The Randomness Never Ends
A fourth remake of A Star Is Born starring Beyonce has been in the mind of Hollywood for a long time, but now that they've snorted a line of Clint Eastwood, it's alive again. Deadline Hollywood is flirting with April 1st by reporting that Warner Bros. has somehow convinced Clint Eastwood of all pepaws to produce and direct A WIG IS BORN with Beyonce taking the Janet Gaynor-Judy Garland-Barbara Streisand role. No word yet on who will play the drunk has-been opposite Beyonce, but I suggest that they complete the trifecta of WTF by casting The Hoff or Gary Busey (who was in the 1976 one) or Amy Wino or Arthur the Drunk Puppet.
Deadline says that Will Smith was thinking of taking the lead dude role at one point, but recently the names Robert Downey Jr. and Jon Hamm have been brought up.
Are they trying to push Liza off the wagon again? This has the potential to crawl past Showgirls on the ladder of sparkly disasters. Never mind that Beyonce has the acting skills of a wind-up toy on its last wind, I have faith that this soon-to-be bedazzled bomb will try to distract us with sequins and wigs. Oh, the lace fronts will be plentiful in this shit. When production starts, we'll all mysteriously wake up bald and later recognize our follicles on Beyonce's head when a Star Is Boring hits the $3 theater.
Clint can't go wrong if his version of A Star Is Born includes a cat fight scene between Beyonce and Ali Larter and another cameo by Sally Kirkland. Oh, and Clint needs to throw a little Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil in there by casting The Lady Chablis as Beyonce's younger sister.
• 
She's a perfect case study for low self esteem.
________________
"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
Submitted by ricki lake on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 3:33pm.
"A Star is Born does not belong to Streisand. As others mentioned, hers was the third version. The song Memory ain't her original either. If it doesn't belong to Andrew Lloyd Weber, the only person it could belong to is Elaine Paige."
I know that both the movie and the song were originally performed by others, but in my book it ain't a song until it's been sung by Streisand. And I probably stand alone in this, but I like her as an actrice and I even think that she was stunningly beautiful when she was younger. *ducks to avoid barrage of snippy comments*
---------------------------------------------------------
Who are you calling silly cow?
@ bamabam:
beyonce has been sucking dick her entire career how the hell do you think she got where she is?
_____________________________________
Beyonce is just as much ghetto trash as her sister, she just knows how to hide it better.
Barbado Slim 2008
i guess this picture is supposed to be her laughing in our faces... he he bitch your the one that's going to be laughed at when you don't receive that oscar and inturn be the LAUGHING STOCK OF THE WORLD YOU TRULY FUCKING ARE. so go ahead and keep posting pictures like this you insecure no class having uneducated hater ass no talent having ghetto bitch.
_____________________________________
Beyonce is just as much ghetto trash as her sister, she just knows how to hide it better.
Barbado Slim 2008
Britneys cheap ... on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 12:04pm.
Oneliner:
Why do you say that?
jhuds fam. Did die...sacrafice?
______________________________________________
beyonce and her clan are evil no account thugs and yes, i believe right along with you that mathew knowles and jz had jhuds family killed so she couldn't sing for barak. i mean lets think about it for a moment: jhud was ASKED to be in vogue at the the time of dream girls and beyonce wasn't; jhud won the oscar for best supporting actress in dream girls; and last but certainly not least, barak obama asked jhud to sing for his inauguration. now from what i've seen and heard of beyonce her insecurities, inferiority complex, and down right jealousy and hatred for other BLACK GIRLS that are more talented than her-she's not about to allow anyone to upstage her and in turn allow the world to see her for the fake she really is. that said, i believe wholeheartedly that her crew sacrificed jhuds family and i will not be surprised if someone in her immediate family or someone else close to her down the road turns up dead in exchange for her getting an oscar. this family, i believe with all my heart and soul is truly evil and some even say that her team is the reason leona lewis didn't blow up in the US the way she should have.
who the fuck ever said in the first place that this bitch has talent? manufactured auto-tune whore!!
and Clint Eastwood. REALLY? are you going to stoop that low? i never liked you ... but then saw you in Million Dollar Baby and Gran Torino. i started to like you. i watched a few of your other movies and realized that i had been mislead all these years. you are a good actor and director.
but this. THIS? BEYONCE? the sound of her name makes me want to vomit the eggs and toast i had for dinner.
it's okay .. i can go back to thinking you're nothing. i thought you had more Hollywood class than that, Clint.
her teeth look like corn niblets.
