BABIES For Everyone!!!

If rain isn't falling from the sky then snow is. If snow isn't falling from the sky then dead birds are. If dead birds aren't falling from the sky then BABIES!!!!! are. One of those BABIES!!! falling from the sky used to be a tiny spermling hanging out in Owen Wilson's nutsack. Owen Wilson's rep confirms to Entertainment Weekly that his 42-year-old ass is going to become a father for the very first time. The mother of his child is his girlfriend of a year Jade Duell.

Owen's rep basically just confirmed that Jade's knocked up and said that both of them are really happy. Thankfully, he kept it simple and didn't say they were "Over the Moon" happy. One of Owen's friends tells UsWeekly that Jade is due any day now.

My only thought about this news is that it sort of sucks that Owen's nose didn't come naturally (he broke it in a high school football accident). I mean, I know that if I was a baby I'd want a nose that looks like a pinched and crooked peen with an extra long urethra.

Posted by: Michael K

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BABIES!!! • Owen Wilson

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:14pm.

Submitted by kasbah on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:40pm.

The Butterscotch Stallion rides again!
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Ride that Butterscotch Stallion!! Team Owen B.S. Wilson!

Slut!!

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“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:12pm.

he has really pretty eyes, but I can't with that honker on him..

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We can make weapons out of these candy canes.
Go ahead, suck it til it's pointy.

Submitted by kasbah on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:10pm.

The Butterscotch Stallion rides again!

Submitted by Noir Easter on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:06pm.

This is the face of Portia's dreams ... -a moisturized Ellen with a dildo-nose.

Submitted by lazee on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:02pm.

The first thing I noticed was his peen nose.

Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:59pm.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:28pm.
?

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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"

Submitted by YourCuntiness on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:59pm.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:20pm.

My stomach has been hurting for the last few days. I hope I am not having a case of the babies as well. If so, immaculate conception will be making its comeback!
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Ha you're as paranoid as I am right now. I was feeling nauseas earlier, really sensitive to smells, and all I kept thinking was BABY. I've watched too many episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" and am totally convinced I'm going to be one of those girls that (claims) they were on the pill and getting their period and WHAM! baby.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:58pm.

"Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:59pm.

Lots of BABIES......I'm happy for all the expectant parents. Being a parent is awesome."

Uhh....
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:57pm.

If rain isn't falling from the sky then snow is. If snow isn't falling from the sky then dead birds are. If dead birds aren't falling from the sky then BABIES!!!!
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You forgot the cats and dogs.

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:56pm.

I like baby news better than death news, tedious as it may be.

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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK

Submitted by stake_spike on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:47pm.

Golddigging/unplanned pregnancy alert.

None of the Wilson brothers have children and something tells me they were happy keeping it that way.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:50pm.

My stomach has been hurting for the last few days. I hope I am not having a case of the babies as well. If so, immaculate conception will be making its comeback!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:40pm.

pictures of the girlfriend....

http://www.laineygossip.com/Owen_Wilson_and_girlfriend_Jade_Duell_expect...

She looks very normal/average...maybe that's why we never saw her.

Submitted by Big Bertha on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:40pm.

Hansel. Hansel's so hot right now.

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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!