Taylor Swift And Jake Gyllenhaal Had Dinner Together
This is about as shocking as the time Taylor Swift found out that storks really aren't flying uteruses (she found this out last night). Here we were all thinking that Taylor and Jakey Gyllenhaal's connection to each other is solely powered by caffeine and diuretics. This isn't so, because People says that Taylor and Jakey ate a meal together last night and as far as we know cups of coffee were not served. Although, there's a good chance they ate mole sauce and tiramisu.
A witness-type tells People that Jakey and Taylor had dinner at Bound'ry restaurant which is near her apartment in Nashville. They sat in the back and the witness gave up these highly important CNN breaking news details about their time together, "They did eat. They were cordial to one another, but not affectionate."
Jake and Taylor are bold bitches for opening up their contract re-negotiations in a public restaurant! Or maybe Taylor asked Jake there because a stork has been flying around her bedroom window lately and she was afraid that maybe she open-mouth kissed with him for too long (that's when he broke the news about the stork thing to her). Or maybe Taylor asked Jake there to let him know that she has anal warts. Or maybe they're just friends and they're tricking us all. Or maybe you really don't give a dick about this, so why don't you watch this video of a horse trying to do butt sex with a tree.
No, it's not a lost scene from Sex and the City 2.
via Buzzfeed
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Both these trolls have had major plastic surgery, their childhood photos look nothing like their current look.
Both these trolls have had major plastic surgery, their childhood photos look nothing like their current look.
No human ever stops to think: Maybe I shouldn't touch that tree cause I don't know where it's been!!
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I Love You More
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Every comment in this post is effing funny. The photos are funny too. How did I miss this?
I don't see Taylor with someone real famous down the road. Maybe a back up dancer or session musician.
She's really not a good singer - even with the help of modern technology.
Her lyrics can be found in the ramblings in a teenager's diary from the 1970's.
I'm looking forward to the day she becomes obsolete.
He was just negotiating how much he has to pay for her not to write a song about her ex-boyfriend who loves to suck dick.
I cannot stand this stupid talentless overrated GIRAFFE.
She can't sing and is so into herself. GET OVER YOURSELF BITCH.
A cat in heat sounds better than you do.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......... *LOL*
@sucky
oh god why do i have an erection?
For whom?
Jakey was such an adorable chicken-little type. If I was his mom, I would love him to death.
TSwiffer was an ugly, fugly pig.
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Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 12/08/2010 - 10:29am.
My ovaries just exploded.
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults the
Jake, to me, seems like the Cary Grant of our pathetic generation.
I expect he is bisexual, but he can't live that life freely, so he has to act straight.
He figured that after Reese (who does not strike me as dumb) got fed up, he'd get some young girl (hello, Dyan Cannon) who wouldn't have a clue.
But Dlisted always gets the shit, as do other gossip blogs....he can't keep EVEN TAYLOR in the dark!
It will be interesting to see what comes out about him in the future....(yes, double entendre.....)
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Maybe the horse had an itch?
Submitted by doonick on Thu, 01/20/2011 - 9:34pm.
These two are hilariously bad at fake dating.
Ha!!
Bound'ry is THE place to go to if you're a celeb who wants to be noticed. It's the Nashville equivalent of the Chateau Marmont or The Ivy, you don't go there for intimate dinners or privacy, so it looks as though it was their intention to be spotted together. These two are hilariously bad at fake dating.
i love the way Dallas' head sways along with his hips - ho-larious!
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Uggg, wanted to vomit listening to the skank with her mouth full who was shooting the video of the horse. Gross!
I am more woman that you'll ever have and more man than you will ever be.
Why are her eyes squintier now? She's lost the baby fat and is really skinny, her eyes should be more open than in her kid pictures...weird...
Under all that nasty makeup, Taylor still looks like that.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
I don't really care if these two are licking on each other or trading blowjob tips at brunch or not, but those two pics you chose for them, MK, are fucking funny!
I can't with Taylor's picture. Jakey G was cute as fuck.
She's a virgin and an innocent like I am...which means NOT. AT. ALL.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
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Yuck. Taylor Swift was even more hideous as a little kid than she is now. She radiates a certain Tina Yothers vibe that no one in their right mind could find attractive. I'm surprised she isn't wearing one of those stupid rainbow-colored "UNIQUE" t-shirts.
I'm thinking if I had a kid who looked like that, I'd be inclined to smother it.
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Saving up your money for a rainy day
Giving all your clothes to charity
Last night the wife said
"Oh boy, when you're dead
You don't take nothing with you
But your soul
Think!"
White trash bitch. Nobody told this cuntry twat's mother that whites should never, EVER, under any circumstances have corn rows?
What is going on with her hair??
Love all the comments about her stupid song lyrics.
Jake's photo looks like the headshot (no pun) for an annoying sitcom
character ala cousin oliver on the brady bunch.
This post of these two should come with a Starbucks coupon
Submitted by ricki lake on Thu, 01/20/2011 - 3:07pm.