"it's called an illusion, michael. a trick is something that a hooker does for money. or cocaine."
For a semi-big starlet, Beyonce is the biggest famewhore there is.
Just stick to stealing songwriting credits from unknown artists, asshole!
*SMH*
Submitted by elmo533 on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 1:25pm.
If they put John Ham in this mess I may have to go see it.
***********
Ummm..YES!
************
L’homme avance, recule, mains tendues vers les seins marmoréens du tableau, à deux doigts de déclencher l’alarme.
Our boy Clinton needs some VO5 and a comb. That hair is a mess. Cut it or comb it, Clinton! You looked your best in "Heartbreak Ridge" with that haircut!
THE LADY CHABLIS!!!! LOL There was a woman who worked at another branch of my company who was always trying to coordinate meetings between everyone. She would drag people from all over the country to these conferences, then realize she gave us all the wrong date, wrong conference, etc. She also hangs up on her own teleconferences pretty regularly. We have to wait for her to stop talking, figure out she's disconnected, and call back. She is forever wearing head-to-toe fur and leather with a bad lacefront, even to business meetings. We call her The Lady Chablis behind her back.
PS - who put the LSD in Clint Eastwood's Geritol? He's really signing off on this?
Oh my LORD GOD IN HEAVEN, let it be RDJr. or Hamm. Either would be so perfect for this cheese fest I'd probably pass out in the theatre. I can just see either one in the denoument, almost dead drunk on the Kodak Theatre stage as the Beyonce character accepts her Oscar, and then accidentally smacking her one across the face. Holy shit. And then looking stoic as he walks into the Pacific to commit suicide, thus relieving Beyonce/Esther of the hideous burden of having to be married to him, as if divorce wouldn't do the same thing. HA! These days a loser husband would sooner sue for maintenance for life than take a dive off a beach in Malibu.
This should be hilarious.
"Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 2:19pm.
I hate it when people mess with Streisand's golden oldies, music- and movie-wise. Don't ruin my sweet childhood memories.
*Wipes her bitter tears and puts another Streisand CD on repeat*
Midnight. Not a sound from the pavement.
Has the moon lost her memory. She is smiling alone.
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan.
Memory - all alone in the moonlight. I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.
Let the memory live again."
A Star is Born does not belong to Streisand. As others mentioned, hers was the third version. The song Memory ain't her original either. If it doesn't belong to Andrew Lloyd Weber, the only person it could belong to is Elaine Paige.
And enough with the damn remakes...I'm still pissed of at Warners and Wolfgang Petersen for that disasterous remake of the classic disaster film, "The Poseidon Adventure". I mean, who could top Stella Stevens as an ex-whore exclaiming lines such as "Just panties? What else do I need?"
And enough with the damn remakes...I'm still pissed of at Warners and Wolfgang Petersen for that disasterous remake of the classic disaster film, "The Poseidon Adventure". I mean, who could top Stella Stevens as an ex-whore exclaiming lines such as "Just panties? What else do I need?"
Nobody, and I mean nobody, could ever top the mind blowing performance that Judy Garland gave in the 1954 remake of this film. It still irks me that she lost out on the Academy Award for best actress to Grace Kelly.
Anyone ever see the dismal remake with Streisand? Talk about a narcissist fest.
*simultaneously hurls and axes self in the head*
And I don't even particularly LIKE this movie. The 1930s version with Frederic March and Janet Gaynor was OK, but I'd give the edge to the Garland/Mason version because it had JUDY! in it.
You and I could play Scrabble and end up with a decent Hollywood screenplay, instead of making this same story over and over and OVER.
*writes theme song for 'My Penis Has a First Name' for Joeb*
I hate it when people mess with Streisand's golden oldies, music- and movie-wise. Don't ruin my sweet childhood memories.
*Wipes her bitter tears and puts another Streisand CD on repeat*
Midnight. Not a sound from the pavement.
Has the moon lost her memory. She is smiling alone.
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan.
Memory - all alone in the moonlight. I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.
Let the memory live again.
---------------------------------------------------------
Who are you calling silly cow?
These remakes really piss me off.
