not tipping if your service was even halfway decent is tacky and classless. If u don't wana tip, stay home and serve ur damn self.
------------------------------------------------
Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 9:22pm.
Silly. I'll have what you're drinkin' please.
Submitted by DeeDee on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:33pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:26pm.
Submitted by Andrei on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:19pm.
Joe touches my "beige" everyday and never gets hung up! OK, that doesn't make sense
**********
Haha! I just saw this. And yes, I bow before the beauty of your beige.
Ok, that doesn't make sense either. Whateva.
************
L’homme avance, recule, mains tendues vers les seins marmoréens du tableau, à deux doigts de déclencher l’alarme.
Exodus
this is the etiquette the way it was always taught to me by my parents. and that was a very long fucking ass time ago. it really doesn't matter how much money you have or how well to do you are. if you are in a pretty nice restaurant, the relationship between wait staff and patrons is usually very conservative and reserved. the waiters are expected to be very conservative and cordially and accommadate almost any request of the guest, and the guest should always give the waiter eyecontact and pleasant, undivided attention while the waiter is speaking. the patron is not required to engage any further pleasantries or say thank you when being served, but should ask please if they request anything. there are some really seasoned waiters out there in fine restaurants who actually can get insulted if these boundries are overstepped.
settle down charlie m. did your daddy hate your momma? maybe she was a filthy whore like oksana...Submitted by lovethejared
Submitted by Andrei on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 8:52pm.
Let's not say "Fuck you" to each other unless we mean it in a sexy way
*******
Co-sign on this; you're a very wise person.
************
L’homme avance, recule, mains tendues vers les seins marmoréens du tableau, à deux doigts de déclencher l’alarme.
Exodus
charlie m on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 8:32pm.
no FUCK YOU. Tiger is the hottest chick on this board or on the planet or in the universe. i know because she is my girlfriend.
_______________________________________________
I envy Charlie and Tiger's deep unconditional love. I hope to find that in this lifetime.
:)
@ Scary Monsters:
No, I think you're reading too much into it.
Your first paragraph was spot on and more eloquently stated than my initial rant.
Friend is not hard to wait on, I'm not ashamed of my status or trying to be anyone other than myself in front of my friend, but it was just an observation and I kind of threw in the kitchen sink with the other things like the victim mentality and the expectation to tip (yes, I am kind to waiters and tip at every meal with only one exception ever).
_____________________________
Submitted by scary monsters on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 8:38pm.
shaishai on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 6:25pm
So you're well known and really rich, and you go to dinner and the waitstaff either ignores you, complains about their life, or does not stop interrupting you to announce stupid shit they should be doing automatically. I know this comes as a surprise, but most people don't go out to eat just to shoot the breeze with the waitstaff.
*************************************************************************
I would have followed your comment easier and probably agreed with it if you said that people can be sycophantic or go overboard with well-known people, and that GP may adopt an aloof manner to head that off at the pass.
Where it went wrong for me is that you described so many sins (ignoring, complaining, interrupting to announce things) that it seems like a server would have to walk on eggshells around your friend. I get that complainers are bad, but the first option sounds like what your friend wants (quiet meal, unmolested), and the third sounds like a style that someone who's anxious to provide good service might adopt. Neither of those people sound like asshats who don't deserve a tip. So the scenario has kind of a "Princess and the Pea" sound to it, or Goldilocks or something.
We've all had wait staff who chatted too much, were overly familiar, never checked back on whether we'd like more drinks, etc.. I'm not sure it's your friend's billionaire status that's the problem. Is it possible you're hyperaware of his/her status, and so the actions of service people are more noticeable to you? If you don't feel far removed from them, based on your own background, you might be feeling some status anxiety, and a need to distinguish yourself from them.
It's like they're an embarrassing uncle who shows up in a NASCAR hat at your Yale graduation ceremony.
It's crazy how some celebrities will throw around money on a $100 'organic' chicken breast from their personal shoppers or trainers (i.e. it was bought from a nice Safeway or Whole Foods for 1/10th of the price) and yet they can't be bothered to aknowledge 'regular' people. I'm not saying this story about Gwyneth is true (but I lean toward yes)...the fishmonger, maitre'd, bathroom attendant, house cleaner have plenty of ways to get back at the super rich people who hire them who don't treat them respectfully. Mr.K works at a hotel that has a few barely famous people stay once in a while and I have never heard his co-workers stop raving about a few certain decent celebs but they NEVER forget the rude ones.
Let's not say "Fuck you" to each other unless we mean it in a sexy way.
