Monday, January 3rd 2011
Open Post: Hosted By Quarters In A Belly Button
Since Four Loko's original brew is almost extinct, frat boys have to fill their time with something. So why not fill their time with trying to break the record for the most quarters in a belly button.
The next time you touch a quarter, you can fondly think about how it most likely spent some time percolating in this dude's lint trap.
via Buzzfeed
• 
now that's one piece of white trash just bookin' for mama's cheese grits and sawmill gravy.
settle down charlie m. did your daddy hate your momma? maybe she was a filthy whore like oksana...Submitted by lovethejared
MK! COMMENTS ARE JACKED!
Submitted by Few Words on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:45pm.
RELAX & HAVE A DING DONG
***************************************
THAT'S WHAT I"M TRYNA DO! BUT THERE IS NO WAY I'M GONNA DO THAT IN THIS BODY!
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 4:08pm.
@jack: OMG does she not mean it depends on your history and disposition? I mean, wtf can you do about his MOOD? Suck his cock before court? That's just rude.
I think it comes down to how you're dressed. Hopefully Jack doesn't wear his 'Scorpions '88 World Tour' tshirt & jean shorts.
Submitted by Few Words on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:45pm.
I'll have a Ding Dong!!! Oh. My deprived ass thought you meant... nothing. *cries, breaks it in half and licks the middle*
LOL angel... I know. I think I will just gamble on his mood and leave the cocksucking to the meth heads!!
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
@jack: OMG does she not mean it depends on your history and disposition? I mean, wtf can you do about his MOOD? Suck his cock before court? Make him a sammich? (the only two ways I know how to fix a guy's mood) That's just rude.
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
@jack: OMG does she not mean it depends on your history and disposition? I mean, wtf can you do about his MOOD? Suck his cock before court? That's just rude.
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
C6 - not really a whim... there are laws, of course, to go by... she just said there's a lot of room for him to "play" within the law... ok, so yea, maybe a whim lol
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
THERE'S A CAMEL IN MY TENT
I'LL BE YOUR BELLY DANCER & YOU CAN BE MY SHIEK
i dont like making canned tapes
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:54pm.
eat.pray.vom - no, have not been sentenced, just going by what my attorney told me last night that they "typically" sentence people with.
Just got out of a meeting with her... she said because I am so close to the .18 that the judge COULD sentence me to jail for any length of time, it just depends on his fucking MOOD!!!
________________
Makes no fking sense. Shit's on a whim?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
no shit, spicey... thank you, sir!
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Jack,
Here's hoping the judge gets laid the night prior to your hearing so that he is in a good mood and willing to give you a pass. Cheers!
(drinks water)
-------------------------------------------------
they took their relationship from "May I borrow some sugar?" to "May I lick sugar off your ass crack?" - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
eat.pray.vom - no, have not been sentenced, just going by what my attorney told me last night that they "typically" sentence people with.
Just got out of a meeting with her... she said because I am so close to the .18 that the judge COULD sentence me to jail for any length of time, it just depends on his fucking MOOD!!! *HATES LEGAL SYSTEM* she said a few months ago one of the judges sentenced a guy to a week in jail for blowing a .15 but the next week didn't do shit to a guy that blew a .17... said it was a CRAP SHOOT!! also said if I hire her she can guarantee (SURE!) that I won't spend any time in jail. I kinda believe her, she is one of the most reputable ones in town.
TEAM DON'T DINK AND DRIVE YA'LL!!
*hires snowy as personal mouf breever*
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Submitted by Few Words on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:45pm.
YOU WOMEN ARE TOO DAMN PREFUCKINGOCCUPIED WITH BEING FAT
RELAX & HAVE A DING DONG
*************************************************
*takes bite of ding dong*
*spits out*
THANK YOU! THAT WAS DELISH!
omg Sucky lol, I just watched that vid now and was so disgusted at his jiggly furious quarter shoving that I came back here to vomit.
*grabs the office stapler and doorstop and tries to top this dude in the spare office*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
@suckandfuck:
O, I see. Fuck him, then. He can support his own moobs!
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
YOU WOMEN ARE TOO DAMN PREFUCKINGOCCUPIED WITH BEING FAT
RELAX & HAVE A DING DONG
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:39pm.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:37pm.
JACK I'm sorry you got pulled over, that really sux.
*********************************
o THAT's what happened!
--------------------------------------------------
Sorry. Let me be accurate. He was taken in after going through a checkpoint, NOT pulled over.
------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Re: The video
Like looking in a mirror, right guys? You make me sick.
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Ta Louise :)
@Jack. Did ya get cornholed in jail?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMhO0Kfl5Ck&feature=related
...and there's still room to fit john gosselins dick.