This pitch is so stupid I can't believe it's true. It's already cost Nikki Finke her reputation. Somebody must be treatening her with a Ronni Chasen encounter if she doesn't act like this is true. Just give me 1/1,000,000 of this budget and I'll give you the epic: "My Penis Has A First Name" which will return 1,000,000 times what Bee-ants-says floporama would.
This will be a huge failure at the box office.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
A Star Is Born starring Beyonce? These fucking celebrities really are in love with themselves.
Oh God Please... ANYthing but this...
lets go ahead and cast Carrot Top in the male lead and get it over with ..
Ugh.. I can just hear it now.. that shrieking heiffer's voice held for 18 bars on the soundtrack to "A Star Is Corn" being played in ad nauseum over kill on every FM dial 18 times a day with relocating into a cave in Siberia being the only viable option to to escape this bitch and her omnipotence overcram overkill .
just .. enough.. sit down.. shut up .. enjoy your $350k Hermes purses and fuck off already..
perhaps this will be headlining for the 2012 Armegeddeon..
just NO.. Hell to the NAW..
DListed, the ONLY news you'll ever need.
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 1:15pm.
They should just cast Enrique Iglesias, Jr. as the lead and complete the circle of terrible.
*****************************
Good God ! and Angelina Jesucrista Jollie, Don't ever say that !!!!!!!
they might hear you! and your dream will come true
"A wig is born"
Ahahaahaaahaaaa
My biggest fear is that Beysus is going to try to remake Lady Sings the Blues.
-------
THAT would be a fucking travesty.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 1:15pm.
What is "speshul"???
----------------------------------
Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
maybe if she wanted to be taken seriously, she would do a movie without a soundtrack.
If they put John Ham in this mess I may have to go see it.
----------------------------------
Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Submitted by YourCuntiness: "If she was really trying to be a serious actress she'd be looking for an Aileen Wuornos type role and not these glittery musical movies."
Exactly. And that's just the type of thing that earns these divas a little artsy cred. Like Mariah in "Precious". They took her acting seriously -- and we all know Mooriah isn't a good actress. (I haven't seen it so I can't say, but I remember hearing stuff like "surprisingly solid acting" about Mariah playing a social worker.)
But she's too vain, so it's never going to happen.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Actually, she did attempt a gritty role. She played an alcoholic Etta James in Cadillac Records.
Her best role was Foxy Cleopatra in the Austin Powers movie, she could be as gaudy and tacky as she wanted to be.
Submitted by ricki lake on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 1:06pm.
Honestly...Mariah isn't that bad of an actress. Glitter was a terrible movie, but it wasn't because of her acting. She was good in WiseGirls, and she also got a lot of good reviews for Tennessee, which I didn't see. I get that people want to rag on her, and she's dumber than a box of hair in real life, but she really isn't the terrible actress she's made out to be. At least not to anyone but Internet haters who probably haven't even seen any of the movies she's been in.
===============================================
*faints*
This smells like some rumor mill blurb put out to generate interest, just like the Jessica Biel is in the running for Catwoman rumor.
Face it, to get noticed in Hollywood, to get favored for Oscar consideration, you gotta put in the work in small roles, maybe suck a little dick or two.
You gotta play against type, go ugly, go (pardon me) 'tard, go crack, meth or cokehead/ackoholic, go ho', go gay go nude or go no makeup. With all those options it's clear why Beyonce will never be Hollywood's favorite darling.
Bitch ain't sucking no dick and Clint gonna want his dick sucked if he's gonna direct this. JayZ's probably got to slap her around a few times just to get her to lick the tip.
Hillary's 2nd Oscar had to come from some serious campaigning, i.e. serious suckin and fuckin. You know Angie ain't got no problem with that plus Clint is Hollywood royalty and an old man to boot.
He'd be satisfied with a couple a beej's a week tops just to tarnish his track record. But Beyonce ain't hittin the blowjob circuit. She ain't suckin no dick, no sir.
I see that Clint didn't learn anything from Changeling. A pretty face, does not a movie make. This is going to be terrible. She can barely speak and always has a "speshul" look about her.
They should just cast Enrique Iglesias, Jr. as the lead and complete the circle of terrible.
My biggest fear is that Beysus is going to try to remake Lady Sings the Blues.
I would have preferred Annika Noni Rose or Jill Scott. I should just be grateful that it's not JLo playing the lead.