Peons, underlings and peasants have no place looking at such an exqisite, beautiful goddess who was obviously carved by the hand of God himself (using only an earth tone palette and hair bleach tyvm)! Much less trying to talk to her. Pshaw.
People of class are often not people of money. I am delighted to say I know a couple who could buy and sell you but don't believe in "above" and "beneath" and they are beautiful people.
A person who treats you well but treats the waitress like shit is not a good person.
shaishai on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 6:25pm
So you're well known and really rich, and you go to dinner and the waitstaff either ignores you, complains about their life, or does not stop interrupting you to announce stupid shit they should be doing automatically. I know this comes as a surprise, but most people don't go out to eat just to shoot the breeze with the waitstaff.
*************************************************************************
I would have followed your comment easier and probably agreed with it if you said that people can be sycophantic or go overboard with well-known people, and that GP may adopt an aloof manner to head that off at the pass.
Where it went wrong for me is that you described so many sins (ignoring, complaining, interrupting to announce things) that it seems like a server would have to walk on eggshells around your friend. I get that complainers are bad, but the first option sounds like what your friend wants (quiet meal, unmolested), and the third sounds like a style that someone who's anxious to provide good service might adopt. Neither of those people sound like asshats who don't deserve a tip. So the scenario has kind of a "Princess and the Pea" sound to it, or Goldilocks or something.
We've all had wait staff who chatted too much, were overly familiar, never checked back on whether we'd like more drinks, etc.. I'm not sure it's your friend's billionaire status that's the problem. Is it possible you're hyperaware of his/her status, and so the actions of service people are more noticeable to you? If you don't feel far removed from them, based on your own background, you might be feeling some status anxiety, and a need to distinguish yourself from them.
It's like they're an embarrassing uncle who shows up in a NASCAR hat at your Yale graduation ceremony.
Submitted by shaishai on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 8:02pm.
@ Tigerlily:
Fuck you.
I would really love to see what you look like and what you do in real life.
I'm thinking hairy fat hag working @ the DMV
_________________________
no FUCK YOU. Tiger is the hottest chick on this board or on the planet or in the universe. i know because she is my girlfriend.
settle down charlie m. did your daddy hate your momma? maybe she was a filthy whore like oksana...Submitted by lovethejared
She's about as pretty as a piece of white bread in the snow. Blah, what a boring looking broad.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 8:21pm.
Tardy to the party, but I saw someone saying "fuck you" to Tigerlilly and had to check it out.
Maybe I need to clarify: People who are high-handed and snotty to subordinates BECAUSE THEY CAN BE are dogshit. I'm not saying VIPs need to have meaningful conversations with peons. But if someone can't be bothered to say thank you to the doorman or look a server in they eye and say please when they're asking for another soda, they are an ill-mannered, classless rube
*********
I agree. When I'm with someone I don't know very well and they behave that way, it speaks volumes about them. And not in a good way.
************
L’homme avance, recule, mains tendues vers les seins marmoréens du tableau, à deux doigts de déclencher l’alarme.
Exodus
gosh Gwinnie but on some underwear! Where's Chris to correct her?LOL
c\#_@/c
"lightbulb!"- Gru
Tardy to the party, but I saw someone saying "fuck you" to Tigerlilly and had to check it out.
Maybe I need to clarify: People who are high-handed and snotty to subordinates BECAUSE THEY CAN BE are dogshit. I'm not saying VIPs need to have meaningful conversations with peons. But if someone can't be bothered to say thank you to the doorman or look a server in they eye and say please when they're asking for another soda, they are an ill-mannered, classless rube.
her hair looks like it's thinning:(
And @Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:07pm.
Oh, i am so sorry. My coworker had a stillborn child and it's incredible how much pain she has been through..
@shaishai
Lighten up...this is D-Listed. In case you haven't noticed we kind of make fun of people with tons of money and/or celebrity.
Submitted by shaishai on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 8:02pm.
@ Tigerlily:
Fuck you.
I would really love to see what you look like and what you do in real life.
I'm thinking hairy fat hag working @ the DMV
**********
Oh for Pete's sake, lighten up. Tigerlilly is just kidding around.
************
L’homme avance, recule, mains tendues vers les seins marmoréens du tableau, à deux doigts de déclencher l’alarme.
Exodus
Tigerlilly: Rawr! Lovely to see you, too, my Princess. Can I have you come into the limo with me and I spank you? Though if Bill texts me with a cyber message, I might have to reply REALLY quick. Because he's usually doing it while at a meeting on how to over-microwave apples with beige sauce.
*dips Tigerlilly for a kiss*
Not a big fan of GP's attitude, but I'm okay with her slight pooch here, and am not offended by her panties. Her hair needs help, though, and she should turn her color wheel to a setting other than "custards and puddings" for a change.
