Fag In The Mouth, Meg In The Hand

For some bizarrely strange reason unknown to everybody including me, I've been following Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp's every single move as a dusty new couple, so here they are holding hands while going to the Whitney Museum and a restaurant in NYC today. My therapist would probably say this is my way of holding onto the 90s with both hands since my life was so uncomplicated back then. It's true. The most complicated thing I had to worry about back then was how to get home from a rave after my friend's left me staring at a bunny sticker on the bathroom wall for 4 hours right. Yes, illegal drugs were involved.

Anyway, here's to Meg and John: 2011's GREATEST COUPLE (not really). Well, they're the year's greatest couple unless Goober comes out with a peanut butter and Fluff swirl. But until then, Meg and the miniature Harry Hamlin need to bask in this shit!

Bauer Griffin

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by boston61 on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 9:03am.

They are perfect together. I hope it lasts. Two creative souls. Why he married that boring model I will never know.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 8:54am.

Hasn't John already had one scare with cancer? I mean...he's been smoking like a chimney for 30 years!

Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 6:24am.

i have no feelings about this coupling either way...they probably compare stories about how hot "they were back in the 80's and where did it all go?"
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10

Submitted by LisaRose on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 5:05am.

This coupling has me mesmerized too. It seems SO unlikely. Unless she smokes too, he must taste like old leather mixed with a chimney.

________________
I Love You More
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Submitted by clutching-at-straws on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 4:43am.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek
Don Johnson... A vain, narcisistic nincompoop.

Ick. For real. Speaking of Don Johnson: If you play Six Degrees of Plastic Surgery Gone Terribly Wrong you can get to to his ex, Melanie Griffith pretty quickly. Can you imagine a picture of her and Meg together? Yikes. They must've had the same doctor.

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 4:10am.

Is John a homosexual? The reason we ask is that, since Meg was said to be boinking homosexual Dennis Quaid, it would seem that Meg is a 'fag-hag' - a fish who enjoys boinking queens.

Discuss.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 3:50am.

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:51pm.
No way Joe is Meg that tall!! She is the same size as Billy Crystal who is an elf about 5'3". Both Meg and Johnny Cougar are midgets!!
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She claims to be 5'8" - maybe she's adding an inch on - but she ain't no midget. She looks very diminutive I think because she has a tiny frame. Notice she's always wearing flat-heeled boots with CougarHead and he's got lifts and they're about the same height.

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 12:47am.

With all that money she has can't she get a stylist to dress her, and a hairstylist to change that dreadful dry hair with all those split ends. Instead she got that nasty plastic surgery..ughh She used to be so sexy..WTF??

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 11:30pm.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:17pm.
When Hairy met Silly.
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outstanding!

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:57pm.

It's a'ight, MK. I'm strangely fascinated by these old boomer mofos myself.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:51pm.

I kinda like this couple, can't help it. Who knows, Elaine Erwin is still gorgeous...maybe she was the one who tired of him first?

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:50pm.

"Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:04pm.
Somewhat odd, but not as bizarre as Barbra Streisand and Don Johnson.

Oops, too ancient for most peeps to member."

Unfortunately I remember it as if it were yesterday. Never mind him falling for Babs - she is after all awesome in every way - but how about Babs falling for him???!!! A vain, narcisistic nincompoop. Never got that.
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That's cuz Babs has ugly-woman syndrome, where she can't believe a hot guy is doing her ass.

Submitted by Falmouth on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:50pm.

Submitted by moonmaid on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 12:03am.
She's probably buying him cartons of Camels and suggesting a quickie wedding to Vegas.

"Baby, you look good with a smoke in your mouth. More rugged. Taller."

* * * * * *
And here we have that splendid family
I never ran to when I got depressed,
The boys all biceps and the girls all chest

Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:49pm.

This is so funny.

So, I googled Meg Ryan's face...to see if I could find out what the fuck happened to it. People are SO fucking....

"We ran into Meg Ryan('s face) at Cannes today..."

"Meg Ryan and her face were showing off her cozy Martha Vineyard's home last week..."

"We caught a glimpse of Meg Ryan and her face shopping at Bristol Farms..."

