Gwyneth Paltrow Admits She's Terrible
Okay, okay, I'm the terrible one (carve that into my tombstone with Catherine Trammell's ice pick), because I took a quote from a highly personal Gwyneth Paltrow interview and twisted it around before shoving it back into her mouth. But it was so easy. The English language was created just so Fishsticks could utter the words "I'm terrible" and the ingredients were all there so I just had to. So what Fishy really told Good Housekeeping (via People) is that soon after her son Moses swam out of the egg she laid, she suffered a case of the postpartum blues and felt like a terrible person because of it.
Specifically, Fishy said she felt like a zombie. And not like one of those trashy American zombies from Dawn of the Dead. No, Fishy felt more like a refined BRITISH zombie who cares about their diet. Instead of mumbling out rude moans like "OOOOAAARRGGHH!!", they charmingly coo out something like, "CHEERIOOOOOAAARRGGHH!!" And they politely ask you if you're preservative-free before they sprinkle flax seeds on your brains and have one their servants neatly slice it into pieces so it goes down easy. Anyway, this is how Fishy explains it:
"I felt like a zombie. I couldn't access my heart. I couldn't access my emotions. I couldn't connect. It was terrible, it was the exact opposite of what had happened when Apple was born. With her, I was on cloud nine. I couldn't believe it wasn't the same. I just thought it meant I was a terrible mother and a terrible person.About four months into it, Chris came to me and said, 'Something's wrong. Something's wrong.' I kept saying, 'No, no, I'm fine.' But Chris identified it, and that sort of burst the bubble. I thought postpartum depression meant you were sobbing every single day and incapable of looking after a child. But there are different shades of it and depths of it, which is why I think it's so important for women to talk about it. It was a trying time. I felt like a failure."
The baby sads is a real thing and no laughing matter, but I sort of know how Fishy felt. Whenever I cradle a Paltrow article with my eyes and stare deep into it, I immediately need to put it back in its crib and run to the garage to smoke a cigarette in the family car. Well, since I don't have a garage, I have to go into the bathroom, stuff a towel in the door crack and crawl into the tub for a nerve-numbing smoke.
And here's something Paltrow-related that definitely won't make you depressed:
Did I say "won't" make you depressed, I meant "WILL." So yeah, I'll meet you in the tub. Bring your own fucking light.
• 
It's not working Gwen honey. You can clean out your colon every which way and it will not keep you young, You look your age and then some.
"marrying an irritating, pretentious musician while pretending to be the same and faking a British accent while videotaping yourself making a mess in your mansion's kitchen that the maid will clean up"
My sentiments exactly.
In 1999, there was a similar PPD murder by a woman named Marilyn Lemak who smothered her three young children (ages 3, 6, 7) to death in her big suburban house using her hands to cover their mouths. She drugged them first, so unlike Yates, it seems she didn't want them to suffer. As a jury I would keep in mind that "lack of suffering" doesn't make them any less dead. The creepiest thing is that like Yates, Lemak was also a nurse.
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I bet when they got back to their room he...no forget it. Even my fevered imagination can't go there. -joe schmoe
It took her husband 4 months to see something was wrong with her?
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Pourtant, dans toute la Botte, pas une call-girl qui ne rêve d’être recrutée pour une partie de « bunga bunga » avec Silvio. «
I felt sorry for Brooke Shields.
Somehow, just can't for Gwyennie.
Submitted by oceanlover998 on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 3:28pm.
...billions of women have to just push through the baby blues and keep washing diapers and scrubbing floors and all that other exhausting sh•te with no help or support from nobody...
...And I don't hear them whining about not being 'able to access' their emotions...
...Biatch has too much money and undeserved fame to win any sympathy here...
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I always wonder about the statistics regarding postpartum depression. Is it like anorexia, a disease mainly seen in developed, wealthier nations, or will we see cases of it in places like Nepal or Ethiopia, where the struggle to survive provides no platform for these issues?
...Totally agree that PPD is no laughing matter and I suppose that even Fishy's vapid whining may help raise general awareness...
