It's Chrissy, Bitch (Again)
No Brit Brit comeback would be complete without any appearance by her most famous and loyal fan: CHRISSY CROCKER (The "Leave Britney Aloooooone" Dude for those of you who don't fuck with names)!! As Brit Brit's new song rises up the charts like your cholesterol after eating a plate of Cheetosquiles, Chris is whipping out the video for his single "Freak of Nature."
This shit is like the bastard love child of Xtina's "Not Myself Tonight" mess and The Robin Byrd Show. In Chrissy's video, he tames a hot piece while looking like a dominatrix you might find on a Craigslist ad under the subject: "Former Rock of Love Bus star available for out calls only..."
Even if this shit doesn't do it for you, you have to admit that it's sort of nice seeing what Heidi Montag's original face looked like.
via Feast of Fun
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I like it!
What I want to know is:
WHO THE FUCK **PAID** FOR THIS SHIT? The video AND the song?
He should've sprung for some stilettos, because when he's rolling around on the bed in the chick outfit he has total man feet. Also, the part where he flicks off the camera he has a short, dirty nail, which is gross enough and then he SUCKS it! Uuuuugh I disagree w/those who say we're desensitized to everything, b/c that part fully grossed me out
1) Damn, what a huge dumb-ass I was back then.
2) How I survived that shit, I'll never know.
3) If only my 35-year-old self could go back in time and visit my 25-year-old self, I would kick my own fucking ass.
These three truths, my friends, are guaranteed
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dayum, i was nodding yes the whole time reading this!! ahahah HOW DID I LIVE THROUGH THAT?? :)
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
I'm.. soo.. CONFUSED!! i find him attractive as a slutty blonde female ?:( heheheh hawt!!
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
.........and yet even he's still more original than CaCa XD
I love how he s trying to be shocking and there is just nothing left that this world isnt already desensitized to. At this point, being average and "normal" is more shocking than this hot mess.
fuck those goddamn son of a horses i got better things to do like love landwhale and bake some bread and tell some fuckers to fuck off.----charlie m.
Twenty-somethings can't be held accountable ???? Bullshit. This dumb-fuck knows exactly what he's doing.
Every time he pops up in that vid as the brunette male, I can't help but picture DJ Qualls doing a parody of this.
"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."
Remember the days when being a freak was actually shocking? It was such a long time ago....
If he can find success doing this, I wish him the best. It's not my taste and trying to be freaking in this day and age is funny. Everybody is a freak now, lol, one way or another. I miss the good old days. :P
eta: I'm laughing because some of you wonderful peeps were noticing the strawberries rather than the supposed freakiness. Yet one more reason why I love this place!
He's really going to regret his over-the-top behavior one day, when his mind reaches the level of an adult that is.
I'm a firm believer that no one in their 20s should be held accountable for their actions or be reminded of them after the age of 30. When everyone reaches their 30s, 40s and beyond, they will look back on their 20s and whisper the same universal truths:
1) Damn, what a huge dumb-ass I was back then.
2) How I survived that shit, I'll never know.
3) If only my 35-year-old self could go back in time and visit my 25-year-old self, I would kick my own fucking ass.
These three truths, my friends, are guaranteed.
I LIKE IT!!!
OMG it's actually quite good. Haha.
Compared to Ke$sha, Rhianna and Katy Perry, this is a hit...
Lame. Pedestrian. Boring. This kid was cute and funny and weird and kooky a few years ago, but now he's just a creepy 20 year old. Yuck. Plus, those strawberries look BUDGET and out of season, girl. Dippin them Food Emporium berries in a cup of Krasdale Chocolate Syrup? Tsk tsk. NEXT!
Seeing him like this brings out the mother in me, in the sense that I hope that he's practising safe sex in real life. Little boys who crave attention like he does tend to forget about that.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I got about 1/2 way through it. Meh, it's no worse than a lot of stuff that's already out there. Nothing really exciting about it though.
"The Robyn Byrd Show"!!!
Remember the old days, when her Friday night show was followed by Al Goldstein's "Midnight Blue"? Yes, Manhattan Neighborhood Network Channel 35, the People's Network!! (Byrd's show is still on in reruns.)
"And remember, if you don't have anyone, you always have me, Robyn Byrd..."
Robin's black spider bikini and cowboy boots need to be in a museum.
"Baby let me bang your box, baby let me bang your box
Baby let me play your eighty-eight
I'm gonna bang 'til the whole house rocks
(...)
I've been playin' piano, large and small
But you've got the best piano of all
I banged everyone in the neighbourhood
Never banged one that sounds so good
I've got a shuffle, a back beat, a boogie woogie too
But when I play my jelly roll you won't know what to do"
I'm sorry but I cannot say anything bad about this. I have a soft spot in my heart for Crissy...I get the feeling that this video is kind of a parody of Britney/Xtina, etc. I can't imagine anyone being THIS dillusional unless your last name is Kardashian, Wilkinson, or Zolciak.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
i would like to offer my sincerest condolences to the piece of hot chocolate forced to let Chrissy rub his mangina all over him.
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"A lot of people like to fool you and say that you're not smart if you never went to college, but common sense rules over everything. That's what I learned from selling crack"
- Snoop
Gaga is packing a bigger schwanze*. I saw chrissy's elongated clit already. Advertising his video as 'uncensored' doesn't promise much.
