Giada De Laurentiis Is The Perfect Wife

Looking like a wonk-eyed Tweetie Bird with a weave on, Giada De Laurentiis is on the cover of February's Redbook and inside she talks about the rumor that she spread her homemade pesto all over John Mayer's dicKKK and how she'll always be the perfect June Cleaver for her husband so his peen never wanders into the pussy of another. Since Giada is a TV star who makes millions of dollars, she puts on the apron when she gets home and makes sure to polish her husband's royal balls while polishing his shoes at the same time. And you wimmins out there better do the same! From HuffPo:

On the John Mayer rumor: "The John Mayer incident was completely unexpected. I was shocked. And not so much for me, but for my husband and family. . . Todd was embarassed that his family in Michigan would see it and think, What is going on over there in Hollywood?... What made it all even more surprising is that I haven't had any contact with John Mayer in three years. You know how you'll briefly get introduced to somebody? Maybe we chatted for five minutes, but I wouldn't consider that intimate.... I think the only things that could have possibly have tied us together is that we were at the same hotel that weekend in question--which, by the way, my husband was with me there as well."

On how she's into traditional husband and wife roles: "I think it can be hard for any man to sometimes be upstaged by his wife. So when I'm home, I work very hard to be Todd's wife and Jade's mother. I have no problem going back to those traditional roles. I try to be Giada, the young girl that he met 20 years ago and fell in love with. All men want to be treated like kings in a relationship, and I think if women don't indulge that sometimes, their men are likely to stray and look for someone who can give that to them."

I can't fuck with Giada's cooking show since her pronunciation of Italian recipes makes my ears wrinkle like the pepperoncinis in Olive Garden's bottomless salad. Mmmmm Olive Garden.

There's a few rumors and blind items about Giada's ho shit ways, so this is probably just her trying to keep the fresco of her as a perfect wife intact. If the blind items are true, then that fresco of Giada flashing her three rows of teeth while serving a pie don't show her side piece licking on her buns down below. Well played, Giada (not really).

Posted by: Michael K

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Giant Heads • Yeah Okay

Submitted by Wood Dragon on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 1:21pm.

I'd bet we got some eating disorder going on. She acts like she wants to puke every time she takes a minuscule bite of what ever she's made.

Submitted by Snarkley on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 9:04am.

Doth protest, Eh, Giada?

Submitted by stank on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 8:44am.

What's disturbing to me is that everyone on this thread knows who this bitch is.

Submitted by literarylioness on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 8:38am.

Submitted by beakers bitch on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 1:51am.
Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 9:36pm.
She was born in Italy, and is Italian, but it is annoying the way she has to enunciate every word in Italian. We get that you're Italian, Giada. Enough already. We're in America, we're not going to call it 'proSHOOOTO', we'll just call it 'bacon'.

I hate that, too. Especially since she talks normally with every other word except the Italian ones. "So we're just going to mix this together and then stir in the MUS-CA-PO-NAY cheese...."
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Yeah, she was born in Italy, but she came to the States when she was about a year old-that's why she has no Italian accent. Her being born in Italy is akin to Americans being born on the German base in Germany-doesn't mean much.

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:51am.

never trust a skinny chef.

Ina (as annoying as her teeth sucking can be) is the reigning queen, so bow Gia-Duh.

Submitted by bitchSpray on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 1:46am.

yeah okay, whatever. i want to know more about those 45 hot & sweet things to try with a guy
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http://bitchspray.tumblr.com (nsfw)

Submitted by Fraggle on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 12:23am.

I cannot stand this hobag. That plastic smile and her over usage of Italian food pronunciations makes me want to slap that toofy grin off her face from here to kingdom come.

I'm not violent. It's just a fantasy.

Sheesh.

Submitted by beakers bitch on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 12:21am.

Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 9:36pm.
She was born in Italy, and is Italian, but it is annoying the way she has to enunciate every word in Italian. We get that you're Italian, Giada. Enough already. We're in America, we're not going to call it 'proSHOOOTO', we'll just call it 'bacon'.

I hate that, too. Especially since she talks normally with every other word except the Italian ones. "So we're just going to mix this together and then stir in the MUS-CA-PO-NAY cheese...."

