Khloe With Child
Keep your dogs inside, try not to bleed when outdoors and hoist your food sack into the trees, because Khloe Kardashian will be on a rampage never seen before now that she's carrying a Knobby Jr. in her womb! Well, maybe. A source tells Page Six that even though the ASPCA has spiked the woodland creatures in Khloe's usual hunting grounds with birth control pills, her ovaries and Lamar Odom's jizz cannot be stopped.
The source says that Khloe wore a flowing gown to the People's Choice Awards last week, because she was trying to hide the evidence that she's knocked up. Another source said that the newest Kardashian's gestation period will be the main plot of Khloe's E! reality show with Lamar and that they "will be followed by the cameras through her pregnancy and as they have their first child."
You know, I'm not going to buy Big & Tall onesies for Khloe's baby until I see a foot hanging out of her sascrotch since that baby will be tall enough for the NBA by the time its 6-months-old. Actually, scratch that. Even that could be a publicity stunt produced by Kris Kardashian. I really won't believe it until I see video of Khloe eating the placenta seconds after giving birth.
• 
I picture Khloe to have a "wide flow, and a heavy-set vagina".
I mentioned this last week when this picture first came out...She's pregnant and it's for the show...way to go Seacrust....just what we need...more KKKKards on TV. Make it STOP!
Bullshit. She's just fat (Although I'd love it if she was pregnant and Yeti Jr somehow ends up getting switched at the hospital with Lala Beckham).
**********
Shiitake happens...
I think,in spite of the over the top wedding,and short as hell courtship, that these two love each other. Call me a sap, a romantic, whatever, but I think they might last more than five years.
Because let's face it, 5 years is a lifetime in Hollywood.
***********************************************
And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
"
Becky in Sydney
I spelt magazine wrong - sorry - should learn to edit
Becky in Sydney
It is going to be hell for the staff at People Magaine having to photoshop all that hair off the baby.
I was just thinking...isn't Phil Jackson all Zen Buddhist and shit?
I can't imagine he's pleased over Lamar's antics on Cunting Up With the Kardassians.
Let's say Lamar was traded to hmmmmm....Detroit, for the remainder of his career.
Will Khloe stay with him till death do us part in DETROIT for 10 years?!
I predict another Kendra.
________________________________
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
I didn't know this Sasquatch even had a uterus!
Does this mean the Today Show will have a new pregnant dude to interview?
That baby is going to look like a giant Sloth-looking mutant!
--------------------------------------
"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
If we're gonna be mad at the celebs who whore out their children, who's there left to like?
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
This will be the first baby in history f-ed up at conception.
********************************************
I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
parissucksliterally on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:08am.
angel, it IS! I swear, whenever I comment on FB, I get screamed at by those ladies.
***********************************
They were mean to me to so I'm totally with you on that!
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
And another thing. we all know that Khloe has been trying to get pregnant for a while now...but it is also so that she gets a spin-off and a storyline for a spin-off. SO when she does get pregnant, How does she explain to her baby that the reason it was born was so that she and daddy can get a spin off on E! ?
No i dont believe at all that this beefalo is knocked up, they always want us to think that. She is always just fat, these pregnancy rumors have been going on since she found someone to mate with. AND...no pregnant woman would go through a hair lightening/dying process (especially a 2 day event) if they were in their first trimester...any pregnant wildebeast would know you stay away from such harsh chemicals
I think it's interesting some folks like Khloe because they say she's "real" and least like her sisters. Come again? Whoring out your baby before it's even born? Mamapimp Kris must be so proud-bball husband, pregnant, and her own reality show. She must've orgasmed at the thought of this.
Needless to say-I hate these hos.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
"I won't work my looks no more..."
doesn't Lamar have his own child army before marrying this nut case?? Also, what makes her think he will be that damn loyal??? And what the hell is Lamar doing marrying and impregnanting this media whore??? And why would you color your hair if you are preggers..esp. lighter?? I thought she looked preggers but shuddered in fear at the mere thought of it. Sads....is 2012 here already???
Submitted by howdareyou on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 12:14pm.
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:20am.
Those quotes from Liza Morales almost sound classy. I just can't think highly of a woman who had THREE children with a man she calls a commitment-phobe. Children should have a commitment from both of their parents, whether the parents can or will commit to each other or not. Maybe she meant "marriage-phobe," since if you have one kid and the father refuses to commit himself to parenthood, you're a dumbass for having 2 more with him.
*********************************
I agree with you. Lamar had her on human layaway. What makes it sadder is that he and Liza lost their 3rd child:
"On 29 June 2006, Odom's 6½-month-old infant son Jayden died from SIDS while sleeping in his crib in New York."
I think the show is going to be called" the MAGILLA GORILLA SHOW"
I just read over at celebitchy (so take it with a grain of salt) that the youngest sisters Kendall and Kylie may get a reality show...
I would watch your show, AlohaGirl.
.