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Submitted by Mike Hawk on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 7:50pm.
When did Lady GaGa get such a high voice?
* The urban dictionary had 'one who shops at men's wearhouse' as one of the definitions. Make of that what you will.
kieranx - you are wrong. snooki cant hold up his jockstrap. she can do nothing bot get drunk and be very sadly pathetic and yet revolting.
he is out there workin' it, making a video, writing a song, not just getting drunk and getting paid for it.
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The McCanns Did It
Bwahahaha!! He has Heidi Montag's original face..and is hotter. Dude looks good with short hair.
I thought I would hate it, but I kind of like it better than Xtina and Britney's latest. Damn!
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
i think he makes a very pretty girl!
and its the new stupid kind of "sexy" and yet funny too!
i do like that kid. he appeals to me. fellating the banana.
miley would think that was edgy. he knows its stupid.
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The McCanns Did It
Chrissy Crocker? What has that fudgepacker been doing lately? Wasn't he supposed to get his own reality show? His grandparents have to be ashamed of him.
Better then xtina's last song lol i hope he gets famous I wont buy his song or support it but he seems like he wants to be famous bad so why not?!? i mean all singers are untalented and come on look at the Kardashians they got famous for nothing so i hope this mofo gets super famous with it all begining "leave brit alone" video. Good luck weirdo...
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(Dough) I’m going to the store
(Tre) But you aint got no money
(Dough) I’m going anyway
He may look like a rent-a-twink in Brit's Womanizer weave, but it's still better than that last Xtina video.
work bitch! seriously - considering the shit out there, this is certainly not that bad. MK - my first exposure to late night porn was the Robyn Bird show on channel 35 in Manhattan! Back when the converter boxes were illegal. Those were the dayssss!!!
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BITCH, HOLD MY PONYTAIL....
work bitch! seriously - considering the shit out there, this is certainly not that bad. MK - my first exposure to late night porn was the Robyn Bird show on channel 35 in Manhattan! Back when the converter boxes were illegal. Those were the dayssss!!!
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BITCH, HOLD MY PONYTAIL....
Not this asswipe again.
I especially liked the part where CC passed off his tatty blonde wig to someone else. That was a nice bit of self deprecating humor.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 7:29pm.
Yeah yeah yeah, bring on the hate. I'm no fan of Chrissy but this video has more cojones than that new crap of Ricky Martin's. At least we get to see what Chrissy likes, and we approve his message. Get it, Chrissy!
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For real! I'm jealous he had that hot piece who was all over him. DAYUM, HOT. Can I haz some?
Forget Brit Brit, Chrissy's givin' GAGA a run for her money here!!!!
Okay! You're a freak. We get it.
I've been watching old clips of The Doors and listening to this shit is brutal. I mean Jim was usually drunk/high and still had more soul than this techno crap.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
it's not something i would put on my ipod but i could see this doing ok actually. good for him!
is it wrong that i kind of like this song, damn it
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Inside of every cynic is sunshine and rainbows just bursting to come out
OMFG. He actually reminded me of Blake Lively in several of the wig shots. SCARY!!!!!!!
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I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
I was ready to bitch, but this moe has something going with this song. No worse, and surely far less expensive, than the average Britney/Xtina crap.
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I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
When did Lady GaGa get such a high voice?
Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 7:43pm.
I'm one of those man on man action turns me on kind of girl!
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Wow! CC, you rock! Just reminded me of a gal pal I had back in the day who used to borrow my porn tapes and watch them with her boyfriend. They both though gay porn was hotter, which said a lot about the boyfriend's sense of security...I remember they loved "Kansas City Trucking Co." which featured not just gay, but straight sex.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Wow, this is way better than Shitney's new song LOL
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs
This is hilarious.
It's really no worse than a lot of what female pop singers produce these days.
Actually refreshing to see gay soft porn, as opposed to straight soft porn.
I'm one of those man on man action turns me on kind of girl!
Sounds like something stolen off of the cutting room floor during an X-tina recording session.
He looks better as a boy.
Very nice, A metaphor worthy of MK.
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Submitted by I need more cowbell on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:56pm.
Wish he had hired a professional makeup artist and taken dance lessons. He looks like a russian shot puter having seizures.
Yeah yeah yeah, bring on the hate. I'm no fan of Chrissy but this video has more cojones than that new crap of Ricky Martin's. At least we get to see what Chrissy likes, and we approve his message. Get it, Chrissy!
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
I thought the cross dresser who did 'put a ring on it' was more talented.
It seems that autotune and frequent video edits is what passes for edgy music these days.
I was just wondering what he had been up to, and now I am wondering why I was wondering. Still his hissy fit back in the day was priceless.
He looks better with the shorter darker hair but other than that he is an epic failure at life and he DOES NOT represent all gay people, only the ones that we do not want to be associated with, and he is trying to copy Jeffree Star, YUCK
Chris Crocker is trying to be a watered down version of Jeffree Star and it's failing, btw that's another idiot that needs to crawl back in the sewer.
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Please get the fuck out ---->
Almost couldn't recognize him with dark hair, I was like: "What's Johnny Wier doing there?"
He has been doing this for many years, it's amazing he still can't seem to know how to make himself look better, he could do it, if only he tried.