Jakey Gyllenhaal And Jenny Lewis Are Totally Doing It
And by "it" I mean sipping on Smart Water and staring at full bottles of delicious Moet (Why wasn't anybody guzzling those bottles of sweet nectar like the new prohibition is right around the corner?!) together at the Golden Globes last night. Since Jake Gyllenhaal has broken his promise pinky swear with Taylor Swift, he brought his ex-girlfriend/friend Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley as his plus one to the GGs.
Of course, some people are saying that Jenny Lewis has rolled herself in beard hair and is curling up around Jake's face. Now, I haven't read the newest edition of UsWeekly: Indie Hipster Edition, but I'm pretty sure Jenny Lewis has been with the same dude for centuries. So she's probably just there for the free Smart Water and to inhale the candy clouds of sweetness wafting off of Jake's face merkin. I bet it smells like strawberry-flavored goat milk ice cream.
And Jenny Lewis' appearance at the Golden Globes was a long time coming. The real truth is that she should've been there 20 years ago to receive her award for Best Cookie Time Moves in Troop Beverly Hills.
Oh, and there's also a rumor that Jake was "flirting" with Camilla Belle (pictured below at some InStyle party last night) a couple of nights ago. Flirting my ass. Jakey is a true eyebrow aficionado, so he was simply breathing in Camilla Belle's exquisite brow situation with his eyes so he could sketch it later and hang that shit over his bed.
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I never knew these two dated. I love Jenny Lewis.
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I'm bored with babies and engagements and happiness and joy and shit. - ImpertinentVixen
I looooove Jenny Lewis, and if she's humping on Jake, it would be a HUGE upgrade from that fucking idiot Johnathan Rice. He sucks & is a complete hanger-on. Jenny must be majorly dickmatized to have stayed with him for this long. And their music together sucks a big D.
Camilla Belle is gorgeous! OMG, I can't believe how gorgeous the girl is, lol! Yes, she hasn't done much of anything, so I don't understand how she gets invited to these parties.
Oh God I love me some Jake. And Troop Beverly Hills is one of my favorite movies, TYVM!!!
How does Camilla Belle keep getting invited to things? She hasn't made a movie since 10,000 B.C. Which was a piece of crap.
Having said that, I think she is STUNNING.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
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OMFG MK! I thought that headline was "Jakey Gyllenhaal And JERRY Lewis Are Totally Doing It"!!
In other news I have a vomit-covered keyboard for sale. $5 or best offer.
Jenny should have also gotten a Golden Globe for the movie "The Wizard" back in the day! LOVE that movie still and LOVE Jenny AND her music! I didn't realize she was with Jake last night.
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I Love You More
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i always kind of assumed the song "Straight Edge of the Blade" on the new Jenny and Johnny cd was about him...
does jakey's date have a run in her stockings?
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i lift things up and put them down...
Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 10:04am.
Surprised Jake hasn't made a move on this yet. http://www.boomsy.com/2011/01/new-miley-cyrus-nude-photo-leaked-photo.ht...
I think that's really her.
Jake dates brunettes? I had no idea.
Jake is looking tres butch these days. Wonder if he's moved his keys from the right side to the left. Old-school!
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Gross.
all i know is jenny lewis is a very overrated musician. best song is her cover of handle with care. all else i've heard, there just doesn't seem to be anything there.
idk why but i still love jakey
Leave Jake alone!!!! see that pic where he is saying "Chirio take my hand*??>??? *holds out boobies*
Coma Caca!
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Camilla Belle also dated Joe Jonas...Are we seeing a pattern here? Please say we are.
Yawn! The only things he's totally doing it with is a fleshlight of a twinks bum. He just needs to come out and get it over with. It's not like he can act - so it won't hurt his career.
I thought that was Harriet from Small Wonder in the Cookie Time vid
Jake you've grown a beard. Stop trying to date one.
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Shiitake happens...
I dont know who Jakeys beard is but she looks just like another emaciated fake titted Hollywood ho-and wtf is that dress shes wearing-she looks like shes about to make the porno version of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears-put on a fucking long dress dear-Jakey has brought you to The Golden Globes...
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Well, I sure wouldn't complain about her if they were. I mean, she actually has talent.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Jake needs a blonde!!!
memememmeee!!!
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and, not a single fuck was given this day.
Camilla Belle is beautiful but I fucking hate botoxed or whatever is filling their foreheads. Takes all the character out of a face.
"We're the girls of Beverly Hills, shopping is our greatest thrill."
I used to watch Troop Beverly Hills like crazy. No one like MK can unleash my inner nine-year-old.
No, MK--you got it WRONG!! Jenny still deserves her Emmy for her poignant role as Daisy , the Sunshine Cadet who holds Rose's teddy bear hostage with a water gun filled with red ink( I watch WAY too much Golden Girls)
"It is better to have loved and lost dick than to have never had dick at all."
==Dick Solomon
Third Rock From the Sun
FINALLY SOME JO MATERIAL!************************************************************************************************ Profanity is a crutch used by ignorant motherfuckers.
Jakey can come over here and date me! He not only needs a brunette but an older, wiser, more talented woman. :D
Submitted by Albatross on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 10:39am.
Jakey needs to date a brunette next time.
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*elbows everybody out of the way*
'Sup?
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
the chick in the mini and stockings looks doable. thats all i got.
and any nude pic of Miley is believable to me. That scraggly beaver is gonna end up on a sex tape any day now. She obviously has no issue with anybody taking her picture so yea.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Raul, thanks, I think, for posting that interesting link. No idea if it's real or not but if it is real, girlfriend is a slore.
Wow. Her skirt is reeeeeally fucking short. O.O
Jakey needs to date a brunette next time. Blondes are bad news for him.
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"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
Who gives a fickety fuck about the dress or stockings? I'm going to need those shoes.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 10:15am
I think it's real, don't you?
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
Poor girl, that beard of his must really smell.
Camilla Belle looks like a brunette Leelee Sobieski, or whatever her name is.
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 10:14am.
LOLOL, Raul! She's the wrong sex for him
Think that's real or shopped?************************************************************************************************ Profanity is a crutch used by ignorant motherfuckers.
What's up with her stockings?
Camilla looks hot...that's all.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Jenny Lewis is hot. I like the fact that her mini is too mini for her stockings.
LOLOL, Raul! She's the wrong sex for him
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
Seeing him in Love and Other Drugs was a revelation. He should have won that award. Nope I do not think he is gay anymore since I now want to have sex with him 24 hours a day.
Of course he was hitting up Camilla...she was bearding for that Jonas kid...so he was probably inquiring about her rates.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
Jenny is still dating that Jonathan Rice guy. They have a band too. ____________________________________________
"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Surprised Jake hasn't made a move on this yet. http://www.boomsy.com/2011/01/new-miley-cyrus-nude-photo-leaked-photo.ht... ************************************************************************************************ Profanity is a crutch used by ignorant motherfuckers.