She will not stop until she is known as the Oscar winning actress, Beyonce.
*shudders at thought*
Honestly...Mariah isn't that bad of an actress. Glitter was a terrible movie, but it wasn't because of her acting. She was good in WiseGirls, and she also got a lot of good reviews for Tennessee, which I didn't see. I get that people want to rag on her, and she's dumber than a box of hair in real life, but she really isn't the terrible actress she's made out to be. At least not to anyone but Internet haters who probably haven't even seen any of the movies she's been in.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 12:05pm.
I am going to play devils advocate and say that if the proper cocks are sucked, and the movie does well
******************************************
haahahahahaha
don't you think she already did.? oh!! you said, the proper cock! sorry my bet.
****************************************
I don't like musicals, but I guess I'm going to watch the Judy Garland edition.
************************
Bobbie: Listen skinny, before you start talking tough, I'd better warn you I've got a black belt in karate. So why don't you get out of here quietly, while you still got some teeth left in that ugly face?
[Foxy knocks her down with a barstool]
Foxy Brown: And I've got MY black belt in barstools! Foxy Brown"
Nothing like a new fresh idea.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 12:05pm.
Mariah had a very small role in Precious...she got good notices but everyone still saw Mariah with a moustache...not a real social worker in that dramatic turn.
------------------------------------------------
Let's credit a good director for Mariah not completely fucking up her role in that movie. I can imagine them telling her to UNDERPLAY IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
There must be a typo--beyoncee should play the part of the has-been.
Or is this going to be part of the golden girls franchise?
Oh please. Beyonce isn't looking for Oscar. It will be like the last one - savaged by critics but the audience was lined up around the theater and the soundtrack stayed #1 for 10 or 15 weeks.
Judy Garland didn't even win. I think the story goes she was in the hospital Oscar night and there were actual death threats against who won (need to check who)
Submitted by yoboo on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 11:19am.
Beyonce is soooo desperate for an Oscar.
She really is. It's so obvious.
**********
"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
Submitted by Britneys cheap ... on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 12:04pm.
Oneliner:
Why do you say that?
jhuds fam. Did die...sacrafice?
-----------------------------------------
hey do your research, draw your own conlusions....to me it just seems possible.
******** SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
IF this is true (and not just floated out there to test public reactions) then Clint needs to re-fucking-tire already. I still can't forgive him for saying that Angie Jo is a great actress...his brain is seriously verging on oatmeal at this point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
ouch, TexnDoc. scathing review.
my favorite quote is from Dorothy Parker talking about Katherine Hepburn of all people, "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B." LOL
"Submitted by Supertramp on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 11:57am.
What a travesty.
This movie has been re-made 3 times already:
1937: Janet Gaynor & Fred March
1954: Judy Garland & James Mason
1976: Barbra Streisand & Kris Kristofferson
Let's just leave it alone - PLEASE."
Technically it has been made once and remade twice. lol /pedantry
People, people, people!
It is obvious... as pointed out earlier by smart posters, Beyonce wants THAT FUCKIN' OSCAR!!! If Jennifer Hudson got one for that wooden performance in Dreamgirls (let's be honest, it was the song that got that Oscar for her, not that God-awful acting), then Beyonce will get one, come hook or bad weave day.
Dreamgirls was supposed to be Beyonce's breakout movie, but Jennifer stole it from her. Sasha, her alter ego, has been pissed ever since.
So what better than to get an Oscar winning director and actor to try and get you an Oscar. If he can get one for Hillary Swank and almost one for Saint Angelina, then I think it might work.
As long as JayZ is NOT involved.
_________________________________________________________
"Giving Charlie a blow job would be like trying to eat a giant piece of dry brisket without any teeth. You're just gumming on that shit and waiting for it to go down. That takes real practice.- MK
she is still many blood rituals away from that oscar.
_Ophelia:
hahaha wiping her ass
or Clints lol
__________________________________
(Dough) I’m going to the store
(Tre) But you aint got no money
(Dough) I’m going anyway
I still remember some of the scathing reviews.
"In one scene Streisand and Kristofferson all by themselves build a two level mansion in the middle of the desert. In the next scene Streisand is belting out rock and roll at Arizona's Devil Stadium. Building the mansion was less work."
i guess Willow was not available.
between the Smiths and Bouncy, they are determined to beat down every fucking musical to a pulp.