...But I just hafta say that I hate her attempted British accent...'Sliding Doors' made me want to throw things at my tv...
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And remember ladies...only flying monkeys and Shar-Peis can pull off lip-liner...
No matter how much she tries to come across as a "real" person, she's still nothing but a smug, entitled, narcissistic BITCH.
Re: Andrea Yates. I think her husband and her doctors should have been jailed. They both knew she was seriously fucked up and their inaction cost those poor children their lives.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
"
Everything about Gwyneth screams "I haven't been fucked in years."
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
I was too young to fully understand/care about Andrea Yates as it happened when I was a dumb teenager and now that I have my own children... wow, I just can't imagine killing them even as a fucking psychotic postpartum bitch. Why didn't her doctor and family take her more seriously? I guess they fall into that very human comfort zone (it won't happen to me/us) but it did happen and it raised awareness for this disease.
I think there is still more awareness that needs to be done as it seems people have forgotten since. Being around a lot of mothers from working at the state mental institute, the ones who did kill their children were so schizophrenic and delusional, they feel killing your child(ren) is for the best and to protect them from harm. My heart still breaks for Yates' children, especially her one son who saw his infant sister dead floating in the bathtub that tried to run away but his fucking bitch mother caught him and drowned him anyway.
She was NOT insane. Insane is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. This Yates bitch waited until her husband left (her MIL was coming only ONE hour later to supervise the psycho bitch) while in that one hour, fuckface Mommy is filling up the bathtub the very moment he pulls out of the driveway. She knew what she was doing. Fuuuuuck, I hate that bitch.
Really, can you imagine chasing your own child around the house to drown him next to his baby sister after he saw her dead and his dead brothers laid side by side?
Postpartum depression is common enough by psychosis is rare. I don't think Yates was psychotic the day she drowned her kids. Just another attention whore.
is she not getting enough attention now? is GP ever not acting? I mean is she ever honest about any thing?
c\#_@/c
I don't understand the deep hatred for her. Yes, she does come off smug and annoying at times, but a lot of people do. I actually subscribe to her newsletter and most of the time, I enjoy it. Postpartum depression is NO laughing matter - it happened to me and it was awful. My heart goes out to any mother that experiences it. Except for Marie Osmond. I severely dislike that vapid bitch. :P
Poor Fishsticks! Life can be rough sometimes.
...Poor Fishy...I'm so glad she had round-the-clock child care and other live-in help to allow her sufficient 'me' time to reconnect with her emotions during this difficult time...
...Biatch needs to get off her high f***in' horse and take a big dose of STFU...
...billions of women have to just push through the baby blues and keep washing diapers and scrubbing floors and all that other exhausting sh•te with no help or support from nobody...
...And I don't hear them whining about not being 'able to access' their emotions...
...Biatch has too much money and undeserved fame to win any sympathy here....
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And remember ladies...only flying monkeys and Shar-Peis can pull off lip-liner...
It boggles my mind how much hatred she gets. There are so many people more despicable than her In Hollywood.
...True enuf...
...but what I think really pushes people's buttons with Fishy is the privileged access she had to career roles thru her parents AND the fact that every time she opens up to the press she sounds pretentios and condescending...
...This patronizing, superior attitude is what really sets people off...
...Not to mention the whole Wynona Ryder thing...
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And remember ladies...only flying monkeys and Shar-Peis can pull off lip-liner...
...Plus she always manages to look sooooooo smug...
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And remember ladies...only flying monkeys and Shar-Peis can pull off lip-liner...
This bird thing is overwriting any interest in bitching about cunty celebrities.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
I had post partum depression after both my sons and it sucked balls. For some reason, reading Fishy's description pissed me off. Like someone said so eloquently, she's just puking out psychobabble.
Bitch looks just like the Carrie chick in the Carrie movie.
I just watched the video. She actually sings quite well. I think she could have a future in country music - if she chooses, that is.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Did you know her hubby, Chris Martin, actually played a zombie in Shaun of the Dead? Yep, I'm full of useless trivia.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Fuck someone please shut her up.
i can't help it. i've always thought she had a really pretty voice. and i will take that tub and smoke, now.
publicity stunt to promote her new shitty movie
piss off blondie
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by Athina on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:52pm.