Jeez, UBF. That's one ill assignment. Fk, the year just opened and that's what's on boss' mind?? ugh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:37pm.
JACK I'm sorry you got pulled over, that really sux.
*********************************
o THAT's what happened!
*supports jack's moobs*
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
Happy New Year, El B!
Submitted by Bitchette1 on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:30pm.
angel- ok, so really what i need to do is cut out the eating after dinner (god damn munchies make all types of shit irresistible and calorie counting is forgotten)
***********************************
LOL! Caught! I'm the same way. I can eat more when I eat right...at the right times, the right food... all of that. I've been known to forgo eating a meal so I can eat more chocoloate, that's fersure. And I don't gain weight but I don't feel good either.
And I know MY body does the starvation mode thing too...if it doesn't get enuff nourishment over a long period of time, it'll start to hoard fat cuz it thinks I'm starving. I can work it off but then I just get sick.
And THEN i think, if you've trained your body like that... I don't even know. You prolly got a work out more...but honestly, you gotta think about the future too...when you don't eat enuff it saps the nutrients from your blood and your bones and then old age can be pretty rough...
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
JACK I'm sorry you got pulled over, that really sux.
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Hope you all are having a good year so far.
My boss put a big "fuck you" onto my so far pretty good year of 2011 by sending me on a Tour de Funeralhomes for advertisement reasons today.
Can it get any more depressing??
--------------------------------------------------
fuck those goddamn son of a horses i got better things to do like love landwhale and bake some bread and tell some fuckers to fuck off.----charlie m.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 1:41pm.
"...One dude sitting next to me on kept yelling out "FUCKIN BITCH" about every 12 minutes. then some dude that was cold stole another dudes clothes that was passed out on the floor."
____________________
You were at my fam's house. The officer must've been one of my uncles confusing you w/ one of my cuz' needing a ride to the holiday funny farm.
No. Damn, that shit sucks. Glad you got out and topped it with a home beer. lol. Only once when I was pissed at bboy did I burn rubber outta a bar hella drunk (was a 4 min ride home, but still wrong) and would probs registered similar at least. Jacks I can see you in the cell all quiet just whistling and immediately thinking about us and the DL OpEd piece of what happened!! Love ya. Hope it all works out w/ the lawyer; awesome about the .16 reduction. I'll toast AT HOME (lol) to you tonight for that reduction!
No worries at all on the FB thing; all 53 peeps on my list I KNOW. Common sense not to cross that line. Ain't no dumb mfers on my list (except me and bboy right now, being dumb w/ each other). Jk. Trust, I've thought of that worry too, writing some of my RL shit here and a few of you peeps have my fb number also. =D
*puts hand up to pledge: what's on the DL STAYS on the DL, for frak's sake*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Bit late but...HAPPY NEW YEAR KIDS!!! :)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMhO0Kfl5Ck&feature=related
Spicey - ok...that is funny. But I wouldn't have eaten it. LOL
angel- ok, so really what i need to do is cut out the eating after dinner (god damn munchies make all types of shit irresistible and calorie counting is forgotten) but i dont' think i've eaten over 2000 on a regular basis for at least 10 yrs. can't imagine what it would be like if i went up to a more 'normal' count, bc 1500 has become normal. ANd somehow- i still need to lose weight! (its the munchies)
--------------------------------------
fuck you guys, i'm goin home!
Submitted by ditquoi on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:24pm.
**********************************************
Mk kids were at Grandma's for NYE and I worked. But I got home to a full house of drunken gamblers, so, I got my drank on and was still in bed, though awake at 11am when they got home the next morning. It allowed for some mamma bear and baby bear cudding.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 3:19pm.
There is a box of See's Candies here next to the copier, but none of us know who brought it in, and all employees have denied brining it in...
-------------------------------------------------
LOL
Same thing happened here not long ago with a pink penis-shaped cake (with chocolate sprinkles mimicking hairy balls and all) that appeared in our office kitchen. No one wanted to eat it because no one knew who put it there...then a girl was brave enough and went for it with a knife and cut off the HEAD of the 2-foot-long beast and ate it...the penis shot strawberry jelly when she cut into it.
they took their relationship from "May I borrow some sugar?" to "May I lick sugar off your ass crack?" - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
@bitchette: LOL! ok, fine but where do they come from? What the calories are cut with makes a big deal. Cuz we're supposed to eat about 3000 a day. You know - your brain needs food even if you feel like your body doesn't. And then what happens when you go from 1500 back up to something normal? Doesn't that make you gain? Honestly - I just lost 5 pounds (and i need to lose more, never mind) and alls I did was stop eating chocolate. (i was eating a LOT of chocolate, mind;p)
LOL@the poor thing. I felt kinda bad about that after but i didn't really think about it cuz i'm poor too
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
I should mention I didn't go to the party...just got wasted in the house with my husband & the baby was safely tucked in bed when the clock struck midnight. I just reread that post and thought that it sounded like I got toasty toast anyway despite it not being a good idea. LOL
LMAO @ angel i
i eat 1900 cals a day and i might as well wear my pjs everywhere! (elastic waistband ya know) porky!
i try to eat 1500 or less.
maybe its a good thing i'm poor
--------------------------------------
fuck you guys, i'm goin home!
