BRING ME MAC AND CHEEEEEEESE!!!!
Kobayashi ain't got shit on Oprah. The Mighty O tells Piers Morgan in an interview airing on CNN next Monday that she pretty much devoured a Kraft factory after she found out that her movie Beloved bombed at the box office. Even Oprah gets a shock when Oprah fails at something. So she dealt with it the only way she knew how at the time. Oprah let out a roar that rattled the kitchen cabinets and out poured tons of macaroni noodles and blocks of cheese. Oprah says that she ordered her chef to fill up the wheelbarrow with mac and cheese and BRING IT TO HER NOW! Oprah just kept eatin' and eatin' and eatin'.....and I'll let her explain it to you in her words:
"I'm not in the movie business. I did this movie because I was passionate about it. I didn't know that you had that weekend and that is it. So I am thinking that if people don't go this weekend, that people will go see it next weekend.
It premiered on a Friday and I remember hearing on Saturday morning that we got beat by something called Chucky. I didn't even know what Chucky was. I asked my chef at the time, Art Smith, to make some macaroni and cheese.
I ate about 30 pounds worth. I'm not kidding! It's the only time in my life I was ever depressed. I recognized I was depressed because I've done enough shows [to know], 'Oh, this is what those people must feel like. I think the way life is set up for most people who have the opportunity to succeed, is that if you get the lesson, you don't have to repeat that again."
Little do we know that "Mac and Cheese" is really Oprah's pet name for Gayle. But really, at least Oprah has someone on payroll who will fill up her bathtub with a mound of carbs that weighs more than a small child. Even poor Jennifer Aniston has to pull out the salad bowl and fill it with Easy Mac and Smart Water by herself!
Shit, if I had a personal chef, I'd tell him to make 30 pounds of mac and cheese just because. Of course, I'd ask him to sprinkle a bag of Utz broccoli chips on top so I can get my daily dose of Vitamin C. I do care about my health, you know!
via UsWeekly
• 
I know people like to hate on Oprah because of her wealth, but she WAS good in 'Beloved' and she is a very good actress, although she does it ınfrequently. If she had really concentrated on it she could have carved out a very good name for herself in the field.
But 'Beloved' was also some really exceptional subject matter and I think that kept people away. I mean even the book is hard to understand as it is.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by literarylioness: "OMG I have seen the river of heaven and it tastes like bacon."
Hopefully as delicious as Rachel Ray's complicated recipe for late night microwave bacon.
Submitted by Wood Dragon on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:42pm.
Once upon a time I made homemade Mac+Cheese and put in 1/2 lb of diced bacon for shits and giggles.
OMG I have seen the river of heaven and it tastes like bacon.
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Hey Wood Dragon-are you born in 1964? That is a wood dragon year. Just curious.
Okrah ain't kidding: Beloved grossed only $22m domestically, on a production budget of $80m. It grossed 35% of that the opening weekend. 'Course, losing $58m for O is like you or me losing $58: bad but far from the end of the world.
* * * * * *
"One person in every couple thinks it's a monogamous relationship." (SFGate comment)
Wasn't she raped by a family member and had an abortion? That wasn't a depressing time for her?
This bitch gonna eat 30 lbs. of mac and cheese because she lost $$$$$ to Chucky when bitch is already a billionaire (and that's still not enough $$$ for her) and bitch wanna tell US how to live???? FUCK YOU OPRAH! Get your head out of a trough before you have the nerve to get on us about what we should read, do, watch...or EAT! The dumbfuck Oprahloonies are fucking stupider that the Claymates who thought that twink, bottom fairy queen was even 2% straight. If Oprah had the answers, bitch wouldn't be pushin' 300 lbs. as she launches her OWN network which I hope tanks bigger than 'Beloved' did...even though, I grudgingly admit to liking it...
*calls 911 on self*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Personally, I re-discovered Sloppy Joes. Good shit and easy to make.
Stouffer's Mac and Cheese is like heaven in a tray. Best Mac and Cheese ever made IMO.
LMAO at this ho being by a fucking Child's Play movie. L.O.L. As far as the mac n' cheese binge, she's clearly an emotional eater. Obviously her emotions have been fucked up for a long ass time.
I did like her in The Color Purple.
