Chet Haze Is Taking Over The Rap Game!

Specifically, the rap game at Northwestern University. Specifically specifically, the rape game among sons of Hollywood movie stars who happen to go to Northwestern University. Chet Haze's government name is Chet Hanks and he's Tom Hank's other son. Yeah, don't ask me how he came up with the name Chet Haze. That sounds like a condition Lisa from Weird Science suffered from after inhaling Chet's shit fumes.

Chet has had roles in the Bratz movie and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls, but he's put his acting skills aside to focus on his new career as a frat boy MC. Gawker tells us that Chet Haze's first single called "White & Purple (Northwestern Remix)" is a wig snatch of Mo Greene's "White & Purple (NU Anthem 2010)." Listen for yourself:

This mess sounds like a song Barney might bust out to teach the kids about equality, but it's seriously embedded in my brain now. I know I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night mumbling "whiteandpurplewhiteandpurplewhiteandpurple" over and over again.

And of course, I'd hit it until I'm whiteandpurplewhiteandpurple.

Posted by: Michael K

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I Don't Like Jokes • Panty Creamer of the Day

Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 4:58am.

I WOULD FUCK THAT in a HEARTBEAT!

Submitted by SpeakLowMrWeill on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 1:42am.

As a fellow NU Theatre person, I can tell you that those are the most flattering images of Chet I've ever seen. In reality, I don't think anyone would "hit til [they're] whiteandpurplewhiteandpurple." I can still recount auditioning with him and hearing his a cappella rendition of "Beauty School Dropout" from Grease.

He's almost as good as Dad. Almost.

Submitted by fez on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 10:25pm.

Well, all I can hope is that he is taking advantage of all that Northwestern can give him academically, although I'm not so convinced he is doing that...Obviously, a great university education, he has a "nice" voice, but very "vanilla", best to hit the books, boy and maybe utilize the drama club in between the stat classes, math, and business, etc...

Submitted by Kabee on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 7:19pm.

This is what his FB page had to say about him...

Living the college life, Chet's days consist of chilling with his boys, attending class, and taking care of business. However, his nights consist of absolutely murdering tracks, and living what he is really spitting.

LMAO, God, that's awful. I wonder what "business" he had to take care of? He's a rich white guy born into privilege, so his little rap career is a big joke to me. He is young and hot though, so maybe that will help his "career".

Submitted by LMA618 on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 5:13pm.

Like who's his muddah? And then there's Colin. How many illegitimates does tom hanks have?

Submitted by vanitysmurf on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:15pm.

This is a remake of the popular song by Wiz Khalifa, 'Black and Yellow'. I like Wiz's way better, but this song could be waaaaaay worse.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:25pm.

I like this. The same way I like It's So Cold in the D.

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

Submitted by Kerfuffles on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 12:45pm.

This is more embarrassing than Tom Hanks' hair in The Da Vinci Code.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 12:20pm.

Isn't there a song with a similar hook called "Black and Yellow?" I only know this from watching MTV at a friend's house one night. I was weirded out by the horrible music.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by BabyJane on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 10:30am.

I was ready for a good laugh from poor little Richie Rich white boy, but actually the song is kinda cute.
Uhhhhh rap? No.

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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.

Submitted by Miss Thang on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 9:46am.

what...the...FUCK is this? What has rap come to? Please take me back to the 80s. ZOr the 90s with the Fugees and Bone Thugs. I miss conscious hip hop. Enough of this buffoonery already. yeeesh!

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I like living this way. I like loving this way.

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 9:01am.

"hittin blunts right after hittin books" LOL

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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 8:58am.

Submitted by Mother Superior on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 9:20am.

It's so weird and I have no idea if some non-English native speakers agree with me, but when I listen to songs like that, I never understand any lyrics, just someone monotonously lingering around one tone and chewing on a sponge.

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Hell, I'm a brown native-English speaker and I never understand them either. I like the rhythms tho:)

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 8:53am.

SOMEONE OUTTA TELL THIS DILDO
JUST CAUSE YOU CAN MAKE WORD RHYME & GOT A BOOM BOX
DONT MAKE YOU A FKING RAPPER

STICK THAT UP YOUR PEEHOLE

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 7:56am.

Oh my...

This is another great reason why celebs should not procreate....I'm terrified to see what "careers" the current crop of Hollywood BABIES will eke out for themselves in ten years...Suri will have face tats for sure.
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19 Cats and Counting!

THE FULL RELEASE LOOP

What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR

Submitted by Mother Superior on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 7:50am.

Submitted by parkerj on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 7:27am.

The best remix of Black and Yellow is the one Khalifa did for his song with Snoop Dog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWAGLkyxQG0

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"Bye, Whore" -MK

Submitted by perky on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 7:15am.

"Got a call from the brothas at the Frat house...I'm wit mah gurl tryin to get up under dat blouse."

My God he's the poet of our time. Mya Angelou's reign if officially over.

Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 6:38am.

I read this as "...taking over the RAPE game". Isn't it a crime to rape our ears with this mess?

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 6:20am.

He sounds like that douche Fred Durst. Good job he's cute.

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 5:50am.

Wiz Khalifa's version is far superior, and GO STEELERS!

