Natalie Portman Won Last Night

Natalie Portman's baby brewing area is going to grow into thousands of pixels before our very eyes in the next few weeks as she accepts Best ActressWhatever at every awards show for her performance in Mother May I Sleep With Mila Kunis? and last night she collected one of her first at the Critics' Choice Movie Awards. (Click here for all the winners)

Actually, let me snatch that back. Natalie is probably not going to win at The Christina Hendricks Awards tomorrow since they will find some way to sneak St. Angie into the Best Actress - Drama category at the last second. They will say that St. Angie's performance in The Tourist is covered with so many layers that she's worthy of comedy, drama and animation awards. They are up on her halo like that. So, Natalie, stay home in your Zac Posen pajama jeans tomorrow, because that shit is not yours to take.

But last night, Natalie wore that shit to accept her trophy. It sorts of looks like a motel bed sheet held up with electrical tape and that sounds like a hot look on paper, but I'm not sure. Maybe I'm too busy slobbering over that trophy to make a concrete decision. Every single trophy resembles a dildo to me and that one looks like it was manufactured by Krypton's most well-respected dick toy makers. Get me one!

Here's a few more pictures from last night's show. In oooorder: Natalie Hershlag, ~~Yanni~~ Christian Bale, Emma Stone, Jon Hamm, Dr. Kevorkian (????), Julianne Moore, Tilda Swinton, Melissa Leo, Michelle Williams, Ryan Gosling, Senorita Jokerface, Nicole Kidman with Keith Urban, Jeremy Renner, ~~Lisa Rinna~~ Helena Bonham Carter and Annette Bening with Warren Beatty.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by emily003 on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 2:18am.

I was very happy to Supra Shoes, I gave his work number down, and do not Supra Muska know whether this move that my dollar is counterfeit. My God, seeing all over the detectors, and he told me come back tomorrow! I had to come to the fire, and I swear I’ll get you for this,Supra Skytop 2 Shoes! Then I hit the 95,559 grumblets to go! I have a few,Womens Supra Vaider Shoes, yes, ah, so I let him count them again, he does not squint at me friconclusionly, and then lay down cash registers, Supra TK Societythe last two thousand four hundred whole, a point not less. He did not believe, add one, and finally did not even apologize and seek the Supra Footwear mode is very unpleasant.

Submitted by kiwikim on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 4:43pm.

Love Michelle Williams pixie, but she's hitting the botox. Forehead doesn't match face. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's marriage...the don't look too in love anymore. Poor nicole.
Eva Mendes, what not to wear.

Submitted by MaxThrax on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 1:00pm.

No shots of Trent Reznor? Punk ass.

Submitted by cprincess on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 9:10am.

"Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 12:50am.cprincess- You meant Vincent CASSEL"

yes-thank you Pinki-that is who I meant...
my brain goes on shut down later in the day after my adderall has worn off....

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by chaka1 on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 8:18am.

BY the way, what's going on with Nicole Kidman's face. It looks oddly shaped!!

Submitted by chaka1 on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 8:15am.

I ADORE ANNETTE BENNING AND JULIANE MOORE!!!

Submitted by RedWeatherTigerD on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 7:44am.

I know we all need to feel bad for Michelle Williams until the end of time because of Heath Ledger and the baby and everything, but damn, girl, grow your hair. You are not Audrey Hepburn or even little Hermione. And while it's growing, take some lessons in how to stop being such a slow-talker. I saw her interviewed on...Jon Stewart? And she is so plodding and dull...like everything she says has to be rehearsed in her mind four times before she says it. Makes for a riveting interview.

Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 11:20pm.

cprincess- You meant Vincent CASSEL.

Submitted by Lemonaide on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 10:20pm.

Jodelle Ferland is an amazing child actress (if you can stomach a child being able to play uber creepy characters for realz). It will be interesting to see if she parlays that acting ability into a successful adult career. The little seen movie "Tideland" was just WHACK and she was excellent in it. That said, she seems to be typecast already in that kind of role.

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I just saw Case 39. She was excellent as the creepy kid. She does very well at that.

I haven't seen The Black Swan yet, probably because I don't really like Portman. In the past, I've found her to be a dull and wooden actress. But I hope she's improved since her Star Wars days.

Submitted by Neurotic on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 9:54pm.

Forgot to ask: any of you horz seen Blue Valentine?

That's a film I doubt I'd like. I cannot put my finger on it, but I dislike Michelle Williams and Ryan Gossling in anything I see them in, so both being in the movie makes me not want to see it, unless it's worth it and I try my best to set aside what I think of them.