.
.
**************************
park 5 blocks away and tiptoe up to your place like a stealth lesbininja
Looking at her face makes me wonder if there is going to be an entire generation of children who grow up not knowing what a smile looks like. You see the lips pull back, but the eyes are just dead. That has got to have some kind of effect on a person's emotional development. Even here in Maine, most women in business, entertainment and the media are now doing Botox.
.
.
.
**************************
park 5 blocks away and tiptoe up to your place like a stealth lesbininja
"because yer obviously very fat"
--------------------------------------------------
I take offense at the notion that being fat equals being unattractive/good-looking....
Take That ASuckandFuck!
"because yer obviously very fat"
--------------------------------------------------
I take offense at the notion that being fat equals being unattractive/good-looking....
Take That ASuckandFuck!
"because yer obviously very fat"
--------------------------------------------------
I take offense at the notion that being fat equals being unattractive/good-looking....
Take That ASuckandFuck!
Well at least Khloe has somewhat of the body type to withstand a Lamar-atized fetus. Kendra's body got bitch-boom-banged because Hank's DNA is too tall for her 5 foot frame.
I can't with those bitches. I think a lot of them are very young and insecure, so they talk about people like Khloe as if they are great beauties to make themselves feel better. They also seem to believe being a feminist means only saying positive things even about bottom feeders like the Kardashians. TrollPatrol is the best part of that site. You get to see them act like a bunch of snitches. "I feel (they don't think, they feel) like this comment is body snark. Please get rid of it because it gives me the sads!" Toughen up, faggots.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:01am.
Breaky, that made me crack up!
OMG, I went over to Jezebel.com and everyone there is being so nice about this pregnancy! Some women called Khloe's hair "Stunning".
I am telling you, THAT is where all the fat, ugly women post.
Submitted by AlohaGirl on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 12:58pm.
Since I am reasonably good-looking on top of this drama, it prompts me to ask the following question:WHY OH WHY do I not have a reality TV deal????
----------------------------------------------------
because yer obviously very fat
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.... I marry Dude #1 who turns to snake handling and speaking in tongues bc my "lack of spirituality" is hurting his sensibilities. Follows a divorce. I fall for Dude #2who sweeps me off my feet and the morning after I have sex with him, I am confronted by another woman while being butt naked in his shower. End of that story. I then take up with another woman bc I have had it with dudes, only to have her sue me after I break up with her bc she wants me to continue supporting her while her 32-year-old ass goes back to school...I go give dude #2 another try bc he works hard at convincing me he has changed only to meet his GF over dinner one night and have the both of them tell me they want to have a 3some with me...
Since I am reasonably good-looking on top of this drama, it prompts me to ask the following question:WHY OH WHY do I not have a reality TV deal????
I mean, seriously! If these self-important woodland creatures can many 100s of 1000s of $$$ with their BS, why can I????
There seems to be no way these two will make a half way decent looking child, but a remember your algebra: a negative times a negative equals a positive. Are rating down on that show? Last time they were that other kardashian got pregnant.
----------------------------------
Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
LALALALALALAKardassiansWON'T LOOK LALALALALA
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
You typed sascrotch, that shit was funny.
Yay babies!!!!
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:20am.
Those quotes from Liza Morales almost sound classy. I just can't think highly of a woman who had THREE children with a man she calls a commitment-phobe. Children should have a commitment from both of their parents, whether the parents can or will commit to each other or not. Maybe she meant "marriage-phobe," since if you have one kid and the father refuses to commit himself to parenthood, you're a dumbass for having 2 more with him.
Lamar and Khloe are both fugly inside and out, so the baby has no hope of being anything other than the sum of their parts. No one in this family should be breeding; they're all too narcissistic to have anything more than a goldfish (cracker) to be responsible for.
___________________________
"TISSUE, PLEEEEAZE!"
Submitted by Datura on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:52am.
Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:41am.
I was watching the kkk e true Hollywood story and khloe is so not Roberts daughter she taller than him and the mother
------------------------------------
I'd believe that. Someone posted childhood pictures of Khloe, Kim, and that other sister What's-Her-Face, and Khloe looked like a total genetic outlier.
___________________________________________________________
I've always said:
Kourtney = gardener's kid
Kim = pool boy's kid
Khloe = mailman's kid
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:01am.
Breaky, that made me crack up!
OMG, I went over to Jezebel.com and everyone there is being so nice about this pregnancy! Some women called Khloe's hair "Stunning".
I am telling you, THAT is where all the fat, ugly women post.
____________________________________________________________
They're very PC and feminist over there. I say, why can't you call a skank a skank? That doesn't make you a traitor to your gender. All women aren't good women. Some are whores, golddiggers, selfish twats, dumb dummies, etc.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:41am.