Re:Monique in Precious-I was scared of her watching that movie. Maybe 'cause she reminded me of my mother. Just fat. And black.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
"
Submitted by dlaugher on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 4:43pm.
stefystef I too really liked Beloved. I think Oprah was really good in it. it was very haunting.
i also love macaroni and cheese (not from a box!).
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The movie really was pretty good, despite what people said, because it wasn't what they expected from Oprah.
The other actors really helped to boost her performance. The problem is that if Oprah was a REAL ACTRESS, she would have sucked up the bomb movie and went out and made another one.
Hell, Aniston is always making bombs and she keeps coming back! She's got another movie, with Adam Sandler, coming out in a couple of week. If Aniston can keep trying to be a star, this Oprah should have kept trying too.
Her problem is that she thought BECAUSE she was Oprah, everyone would love ANYTHING she put out.
Yeah, right bitch. *LOL*
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"Giving Charlie a blow job would be like trying to eat a giant piece of dry brisket without any teeth. You're just gumming on that shit and waiting for it to go down. That takes real practice. - M
Submitted by VitaminF on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:16pm.
@bambam
Probably, if I cut back on my food spending and eat pasta with canned meat sauce or something I could afford to buy myself a diamond necklace or something. But what's the point? I enjoy good health (touchwood) and good food all the time. Its a great pleasure in life to have your cake and eat it too (in moderation).
================================================
Not knocking your pleasure, it's mine too. We're probably in different phases of life. I see the need to save money, focus on getting healthier and I can make my own sauce or doctor jarred sauce to my tastes, better than store bought stuff. Sort of compromising to fiscal realities while still having my cake, doncha know?
Tutti a tavola a mangara!
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 4:19pm.
Good to know; Tyler Perry is a very smart man!! :D
Anyway, Mo'Nique was excellent in that role and totally deserved that Oscar! Makes me wonder what Oprah was devouring as Mo'Nique was giving her acceptance speech. :P
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I love stating the obvious. *LOL*
But Oprah couldn't have given the performance like Mo'nique.
And you know and I know that Oprahs was TOTALLY hating on Mo' during the Oscars- eating Mac and Cheese and everything. Especially since Oprah has not won one (just nominated once).
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"Giving Charlie a blow job would be like trying to eat a giant piece of dry brisket without any teeth. You're just gumming on that shit and waiting for it to go down. That takes real practice. - M
Oprah may appear to have her shit together but she doesn't and probably never will. The food, the fame, the money don't erase the shame.
It is part of her appeal. Her being a food addict and a fattie makes other women flock to her like flies on shit.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
stefystef I too really liked Beloved. I think Oprah was really good in it. it was very haunting.
i also love macaroni and cheese (not from a box!).
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:56pm.
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Good to know; Tyler Perry is a very smart man!! :D
Anyway, Mo'Nique was excellent in that role and totally deserved that Oscar! Makes me wonder what Oprah was devouring as Mo'Nique was giving her acceptance speech. :P
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"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the
"Oh, this is what those people must feel like. I think the way life is set up for most people who have the opportunity to succeed, is that if you get the lesson, you don't have to repeat that again."
Whuuuh????
Golf claps for use of "those people". Goopy, take note.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:26pm.
Of course, b!tch cast herself in the lead. She is so vain and transparent, it's ridiculous. I'm just surprised that she didn't cast herself in Mo'Nique's role in Precious. Then again, in her delusional mind, she probably thought that she was too 'thin' and 'beautiful' to be believable in that role. **cough, cough **
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Oprah would have cast herself in Precious, but Tyler Perry wouldn't allow it. He knows better. He's a smart movie producer and Oprah hitch her fat ass on that rising star because:
1) Tyler is very talented and has tapped into a niche for positive African American movies that try to cover the complex facets of our lives without being TOO stereotypical (yes, his characters are full of stereotypes, but they are not unrealistic). His movies have been hits, both box office and critical.
2) Oprah loves the gheys mens. *LOL*
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"Giving Charlie a blow job would be like trying to eat a giant piece of dry brisket without any teeth. You're just gumming on that shit and waiting for it to go down. That takes real practice. - Michael K, 1/1/11
Thanks for the idea of adding bacon to mac+cheese. I can see a mac+cheese+bacon dinner in my near future.
