Ke$ha Could've Taught A Sex Education Class At The Age Of 7
While most of us were digging for Indian clay in the sandbox during recess, Ke$ha was off writing her second grade book report on the Kama Sutra, because bitch claims she knew EVERYTHING about sex before she was 7. Yeah, I'm sure that book report earned her two golden boot medals on her teacher's mountain of achievement poster. The bumper sticker on her mom's car read: "Proud parent of a 7-year-old Sue Johanson."
Ke$ha bragged about this elementary school fuckery to The London Times on Sunday (via NYDN):
"I knew everything about sex before I was even 7. My mom left me at home when I was 14 with a credit card and a box of condoms and the keys to the car and said, 'Don't get pregnant and don't drink and drive. I had to be responsible for myself."
KeShift4ha is not only full of John Travolta's features, but she's also full of shit too. I mean, I'm at least 4 years older than 7 mentally, I could probably correctly answer at least 90% of the clues in Jeopardy's "Slut Shit" category, and I'm still learning new things about sex. That Fraggle Rock dumpster diver needs to stop.
Hopefully, Ke$ha's mom is still leaving a box of condoms on the kitchen counter....along with a bottle of RID and Hazmat-made bar soap.
• 
Lady Gaga manages to pull off the weird pretty well, Kesha on the other hand looks like a fingerpaint factory exploded on her.
So, she's still a virgin, then?
This entire post makes me want to take an industrial-grade loofah to my eyeballs.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Submitted by CuriouserAndCur... on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 8:38am.
For someone so colorful, she's joyless.
Now that's lovely.
I was a precocious child and considered myself well-schooled in the subject of sex mainly because I snuck my mom's copy of The Happy Hooker off her bookshelf when I was in the 3rd grade.
This is total bullshit/lies. I guess when you're as ugly as Kesha, you have to rely on retarded, made-up childhood slut anecdotes to get attention. And tell every male in the world - "HEY, my legs are wide open - have been since I was seven!".
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
"That Fraggle Rock dumpster diver needs to stop."
That made my fucking day, MK.
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I'm gonna hit you in the fuckin' face with a FULL wine bottle. CORK. AND. ALL!!!
This bitch just needs to STFU. Bragging about having a shitty mother doesn't make you hard core. It makes you even that more pathetic when you're living your life like a whore trying to fill the void of being loved.
Submitted by kanderso on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 8:27am.
...Her nickname on campus was The Ass. You can guess why.
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I'm gonna need a phone number.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
(Opening words of the NYDN article:) Ke$ha isn't shy when it comes to her sexuality - and we may know why.
We take a wild guess:
Because she's so freaking ugly she cannot afford to pass or hesitate when once in a while someone drunk enough erroneously hits on her.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
wow great parenting. who leaves a car w/ their 14 yr old? and about the sex, my neice is 7 and knows what a penis and vagina are, i think thats pretty normal.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 12:29am.
I vote for mushrooms:)
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CO-SIGN
Forget the slag of a mother, this girl obviously has bad daddy issues. Everything about her is sad. For someone so colorful, she's joyless.
Personally, I think it's better to be open and try not to be embarassed about sex when they start asking questions. We say "penis" and "vagina" and except for the fart jokes, we are very matter-of-fact about bodily functions, etc.
I don't think it serves children very well to keep things like that secret or make it seem dirty. Or to lie to them and tell them babies come from the stork or from swallowing watermelon seeds or what have you. They are perfectly capable of understanding the basics even when they are seven.
Submitted by mharker on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 10:54pm.
She strikes me as one of those girls who will let guys do anything to her as long as they don't have vaginal sex so that way she can technically stay a virgin. I don't why this came to me, but her whole persona suggests that to me.
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I knew a girl like that in college. Her dad was a pastor, so she was 'waiting' for marriage, but she was otherwise a huge slut. Her nickname on campus was The Ass. You can guess why. She would also broadcast her non-sex sex stories to anyone who would listen in great detail.