Weirdest thing is none of them does anything offensive in particular, except for Ryan being overrated in the looks department (yes, personal taste, not his fault) and Williams giving me the pretentious cunt vibe in every picture I see her in (yes, I am aware she's likely very different from the images/interviews/media content we get to see her in.)

I have T-Rex arms, but I'm still fucking lol'ing about the comments of Portman's arms. It's comforting to have a flaw when a celebrity also has the same problem, I guess. Much easier to laugh at this shit.

Submitted by Caramel on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 9:39pm.

I read one review of Black Swan where the writer called it Natalie Portman's Norbit.

Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 9:15pm.

Yanni...Christian Bale

LOL!!!!!!

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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K

Submitted by cprincess on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 9:11pm.

I love Julianne Moore and yeah I dont know wtf shes wearing there but it works on her better than it would anyone else-she also hasnt fucked up her face...
Eva Mendes is starting to annoy the fuck out of me-Im supposed to worship her because shes Cuban and my hubby is Cuban but i have just informed him that shes got a face that needs a good smack everyday...
I havent seen The Kings Speech but everyone I know whose seen it is raving.
I saw Black Swan and I liked it although bits of it irritated me-I loved the cinematography which really showed the agony of ballet-Natalie Portman Ive always liked and I love Vincent Gallo-the Mila chick is beautiful-everyone I know whose seen it has come up with different theories about what the plot -its certainly thought provoking.....as my mother said to me while we were watching it and the lesbian scene came on-
"this movies got everything in it!"

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 8:50pm.

Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 6:09pm.

I can not believe someone just said that Juliette Lewis is a good actor,
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BEWEAVE IT!

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 5:36pm.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 6:57pm
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Ok, I just had an out of body experience when I read your post that said Winona Ryder was in 'Black Swan.' When I saw *Winona* , I thought of Wynnona Judd. I was transfixed, trying to picture her in a tutu.

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Qu'advient-il du trou lorsque le fromage a disparu? ~ Bertolt Brecht

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 5:31pm.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 6:57pm.
King's Speech is playing to sold out audiences.

Oh, cool. I hope it does well, so we'll get more such movies.

..............
If I wanted to pay for emotional issues, I'd go to a strip club. (IDLYITW)

Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 5:27pm.

<"Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:52pm.
The King's Speech is amazing, but it lacks any explosions, gun-play, drugs, or lesbian sex. It'll make you laugh and cry, but it's probably too staid and understated for broad commercial success.">

King's Speech is playing to sold out audiences. The theater I saw it in was packed, every seat taken and that is not the norm for any movie.
Word has gone out for the over 50 crowd (who for the most part do not go to movies) to see it. It is ridiculous it got an "R" rating. I saw Black Swan a second time today and the older couple in the line for King's Speech said they hadn't been "to the movies" in 10 years. Word got out from somebody.

Black Swan was better the 2nd time because you pick up things missed - at least I did (the creepy director who when Natalie lies there at the end runs up and calls her "my little princess", what he had called has-been Winona Ryder)

Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 5:20pm.

Julianne Moore wears such wierd clothes is that a dress with pockets? I like that the front looks like the back (((((wooo)))) titties!

Submitted by Neurotic on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 5:06pm.

I have seen Black Swan 3 times already.

Not for Portman, but because I thoroughly enjoy films about athletes, dancers and so on.

I wish they made more films about these people who push boundaries with their bodies, that's all.

Portman's performance was more about actually being able to dance fairly well despite not dedicating her entire life to the craft. True, she trained Ballet for a while there in her life, but she didn't live and breathe it for her 32 years old existence(that's how old she is, right?)

The film would be more enjoyable with less crazy. I can't take the 'real plot' aspects too seriously when I don't know if what's happening is Natalie's anorexic/paranoid/schizo hallucinations or a real event in the life of her character.

Submitted by yucko on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 4:56pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 5:50pm.
I wonder how Annette Bening gets her arms to be so slender and toned looking without being sinewy and muscular. Madonna, maybe if you ask nicely she'll tell you. Take copious notes.

Julianne Moore looks awful. Sorry.
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You're right--her arms are great. Like my mom's arms. Unfortunately I have naturally thicker arms, a la Hilary Duff. In order for them to be lean-looking I'd probably have to be about ten pounds under my ideal weight.

And Julianne does look like shit--I figured I was the only person thinking that, since people always praise her.

@madam s., I loved the girl in "The Fall". She was great.

I find myself disliking Natalie less and less lately. I have no idea why.

Submitted by super-ette on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 4:48pm.

hmm Ryan Gosling is one of my pretend boyfriends, but I have to say I hate his suit here. Too small.

Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 4:40pm.

Michelle Williams looks so old. That's a good pic actually, sometimes she looks downright 'cheap menu at Denny's' old. Poor gal.

Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 4:39pm.

