But We Hardly Knew Her!
I am extremely disappointed with myself that I've never met Sebastian Bach's fantastically glamour flower of a wife before, and we're meeting for the first time under sad circumstances too.
All of the embalming fluid that Sebastian Bach drinks to keep his face looking like cold death must've went straight to his brains, because for some bizarre reason he is divorcing his beautiful wife of 18 years, Maria Bierk. Sebastian had this to say to TMZ about their split:
"We have tried to work things out for the sake of our family but it has become apparent that our differences at this point are irreconcilable. In 2011 we go our separate ways."
How in the hell is Sebastian going to let a woman go who looks like a delicate pussy willow that only blooms on the planet Apollonia once a year? Something ain't right. I mean, look at this picture from 2005. When you meet an elegant goddess who wears lace chokers out in public after 1996, you hold on to her tightly and do whatever it takes to keep her in your life! They are a rare and ravishing breed.
LACE CHOKER! Sebastian Bach needs a crash course in recognizing SHEER BEAUTY, because he obviously doesn't know anymore. LACE CHOKER!!!
• 
MK must have been bent: he failed to note her brows.
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"He used to wear a kilt and sing Scottish songs, but we knew."
Submitted by SarahR. on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 11:10pm.
Her boobs got a lot bigger!
2nd pic: Did they really dress like that for a benefit?
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Of course! They got dressed up as cancer and AIDS.
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
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Her boobs got a lot bigger!
2nd pic: Did they really dress like that for a benefit?
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 12:02pm.
Jo, forget JM, I want to know more about your early career on the teen show.
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Slitty, it's one of those things that sounds interesting yet it brings back mostly very bad memories to me: Rampant sexual harassment, bordering on assault, by sleazy, older men, bitchiness and backstabbing from the other women & lots of out-of-control drinking.
And that was just the interview :D
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Jo, forget JM, I want to know more about your early career on the teen show.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sat, 01/01/2011 - 11:24am.
I agree that JM was a jerk to talk to a young Jo like that, I've heard others say that the Mr. Mellencamp is a down-to-earth guy, maybe he learned some manners as he matured. I watched him in concert last year, and I lourved him
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Yeah, I'm sure he has matured, Slitty, at least I hope so. He was young himself and the interview was at 9 a.m. and he had played the night before, so he was tired, cranky and probably hungover.
I meanwhile was all bright-eyed and shiny with cherry lip gloss (!) (You know there's an *O* face not far behind, ahahaha)
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I agree that JM was a jerk to talk to a young Jo like that, I've heard others say that the Mr. Mellencamp is a down-to-earth guy, maybe he learned some manners as he matured. I watched him in concert last year, and I lourved him.
Ok 2 things:
1.LACE CHOKER! Wahaahahhahahahhahahaha
And
2.Did anyone else think that Sebby was Melissa Etheridge (sp?) In the top pic, or was it just me? I didn't read all the comments. :X
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Sebastian looks like a serial killer and all indicationsis he is an asshole...so who really gives a shit.
ill. Main pic's just ill.
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“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Too bad you couldn't have made "18 and life" with the missus, eh Sebby?
Submitted by Slurpee on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:56pm.
Any rock stars out there married to classy broads?
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Just Perry Farrell (evidence: see photo of the blushing bride in kitchen sink.)
LOL. Classy and clean.
You know, it takes so little for a celebrity to not be a jerk.
My sister once ran into JFK Jr. in the courthouse downtown NYC, in the elevator. She was completely starstruck and just kind of went slack-jawed when the elevator door opened and there he was. He just smiled, nodded at her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" Which of course only made her love him more, lol.
Acting like a big jerk to a teenager is just unforgivable. He could have just as easily had smiled and said something along the lines of, "It's great and it has its drawbacks too," and maybe shed some light on the realities of what it really takes to make it in the music business.
I hope you printed his answer verbatim.
You know, it takes so little for a celebrity to not be a jerk.