Nobody knows. Between all that are a bunch of articles about how she's not afraid of aging. Ha!

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:34pm.

Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:07pm.

"Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:04pm.
Somewhat odd, but not as bizarre as Barbra Streisand and Don Johnson.

Oops, too ancient for most peeps to member."

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Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by moonmaid on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:33pm.

@clutching-at-straws - "cougars 1.0" - hah!
@falmouth - you have a good point. She's probably buying him cartons of Camels and suggesting a quickie wedding to Vegas.

Submitted by Dolly_D on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:21pm.

Now I have "Little Pink Houses" playing in my head.

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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman

Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:49pm.

Scandalous ass.

...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...

Submitted by Falmouth on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:44pm.

She might be smarter than we think. John's gotta be in the top 30 or so in the celeb death pool. Lots of royalties, touring income, greatest hits. Marry him, don't sign no prenup, put up with a bit of Camel-mouth and teasing, then cash in.

* * * * * *
And here we have that splendid family
I never ran to when I got depressed,
The boys all biceps and the girls all chest

Submitted by literarylioness on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:37pm.

How many heart attacks does Mellencamp need before he quits smoking?

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:35pm.

Barbara Stanwyck was with Robert Wagner for about 4 years when he was 21, and she was 42.

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How many times do I have to say to get away, get gone
-Fiona Apple

Submitted by clutching-at-straws on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:30pm.

Submitted by moonmaid on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:02pm.
Babs and Andre Agassi! (remember the "he's very evolved" comment?)

Holy Shit, I'd totally forgotten about Babs and Agassi. LOL. That really did happen. Just like Victoria Principal and Andy Gibb. Cougars 1.0.

Submitted by Crystal Lynn on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:26pm.

Her clothes are dreadful. Boyish is the nicest word I can come up with. Her neck is always covered which means either two things - old old lady neck or bad surgery. Im sure both. These two are really ranking high on the tacky meter with this relationship going public, I think.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:14pm.

Hi Nitty love!

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How many times do I have to say to get away, get gone
-Fiona Apple

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:08pm.

LOL, PSL! Nicopeen!

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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:02pm.

smoking is def a deal breaker for me. No way am I putting my mouth on an ashtray mouth or a nicopeen.

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How many times do I have to say to get away, get gone
-Fiona Apple

Submitted by sushi on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:59pm.

As I said before, you have to love a man who can fuck that plastic face. Not that he's any prize, but men are typically not going in that direction when they can still attract hot blondes.

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:56pm.

Thanks, Precious! Your kind thoughts are appreciated. Not sure what Slutty's up to tonight but I'll let her know you asked after her.

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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:51pm.

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:52pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:46pm.

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:38pm.

He's SMOKING??

Smoking is so hard to quit! I just quit one week ago and if it wasn't for the patch I think I would have went postal in a McDonalds by now.
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Don't you love people who just assume an addiction is just something you laugh at one day after you have something stressful happen in your life?
Keep strong, Bruddah.
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I DO laugh at smoking! I point my finger at it mockingly, too! (If I don't, I'll cry…)

Where is Sluttsville when we need him/her?

_________________________
Oh, I
Could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:47pm.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:46pm.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:38pm.

He's SMOKING??

Smoking is so hard to quit! I just quit one week ago and if it wasn't for the patch I think I would have went postal in a McDonalds by now.
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But he quit ten years ago or more!!

I know it's hard--I did it a long lifetime ago, and that's exactly why I will never, EVER go back. *teeth chatter* Nosiree, not doin' THAT a second time. I recommend Twizzlers for those weak moments. (Oh, and congratulations.)

_________________________
Oh, I
Could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore

Submitted by Secret Original on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:34pm.

When she keeps her head down, at a certain angle, she kind of looks like Meg Ryan.

Submitted by moonmaid on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:32pm.

Hysteria - I get the Babs/DJ reference, and can do you one better - not as bad as Babs and Andre Agassi! (remember the "he's very evolved" comment?)

My favorite comment here is "When Meemaw met Peepaw."