I can not believe someone just said that Juliette Lewis is a good actor, hahahhaha. She's a good rock star, though, I think that is more her calling.

TILDA. Am I right? I love it. Her and Ryan Gosling are two of my favourite people. Gosling definitely has wonk-eye but it's more like Hyperphoria.

Submitted by mefunigirl on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 4:26pm.

Submitted by fez on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:45pm.
OK, so is Eva Mendes' dress just supposed to look see-thru and really has a nude colored underslip? cuz in the 1st thumbnail pic of her it looks like a giant areola - and is she working or doing anything beside attending every media event?
............

I noticed it too, and thinking she's desperate for some attention now, and reduced to starting on this path because the whole acting thing eludes her.

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 4:20pm.

I wonder how Annette Bening gets her arms to be so slender and toned looking without being sinewy and muscular. Madonna, maybe if you ask nicely she'll tell you. Take copious notes.

That's Michelle Williams? I thought it was Carey Mulligan. I kinda like MW, though. For some reason I keep seeing movies with her in them lately.

Julianne Moore looks awful. Sorry.

Submitted by QueenieBK on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 3:54pm.

WTF is up with her hair?? It looks like shit!

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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by Crystal Lynn on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 3:31pm.

Double damn @ Jon Hamm!

Submitted by Texrocks on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:55pm.

Michelle Williams just seems so "low energy".

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:38pm.

You know who needs a fucking nod now and then? Juliette Lewis. I can not think of ONE character that she's done that fell flat in any way shape or form. I mean, sometimes I remember Juliette and I can't remember the rest of the fucking movie she was in...but that doesn't happen often cuz she also, generally, chooses her movies well...And how somebody can be both ugly as sin and sexy as fuck at the same time is totally beyond me. I mean, I've seen it on men but rarely can a woman pull that shit off.

And I can't think of one time she's been celebrated...'cept maybe for a minute for natural born killers...but really, that's it.

Just putting it out there. She's no Audrey Hepburn but we already have one of those anyway!

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:34pm.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:13pm.
even though Portman was good, I always see her acting -- I never fully believed it. English actors are amazing in that way -- I rarely ever see them acting; then again, they are classically trained, unlike American actors, who often get their roles because of the way they look, not necessarily because they have talent
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You know, this is a comparison I could never put my finger on... but you nailed it.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:31pm.

Submitted by Glambert on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:18pm.
Hate on Natalie all you want but clearly you have not seen Black Swan! She is FUCKING AMAZING in that movie and DESERVES all of the awards she will win for it!
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Please stop, you are really embarrassing.

I've seen it, by the way, and I didn't care for either Portman or Kunis's performances. Overrated.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:28pm.

Kokoskitten -- I totally agree with you on Mila Kunis' performance in "Black Swan." While I was watching it, I was thinking a good 12-15 years ago a young Angelina Jolie would have played that role. I don't know why everyone is raving over her -- not that good of an actress nor is she that impressive looking. Average all around IMO. I couldn't get past those swn wings tats on her shoulders -- would an actual ballet company let that shit slide?

Submitted by MaxiePad on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:27pm.

Such a coincidence on the read carpet: Jack Kevorkian (looking lively) and Julianne Moore (looking like an embalmed corpse).

Also, looks like Ryan Gosling hatched out of his egg a bit too early. His face is delicately "out of place".

***
I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.

- Gautama.

Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:59pm.

Ryan Gosling has a case of the wonk eye.

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:44pm.

Right back atcha, SugarFree! Good to see you!

and@Fraggle - Same, I didn't hate it but I really didn't find anything all that impressive about it either.

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:40pm.

I think Annette Bening is so freaking gorgeous. Warren is a lucky dog.

Submitted by Fraggle on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:37pm.

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 2:38pm.

The story line is pretty age old altho the ending is quite lovely. There's no thrill. It's really obvious what's going on right from the start and with a few minor uninteresting it twists it played out exactly as I expected it to....the story is emptyish and the characters are (to use a cliche) underdeveloped. The acting was mediocre AT BEST. The editing was really good tho:) Honestly - that's my take on it.

Exactly. I found it a bit obnoxious that they kept trying to make it out like you were going to have no idea how the movie was going to turn out by throwing in really obvious red herrings. It certainly wasn't a horrible movie but it wasn't anything 'great' imho.

Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:30pm.

God I love you Angel_i!!!!

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:08pm.

Submitted by Crustyina Fagulera. on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:57pm.

Is it the cool thing to hate on Black Swan now?
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I thought I was being uncool by not liking it.

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:05pm.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:33pm.

