"That's Not Aretha!"
The flame burning from my Saint Bea candle has been sending smoky clouds of good thoughts towards Aretha Franklin ever since I learned that she's down and out in Detroit. Aretha underwent a mystery surgery for a mystery condition last month and some people claimed she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Aretha refused to comment on those rumors then and she's refusing to comment on that shit now. Ask Aretha about it and the question mark over your head will be replaced with stars when she knocks you out with one of her powerhouse chichis.
Aretha admitted to Jet (via People) that she had a CAT-scan and colonoscopy after suffering a pain to her side. The CAT-scan showed what the problem was, but Aretha wouldn't say anything more than that. When Jet asked her about the cancer rumors, Aretha got real:
“I am not one to do a lot of talking about my personal health or business. Not too much, not too much. There are a lot of people who will talk about anything, as long as there is somebody listening. But I am not one of those people. That’s not Aretha.
I am not going to even deal with that. I don’t have to talk about my health with anybody other than my doctors. The problem has been resolved.
I want to thank my fans and friends and supporters who have prayed for me and sent me beautiful cards and flowers."
"That's Not Aretha" is totally the new "Not the One."
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That looks too quick even for bypass. I hope she really is ok. I mean, she's a diva. Can you see her working out? Lightly but not hardcore enough to drop that kind of weight that quick--even with a bypass. Maybe she's a closet workout freak. Who knows!
Submitted by Vern on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 9:27am.
True, true. He gave Aretha the rights to sing "Until You Come Back To Me" for example. Aretha version is good, but Stevie's blows her out the water. Stevie is definitely no male version of Aretha.
Good for her--she's absolutely right that she doesn't have to discuss her health with anyone other than her doctors. In a time long, long ago, there was a now long-forgotten concept called "personal privacy" and women aspired to have their name in the news only twice in their lives, their wedding announcement and their obituary.
Aretha is real, yo. She can do what ever the eff she wants.
"You cross me again Rosie & I'll make a handbag out of you."
*Smacks juniper jump on cute little YOUNG ASS*
Stevie Wonder has written more great songs than you can count-he gives them to other artists.
Now stay offa my lawn!
*chanting as always*
I know you lose a lot of weight with a gastric bypass but come on - didn't we just have pictures of her a few months ago at least a hundred pounds heavier? So perhaps gastric bypass AND sucking out half of her.
And what's with all the preciousness about the woman? She had a marvelous voice in the 60s and did a few decent things in the 80s but has done nothing for years other than screech like a cat in heat for every song. Incredibly wasteful of talent. Basically the female version of Stevie Wonder - who also hasn't done anything worth a penny for years either.
TexN: Thanks for the awesome link. Good way to start my day, watching my toddler sway to Aretha.
It's pretty ghoulish that paps are asking her if she has cancer. Fuck them.
Also, I love the Snickers commercial with Aretha in the car with the hipsters. Cracks my shit up every damn time.
This will be the first time that I actually buy a JET magazine.
This song gives me chills
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWR4kyaLvXY
There are a lot of people who will talk about anything, as long as there is somebody listening. But I am not one of those people. That’s not Aretha.”
I have to agree with the Queen of Soul. You get the likes of Goop talking about her post pregnancy depression at a time when she needs to hawk something --like her movie.
I'm glad she is feeling much better and looking better. Love that she is still doing her thing touring. I hope to get to see her in a show when she does NYC.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
i'm anxiously awaiting for this issue of "jet", so i can read the inspiring words of queen re re...
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i lift things up and put them down...
Wow, did she drop a hundred or so pounds. The Queen looks great!! Prayers to this hot bitch.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me.
Love you, Aretha. Make my light shine forth.
<"Submitted by mcnightmare on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 11:18pm.">
1:33 in that video. I could listen to it a thousand times over. And those eyes during that live performance. A treasure.
ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!
That is one business savy woman. Who the hell would sign her for a show more than a few months out if she did have cancer? Especially pancreatic cancer.
Leave 'em wanting more...
~*Lets go to my room pig!*~
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 10:01pm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STKkWj2WpWM
My favorite Aretha. I'm really sick of the fat pictures, especially if these are her last days.
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TexnDoc, that video gave me shivers, chills - love that arrangement of the song, and those harmonies are diVINE. thanks for posting.
i am 100% in agreement about the fat pics - here is one of aretha that is FINE as HELL:
http://www.eurweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/aretha_franklin.jpg
you will hail the Queen.
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http://alisoncecilejohns.bandcamp.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/pomloplum?feature=mhum
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 7:44pm.
♫I'll have to rap on your door, tap on your window pane
I'm gonna camp by your steps
until I get through to you
change your view
'til you come back to me that's what I'm gonna do
'til you come back to me that's what I'm gonna do
♫♪♫
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A song for stalkers. j/k
Classic Aretha.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl7o7eZjLC4&feature=related
Hope she takes care of herself now.
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STKkWj2WpWM
My favorite Aretha. I'm really sick of the fat pictures, especially if these are her last days.
And I know you aren't kidding with the Bea candle. I want one - probably the scent is something 70s - Jean Nate?
Well it sounds like Aretha is back to her old self - good for her! She has all my good wishes.
Man, if she told me to shut it, I would shut it immediately, and keep it shut. I probably would never speak again.
When she says, "No comment", kids, it is time to change the fucking subject.
DON'T FUCK WITH ARETHA
ETA: I don't think that is "a recent" picture of "Aretha".