Submitted by iluvlondon on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 5:49am.

mehr the track isn't THAT bad. he loses street cred points for being Tom Hanks son though.

that said i'm just going to repeat what everybody else has offered up: he'd get it, over and over and over and over again, and then once more.

Submitted by kayce. on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 5:17am.

the rape game? well, i'd be willing to bet roofies ARE this douchebag's BFF, so... typo and it stays.

Submitted by scig on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 5:09am.

Jezuuz---this bitch would do well as a lounge rapper at the Holiday Inn somewhere on the outskirts of Jersey City...would love to see this ho and Ke$hit do a duet at a Meeting of the Juggalos.....I prefer his more talented brother Colin...

Submitted by parkerj on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 5:07am.

The original by Wiz Kahlifa is way better.

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"Bye, Whore" -MK

Submitted by sonne on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 4:54am.

Had to google that one. Oh my, yes he does. :D

Submitted by Pinay Pie on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:52am.

Boyfriend looks like a Bel-ami model.
_________

We are all made of stars.

Submitted by sonne on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:26am.

LOL, Dgrin, you're right (just googled him, too). He's nice looking in the pic MK put up, even if I do find white boys trying to be something they most certainly aren't annoying.

Submitted by Mick on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:22am.

OMG, OMG - I could fuck that till 2025....peen pix, please, Chet!

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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"

Submitted by hamblettamaud on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:10am.

I think Chet will be bald before his 30th birthday. The song is shit too. In gay porn I think he would have some success.

(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:09am.

Chet is a scorching hot homosexual!

Please post nude photos of CHet?!

Submitted by ravynskye on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:56am.

Regarding: Indian Jones flick he did... Is "student in the library" REALLY considered a 'part' when your father is TOM HANKS?

Yeah... methinks someone is in college because acting was a no-go, (smart choice, Chet), and god please let this be some kind of frat haze thing he had to do, and that's why the last name he released under was 'haze'.

He had to properly humiliate himself by making this, and next week they drive him to the nearest under-privileged area and make him show off his 'rap' to the actual people of the culture who spawned hip-hop and then he gets beat down for being a rich white boy who be frontin'.

That is the explanation I'm going with, or else my brain will explode from the badness.

Submitted by Dgrin on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:55am.

as long as he doesn't give me a smile(just googled him)he can stay on my bed for a day, and no i didn't hit play,

Submitted by bigorexia on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:34am.

He's lucky he looks nothing like his Daddy!

Submitted by kokoskitten on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:19am.

He needs a dirrrrty south remix that is chopped, screwed, syruped etc....and he needs a grill.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd0S0LwhEDU&ob=av2el

Submitted by stake_spike on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 12:57am.

He looks nothing like Tom Hanks. Or Rita Wilson.

Submitted by sonne on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 12:01am.

Do not like it when suburban white boys try to be what? Ghetto? What's the ok word to use these days? Anyway, boyfriend doesn't know shit about what constitutes a rough life except maybe being left alone in his parents McMansion with easy access to booze and alchohol.
He would look better in the BM dresses than Rumer, lol.

Submitted by MichyPR on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 12:01am.

HOT!!! I'd definitely hit it and bite those guns.

Submitted by Diana Crabtree on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 11:40pm.

I loved the song, which embarrassed me, until I learned it is the exact same tune as this: "Black & Yellow" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UePtoxDhJSw
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If you want to pop your pussy on the train tracks, more power to you. But don't try to pass it off as something more than popping your pussy on the train tracks. -MK

dianacrabtree.blogspot.com

Submitted by gines on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 11:27pm.

Oh yeah, and Mo Greene? Totally took a class with that guy in my senior year :)

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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella

Submitted by gines on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 11:25pm.

REPPIN' MY ALMA MATER! :D :D :D

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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella

Submitted by Mawy on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:59pm.

I'm sure he will eventually work in corporate America and his frat buddies will tease him for this in 10 years. Poor Tom Hanks. He is such a great actor.
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Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:42pm.

Well, he's waaay prettier than Rumer Willis, nepotism + Eminem-ey looks will lock down a career. Not gonna torture my ears by hitting play, tho, thnxmuch.

Submitted by Somewhat Bitter on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:39pm.

I would totally fuck him.

Submitted by Anonymous Coward on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:35pm.

lol. He's so hard. Northwestern is like the Ivy League of the midwest and the "riches" he speaks of come from daddy's millions. Pretty sure he'll be taken seriously in the rap world.

But really, I would be taken aback if papa Hanks signed off/paid for this douchebaggery. This does not seem like something he would want to be attached to, even if it is his kid.

Submitted by EmbalmerKitty on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:08pm.

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:51pm.

He looks sexy in a skinhead type of way.

I know, I'm sick.
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Some of those AB boys are actually pretty cute.

A guy named "Chet" will be laughed at in the Rap world. He should sing country. :p

Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:54pm.

He looks like a pretty frat boy and doesn't even have a tiny bit of daddy's talent. His meh "talent" must come from his mom. However, I would snatch his pops in a hot second. I still can't understand what Tom Hanks saw in Rita Wilson.

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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:49pm.

Good Lord, what kind of roidy mess is this?! I can't believe Daddy Hanks would OK this career move, but I'll bet his mama Rita Wilson is all for it. Jeebus, he's scary, and in a really white trash-ish way. Never thought I'd consider the reedy Colin to be the winner offspring, but apparently he got all the good genes.