Speaking of delicious bacon, I just saw that Sarah, Duchess of Pork, will host a show on the OWN network! Viewers can tune in and learn how to be a life-long drunk and general liability to their own nation!
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:43pm.
Okay, I'm going to admit something.
I like Beloved. I was the only person I know who liked the movie. I went with a fellow black woman who HATED IT! The theatre was full, most of them Oprah fans.
The problem with the movie?
Oprah should not have been the star. Just the producer. She was fine, the other actors better. There should have been a different lead actress, like Angela Bassett.
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Of course, b!tch cast herself in the lead. She is so vain and transparent, it's ridiculous. I'm just surprised that she didn't cast herself in Mo'Nique's role in Precious. Then again, in her delusional mind, she probably thought that she was too 'thin' and 'beautiful' to be believable in that role. **cough, cough **
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"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the
Silly Oprah! That's what booze is for.
Silly Oprah! That's what booze is for.
@bambam
Probably, if I cut back on my food spending and eat pasta with canned meat sauce or something I could afford to buy myself a diamond necklace or something. But what's the point? I enjoy good health (touchwood) and good food all the time. Its a great pleasure in life to have your cake and eat it too (in moderation).
For once I sympathize with the Big O, and it isn't often. She believed in the book, and thought this would be the movie to make her a movie star, and believe me, every TV star really wants to be a movie star, where people actually have to PROVE they love you by paying money to see you, not just channel surfing, wearing Forever Lazy, clicking away between accident/injury lawyers and you-can-be-a-dental-assistant schools during the daytime. For Beloved, she lost a great deal of weight, and also had the plastic surgery to create the mask we are now familiar with, to make her features... well, there's no other way of saying it... less black. To her mentality, there's nothing shameful about that, because like everything else about her, it was career-motivated, an investment.
Submitted by VitaminF on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:55pm.
Wait... I do eat like this, except, the fruits are not organic, there is no chef, there is no alcohol with lunch cuz I am at work , I make a mess in the kitchen every time I cook and I hate doing dishes, at dinner its generally salmon or lamb and lots of wine(can not afford fine champagne everyday) and some decadent dessert.
I spend almost all my money on fine food and I do not regret it.
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You and I are of the same mind, no? But we have to change our habits. All that money can be useful elsewhere, but yeah, good fooooooood.
@Submitted by Wood Dragon on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:42pm.
Once upon a time I made homemade Mac+Cheese and put in 1/2 lb of diced bacon for shits and giggles.
OMG I have seen the river of heaven and it tastes like bacon.
-------
Okay now I am craving bacon and mac and chees like never before!
And i have none of the ingredients at home, nevermind a chef...
Ahh bacon! A muslim friend of mine said "bacon is the muslims worst temptation!" (yes they cheat especially when they live in a country where everyone eats bacon!ha!
If I had Oprah's money I would order my chef to bring me a nice cuppa green tea when I wake up, then a wonderful breakfast of fresh, organic fruit salad, toast with a dash of butter and some homemade marmalade or strawberry preserve with the finest espresso. It would be finest dark chocolate and a piece of fruit for snacking and a super fresh sushi lunch with a glass or two or three of brut champagne for lunch and a wonderful dinner of fresh lobster and grilled veggies and more champagne with a chocolate mousse or tiramisu for dessert.
Wait... I do eat like this, except, the fruits are not organic, there is no chef, there is no alcohol with lunch cuz I am at work , I make a mess in the kitchen every time I cook and I hate doing dishes, at dinner its generally salmon or lamb and lots of wine(can not afford fine champagne everyday) and some decadent dessert.
I spend almost all my money on fine food and I do not regret it.
But the way Oprah eats is a disgrace, greedy bitch. You should enjoy great food in moderation not devour a tub full of crap.
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:56pm.
I was high and watching OWN at like 2 AM the other day (don't judge)
+++++++++++++++++++
OMG I was laughing hysterically when I read this because YOU HAVE to be high to watch this mess of a TV network! I'll admit the brouhaha about Oprah's stupid network made me investigate whether or not I had that stupid channel and lo and behold I did. I was scrolling through the list of shows thinking "what the hell is this gonna be The Color Purple and Beloved shown on a continuous loop?!" and the shows are just awful!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'M DONESVILLE!