Submitted by literarylioness on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:39pm.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:02pm.
I remember that episode. I thought, either this dude is straight up autistic or he flat out ain't into her shit and ain't botherin' to pretend because he came across as appreciating it all even less than a wet fart in a crowded elevator. Dude's affect was flatter than Paris Hilton's ass....and I also get the comparison with Russell...although Russell gives me a creepy vibe...you know, the type to kill his wife rather than divorce her, but participate in the search and go on tv pleading for her safe return and shit....G's hubby? Not so much. I think she just annoys the fuck out of him or something, I don't know....that episode was beyond uncomfortable, though...
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OMG! What about their European episodes?! I remember the one in Paris where she brought them lunch and he looked at her like a dead roach, in Paris no less! The one in Greece was the same way. I think G's husband doesn't care and is in it for the money.

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:26pm.

ubmitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:48pm.
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:17pm.

Giada has never done anything for me. Ina Garten is the real Hot Slut of the Food Network (Sandra Lee is a close second) and bitches should recognize.
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ohman right on, word up, damned fuckin FTW! THISTHISTHIS!!! just orgasmed thnx xoxo!

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:17pm.

Submitted by Chirio on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 10:18pm.
WTF with this quote: " I try to be Giada, the young girl that he met 20 years ago and fell in love with. All men want to be treated like kings in a relationship, and I think if women don't indulge that sometimes, their men are likely to stray and look for someone who can give that to them."

STFU! what about women deserving to be treated as queens damn it?!!!!! MEN AND WOMEN CHEAT NO MATTER HOW YOU WILL TREAT THEM dumb dumb. Too much mozzarelllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaa in her head.
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And too much bulimia vom on her bref. She reminds me of the bulimic dance major in my college dorm suite -- the oversized, tight smile, the tension, the eagerness to cook big meals she insisted you try while she just taste-tested, and then watched you with hungry angry eyes smiling like a crackhead *shiver* But seriously, right on with your comment. FWIW every woman I've known that said some version of this shit without a hint of irony ends up dumped. Sounds like some 50's wifey advice column; go ahead "girls n' gals" (GUH! hatehatehate the word "gal"). Act like you're expendable and the human equivalent of leased cars, and that's exactly how you will be treated.

Submitted by Nell on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 10:43pm.

She is guilty. She would not address it if she did not feel forced to. I think King Todd pushed this. Very few people I know have heard the Giada/Mayer rumor. I read about it about just a week ago and I read more gossip than most of my friends.

The protruding stomach picture is very odd.

Submitted by Chirio on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 8:48pm.

WTF with this quote: " I try to be Giada, the young girl that he met 20 years ago and fell in love with. All men want to be treated like kings in a relationship, and I think if women don't indulge that sometimes, their men are likely to stray and look for someone who can give that to them."

STFU! what about women deserving to be treated as queens damn it?!!!!! MEN AND WOMEN CHEAT NO MATTER HOW YOU WILL TREAT THEM dumb dumb. Too much mozzarelllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaa in her head.

Coma Caca!
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Submitted by Chirio on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 8:42pm.

Her upper body is like a midget's! MUCH LOVE AND RESPECT TO THE MIDGETS! totally cool with them.

Coma Caca!
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Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 8:06pm.

She was born in Italy, and is Italian, but it is annoying the way she has to enunciate every word in Italian. We get that you're Italian, Giada. Enough already. We're in America, we're not going to call it 'proSHOOOTO', we'll just call it 'bacon'.

Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 8:02pm.

Submitted by gupster on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:05pm.

Redbook had to shrink down her GIANT HEAD in Photoshop to fit on this cover.
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Her head is ginormous! And, I know this is totally mean, but her baby has a big ass head, too. But Baby Jade is cute, though.

Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:58pm.

I like little woman bellies. There. I said it.

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by Morbidosity on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:52pm.

Someone needs a Spanx.

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:38pm.

I'd totally play hide the pepperoni with her.

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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:14pm.

Sooo hilarious, Michael K. A wonk eyed tweety bird?? Perrrrrrfect! Loved it!!

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:36pm.

Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:51pm.

Um, women also like to be treated well in a relationship, and are just as likely to stray. Just sayin'. Not all cheaters are men, and not all men are cheaters, FFS.

