Jakey Gyllenhaal And Jenny Lewis Are Totally Doing It
And by "it" I mean sipping on Smart Water and staring at full bottles of delicious Moet (Why wasn't anybody guzzling those bottles of sweet nectar like the new prohibition is right around the corner?!) together at the Golden Globes last night. Since Jake Gyllenhaal has broken his promise pinky swear with Taylor Swift, he brought his ex-girlfriend/friend Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley as his plus one to the GGs.
Of course, some people are saying that Jenny Lewis has rolled herself in beard hair and is curling up around Jake's face. Now, I haven't read the newest edition of UsWeekly: Indie Hipster Edition, but I'm pretty sure Jenny Lewis has been with the same dude for centuries. So she's probably just there for the free Smart Water and to inhale the candy clouds of sweetness wafting off of Jake's face merkin. I bet it smells like strawberry-flavored goat milk ice cream.
And Jenny Lewis' appearance at the Golden Globes was a long time coming. The real truth is that she should've been there 20 years ago to receive her award for Best Cookie Time Moves in Troop Beverly Hills.
Oh, and there's also a rumor that Jake was "flirting" with Camilla Belle (pictured below at some InStyle party last night) a couple of nights ago. Flirting my ass. Jakey is a true eyebrow aficionado, so he was simply breathing in Camilla Belle's exquisite brow situation with his eyes so he could sketch it later and hang that shit over his bed.