Happy New Year!!!

Well, it's been another fuckery-filled year of eyebrow situations good and bad, exquisite lucite heels, cutlets of all types, I CANTS, ho shit, panty cream of various textures, bruised eardrums, scorched retinas, battered souls, ROJO!!!, Zahara side-eyes, ailing Aretha chichis, death threats from Beliebers, and restraining order renewals from both Mah Boo and Prince Hot Ginge. And now we'll stuff all of that into the tiny cardboard file box in our heads marked 2010.

You know, we'll probably forget all about it when we wake up from our debauchery-induced coma on the first morning of 2011! And by "debauchery" I mean lying on someone's couch with a bottle of whiskey I got for Christmas and a box of FINE GOURMET chocolates imported from California (aka fucking See's Candies). I can't wait!

And this is where I'm supposed to talk about my New Year's resolutions, but I really only have one. In 2011, I'm going to try lift up the toilet seat more because I really don't need my super to look up at me again while fixing it and tell me that I'm a messy pee-er. Actually, now that I think about it that was one of my favorite moments from 2010, so my one resolution should really be to be an even MESSIER pee-er in 2011. On that note...

I leave you with these pictures of Snooki looking like a shaved hamster in a ball at the Jersey Shore last night. The only good that can come of this is if they launch her into a portal in the sky where she'll be transported back to the Jurassic age and be reunited with her soulmate Holly.

Happy New Year, everybody! Thanks for dealing with my shit every single day.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Love & Handjobs • Rojo Caliente

Submitted by Dolly_D on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:51pm.

*Showing my tits cuz I'm alread into the hootch*

Party of one here also.

*************

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:46pm.

FUCK YOU 2010!

Happy New Year's Dlisted and especially MK.

I am home. Not going out and I am eating lots of junk food and drinking Welch's sparkling grape juice! Aren't you all jealous?

My resolution: To say FUCK YOU more. *cues Cee Lo song*

Submitted by DeeDee on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:42pm.

Happy New Year MK and Dlisters! I can't believe I've been reading all your SUCIO talks for three years now.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:38pm.

Submitted by caprica six on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 5:53pm.
@Koko include me, if you will, on the home doin my thang (already drunk)) cuz I done said "fuck you" to bboy's self-centeredness. Oh yup, I did. CHEERS TO THAT!

_____________________________________

Permanent or temporary ?? Sorry to hear but focus on 2011 !!!

Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:38pm.

Happy New Year's everybody! Thank you MK for this site and for just being you.

I am in Las Vegas, but I live here so I will be staying in tonight to avoid the drunks.

...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...

Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:33pm.

Submitted by chana on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 6:00pm.

Hi MK! Thanks for a wonderful 2010, the year I finally learned to Excuse My Beauty. See's Candies are the best ever. Getting a box of Nuts and Chews to enjoy in your honor.
************************************
Send me some carmel and chocolate suckers...They don't have 'em here :( Enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois

Submitted by letinstar on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:30pm.

happy 2011,mk....and thank you for giving me giggles and snorts every day!!!

and happy 2011 to all the dlisters!
_____________________________________________
Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10

Submitted by chana on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:30pm.

Hi MK! Thanks for a wonderful 2010, the year I finally learned to Excuse My Beauty. See's Candies are the best ever. Getting a box of Nuts and Chews to enjoy in your honor.

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:29pm.

Submitted by Dolly_D on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 5:22pm.

Happy New Year to all! Thanks to all the D-listers for making me laugh and for allowing me to post my uncerebral comments.
******************************************

SHOW US YER TITS!

What? That's a New Yearsie thing to say, right?

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by nclgemini on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:29pm.

mk I love you!! Thank you so much for the insane laughs that dlisted has brought to me and my boyfriend over the last few years. biggest TY to my friend sara who introd. me to dlisted back in 2007. b-4 that i had never even been to a gossip blog! and now i seriously couldn't imagine my life w/out this place! and all the hot slut dlisters: your snarky ass PURE AMAZING comments really get me through the days sometimes! I don't contribute very often but sometimes I'll chime in w/ my backhanded compliments and rants! Thanks you guys for being allaround hilarious, insightful, rude at times, and for always keeping eachother in check! seriously though. you guys all have a wonderful night and get super shitty drunk and smoke tons of herb! wake up next to your mystery piece, puke up some Andre. smoke another bowl for your hangover, and I'll mett ya'll back here tomorrow and we will do this all over again. everyday FOREVAH!!!
Nicole Gemini <3

Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:29pm.