Send this bitch back to the fifties where she belongs.
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Fking THIS. Respect, loyalty, love. Not fucking "reminders" to not stray. WTF? If your dumb ass needs "reminding" not to stray, then your weak-ass self needs to grow some. Sick of this bullshit belief. That said, most of us aren't made for real devotion b/c we can't NOT be reminded. Thus, don't kid anyone by getting married.

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“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:21pm.

Um, women also like to be treated well in a relationship, and are just as likely to stray. Just sayin'. Not all cheaters are men, and not all men are cheaters, FFS.

Send this bitch back to the fifties where she belongs.

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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 6:18pm.

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 7:17pm.

Giada has never done anything for me. Ina Garten is the real Hot Slut of the Food Network (Sandra Lee is a close second) and bitches should recognize.
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My favorites are the Neelys and Paula Deen. I love southern food. And the Neelys are so cute together.

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:47pm.

Giada has never done anything for me. Ina Garten is the real Hot Slut of the Food Network (Sandra Lee is a close second) and bitches should recognize.

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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West

Submitted by sofster101 on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:32pm.

As long as he can also treat me like a queen...

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:32pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:00pm.
One day I was watching her show and she made a picnic to bring to her husband at work. She was trying to make it seem all romantic and he looked like miserable, like "Bitch, just let me get back to work!"

In retrospect, he reminded me of Russell from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She was twittering and cooing all around him, trying to be SuperWife and he was DONE with it.
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I remember that episode. I thought, either this dude is straight up autistic or he flat out ain't into her shit and ain't botherin' to pretend because he came across as appreciating it all even less than a wet fart in a crowded elevator. Dude's affect was flatter than Paris Hilton's ass....and I also get the comparison with Russell...although Russell gives me a creepy vibe...you know, the type to kill his wife rather than divorce her, but participate in the search and go on tv pleading for her safe return and shit....G's hubby? Not so much. I think she just annoys the fuck out of him or something, I don't know....that episode was beyond uncomfortable, though...

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Dolly_D on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:18pm.

Watching Food Network is like watching soft core porn to me. All that licking, beating, kneading...
Esp. that Nigella, she totally gets me hot and bothered.

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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman

Submitted by clairey claire on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 5:00pm.

I don't know who she is, but I like the fact that her belly hasn't been airbrushed. Good for a cook to have a little chunk, shows their food is tasty surely?

Plus, if she has been cheating on her husband, surely he would object to being used as a cover for her illicit liaisons? He would obviously know if he had been there at the hotel with her that weekend. She is either telling the truth, or he doesn't give a shit if she cheats.

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It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious

Submitted by zestyfuzz on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:57pm.

I totally think she is a liar but you can’t really blame her. The magazine asked her about John. What was she supposed to say? “Yup, I cheated on my husband. You have the exclusive here.” I think that last line was meant to be the opposite: “All women want to be treated like queens in a relationship, and I think if men don't indulge that sometimes, their women are likely to stray and look for someone who can give that to them." Maybe she is trying to tell her husband something.

I think she is a liar and the food network is starting to bother me with the way the female chefs dress. Does she really need to show off her cleavage while she cooks? I only watch the challenge shows on the food network now: Food Network Challenge and Chopped. The other shows are so boring.

Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:55pm.

BTW this totally reminds me of one of my best girlfriends whose in her early 20s. Moved in with her fiance, quit her job and is now a housewife....to the point where whenever were out and about, she has to be home by noon and dinnertime because she has to make his dinner or else he'll just starve himself until she makes him something.

She says he's good to her but he proposed to her, then they planned a wedding but then when the wedding was creeping around, he didnt' want it anymore. A year later and now he wants to plan a big wedding then move out of the country. It's sad to see her go from a strong independent woman to basically doing what he wants to do (she can't even go out with a girlfriend without asking for his permission).

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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K

Submitted by Vermithrax on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:52pm.

Tetas of glory.

Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:38pm.

A couple things;

1. I can't hate on her recipes!

2. What the flying fuck is up with this picture? She looks deformed...not right,..

3. Giada, newsflash, women can still treat their men like kings and the men will STILL cheat on them.

and

4. I totally lost interest in the food network over the years....a good majority of the female chefs try way too hard to be sexy. You're cooking in the kitchen, not fucking in the bedroom.

