A Paparazzo Asks The Questions We're All Thinking (And Writing On The Internet)
Joe Jonas was leaving a restaurant in Los Angeles the other night when a pap tried to single-handedly solve a dozen blind items by asking him if he's gay and if his contract with Ashley Greene expires next month. You can always count on a bold bitch pap to be the voice of bloggers and anonymous commenters. The pap was obviously hoping that one of two things would happen:
1) Joe dances a jig, click his heels together and proudly proclaims his gayness as the gay angels above cry confetti tears of happiness all around him and Ashley Greene texts Taylor Lautner to see if he's hiring. A 3D "Yup, I'm Gay" People Magazine cover, if you will.
2) Joe rages like a KFC employee and puts the spandex in his skinny jeans to the test by throwing a full body attack at the pap. Joe gets busted, the pap sues and the words DISNEY GAY RAGE show up on every newspaper.
But none of this happened. Joe kept his cool and remembered what his sensei Mickey Mouse taught him. Calmly tell the pap that he's being disrespectful and then wait a few minutes before calling Goofy and the other members of the Disney mafia "to take care of things."