My sister once ran into JFK Jr. in the courthouse downtown NYC, in the elevator. She was completely starstruck and just kind of went slack-jawed when the elevator door opened and there he was. He just smiled, nodded at her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" Which of course only made her love him more, lol.
Acting like a big jerk to a teenager is just unforgivable. He could have just as easily had smiled and said something along the lines of, "It's great and it has its drawbacks too," and maybe shed some light on the realities of what it really takes to make it in the music business.
I hope you printed his answer verbatim.
@Joe Schmoe - oh, so sorry, I forgot the link!
Here it is:
http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/WVlKmNS3SfX/Celebration+Paul+Newman+Hole+...
It looks like he has decided to stop dying his hair, which is commendable, but he really needs to lose the pompadour. The cane is beyond pretentious. She still looks gorgeous at 40.
Sebastian had a reality show on VH1 a while back. He is a high-maintenance pissy bitch. I'm surprised she put up with his ass for so long. At least she got a nice rack out of the dea.
He was really hoping you'd ask him what it was like to be a Cougar.
Submitted by moonmaid on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 6:18pm
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Aww thanks! Just so you know I'm not being a total panty-wadder, here is an example of what a jerk he was. I was a little more than a kid, interviewing him for a music segment for a teen's tv show. I'm all nervous and freakin' out, cuz it's JOHN COUGAR, man!!
Me: (gulping convulsively and trying not to make eye contact, in case I go blind from staring directly at his hawtness.) "So, what's it like being a rock star?"
Mr Cougar: *rolls eyes*, sighs heavily at my utter stupidity, "Whada YOU think?"
It was all downhill from there :O
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@joe schmoe -
This recent pic ought to make you feel better. She still looks smokin', while his picture in the attic has obviously been discovered.
I always thought he seemed like a jerk. This was his third wife and she was like 20 years younger than him.
"It's odd that I still harbour a grudge against this guy because it was so long ago. I met him in the course of my work and I was young and very nervous and he was so rude & dismissive; he made me feel like a POS.
I'm glad he's sweaty and beat. I hope his wife was rude and dismissive and he felt like a POS."
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It's funny, but celebrities who act like jerks to us we always remember, and we also always remember the ones who act kind - you'd think they would just make the tiniest effort to be sort of nice. I used to love that website bitterwaitress.com, that talked about how celebrities had treated their wait staff. The biggest jerks were the ones you would think right away are jerks.
Is that Max Headroom in a wig with an Asian hooker? Never mind - of course it is.
Lord, he was pretty. The 80's sure had some hot-looking men. I remember thinking then that Billy Idol was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen.
I'd still do his old, skanky ass. Billy's, not Sebastian's.
★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
I'd like the coffin to be white, and I want it specially lined with satin. White ... or pink. Maybe red! Bright flaming red! Let's make it gay!
★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
I remember when Bach was dating Christina Applegate and wearing shirts that said "AIDS kills fags dead." He got tons of shit for it and said he wouldn't want anyone wearing a shirt that says "Cancer kills grandmas dead" since his grandmother had just died of cancer. I've always thought he was such an asshole. Wonder if dating Applegate was for show if he was married to this trick.
Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:17pm.
Catholicschoolgirl- Yeah I mean that they weren't fake like Poison, Skid Row was at least a "band" in the sense that they weren't industry-produced at the very beginning (they formed a band as friends rather than being "assembled" or something). But I liked Motley Crue and GnR too, haha. I was a kid when that stuff was big, but right after is when I got into old punk, new wave and post-punk. I seriously couldn't begin to cover my faves now since I like a lot of genres. If I had to say I listen to punk, old goth, electro, ebm, and britpop. I love electronic music of the darker variety, and I also like jangly rock stuff (things found in the NME-- no shame).
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I see what you mean now about them not being fake or manufactured. I love music and music history, and grew up listening to my older brothers' classic rock collection(Beatles, Stones, Led Zep, Aerosmith, Pink Floyd, Clapton and OZZIE, LOL). I've since discovered the blues and classic r&b (with great suggestions provided by Bam Bam - love ya Bam) and am addicted to it. I love MK but I can't listen to anything from the 80's "pop genre" - it hurts my ears and pains my soul. I haven't listened to much punk or old goth but see it referenced here alot, and know it has a prominent place in music history (maybe more in England then in America?) Any suggestions for a punk newbie?