There is a box of See's Candies here next to the copier, but none of us know who brought it in, and all employees have denied brining it in...so I refuse to even entertain the thought of eating it as I'm sure it was the old garbage lady. Who know's where she found them.
ugh the tits on that guy need serious support...he looks like a FAT chick.
And Jack are you still a butt-virgin or did you leave out the Oz-style rape orgy out of your story? :-P
But rape or not you got fucked and not in a good way...sorry about your ordeal. DON"T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------
they took their relationship from "May I borrow some sugar?" to "May I lick sugar off your ass crack?" - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Thanks! The Blue Watermelon Mystery:
http://www.whataboutwatermelon.com/index.php/2009/10/ask-the-experts-the...
Click the link for the answer. This is the question --
DEE ASKS: Probably twenty years ago, my uncle used to drive to the southern heel of Missouri and into Arkansas to purchase vegetables and fruit to bring back to mid-Missouri and sell. On one of his trips, he brought back an unusual watermelon to show his friends and family. The melon had seeds, but the flesh of the watermelon was blue. Has anyone else heard of this blue fleshed watermelon? We have been trying to find another one in recent years, but everyone we ask in that area says they’ve never heard of them.
★ª"˜¨¨¯¯¨¨˜ª¤.¸*•¸★☆☆★ª"˜¨¨¯¯¨¨˜ª¤.¸*•¸★☆☆★
OMG Stoney - you gots at least another 1000 to go if you wanna function! Jeesh! Starvation is for poor people dontcha know?!
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
I did not walk away, but I added the calories to my list. I'm at 920 calories already and it's not even mid-afternoon. Guess I'm done eating for the day.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Good info Mama Moore. I will try and behave nxt time I visit.
*chanting as always*
gotta cosign on the drinking with the baby thing...perhaps 10 months is too old to remember but kids are a lot smarter than people think...and establish some form of memory earlier than people realize. my baby isn't even 2 and I can see him "remembering" things. he actually taught himself how to "toast" since my friends come over every Tuesday and we always toast before dinner, so now, if you're holding a drink, any drink, he'll come over with his sippy cup, say something which is supposed to mean "salud to you" in baby language (that's how we toast), and he toasts. boy that shit is hilarious. but I digress.
my friends had a kid-friendly NYE party this year. I had planned to bring my son, and of course there would have been drinks there, but I could never, ever imagine getting toasty toast and having to deal with a baby?!? you know how much energy they have? way more than my drunk ass would ever care to deal with. I thought I was going to die on Saturday because I was hungover as hell and the kid is all "blah blah blah blah" and rolling and jumping everywhere. :P
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 2:59pm.
Ok, whoever put the sheet cake in the break room here deserves to be severely punished.
Someone put chocolate covered Oreos in our break room. It took every ounce of will to just walk away.
Provy right?? What happened to the good old days when they had to plant something on you? Now you just have to "seem impaired". If cops were decent, trustworthy and just trying to serve and protect (wait...AhahahahhahahahAHAHAHAHahhaha Aaaah, I crack myself up) it would be different. But yeah that's some Heil shit right there.
That dude has bigger breasts than most women.
Happy New Year!
bitchette - it made me so fucking mad.
that blue watermelon is beautiful...does that exist in nature or is it from blueberry schnapps? ;)
M.E. i can't believe that. its one thing (and not a great thing) to think that you are able to drive yourself- BUT YOUR BABY?!?!?!?!! i mean why the fuck are you drinking with your child anyways????
i just saw somebody else's FB pics and the mom brought the 15 mo over to the party house and the child was driving around a toy car while the mom slammed voddy. way to parent.
--------------------------------------
fuck you guys, i'm goin home!
Submitted by Bitchette1 on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 2:42pm.
wait wait wait... if you blow a 0 on the BAC don't they have to take blood or something else if they're trying to get you with DUI?! how the hell can they just decide with no proof?
yeah, really...and then they wonder where groups like NWA come from and how they could write songs like "Fuck the Police".
now, I know fully well that they are trying to protect us from ourselves. one of my very best friends was killed by a drunk driver 6 months before he finished law school...that was over 10 years ago and I really have yet to get over it...but giving that much discretion to the police, who are still human beings, is just abuse waiting to happen.