Aw, Aretha Franklin. A lady til the end of time. I think she definitely doesn't have pancreatic cancer though because that shit is almost always fatal and incurable if not caught at the earliest stages (and once you start feeling pain, it is already too late) so it's good that whatever was going on is done for now. I say a little prayer for Aretha.
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Seymour: What are we, in slow motion here? C'mon, what are you, hypnotized? Have some more kids, why don't you.
I love that bitch's shoes. I'm serious. Those are some cute shoes.
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 7:44pm.
♫I'll have to rap on your door, tap on your window pane
I'm gonna camp by your steps
until I get through to you
change your view
'til you come back to me that's what I'm gonna do
'til you come back to me that's what I'm gonna do
♫♪♫
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did you know Stevie Wonder wrote that song for Aretha?
(check out my new album "Come Back as a Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder", i'll be here all night, try the veal).
seriously, whatever is wrong with her, whatever she had done, who-so-ever to blame, i just hope for a full recovery that leads to better health and a longer life for this woman.
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http://alisoncecilejohns.bandcamp.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/pomloplum?feature=mhum
Yeah...I'd be keeping "I got so fat I almost died" to myself as well.
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
“I am not one to do a lot of talking about my personal health or business. Not too much, not too much. There are a lot of people who will talk about anything, as long as there is somebody listening. But I am not one of those people. That’s not Aretha.
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Something the Kardashians, Tilas, and Raz B's of the world should listen to.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Submitted by Dolly_D on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 8:21pm.
She had gastric bypass. She needed to as she was morbidly obese.
Pancreatic cancer usually is detected when a person drops weight drastically. (Patrick Swayze lost 20 pounds in a month before they detected it) This didn't happen to Aretha.
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Aretha has been working on losing weight for a while now so it's possible she lost weight naturally or got the gastric bypass and they found the pacreatic cancer after she lost weight due to the bypass. Peopld don't lose weight this quickly after having bypass she would have had it done months ago.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
She had gastric bypass. She needed to as she was morbidly obese.
Pancreatic cancer usually is detected when a person drops weight drastically. (Patrick Swayze lost 20 pounds in a month before they detected it) This didn't happen to Aretha.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
she's a old lady, they wear stockings with everything.
she's a old lady, they wear stockings with everything.
I love her attitude
♫I'll have to rap on your door, tap on your window pane
I'm gonna camp by your steps
until I get through to you
change your view
'til you come back to me that's what I'm gonna do
'til you come back to me that's what I'm gonna do
♫♪♫
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor
Glad she's doing so much better, and glad to see that apparantly whatever is (was) wrong isn't pancreatic cancer....certainly doesn't sound like it anyway.
LOVE her response regarding discussing her health!
Keep on feeling better, Aretha!
glad re re is on the mend, but i'm so mad at those stockings...
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
I just got chills after reading her quote, "that's not Aretha."
I want to curl up and ask her advice on all of life's woes.
Is that a recent pic? Wow, she lost a lot of weight. "That's not Aretha." Gotta love folks who refer to themselves in the third person. LOL But, hey, she earned the right to do so.
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"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
She's lost SO much weight - looks good, and hope it's not due to being too sick.
Glad Ree is still the head diva in charge, but wondering what's up. Did her doc say you're a fat fatty and your major organs are ready to quit this bitch? Maybe that's why she doesn't wanna discuss it. As if we haven't noticed she's a fat fatty.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by Inigo Jones on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 6:27pm.
An undigested pizza box?
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Aahahaha..*guilty*
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Osez Joséphine
I'm guessing Gastric Bypass Surgery, either that or she stopped eating KFC for one of her 14 daily meals.
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Shiitake happens...
Whatever, I still think she had some sort of lap-band surgery. When Aretha shows up looking like half of her former self (or half of one her chi-chi's)don't say I didn't tell you so.
"No One Makes Me Bleed My Own Blood!"
She is right (of course), it is not our business how she managed to lose half herself. She is fabulous in my mind.
Aretha said, "I don’t have to talk about my health with anybody other than my doctors."
A-freakin-men. Of course I am curious about celebs' lives, or else I wouldn't come to this site, but I love Aretha's myob answer.
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Earth tones and neutrals can get out of my way.
Submitted by TexnDoc on 12/05/2010
If that's a recent picture, she looks great. (Decent looking hat - That's not Aretha.)
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Currently: Lamictal, Cymbalta, Klonopin.
Sucky's dream woman. He loves moose.
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Grow your own dope: plant a man.
Uh, that's not Aretha because she's not hanging off the side of the Empire State Building with an airplane in her paw.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
"The problem has been resolved."
::cough cough:: Gastric bypass. :cough cough::
"Sacred cows make the best hamburger." - Mark Twain
Cindyloo me too and everyone was all DON'T TALK BAD ABOUT THE QUEEN!
but MAYBE she just lost alooooot of weight due to being ill, it could be the best thing that happened to her! That's what my sister said about the time she had malaria, LOL
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Poo in the bedroom kinda seems like a dealbreaker
"NOTHING will EVER stop me from my know-it-all antics!" Stoney
Go Aretha! Do your thing, Miss Franklin.
An undigested pizza box?
Holy crap, she did lose a ton of weight. She's very talented and still working, so I say she has a free pass to say stupid shit and wear ridiculous clothes.
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"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."
My first thought was; gastric bypass surgery.
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."