Submitted by Snarf on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 5:53pm.

Thanks to MK and the rest of the snark filled commenters for all the shits & giggles in 2010. Here's to 2011!

**********
Shiitake happens...
**********************************
*clinks glass!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:28pm.

MK tell your super to eat shit, being a messy pisser is a blast, I love it when my piss dries up and leaves stains on the toilet, it makes me feel like I've accomplished something, same with cumming on the bathroom wall tiles, YOU AREN'T PAYING THEM TO NOT CUM ON THE WALLS HELLOO

-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:25pm.

Happy New Years, slores!
Thanks for all you do, MK. ♥

=============================

"don't even try shitting on my rainbow!!" ~ Fucking_Classy

Submitted by caprica six on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:23pm.

@Koko include me, if you will, on the home doin my thang (already drunk)) cuz I done said "fuck you" to bboy's self-centeredness. Oh yup, I did. CHEERS TO THAT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Submitted by Snarf on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:23pm.

Thanks to MK and the rest of the snark filled commenters for all the shits & giggles in 2010. Here's to 2011!

**********
Shiitake happens...

Submitted by caprica six on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:22pm.

2011 @MK n Snark Bitches!!! Happy Year befoe end-o-times!!! Let's get sloppy drunk or just sugar-highed! Fk it. Rock on!

Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:19pm.

Happy New Years to everyone except about 3 teabagging hateful trolls that come here and try and stir things up ! Everyone else is hysterical !!! D-Listed makes my day everyday, in fact I think I have a bit of a problem. I feel a special bond with those that will be drinking at home alone tonight. Oh and thanks CSG !! Now if Dancing with the Stars was anything like this in America I would actually watch. NSFW
http://gawker.com/5721464/argentinas-dancing-with-the-stars-is-pretty-mu...

Submitted by blaase on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:18pm.

what happened to that hot slut of the year competition, is that tradition over??

Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:17pm.

HAPPY NEW YEAR MK!!! And all the Dlisted sluts. Ah I remember when this beautiful blog came into my life many years ago when it was on that other hosting site (what the fuck was it called?).

I am Fiesta Texas (Six Flags) right now. I'll be bringing int he New Year on rollercoasters and shit. I thought I was being all stealth and that thess little asshole kids would be going home, but something tells me these little fuckers will be here till 1 am too. Fuck.

And why the fuck is Snooker already bring in 2011? Am I in a partallel universe and it's already new years on the East Coast?

Submitted by Roxygirl87 on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:17pm.

Rojo! Be still my heart!

Happy New Year to MK and the readers of Dlisted. And thank you MK for bringing the laughs everyday.

Submitted by anony54321 on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:16pm.

you too, sucky!

and coco - me too! where is it??

********************
The McCanns Did It

Submitted by Caramel on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:15pm.

Happy New Year MK!
Wishing you a 2011 filled with ESCANDALO!
(you sucio bastid!)

Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:15pm.

Happy New Year to all! Let's make 2011 the sluttiest year ever!

===============================================
Trolling for a new brother husband for Mr. mahaatma....

Submitted by Tex-Bro on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:14pm.

Happy New Year sluts and to the perfect slore that is MK, the only way you could be more perfect would be if you were pan fried and covered in gravy (cream gravy of course).

TEXBRO

Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:13pm.

MK!!Blessings by the armloads to you and yours in the coming year.

STFU Sucky. Like we have a choice? Now get over here and help me get this dingle off my ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois

Submitted by cocoebert on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:13pm.

I miss HSOTY.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:11pm.

HAPPY NEW YEAR MK!!! Happy New Year to all Dlisters, thank you for putting up with my vile AIDS ridden comments and insults, I really appreciate it. Please have a great time tonight and an excellent New Year!

Submitted by Sayonara on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:11pm.

I will be enjoying my chilled red grape sparkling juice cocktail as I watch the ball drop in Times Square from my couch. Yeah I know... It's kind of corny!

Christmas in Hollis courtesy of RUN-DMC...

Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:10pm.

Happy New Year to Michael K and all of the Dlisted cunts!

I use the word "cunt" affectionately this time.

Submitted by Living dead girl on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:21pm.

Thanks for all the laughs MK. hope u have fun tonite.

Submitted by Living dead girl on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:15pm.

Thanks for all the laughs MK. hope u have fun tonite.

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:05pm.

Wanted to add a Happy New Years before leaving out to all the dlisted sluts who keep me laughing through the good and bad times all year round.