OMG! What are those weird cracks around Julianne Moore's eyes??? Could it be...no...it couldn't be..crowsfeet?? In Hollywood? Mon Dieu, that's one brave (and absolutely beautiful) woman.
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You know. I started waiting for my crow's feet when I was still a teen. I just thought it was a real mark of womanhood. Sexy - strong - wise. That's what I see in crows feet. And I find the sexiest older women today are the one's with some lines in their faces. Even Nicole in some movie I saw not too long ago - and her face was natural *wanders back to computer wondering what the hell I was going on about at the time* :)

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by Glambert on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:48pm.

Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:49pm.

Ugh, this is why I can't deal with popular culture in this country... it not only rewards the mediocre (although it usually does that too), but often rewards the truly awful. Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus get awards for music, Natalie Portman gets an award for acting, these people and all of those reality show stars become famous and wealthy. It. does. not. make. sense.
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Hate on Natalie all you want but clearly you have not seen Black Swan! She is FUCKING AMAZING in that movie and DESERVES all of the awards she will win for it!

Submitted by Fraggle on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:35pm.

Submitted by BlissBoo on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:42pm.

As for The Black Swan, I liked it. For many different elements. I also saw all those other films and enjoyed them. The Fountain was slow, but it had its moments.

All of the movies I mentioned in relation to "Black Swan" are cult classics that I happen to like as well, but, there was a certain annoying "aren't we being clever, spooky and mysterious?" meme to "Black Swan" that got on my nerves. Some movies just try too hard at being pretentious in the "keeping you guessing to the point of eye-rolls" which, to me, feels like "playing down to the audience".

Submitted by Crustyina Fagulera. on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:27pm.

Is it the cool thing to hate on Black Swan now? I think it was an amazing movie, maybe because I was majorly BLUNTED* but it was amazing nonetheless. At least it's not Sleazetina or Cher swoopin' the awards for 'Burlesque' this season.

*Blunted = to smoke large amounts of marijuana in a fat ass BLUNT!

Submitted by The Real Mean Girl on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:25pm.

Someone check me for a fever! I'd actually rather fuck John Hamm than Rapunzel... uh Christian Bale.

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"Drink your juice, Shelby" M'Lynn Steel Magnolias

Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:25pm.

Submitted by BlissBoo on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 1:42pm.

@Fraggle - I completely agree with you. She was a child genius and I like the fact that she went to Harvard to complete her education. I can respect that. We didn't have to hear about her partying, having DUI's, etc. I'm not saying she's perfect, I don't know her, who knows what she does. I always find it amusing when people judge actors and they don't even know them, but hey, I guess DListed wouldn't even exist then. Wink.
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Eh, I don't think anyone is judging Portman here so far... I know I'm not, I'm judging her fucking WORK! As a movie buff, what the hell am I supposed to do, praise her for being a shitty, overpaid actress?

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"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:22pm.

The King's Speech is amazing, but it lacks any explosions, gun-play, drugs, or lesbian sex. It'll make you laugh and cry, but it's probably too staid and understated for broad commercial success.

..............
If I wanted to pay for emotional issues, I'd go to a strip club. (IDLYITW)

Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:20pm.

EvilPopTart,

I danced ballet too, from 3 to 18, so I'm sure that we are even more prone to roll our eyes at the foolishness!

I agree that The Professional was good, but high quality child acting is often due to outstanding directing of the child and then editing, editing, editing. I remember a while back I saw some extra footage from that film, and Portman was just an obnoxious little kid. (She was WAY cuter as a kid though than she is now). But I'd put Portman in the Lindsay Lohan category of child acting. For amazing kids in film, three of the best child performances I've ever seen... the various girls in Pan's Labyrinth, The City of Lost Children, and The Fall. Now THOSE are good child actors. (None are in the public eye now either, something we unfortunately can't say of Portman and Lohan).

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:17pm.

lol! Mofos who fronted the money for The Tourist must be working overtime polishing critics' & award show executives' knobs & pussays. I wonder if they paid off the Razzie guys to not feature it as the most expensive bomb of the year.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:17pm.

Al Pacino played Dr.Kevorkian in some HBO movie/miniseries and I think he and/or the movie got nominated for the Globes and I'm guessing whatever this mess awards show. I saw Black Swan and seriously Natalie only made two faces the entire movie. I found Mila's character/alter ego/whatever the hell she was supposed to be completely unbelievable as the smoking, hard partying, tough chick ballerina. The movie was ok....predictable and I certainly wasn't "shocked" or at the edge of my seat.

Submitted by fez on Sat, 01/15/2011 - 12:15pm.

OK, so is Eva Mendes' dress just supposed to look see-thru and really has a nude colored underslip? cuz in the 1st thumbnail pic of her it looks like a giant areola - and is she working or doing anything beside attending every media event?