I was watching the kkk e true Hollywood story and khloe is so not Roberts daughter she taller than him and the mother
------------------------------------
I'd believe that. Someone posted childhood pictures of Khloe, Kim, and that other sister What's-Her-Face, and Khloe looked like a total genetic outlier.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
I fear they conceived just to remain reality show relevant. Yes, I believe they're that vapid. Hope these two 'nots' make a 'hot'.
And what's with the athletes jumping on the fame whore bandwagon? Lamar, the dumbass married to Kendra, Ochocinco, the dumbass that knocked up Kim Zolciak...what's is up with that? Don't their jobs bring enough attention? Narcisisstic Personality Disorder run amok!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:41am.
I was watching the kkk e true Hollywood story and khloe is so not Roberts daughter she taller than him and the mother
------------------------------------
why do these tarts even have a E true Hollwood Story?
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
ITA with ISMU and Datura. Scott "the S is silent" Disick is totally sinister.
I was watching the kkk e true Hollywood story and khloe is so not Roberts daughter she taller than him and the mother
I figured she must be pregnant. Or an extremely bad spokesperson for the diet pills she and her sisters were hocking. Her and Lamar have no business breeding though. Poor unborn probably fug baby. Also doesn't he have a bunch of other kids? I'm sick of these men hopping from woman to woman starting a new family with each of them. Hey assholes, parenting isn't a fucking game.
Ladies, it is a complete CRAPSHOOT to get pregnant in order to force a marriage. Sometimes they marry you, sometimes they don't. If you are trying to trap a man, it is 100% more effective to get married FIRST.
If he's such a great guy, he'll want to do it the right way. A guy who can't commit to marriage and a life together is going to be a shitty dad.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 10:15am.
Even though Lamar looks like the retarded kid the Kardashian family adopted, he's way better than the dude the other sister had a kid with- the one who looks like he'll roofie anything with fuckparts and sodomize it with a grin on his face.
------------------------------------
That's the best description of the sister's creepy husband that I've ever read. He totally has that sadistic sociopath flavour about him.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 10:45am.
You know Chewbacca isn't happy with this. He's pissed he spawned her and now she's having his grandwookie???????
LOL that is fucking funny - Chewbacca is going to be a grandpa!
Someone needs to take her to the vet and have her fixed, or she will have litter after litter.
LOL at "sascrotch"
ARGH!!!! I can't stand these fuckin' women. CAN'T STAND THEM!!! And I fuckin' blame fuckin' Ryan "In the Closet" Seacrest for producing this bitches and putting them in our fuckin' faces EVERY FUCKIN' DAY!!!
Oh Michael K, you really messed with my Monday. *LOL*
So now this cunt is knocked up by a basketball player who wants more attention than playing b-ball? I never bought their marriage or anything. This is worse than having a baby for a welfare check. I hope they lose all their money from the credit-card scam lawsuit!!! I'm going to burn a candle to pray for that.
I dont' care if these bitches get pregnant. You know, having a baby use to be special... now every two bit whore and no-talented skank is having a baby for attention. and not ONE of those Kunt-dasian sister does anything. They just take pictures at events. Ugh.
I'm sick of it all!!!
Okay, I'm done. *LOL*
____________________________________________________________
"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
damn yetis will eat their young
cause its the nature of the animal kingdom
so says mutual of omaha
and steve irwin
and natgeo
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
That baby is going to look like a giant Mounds bar.
Lamar is a jerk:
Morales said: “I’ll never forget receiving that text, it simply read ‘Getting married soon – want the kids to meet my future wife’. I’ve known Lamar for 15 years and we had three children together and he was always a real commitment-phobe so finding out that he was marrying Khloe Kardashian so soon was a bombshell to say the least.”
Morales, who split up with Odom two years ago, said the pair are in constant contact and that while she moved back to New York to have her family’s support during a tough time, she wished him well.
She said in a RadarOnline exclusive: “I just hope that he has found true love now and that he has got married for the right reasons – not for Hollywood, publicity, money or fame. Lamar is basically a good guy who is very charismatic but he didn’t treat me well with regard to this marriage. I don’t know Khloe Kardashian, so I can’t really comment on her and all that is important to me is my kids.
You never know... maybe two ugly parents will make an incredibly attractive baby. Two wrongs sometimes do make a right.
Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 11:11am.
And why do some men who are with their baby mama for years and years end up marrying someone they know for like a hot minute? That happened to one of my friends recently. What are they trying to prove?
simple, because they like their baby's mama but not enough to marry her.
Submitted by cake coke and cock on Mon, 01/10/2011 - 10:53am.
Yeah well, let's be totally frank here; They love each other because they've known each other for a year or two. (remember that wonderfully deceiving first love?) But when they realize the sex really isn't all that grand, and start wondering where all their hopes and dreams went to, and the baby starts waking them up in the middle of the night... where will their smiles, love, and Khloe's egregious "baby voice" be then?
And yes, I'm bitter, cold, and hardly human anymore.
TROOOOOOOOOO DAT.
don't forget the post-baby bod :P