And meant to tell Koko a few days ago - for what it's worth, I'd pick you FRIST to be on my dodgeball team any day! Happy New Years sweetie!

______________________________
"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".

Submitted by lifeislikecake on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:02pm.

love you like a sister, MK. happy fucking new year.

lylas everyone

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:00pm.

Thank you for making me laugh every day MichaelK.
Sometimes I even cackle maniacally to myself when I recall something you've written.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:00pm.

Love you MK! If only my family gave me such highlarious shit to put up with!! Besos to errybuddy!

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

Submitted by Irene on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:59pm.

Happy New Year MK. You make me laugh out loud at least once a day. You're doing your part for humanity and we love you for it :) Happy New Year Everyone!

Submitted by anony54321 on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:58pm.

i am gonna edit my first comment to say "happy new year to my favorite michael k in the world!" instead of that ungrateful "what, we get no afternoon crumbs?"

but i have been WAITing for those crumbs! unlike all o' you wanna-bes, i plan my afternoons around the crumbs!

********************
The McCanns Did It

Submitted by UltraBaroque on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 9:30pm.

I'm so glad I came upon this place (an expression) You are the only man on the internet who can make this bitter, cynical, black-hearted trollop laugh out loud (not lol)

Happy New Year!

**************************************

Currently: Lamictal, Cymbalta, Klonopin.

Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:56pm.

Dear MK,

As a NEW tradition, on New Year's Day please post a few of your most epic loonatarded, hate emails from the past year.

LOVE YOU!
*shakes chichis*

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
"Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country".

Submitted by sonne on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:56pm.

Hey kokoskitten, it's 10 minutes to New Year's here and I'm alone waiting for the fireworks. If I'm lucky, I will be able to catch the cat and give him a kiss at midnight. :D

To all d-listers: Thank you for being you! This place keeps me sane some days and without you all and MK I wouldn't laugh as much as I do. Where else can I let out my inner ho. My new year's resolution is to let her out more often 'cause I want my ginger dreams to come true, too, but in the form of a man rojo caliente. ;) Happy New Years d-listers!!

Submitted by Dolly_D on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:52pm.

I'll put up with your shit any day.
Michael, you've got the soul of a poet, court jester, and super slut all rolled into one. Plus, the biggest heart of gold. I love ya. MUAHHHHHH!

Happy New Year to all! Thanks to all the D-listers for making me laugh and for allowing me to post my uncerebral comments. You guys are sharp and witty and coming to this site saves my sanity. You all are like welcome friends.

Party like its 2012!!!

*************

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman

Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:51pm.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BEYOTCH!

MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION IS TO SOMEHOW MAKE YOU POST MY WEIRDASS FINDS! IT WILL HAPPEN! RIGHT?

PS. the plastic cup is a nice touch on Snickers up there.

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:50pm.

¡Feliz año nuevo, chingón!

Submitted by KittenKatinCanada on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:49pm.

A very happy New Year to you, sweet, brilliant MK. Happy New Year everyone. Fingers crossed for a happy 365 for all concerned.

************************************************

"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)

" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)

Submitted by anony54321 on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:48pm.

what? no afternoon crumbs for three days in a row now?

damnit!

happy new year everyone!

i am all decked out with my finery, with white thermals peeking out from the slit in my dress.

its cold!

oh, and the dressing up is just to stay home and watch what i can bear of good ol' dick clark's rockin eve. the music today is torture, but i try to watch it for old times sake.
********************
The McCanns Did It

Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:47pm.

So is this like our Open Post ??? I'm a loser and doing absolutely nothing tonight. Well drinking Charles Shaw and hanging with the cats while watching bad TV. Although I might have to leave to get my obligatory vat of ice cream and block of fudge. Mr. K works at a hotel (bartender) right in downtown SF so I imagine he will be in a foul mood when he finally gets home ater missing train after train. Nothing like being sober at 2 in the morning while drunks are screaming and acting the fool 2 inches away from you.

Submitted by cocoebert on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:46pm.

Putting up with YOUR shit?! Thanks for putting up with OUR unquenchable desire to laugh our ass off every day! Happy New Year to you MK and all the other hot sluts on here that make my days more joyous!!

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:45pm.

Biting - it's FRIST! And congratulations on being frist.
_______________________________
"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:44pm.

MK - I lurves reading dlisted! Thank you for providing laughs 24/7, 365 days a year. I wish you and Elvie all the best in 2011 - may all your ginger dreams come true!
_______________________________
"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".