But I'm with Dr. Dick - I like these two as a couple also, for some strange reason. It's the completely unexpected she's-aging-with-bad-plastic-surgery-and--his-ex-wife-is-younger-and-still-hot factor.

But I think Meg is trading down here if she is going out with a smoker - blech!

Hey, did anyone notice he lost his "walking cane?"

Submitted by Thamar on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:16pm.

"As with virtually anything else in life, there is a time an place for sunglasses. There are obviously those that could use a little help on the subject.

"Here are just a few of the occasions in which sunglasses should be left in the car.

"Wearing sunglasses indoors anywhere is almost always not appropriate. If you have a medical condition causing sensitivity to artificial lights, you may be excused from this rule.

"To everyone else that insists on wearing shades indoors, you should know something crucial. The rest of us are watching you, waiting for you to walk into a wall or trip over a chair.

"Again, you may think you look cool, but just about everyone else will think you're drunk or trying to cover up a black eye.

http://www.talewins.com/sunglasses/index.htm

Submitted by Roca_Roja on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:57pm.

Somewhere, Elaine Irwin has got to be laughing her still-gorgeous ass off.

Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:54pm.

Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:07pm.
1. Mega-hugs to Hysteria....havent't seen you in ages!
2. I rememnber that unholy union. Then Babs ran to James Brolin because she was the only living person who actually bought a ticket to see "THE CAR" hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
__________________________________

Hey Mr. M!! Great to see ya! I've been unfortunately busy with real life stuff. But I can't stay away for tooo long. Hope you're well ;D

"The Car" .... pffffBWAhahaahahaaaa. Forgot about that mess!
.
.

Submitted by super-ette on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:41pm.

What if she gets pregnant with one of those "change of life" babies? Good lawd, that would a total freak show.

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:41pm.

Wow..John COUGAR is taller than Mega JOker Mouf?
Okay, I'm just being bitchy now..but seriously..didn't think he was taller than a 5th grader.

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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois

Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:38pm.

Holy hell, she's a hot mess!

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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K

Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:37pm.

Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:04pm.
Somewhat odd, but not as bizarre as Barbra Streisand and Don Johnson.

Oops, too ancient for most peeps to member.
.
______________________________________________

1. Mega-hugs to Hysteria....havent't seen you in ages!
2. I rememnber that unholy union. Then Babs ran to James Brolin because she was the only living person who actually bought a ticket to see "THE CAR" hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:36pm.

CSG, you need a longer handle on that spoon. I think you're getting a little shit on your sleeves..hahahahaha

Hysteria..Oy!! I totally had forgotten that!! *gasp*gawk*flail
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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois

Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:34pm.

Somewhat odd, but not as bizarre as Barbra Streisand and Don Johnson.

Oops, too ancient for most peeps to member.
.
.

Submitted by justaguest on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:31pm.

I miss the 90's, life was so easier and simpler then.

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:25pm.

Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:52pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:46pm.

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 8:38pm.

He's SMOKING??

Smoking is so hard to quit! I just quit one week ago and if it wasn't for the patch I think I would have went postal in a McDonalds by now.
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*Hands Mani a pack of Cinnamon Toothpicks. Don't have the blow out at McD's. Do like I did and wait till you're in a really sedate environment with a complete and utter bitch receptionist/billing person at the dentist office. The ambiance does a complete 180 and suddenly the elevator music in the background, along with the distant sound of the drill just becomes sinister.
Don't you love people who just assume an addiction is just something you laugh at one day after you have something stressful happen in your life?
Keep strong, Bruddah.

_______________________________
*Yanks electronic ciggie from NitWitty's avie and gives to Manimal*
**Ducks from shit-storm of warnings regarding date of death and disappearance of relatives from Nitty**
_______________________________
"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".

Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:25pm.

Submitted by Bodene:"They look like two archaic, blind little troll dolls bumbling through their own Ugly Parade."

I think I love you.

Submitted by Naughychimp on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 7:24pm.

Well, it's nice to see an older male celeb dating someone who's in his own age range. I'm used to seeing successful dudes of his age with pert 28 year-olds on their arms. And yeah, Meg's way uglier than his ex, but I kind of like that, too. Fact he didn't just bounce to another, younger beautiful model is nice.