She got married right after college and her dad officiated the wedding. He made this big deal about how she was chaste and wore a purity ring that would be replaced by a wedding ring and all of her college friends were trying soooo hard not to laugh. Because although technically a penis had never been in her vagina, this girl had had a vast, vast variety of peni stuck in every other oriface.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
I feel sorry for this trick, I mean she tries (and mostly fails ) to cut out an identity for herself and has to compete with Lady GaGa on one side and Brit Brit on the other. I'm sure she says half the shit just to be heard at all.
Oh ya...and does she SING at all or are all of her songs spoken in the fucking irritating voice?
Sorry thats complete bullshit. I saw that video of her giving that awful recital in elementary school, and she did not like some girl who knew all about sex at the age of 7. Nope.
Girl, stop. Just stop.
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"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
Please don't remind me this shit bag still exists.
well that certainly explains the "I just blew a smurf" look she has here.
Uh oh- Ke$hit isn't of to a good start on her New Year's resolution of not being a douchebag (per her random comment on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve). I'm surprised it took her this long to break it, actually.
as if she would have had fucks when she was younger?
HAVE YOU SEEN EARLIER footage of her when she was younger?
bitch looked beat and definately was not "one of the hot girls" in high school.
"My mom left me at home when I was 14 with a credit card and a box of condoms and the keys to the car and said, 'Don't get pregnant and don't drink and drive. I had to be responsible for myself."
^
explains everything....
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i lift things up and put them down...
This picture frightens me.
OMFG I HATE HER, what a 1st picture of the day when I turn on my computer...ewwww, started my day by clicking Dlisted 1st, I can tell this day is going to go downhill...she's so dirty!
Submitted by MagnificentChichis on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 1:22am.
I thought she had two legs. Yet I see ONLY ONE. The other leg there, covered in similar spider webbing, appears to be a second left leg, so where is her right leg?
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No. She really does have two left legs. You didn't see her bikini pics? Her legs are so ugly and bland, and her pelvis is disproportionate to a point where her legs are about 8 inches apart where they join. She's deformed in some way, definitely.
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Ain't no cellphones in '69, man. I'm head to toe legit.
KeSHIT will say or do anything to get attention; she's just another in a line of attention whores who think that attention = worth. She just called herself a legspread slut; she's a worthless self exploiter...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 12:53am.
Angel_i, I think you really might have something there.
Oxycontin and Meth = Miley Cyrus and Nickleback.
Jenkem and 4Loko = Kesha.
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LOL! And there you go!
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
QUESTION: Where is her other leg? No negative comment about having only one leg is implied here; rather, the point is that I thought she had two legs. Yet I see ONLY ONE. The other leg there, covered in similar spider webbing, appears to be a second left leg, so where is her right leg? Is the jenkem haze floating off the photo already beginning to affect me? Also, what is jenkem?
Angel_i, I think you really might have something there.
Oxycontin and Meth = Miley Cyrus and Nickleback.
Jenkem and 4Loko = Kesha.
(This is fun)
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Oh how cute. The manufactured product think that there is somebody in the world who gives two shits about anything in her life.
I'ma call her Shifty from now on. It's short for KeShift4ha:)
This girl is so annoying. How do we even know who she is? What is the fucking process that people go through to get to here that they can be SO fucking rough or, in this case, just plain trashy and actually BE here. Her song was in that Bounty Hunter movie. Really?!? (I wondered if Jen A. was all huffy she din't get Gaga) It's weird - did someone in the industry say - Hey errbuddy LOVED it when Britney went full trash; let's do it on purpose!...? I bet you they did.
Which is gonna make me run on becuz there's this theory I have about drugs and the media or what was once experienced through actual art...it all depends on what drugs are popular. The LSD years were good yo. Some AWESOME Sesame Street came outta those years...The Wall, Ziggy Stardust...The cocaine years were slick - Max Headroom, Wall Street, and manic with all that neon and shit....and the heroine years were tragic, of course, all momjeans and Nirvana...now it's pills. It's not good. I vote for mushrooms:)
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
Haha. My mother told me that if I ever got pregnant as a teen that she would kick me out of the house. She also took away my condom stash when I started having sex, so...not sure what message she was trying to send me.