Wouldn't be surprised about her treatment of wait staff, because she always seems either funny and charming or pompous and dismissive. She probably keeps a decision tree app on her iPhone to help her figure out which Gwyneth to be. One of the first branches is probably "Peon? Y/N."
If I had her address, I would send her a gift subscription to Soap Opera Digest and a box of Hot Pockets (for the kids). And something from the Franklin Mint.
Is that Coldplay guy still alive, or is he in the cement under her star on the Walk of Fame?
@ Tigerlily:
Fuck you.
I would really love to see what you look like and what you do in real life.
I'm thinking hairy fat hag working @ the DMV.
On the subject of beige underwear, as a woman, I despise them. Beige panties are the dominion of unsexy grandmothers and Amish housewives. However, under a light colored dress, especially if there are going to be flash-bulb pics, they are a must to avoid the see-through effect of underwear outlines. I usually go sans panties when wearing a light dress, but I'm not subjected to paparazzi shoving a camera up my ass when I exit a car. Fishy probably wants to avoid a Britney Spears bologna sandwich moment when she exits a car, so she gets a pass, for the underwear, not for her attitude.
About tipping, the minimum wage, if I'm not mistaken, for tipped employees is much lower than the regular minimum wage and varies by state. I don't care how much you're worth, if you don't tip for basic service, you're probably nouveau riche gutter trash and have no place frequenting any dining establishment. A waitperson's really got to be heinous for me to not leave a tip for them to provide for themselves and their family if they have one.
Sometimes when I grab a latte with Oprah, I can see how she becomes the victim in this heartless world. If she does not tip at least a ten dollar bill, the baristas send angry lighting bolts through their eyes. Poor Oprah.
Submitted by Andrei on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:50pm.
I am on Bill Gates' payroll and all I have to do is move his cursor and let him download into me. All as he touches my iTit!
*****************************************
That's so exclusively HWAT, sexty that it makes me GOOP my pants....GOOOOOOOOP!
Oh, but the underlings will clean that up...How are you, darling? *air kisses Andrei like he/she is a billionaire taking a former toilet cleaner out on the town*....Lovely to see you, my dear...Care for some champagne?
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I liked her on SNL last Saturday. *runs off*
Her GOOP could NEVER reek. I do believe this,"If you're not worthy, it's like you're not there,"
Sorry about the double post. Windows is all dirty.
I am on Bill Gates' payroll and all I have to do is move his cursor and let him download into me. All as he touches my iTit!
Submitted by shaishai on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:39pm.
And my mention of billionaire friend was merely to point out that growing up poor and having to sometimes work 3x harder than the average Joe did not change how freaky it is when I'm with that particular friend and see the crazy in people's eyes and behavior that I don't see when I'm solo.
*******************************************
I feel quite the same way when I have tea with the Queen of England...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
And my mention of billionaire friend was merely to point out that growing up poor and having to sometimes work 3x harder than the average person did not distort how freaky it is when I'm with that particular friend and see the crazy in people's eyes and their behavior that I don't see when I'm solo.
kokoskitten on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:33pm.
seriously... I would be PISSED at my billionare friends if they took me too even what is considered a "nice" restaraunt...I would expect the finest chef in the world.
______________________________________________
;D
Nah! Ok, we can just do without panties. Nerdy wildlife? As in people wearing glasses at clubs? Kidding. ;) Nah. I wanna go on safari in Africa (hope to sometime this year) and maybe make it a romantic one. ;)
Submitted by Andrei on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:30pm.
Joe Schmoe: I'm also friendly and sexual. Come by and we'll compare panties! And I have a touch of nerdniess: I love wildlife and 90s movies.
**********
Well now, Andrei, that sounds like a lovely combination. I love nerdy wildlife. But I'm a little concerned about the *comparing panties* part. I think your panties would be far more entertaining than mine.
************
L’homme avance, recule, mains tendues vers les seins marmoréens du tableau, à deux doigts de déclencher l’alarme.
Exodus
Submitted by zomay on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:11pm.
Your friend is a "billionaire" and all you have to bitch about is some inexperienced food servers?
Your friend should just hire chefs to come to his or her home. Hire butlers and build a restaurant right next to the house they live in. End of your food server "problems".
____________________________________
seriously... I would be PISSED at my billionare friends if they took me too even what is considered a "nice" restaraunt...I would expect the finest chef in the world.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:26pm.
Submitted by Andrei on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 7:19pm.
Joe touches my "beige" everyday and never gets hung up! OK, that doesn't make sense.