O.M.G.
Is that really Taylor Swift?!?! Amazing!!! No wonder ho got teased so much when she was little, she deserved it. Is that thing even human??? Jesus fucking Christ. I just puked all over myself.
---LOL!
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"....she just brings that book along incase she needs to beat a bitch over the head. A book is just a medieval Blackberry."
-MK
I think Taylor has nice features separately, but all together they just don't work. She is weird looking to me.
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I don't care what you say, cause every day I'm feeling fine with myself
And I don't care now what you say, hey- I'll do alright by myself
-Phil Collins
Swifty was not a cute child!
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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK
"WE ATE POSICLES BITCH LAY OFF!!" Jacko
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 01/20/2011 - 3:40pm.
Geezuz, Taylor Swiffer is one ugly chick, then and now.
Jakey - he was probably the class dork that played the french horn, ate glue and collected paper clips to make a belt.
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LOL @ French horn!!! He's just sucking up so that he doesn't en up on her next record.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
i can't hate on the pics since i have a couple of bad school pics too. as for the dinner, i think Taylor just wanted to collect her check in person.
They had dinn'r at Bound'ry?
Geezuz, Taylor Swiffer is one ugly chick, then and now.
Jakey - he was probably the class dork that played the french horn, ate glue and collected paper clips to make a belt.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
poor horsey...i hope the tree helped...
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i lift things up and put them down...
Ricki, I have no idea. But if she does, they're probably perky.
Submitted by ricki lake
less-than-amateur "Dear Diary, boys are cute" lyrics while you strum through your Madonna-level chord progressions
LOL. If that doesn't describe her to a fucking T.
They need to give it up! We all know he is a ghey and we don't care
Also, Taylor is 21.
HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA at the pics
couldn't even read the post cause it's just
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA at the pics
Hekki...Taylor Swift has boobs?
(lol)
yeah she looked like a mutant freak back then, but she was still cuter than the beady eyed thing she is now.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
They were probably just wrapping up some project-related details.
Well, if they were a real couple, he's probably like "Oh, THAT'S why it's not a good idea to date 19 year olds. I kinda forgot." She's probably the type who seems all free-spirited and fun, but is suddenly all clingy and needs to talk about the relationhip and where it's going 24/7. Is a set of perky boobs worth it all?
I totally know how that poor horsey feels.
oh god why do i have an erection
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
O.M.G.
Is that really Taylor Swift?!?! Amazing!!! No wonder ho got teased so much when she was little, she deserved it. Is that thing even human??? Jesus fucking Christ. I just puked all over myself.
I can kinda see why she thinks she's the shit now, coming from THAT, but really ho, you still look like a pinch-faced praying mantis chipmunk gump, and guys just can't stop breaking up with your pathetic ass over the phone!!!! Loves it. Maybe your existence might be slightly more tolerable if you weren't ubiquitously warbling your less-than-amateur "Dear Diary, boys are cute" lyrics while you strum through your Madonna-level chord progressions every time I turn on my fucking TV. Continue to not sell magazines, please. That's the best way to prove to yourself that nobody. gives. a. shit.
Also, Jakey rullll gay. Toothy Tile needs to realize this pile of dog vomit isn't worth the fag haggery. I mean, really? This whiny bitch can't be fun for ANYONE to hang out with but her mom.
LOL @ at the video!
Can't believe how Gyllenhaal, a once promising actor, has turned himself into a punchline. Looks like damage control on all the bad press about what a dick he was for breaking Princess Taylor's heart over the phone. By the way, shouldn't he be shooting a movie or something? Are fauxmances the only way he can get publicity anymore?
Poor horny horse. I know how it feels.
SJP's sex tape is as boring as I'd expect.
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MK, I love you like a fat kid loves cake - MissJaneTexas
Team Horsey Butt Sex, for sure.
Once upon a time, a boring couple went on a boring date and shared boring kisses (no tongue and dental dam in place). Then the boring boyfriend decided he wanted more in life besides a boring girlfriend who is still picking crabs out of her boring crotch after she lost her boring virginity to John Mayer, so he dumped her in a boring way and she wrote a boring song to commemorate their boring relationship and then they met for a boring dinner so that the paparrazi could see that they are still boring friends...blahblahblah
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
LOL at the photos and the video.
Squinty Swift just needed a bittersweet final dinner with Jakey for one of her suckass cornpone songs. Somehow, it will end up sounding like the horse with the itchy ass, though.
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"In the early 1900's with old-timey methods, farmers was losin' 30% of their crops to insects and disease. Now with your modern herbicides, pesticides, insecticides, what have you, they're losin' 30%. Just facts and figgers." - The Accountant
ahahahahHAHAHAHA @ that video MK!! "oh Dallas, don't break the tree!" ahahahhaaaaaaa *dies*
Oh, Jakey, no. Please don't start seeing this stupid little girl again!
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"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
I don't see where this 30 year old man has in common with this 18 or 19 year old girl. She must be good in the sack or something.