Nourish the Inner Asshole
Borrachas of the world unite and take over!
@Submitted by justaguest on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:43pm.
Her personal chef ... bitch, pick up a pot and spoon and a box of Kraft macaroni & cheese and make it yourself, like most people do. How about a touch of fucking real life sometime.
---
Are you crazy?? She can't have that!!! Surely you must understand.
Oh poor Opie your $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ wasnt enought to be happy about. And give me a break you dont know what Chucky is? Idiot.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:13pm.
Is it OK to go to Trader Joe's in my Forever Lazy? All your talk about mac n cheese has ruined my day, now I have to drive over there and get some delicious frozen m n c. I'm not sharing.
^^^^^
The hell you're not!
*chases Mr. M. with spork*
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Grow your own dope: plant a man.
Okay, I'm going to admit something.
I like Beloved. I was the only person I know who liked the movie. I went with a fellow black woman who HATED IT! The theatre was full, most of them Oprah fans.
The problem with the movie?
Oprah should not have been the star. Just the producer. She was fine, the other actors better. There should have been a different lead actress, like Angela Bassett.
But people just want Oprah to be on TV making them feel good, not some movie about a former slave who murdered her daughter rather than go back to her abusive master and is haunted by her dead baby's ghost (loved Thandi Newton). That's not funny, it's not fun.
The movie went over the heads of too many people, but "Beloved" is a tough book to read too. Oprah thought everyone would love the movie because they love her. Well, Oprah, your main fan base is a bunch of white hausfraus not looking for a movie about the depressing lives of blacks in America after the end of slavery.
Anyway, that's no excuse, Oprah!!!! Make a flop???? Go out and make other movie!!!! Not eat Mac and Cheese.
_________________________________________________________
"Giving Charlie a blow job would be like trying to eat a giant piece of dry brisket without any teeth. You're just gumming on that shit and waiting for it to go down. That takes real practice. - Michael K, 1/1/11
Really, that's the only time she's been depressed? So when she tells the story how she was molested and the time she got knocked up and had a baby, that wasn't depressing? But her shitty ego-stroke movie tanked and that depressed her? Maybe it tanked because: 1) people weren't interested and 2) she's a shitty actress, she should have gotten someone else to play the part.
And come to think of it, how about her "Crash" moment when Hermes wouldn't let her big fat ass in their store after hours? Besides being outraged as she was, didn't that depress her?
Her personal chef ... bitch, pick up a pot and spoon and a box of Kraft macaroni & cheese and make it yourself, like most people do. How about a touch of fucking real life sometime.
Once upon a time I made homemade Mac+Cheese and put in 1/2 lb of diced bacon for shits and giggles.
OMG I have seen the river of heaven and it tastes like bacon.
Gimme a break, did she honestly expect us to believe that was the only time she ever pigged out on fattening, carb-rich food? But what I really want to know is if Oprah sprinkled crushed Cheezit crackers on top of her mac n'cheese...cuz that combo is quite delish, not 30 lbs worth of delish but close.
I get the feeling that were it not for her wealth and career, she'd be one of those obese 700 lb. lumps you see profiled on TLC or Discovery Channel. Or on the local news as being too fat to pass through her front door thereby requiring firemen to knock down a wall just to take her to the hospital.
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"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."--Dorothy Parker
MK is on Huffington Post hes #1 for coming up with
"There will be blood lible #palinmovies"
Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/13/twitter-palin-movies_n_808590.h...
LOL!! YAY Michael K!
_______________________
Albatross - that link didn't work for me and I want to see!
I appreciate the BIG-O's honesty, but what's her excuse for the other 364 nights of the year?
"Beloved" MLK weekend marathon on OWN in 3...2...
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:07pm.
She has a personal chef, but does she have a personal plumber? I can only imagine what her gold-plated toilet goes through. Good lord.
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LOL! You KNOW Oprah can fill a toilet.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
"I think the way life is set up for most people who have the opportunity to succeed, is that if you get the lesson, you don't have to repeat that again."