@ M.E.,
Interesting, thanks for the clarification. Post-Partum Psychosis is something I have never heard of. And was her hubby ever charged with anything? Perhaps child neglect, knowing how ill she was? Freaking sad, sad story.
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No. He was not liable or charged with anything.
Leland Sklar participated in that fuckery?! I guess he needed a check.
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
Submitted by Athina on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:32pm.
Post Partum Depression scares the shit out of me, and it's seriously the one thing that is stopping me from having a baby. I have suffered from mild depression in the past, which was treated, but my worst nightmare is pulling an Andrea Yates or some HORRIBLE shit like that.
When I was in my early twenties I suffered from depression too, up to the point where I had to ask myself whether I wanted to be or not. Some ten years later I had my daughter, and I felt stronger than ever because my focus shifted from me to her. So please don't let your previous experience influence your decision in this matter. I would even say that you have a head start on other young mothers when it comes to recognizing the first signs of post postpartum depression - should they occur - and dealing with them.
Who are you calling silly cow?
Gwyneth needs a divorce and someone who doesn't give a shit about her patrician caste to fuck her bow legged. Maybe 50 Cent can make a housecall once he's done with Chelsea. Ummm, don't worry about those herpes rumors, girl. It's just gossip!
Anyway, fucking fixes everything!! Ask any Victorian era psychiatrist.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
@ M.E.,
Interesting, thanks for the clarification. Post-Partum Psychosis is something I have never heard of. And was her hubby ever charged with anything? Perhaps child neglect, knowing how ill she was? Freaking sad, sad story.
Submitted by Athina on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:32pm.
Post Partum Depression scares the shit out of me, and it's seriously the one thing that is stopping me from having a baby. I have suffered from mild depression in the past, which was treated, but my worst nightmare is pulling an Andrea Yates or some HORRIBLE shit like that.
get you some Pristiq, you'll be just fine. :)
I've seen what this shit does to normal happy people. It is scary and sad.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:44pm.
Yeah, If he didn't have all that power, I doubt dude would get any pussy. I wonder how those people can get excited about fucking someone who will only have sex with you because of your fame and fortune. Half of the fun, at least for me, is feel like the other person wants *me*.
FC it's not about fun...it's for their "careers". :P
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:22pm.
hahahahahahahahaaaa *passes boong to sweetas*
ETA: sweetas did you see they said the ones in AR died of severe trauma? they died IN FLIGHT! when they opened up their little bird bodies they found the chest cavity full of blood... from hemorraging (sp!!) due to traua...
WWWWWWW.TTTTTTTTTT.FFFFFFFFFFFF.?
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No, no, no! Stop it! This sounds like the beginning of a horror flick!
((tightens tinfoil hat))
Can't let the sonic weapon penetrate my skull...
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:22pm.
That Weinstein dude is quite toadish, yet he gets all the young ass and has a beautiful, successful wife. Rumor has it they have a very open marriage. She's probably glad she doesn't have to fuck him and I bet he's not the father of their kid.
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Jesus fuck, TOADISH!! Too good.
Yeah, If he didn't have all that power, I doubt dude would get any pussy. I wonder how those people can get excited about fucking someone who will only have sex with you because of your fame and fortune. Half of the fun, at least for me, is feel like the other person wants *me*.
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"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."
Ziggy-
love the subtle way you call Fishy "horse-faced!"
*chanting as always*
Submitted by Athina on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:32pm.
Post Partum Depression scares the shit out of me, and it's seriously the one thing that is stopping me from having a baby. I have suffered from mild depression in the past, which was treated, but my worst nightmare is pulling an Andrea Yates or some HORRIBLE shit like that
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Andrea Yates had post partum psychosis. Which, she had been in and out of mental facilities and her family knew not to leave her alone with the children, yet on that fatefull morning her husband left before his mother arrived........
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:37pm.
From her blog, she surrounds herself with psychiatrists, Swamis, mystics, nutritionists and horse whisperers.