Submitted by moonmaid on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:36pm.

I have no idea if any of this is true or not, but what I do know is that my husband worked with her once on a show. She was a good chef, funny, extremely generous with camera time to him and sharp as a tack. She was also super nice to my daughter who was with my husband during one of the shooting days. Not flirtatious or slutty at all. He's worked with celebrity chefs who are total dicks but he said she was great. I have no problem ragging on people who are jerks, but I don't see her as the slutty lying type. Tabloids do get things wrong sometimes, don't they?

Submitted by TyInTenn on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:36pm.

She's about as plastic as my AMEX card.

Submitted by gupster on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:35pm.

Redbook had to shrink down her GIANT HEAD in Photoshop to fit on this cover.

Submitted by MagnificentChichis on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:35pm.

What a dumb bitch.

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:30pm.

*snort* at the "giant head" tag...
i think giada has a weird shaped body...her torso is long, she has short legs and her ass i low to the ground...and as for that husband of hers, he seems like a boring type of guy...
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i lift things up and put them down...

Submitted by CokeyBloke on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:07pm.

Yes! W/ comment about setting womens' rights waaaay back. Lawdy! Hate that. Why the fuck is that even relevant to her (self-created) argument, except that she's working overtime to soothe egos -- and not just Todd's. Probably all the male execs who are in charge of her contract renewal. Aaarrrgh!

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:00pm.

Submitted by Echo27:"...How dare she make it seem that infidelity is caused by wives who don't do (insert task) enough. Infidelity is caused by cheating assholes looking for pussy and/or dick away from home. "
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You know what would make me cheat if I was a husband? My wife banging other guys. Yup, that would definitely drive me into the arms of someone else faster than bland marinara and leftover meatballs.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:53pm.

what an asshole.
you are paid to cook ( if that's what you call it) not to spout your stupid total woman nonsense.

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We can make weapons out of these candy canes.
Go ahead, suck it til it's pointy.

Submitted by Lory on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:51pm.

Nice insect body, bitch! Well, I guess that if she ever gets fired from her shitty show she could pass as a queen bee and get all the honey and sex she wants...

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Let me dirty up your mind.

Submitted by elmo533 on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:47pm.

Submitted by ditquoi on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:29pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:16pm.
What in the long-torsoed fuck is wrong with her mid-section?

I was thinking the same thing...she's either really tall or has the dreaded long torso/short legs body type. whoever approved that photo should lose his/her job. a 3/4 profile would have hidden all that...including the pooch that although all women have, no women want emphasized on the cover of a national magazine. :P
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She has a weird body. She's short, with big boobs, short arms, and tiny hands. She kinda reminds me of a T-Rex.

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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK

Submitted by Naughychimp on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:47pm.

Echo27: How dare she make it seem that infidelity is caused by wives who don't do (insert task) enough... The people I know who have been cheated on were wonderful husbands and wives. They were just married to selfish jerkoffs.
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Exactly. I hated Giada before and now I hate her even more. If she'd said something like, "My husband and I try to treat each other beautifully" I would have agreed but this "Men need to be treated well so they don't feel like straying" BS is smack-worthy.

Submitted by saltydog88 on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:30pm.

I love her to death, she was like our unofficial 4th roommate in college cause we watched her every day after class and made a bunch of her recipes...all very tastey

Submitted by Inigo Jones on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:18pm.

Submitted by mharker on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 4:21pm.
Her grandfather was Dino De Laurentiis, who famously told a young Jodie Foster to "take off [her] jacket and turn around" as her audition for The Blue Lagoon.

I guess she refused or didn't get the part anyway?

Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:17pm.

Yeah, because no woman who's bowed and scraped to her man has ever been cheated on or unfulfilled. You should LIVE to fetch his slippers, dumb hos with your stupid little DREAMS and ASPIRATIONS and DIGNITY.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:10pm.

Becky in Sydney
I'm so glad everyone else hates her awful overly Italian pronunciations - I thought I was alone.
Oh, and she is a cunt.

Submitted by femguide on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 3:09pm.

What a ridiculous statement. She probably thinks she is catering to the opinion of what she believes most people think. Really, a lot of studies have shown that relationships where men and women have more equality are the healthiest and longest lasting.

** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **