Happy New Year!!!
Well, it's been another fuckery-filled year of eyebrow situations good and bad, exquisite lucite heels, cutlets of all types, I CANTS, ho shit, panty cream of various textures, bruised eardrums, scorched retinas, battered souls, ROJO!!!, Zahara side-eyes, ailing Aretha chichis, death threats from Beliebers, and restraining order renewals from both Mah Boo and Prince Hot Ginge. And now we'll stuff all of that into the tiny cardboard file box in our heads marked 2010.
You know, we'll probably forget all about it when we wake up from our debauchery-induced coma on the first morning of 2011! And by "debauchery" I mean lying on someone's couch with a bottle of whiskey I got for Christmas and a box of FINE GOURMET chocolates imported from California (aka fucking See's Candies). I can't wait!
And this is where I'm supposed to talk about my New Year's resolutions, but I really only have one. In 2011, I'm going to try lift up the toilet seat more because I really don't need my super to look up at me again while fixing it and tell me that I'm a messy pee-er. Actually, now that I think about it that was one of my favorite moments from 2010, so my one resolution should really be to be an even MESSIER pee-er in 2011. On that note...
I leave you with these pictures of Snooki looking like a shaved hamster in a ball at the Jersey Shore last night. The only good that can come of this is if they launch her into a portal in the sky where she'll be transported back to the Jurassic age and be reunited with her soulmate Holly.
Happy New Year, everybody! Thanks for dealing with my shit every single day.
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MK, I don't know why you waste your superior writing, talent, wit, humor....on us, but I am eternally grateful! Happy New Year to you and all the commentors Here's to another year filled with fake relationships, GD outfits and major meltdowns! xoxoxo
Oops double post. So I wish you all a good night and here is to 2011 and celebrity assholes giving plenty of material for MK and you Dlisted skanks to work with!
Happy New Year MK and all you funny Dlisted whores! Be safe tonight and I look forward to reading all of you in 2011. Cheers!
Happy New Year to you, too. A good year for some, lousy for others. Mel Gibson hit the skids, but poliically correct he wasn't. Drinking and shooting off the mouth isn't smart when you are a celebrity. Hope Rojo and Cynthia Nixon are doing okay. Cynthia Nixon has a sort of pinched, strained look about her. Just a thought looking at them. Best wishes to all. Don't drink and drive...Not worth trying to walk a straight line while not being able to see straight ( been there )
Happy New Years, here is my favorite quote about drinking.
'I like to have a Martini, two at the very most; three, I'm under the table, four I'm under my host!' ~ Dorothy Parker
Happy New Year to Michael K & all you bitches & ho's on Dlisted that make me laugh everyday! Got my flannel jammie's on...waitin for Mah Boo...champagne anyone???
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"Let's hit the fuckin' road!" Frank Booth
Submitted by sensen on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 7:15pm.
Will someone booze it up for me tonight? I am stuck in bed with the Flu. Anyway, HNY to all. Every last one of you crack me up everyday. Be safe tonight.
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*passes soda water and aspirin sensen's way*
Happy New Year from the sick ward. Kippis!
*shivers, sweats, goes back to bed*
Damn i keep missing ESE...happy new year..I have some snowcaps(nonparells) for you for christmas..
Happy New Year MK! and Happy New Year to all the rest of you fine ladies and gentlemen (read: slores)of this here establishment!
Bartender, a round for everyone on me!
Hope you feel better soon, sensen. The new year is already here in euroland so someone else will have to do the booze part. :)
The United States, locked in the kind of twilight disconnect that grips dying empires, is a country entranced by illusions. It spends its emotional and intellectual energy on the trivial and the absurd. It is captivated by the hollow stagecraft of celebrity culture as the walls crumble. This celebrity culture giddily licenses a dark voyeurism into other people's humiliation, pain, weakness and betrayal. Day after day, one lurid saga after another, whether it is Michael Jackson, Britney Spears or John Edwards, enthralls the country ... despite bank collapses, wars, mounting poverty or the criminality of its financial class.
Happy 2011.
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In a time of universal deceit
- telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
*George Orwell*
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Those who exchange liberty for safety deserve neither; AND LOSE BOTH!
*Benjamin Franklin
Will someone booze it up for me tonight? I am stuck in bed with the Flu. Anyway, HNY to all. Every last one of you crack me up everyday. Be safe tonight.
Submitted by anony54321 on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 5:18pm.
i am all decked out with my finery, with white thermals peeking out from the slit in my dress.
LOL
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And here we have that splendid family
I never ran to when I got depressed,
The boys all biceps and the girls all chest
Submitted by Falmouth
Join in wishing MK and all of--well, most of the posters HNY. There's something special about this site that, despite its faults, makes it highly addictive and tons of fun. I wish folks wouldn't fight and carp so much, but the universe doesn't revolve around me.
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You're wrong, the universe does revolve around you. Now piss-off.
I've been reading Dlisted since my very first office about 7 years ago when dlisted was just a blogspot.com and i cannot imagine my life without it! lol so i'll say Happy New year to MK, Dlisted, and all the hot bitches and Ho's that make dlisted the awesome site that it is!!!!!! HAPPY 2011 TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
Join in wishing MK and all of--well, most of the posters HNY. There's something special about this site that, despite its faults, makes it highly addictive and tons of fun. I wish folks wouldn't fight and carp so much, but the universe doesn't revolve around me.
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And here we have that splendid family
I never ran to when I got depressed,
The boys all biceps and the girls all chest
Happy 2011 everyone
Happy New Year to you MK, our queen bee, and to all of you demure sluts. Keep the ESCANDALO and ho shit up and let's annoy the fuck out of our neighbors tonight. Lots of love to you all!
Is it too early to be drinking? It's only 6:30 PM here.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 6:16pm.
I am home. Not going out and I am eating lots of junk food and drinking Welch's sparkling grape juice! Aren't you all jealous?
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It's pretty much what I am doing, too. Except I will be continuing my reign as Guitar Hero champ of my house by beating my husband at it over and over and over again.
Well, Happy New Year, you dirty Whores and MK.
I ll probably be asleep by the time midnight roles around, but i want to say, I love you bitches and thanks, MK, for making me LOL at least 3 times a day. Its been 3 years as a registered member.. i remember the good old times of posting as an anonymous... And i loved every minute of it.
Happy 2011 to all of you, may 2011 be the year of the whore.
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fuck those goddamn son of a horses i got better things to do like love landwhale and bake some bread and tell some fuckers to fuck off.----charlie m.
Happy New Year's Eve Night everyone.
I got my meth lab up and running and my shed full of moonshine.
Come on over everyone.
I've been reading here since 2006 but I think I made some username, forgot it, and registered again. I remember in 2006 reading a bunch of shit about Katie Holmes and her mysterious life and Lindsay Lohan/Paris Hilton while I waiting to have mah own babey. Come to think of it, we still talk about this shit almost on the daily! Ha. I can't believe time passed so fast... and we still talk about the same people. Cochroaches never die I guess.
hny mk & to all of you dlisters who make me LOL every single day!! good riddance 2010 & here's to a fabulous 2011. hugs.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
This year went by fast!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR PUTAS!!!!!!
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! See's candies are "FINE GOURMET chocolates imported from California".
I use them as bribe gifts whenever I go the UK. I am told over and over again that they are the best chocolates they have ever had and it's not like the only chocolate they have ever had has been nasty ass Cadbury.
Anyway if See's Candies are so cheap and nasty what are better?
I'm closing in on 4 years here too! :)
My little one gets up at 4am everyday so it will be a miracle if I last to midnight!
Be Safe everyone!
Happy new year MK love, love, love you
HAPPY NEW YEAR MK! Dlisted always starts my day with a laugh or smile. I appreciate, and love you for that!
HAPPY NEW YEAR to all dlisters!
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Happy New Year, Michael. Dealing with your every-day shit is the funnest part of my day.
I've been here for almost 4 years and it's been quite a ride.
Happy New Year, Dlisters!
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P.S. Thank you to kokoskitten for changing your avie!
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"TISSUE, PLEEEEAZE!"
HNY Michael K, and here's to a new year of "your shit" and our crack.
And HNY to all the dlisted commenters, except for jules because s/he gets on my last fucking nerve.
Everybody drive safe, and by that, I mean don't drive if you're drinking.
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"TISSUE, PLEEEEAZE!"
Happy New Year to all. Thank you, Michael, for your witticisms and making me laugh.
OMG I just spied Kevin Smith playing the most annoying too fat to fly airline passenger ever! LOL! It was FUNNAY! This movie is pretty cool too:)
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
Got back just in time to wish all you brain-damaged bitches a Happy New Year! May it be filled with prime peen, happy lady parts, bong hits, delicious booze, and the death of any (or all) the Kardashians. I don't know you, but I love you all.
Especial XXOOs for Michael K, you fucking funny queen you! Come sit on my lap, anytime.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Happy New Year, MK!
Happy New Year to MK and all the sluts that make my workday go by so much faster!
*raises glass*
I love you, MK. Happy 2011.
Dealing with your shit every day makes my life a whole lot funnier, MK! Happy New Year to my fellow chihuahua parent and all my fellow Dlisted hos.
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"Sometimes the dick is so good you want to put their name on your checking account."
Submitted by Cookie-Slore on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 6:29pm.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 5:49pm.
I feel a special bond with those that will be drinking at home alone tonight.
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...I've been known to do that too many times, but tonight I've succumbed to actually accepting an invite at my gay best friends supper and clubbing. Bouncers better not charge me $50 at the entrance since they practically own most of the places. Ugh and tomorrow I have a family and relative brunch at 11:00...I don't know what state I'll be in but I've got my accessories ready. HAPPY, HAPPY 2011 wherever you are.
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Actually the Gestapo picked her up.
Happy New Year to all - MK and everyone else here who makes me laugh so hard everyday. I've actually lurked here for years but only started posting a few months ago (finally got a REAL job where I can fart away on the internet all day!) Love you all! Have fun and be safe!
May all you lovely sluts ring in the New Year with a bang!
May your cups overflow this new year, in every way possible. Thank you to you humorous commenters and MK for making a very rough year more bearable. MK-a special grassy ass to you, you funny ass slut. Abrazos!
*passes out noisemakers and champagne*
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"I won't work my looks no more..."
LOVE YOU MK and you make my day everyday!
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A ray of fucking sunshine.
Im with you DeeDee im closing in on my 4th year with Michael K!
Happy New Year my fellow Dlisters!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 6:16pm.
I am home. Not going out and I am eating lots of junk food and drinking Welch's sparkling grape juice! Aren't you all jealous?
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Nope because that's what I am doing!
Team Stay at home on New Year's Eve drinking Sparkling (Red) Grape Juice.
Christmas in Hollis courtesy of RUN-DMC...
Happy New Year everyone! I'm out!!
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Actually the Gestapo picked her up.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 5:49pm.
I feel a special bond with those that will be drinking at home alone tonight.
/\This. Glad it's not just me!
A toast to your hilarious ass, MK, and all the rest of you fabulous golden-hearted sluts, whose 24/7 comment festival of fuckery has kept me entertained since 08! Drunken New Years kisses to all!
Happy New Year MK and all you other Dlisted Beyotches!
I don't look at it as putting up with your shit, MK, so much as not falling into a coma from laughing at your shit! More shit in 2011!
You so ugly, you look like you got superpowers
Happy New Year to MK & all my fellow DListers!
MK,
Thank you for Dlisted. I love your sense of humor, and I am truly addicted to this website. Many hours of laundry, housework and life in general has been neglected thanks to you! LOL
Also, thank you for choosing me as a "Caption This" contest winner & runner-up 4 times.
I hope you have a safe new year, and I look forward to every new post.
XoXo
I can't tell if Snooki is scared or bored.
Happy New Year everybody!