I put zero thought into losing my virginity. I was 18, dude was hot, so I gave him my v-card. Not exactly sound decision-making. Shit like that is why my children will have the talk by 10-11. Maybe earlier.Not all the dirty details, but the basics.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
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When I was a senior in high school, one of my friends had a baby. I told my mother that the baby was so cute, and she told me "Don't do anything to get one." That was my sex talk.
Oh, mothers...
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 12:11am.
My mom NEVER talked to me about sex. Hell, to this day I still can't say the word "penis" in front of her even though I throw around "fuck" like it's going out of style.
So I snooped through their bedroom when I was 11 and found the stash of pornography. Books with all kinds of disgusting things, like two dicks in one hoo-ha. The tapes were 70s glamorous with big bushes, men with mustaches and double penetration. Then there was my 5th grade best friend, at 11 a total skank in training, who taught me how to masturbate.
The moral here: Teach your kids about sex so they don't have to learn about it on their own through disgusting means
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THIS.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
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So, basically, she's saying that her mother was a neglectful piece of shit who made Kesha into an attention whoring piece of shit?
I feel like Darwin discovering Natural Selection after this revelation.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
My mom NEVER talked to me about sex. Hell, to this day I still can't say the word "penis" in front of her even though I throw around "fuck" like it's going out of style.
So I snooped through their bedroom when I was 11 and found the stash of pornography. Books with all kinds of disgusting things, like two dicks in one hoo-ha. The tapes were 70s glamorous with big bushes, men with mustaches and double penetration. Then there was my 5th grade best friend, at 11 a total skank in training, who taught me how to masturbate.
The moral here: Teach your kids about sex so they don't have to learn about it on their own through disgusting means.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
Too bad she didn't start on estrogen at 14. She might have gotten a better result.
Stuff like this always makes me sad. To me her boasting is proof that she hasn't come to terms with the fact that she was a neglected kid. This ain't something to be proud of, honey, au contraire. Instead of talking to the press you should see a professional about this.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I went to catholic school and was simply taught the mechanics at age 10. 'The man inserts his penis into the woman's vagina.' Even better, it was a 70 year old nun, whom now I'm certain was a closet lesbian.
Meh. Still annoying & untalented.
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Familiarity breeds attempt- Jayne Mansfield
D-Listed:Cheap Thrills for Cheap People- Supreme Soviet
Honestly? My folks NEVER gave me the sex talk...I learned about sex through sex ed at school and didn't lose my v-card until I was 20. Idk, it was just sort of common sense to me...you get to know someone before spreading your legs, make him wrap it and bim-bam-BOOM-BOOM! I'm 23 and maybe only been with 4 dudes in my lifetime.
She looks like she smells like a fish tall and a bad yeast infection all in one.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 11:46pm.
Ha! Ain't dat da troof!
I doubt she has ever needed an abortionist (or even birth control) with as much as she drinks. No baby would want to stay in that womb for long. She probably also smells like yeast infections and weeping herpetic wounds too.
Okay. I just grossed myself out.
She's a good example of why little kids should be colouring and drawing at a young age rather than talking about sex - so they end up like this.
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
Submitted by Fraggle on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 11:24pm.
She always looks like she smells of booze and spontaneous abortions.
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Ha! Ain't dat da troof!
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
Living, breathing "fright wig" + creepy clown + Ugly Coyote reject + Madonna and Cyndi Lauper's leftover wardrobe leavings.
= Pathetic
This is missing the bitch please and your face scares me tags
Submitted by Hotmami on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 10:50pm.
My mother handed me a book when I was around 12 or 13 about the physical changes of puberty. Sex was mentioned very briefly on the last page. My parents never talked about it. I had to learn everything by experience. And some of my experiences were pretty damn shitty...either the sex was terrible or I got my feelings hurt.
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Your mom must know my mom; I remember taking a trip to the library, being given a book, and told to write a report on it. I was 10 or 11 I think. All we were told about sex was not to do it and I actually did one of the purity pledges back in 90's (out the window by freshman yr of college once I got free). Learning by (bad) experience sucks (no pun intended).
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Lyin' ass. She's just trying to sound edgy.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
She always looks like she smells of booze and spontaneous abortions.
Ok...young but still..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHBuyHQzh68&feature=related