No matter the issue, from preparing chicken to selecting the correct alarm clock, Fishy has a close friend who has a professional interest.
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This is spot on.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
In three, two, one her tell-all book will be available at a bookstore near you.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I detest this woman; she is beyond stupid.
She speaks like a neurological patient who is having trouble accessing the correct words. Instead of selecting specific words to form elegant sentences, she warbles on and on, dancing around the subject with meaningless phrases like 'I couldn't access my heart.'
Eventually, she exhausts her repertoire of American psychobabble and pseudo-intellectual speak and looks on at the messy turd she's produced with smug satisfaction.
I'll be buying a copy of her cook book for sure. From the exerts, it looks to be the literary equivalent of a shit-stained toilet bowl.
Second, if it takes your husband four months to realise that you are depressed, then there is likely something wrong with your relationship.
I could accept that some people don't know much about mental health or depression, but this is Fishy.
From her blog, she surrounds herself with psychiatrists, Swamis, mystics, nutritionists and horse whisperers.
No matter the issue, from preparing chicken to selecting the correct alarm clock, Fishy has a close friend who has a professional interest.
She is horrible.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 11:28am.
I know how she feels. It was the same for me with Jesus. I just didn't feel the same as when I had Banana.
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LOL
on topic PPD is no joke....
carry on
I remember when my dad was fucking me while I was pregnant with his 4th child, and he FINALLY realized that it was like fucking ME and THE BABY, he would thrash his dick in and out of me so violently that I'd pass out, and yep, I miscarried that time too, so ya know, lemons and lemonade I guess!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Post Partum Depression scares the shit out of me, and it's seriously the one thing that is stopping me from having a baby. I have suffered from mild depression in the past, which was treated, but my worst nightmare is pulling an Andrea Yates or some HORRIBLE shit like that.
Submitted by mcnightmare on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:26pm.
~re: The Birds (and fish):
the other theory is that the military industrial complex is testing out a secret sonic weapon.
one that can easily masquerade as a Kesha song, no doubt
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OMG I just thought of something. What day was it, exactly, that Lindsay put that new site up?...maybe that's what happened.
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
She should write a book to help all the other unfortunate victims of this condition, sprinkling the narrative with useful tidbits of advice, such as how you can cure yourself of postpartum depression by being born wealthy and pretending to have an affinity and camaraderie with the great unwashed and marrying an irritating, pretentious musician while pretending to be the same and faking a British accent while videotaping yourself making a mess in your mansion's kitchen that the maid will clean up and turning off the Youtube comments so that peasants can't tell you what an insufferable, untalented douchebag you are.
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Google me, tramp.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Albert-Kai-Lu/1822227818
Submitted by mcnightmare on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:26pm.
~re: The Birds (and fish):
the other theory is that the military industrial complex is testing out a secret sonic weapon.
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This is the first thing I thought of when I heard the story.
And you can't tell me our government isn't constantly covering up the testing of secret shit.
~re: The Birds (and fish):
the other theory is that the military industrial complex is testing out a secret sonic weapon.
one that can easily masquerade as a Kesha song, no doubt.
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http://alisoncecilejohns.bandcamp.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/pomloplum?feature=mhum
No honey, you should have written, "I'm terrible at choosing between the 10" or 12" dildo to stuff in my mouth."
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Tue, 01/04/2011 - And let's not forget, like Blake Lively and Gretchen Mol, word on the street is that Goopy got that oscar because... well, she was sucking Weinstein's dick. She didn't get it for her TALENT, that's for sure, unless we're talking about magical blowjobs here.
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That Weinstein dude is quite toadish, yet he gets all the young ass and has a beautiful, successful wife. Rumor has it they have a very open marriage. She's probably glad she doesn't have to fuck him and I bet he's not the father of their kid.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:15pm.
Awwwwww hell.
((logs into Above Top Secret))
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LOL! That made me ask: Who the hell makes stuffing at a time like this?!?!? But that says Above - not Stove. I'm good now:)*two thumbs up*
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
I need to rant on Blohan......