What does this mean? That people who suffer from depression haven't "learned their lesson" from the first time they felt depressed? If that's what she means then she needs to learn more about depression, because that is not at all how it works. This sounds a lot like blaming the victim, and that is appalling coming from anyone, and especially offensive coming from someone with her own struggles and extraordinary wealth. She should know better.
oprah must be failing at so many other things since i'm sure she inhales mac and cheese on a daily basis...
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i lift things up and put them down...
Is it OK to go to Trader Joe's in my Forever Lazy? All your talk about mac n cheese has ruined my day, now I have to drive over there and get some delicious frozen m n c. I'm not sharing.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Becky in Sydney
You know everyone is going to have insane cravings for mac and cheese now
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:59pm.
Another condescending, in denial, out of touch rich bitch.....
If I had Oprah's money, I'd have my personal chef cheer me up with lobster tails, steamed clams, oysters on a half shell, grilled asparagus, au gratin potatoes, caprese salad with good Italian bread, sweet corn on the cobb, good champagne, and mango custard for dessert, (all after a nice fattie). Mac n cheese? Gimme a break.
LOL! For real, right? That sounds delicious!
Ugh, just imagining Oprah on her mac and cheese binge...
She has a personal chef, but does she have a personal plumber? I can only imagine what her gold-plated toilet goes through. Good lord.
--------------------------------------
19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Submitted by Somuchbetterthanyou on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:00pm.
Submitted by Night Owl on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:54pm.
Bring on the mac and cheese binge when OWN flops. I can't get into the new agey/self help programs on there. And Gayle King seems like a pleasant person but I can't see people flocking to her show either.
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Reruns of reruns from OTHER stations that are already YEARS old.
3 boring-ass "original" programs on an endless loop. I am turned off by any title that includes "OPRAH'S experts" alone.
Lame-ass Lifetime-style movies thrown in to "mix it up."
And Gayle has already FAILED as a host on network tv, so...
_________________________________
Seriously...today's line-up includes "Billy Elliot", "Trading Spaces", a bunch of cooking shows, Gayle and Dr.Phil MULTIPLE times, and "Message in a bottle" (stupid rom com with Kevin Costner) TWICE.....ugggh.
Hey Ooomprah, not all depressed people eat themselves to death.
Fucking ignorant cow.
Submitted by Night Owl on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:54pm.
Bring on the mac and cheese binge when OWN flops. I can't get into the new agey/self help programs on there. And Gayle King seems like a pleasant person but I can't see people flocking to her show either.
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Yup. Better head to my local grocer and get the ingredients before she buys out stores w/in a 20 mile radius, cuz that station is unmitigated SHIT.
Reruns of reruns from OTHER stations that are already YEARS old.
3 or 4 boring-ass "original" programs on an endless loop. I am turned off by any title that includes "OPRAH'S experts" alone.
Lame-ass Lifetime-style movies thrown in to "mix it up."
And Gayle has already FAILED as a host on network tv, so...
:) hey, East Bay peeps (and you, too)
i think she is saying she gained thirty pounds.
not that she ate thirty pounds of mac and cheese.
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http://alisoncecilejohns.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/pomloplum?feature=mhum
Another condescending, in denial, out of touch rich bitch.....
If I had Oprah's money, I'd have my personal chef cheer me up with lobster tails, steamed clams, oysters on a half shell, grilled asparagus, au gratin potatoes, caprese salad with good Italian bread, sweet corn on the cobb, good champagne, and mango custard for dessert, (all after a nice fattie). Mac n cheese? Gimme a break.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I was high and watching OWN at like 2 AM the other day (don't judge) and I was really struck by how fucking crazy Oprah is. It was "Oprah Behind the Scenes", and Oprah was discussing how some people thought that a comment she had made to some gay dude that he looked "even gayer than last time he was on the show" was offensive to gay people. Well, the fatass made some huge show about "calling her gays into the office" to ask them if they found it offensive...since O is soooo removed from being a dyke, there's no way she could even tell for herself if it was an off remark! She then literally turned to the camera and denied the gay rumors, saying "I'm NOT gay, no matter what anyone says about me, I'm NOT."
*side eye*
Mmmmmmhhmmmm...
--------------------------------------
19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Bring on the mac and cheese binge when OWN flops. I can't get into the new agey/self help programs on there. And Gayle King seems like a pleasant person but I can't see people flocking to her show either.