Khloe With Child
Keep your dogs inside, try not to bleed when outdoors and hoist your food sack into the trees, because Khloe Kardashian will be on a rampage never seen before now that she's carrying a Knobby Jr. in her womb! Well, maybe. A source tells Page Six that even though the ASPCA has spiked the woodland creatures in Khloe's usual hunting grounds with birth control pills, her ovaries and Lamar Odom's jizz cannot be stopped.
The source says that Khloe wore a flowing gown to the People's Choice Awards last week, because she was trying to hide the evidence that she's knocked up. Another source said that the newest Kardashian's gestation period will be the main plot of Khloe's E! reality show with Lamar and that they "will be followed by the cameras through her pregnancy and as they have their first child."
You know, I'm not going to buy Big & Tall onesies for Khloe's baby until I see a foot hanging out of her sascrotch since that baby will be tall enough for the NBA by the time its 6-months-old. Actually, scratch that. Even that could be a publicity stunt produced by Kris Kardashian. I really won't believe it until I see video of Khloe eating the placenta seconds after giving birth.