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:22pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:16pm.
The recent photos I'm seeing of them together make him look sweaty, smoky, and beat
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It's odd that I still harbour a grudge against this guy because it was so long ago. I met him in the course of my work and I was young and very nervous and he was so rude & dismissive; he made me feel like a POS.
I'm glad he's sweaty and beat. I hope his wife was rude and dismissive and he felt like a POS.
*taking blood pressure*
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Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:16pm.
The recent photos I'm seeing of them together make him look sweaty, smoky, and beat.
OT: Squid roe!
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:04pm.
His wife was too young, pretty, and tall for him. She never got over the loss of his fake middle name.
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Now that is some funny s*it!
Christmas in Hollis courtesy of RUN-DMC...
Catholicschoolgirl- Yeah I mean that they weren't fake like Poison, Skid Row was at least a "band" in the sense that they weren't industry-produced at the very beginning (they formed a band as friends rather than being "assembled" or something). But I liked Motley Crue and GnR too, haha. I was a kid when that stuff was big, but right after is when I got into old punk, new wave and post-punk. I seriously couldn't begin to cover my faves now since I like a lot of genres. If I had to say I listen to punk, old goth, electro, ebm, and britpop. I love electronic music of the darker variety, and I also like jangly rock stuff (things found in the NME-- no shame).
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:04pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:01pm.
His wife was too young, pretty, and tall for him. She never got over the loss of his fake middle name
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That's right - she's a model, isn't she? When I met him he was still 'cougar' and taking himself way too seriously for someone with that moniker.
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Submitted by nunya_bizness on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:54pm.
Skanks and rock stars go hand in hand.
How did Ozzy end up with a then chubby Sharon? Any rock stars out there married to classy broads?
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I sure can't think of any. Springsteen's wife isn't a porn star, but she fucked around with him openly while he was married to his first wife.
Duff's (from Guns N Roses) wife almost sounds decent on paper, but she's gonna be on that Rock Wives show, so she'll probably end up trashy. Plus, I think his other ex-wives were all strippers/porn stars.
But hell, it seems like all the young girls look up to porn stars these days, so maybe I don't have a clue about what's "classy" anymore.
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"TISSUE, PLEEEEAZE!"
She looks like a mutant version of Illeana Douglas.
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"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 4:01pm.
His wife was too young, pretty, and tall for him. She never got over the loss of his fake middle name.
Submitted by Slurpee on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:48pm.
TMZ has the Mellancamp breakup a few posts after this Bach mess
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Thanks, will check it out.
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Submitted by nunya_bizness on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:54pm.
Skanks and rock stars go hand in hand.
How did Ozzy end up with a then chubby Sharon? Any rock stars out there married to classy broads?
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I think that Sharon was an employee at the firm that repped him....and I think her dad was involved also in his pr. Maybe she took him over and became like a mother figure, making sure he ate, didn't set fire to the cat and made it to all his rehearsals & gigs on time. And by mother figure, I mean a foul-mouthed, nasty harridan.
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Any rock stars out there married to classy broads?
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Just Perry Farrell (evidence: see photo of the blushing bride in kitchen sink.)
Skanks and rock stars go hand in hand.
How did Ozzy end up with a then chubby Sharon? Any rock stars out there married to classy broads?
TMZ has the Mellancamp breakup a few posts after this Bach mess.
Submitted by Slurpee on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 2:03pm.
Everyone's breaking up! John Mellancamp and his wife too
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Really? I met him a long time ago and he was arsehole. Not that that necessarily has anything to do with this.
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Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:17pm.
I'll stand by him having an AMAZING voice back in the day (to those referencing his musical ability). Skid Row were one of the less stupid of that generation of bands.
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Pink, I never listened to Skid Row, so I'll have to YouTube their vids to hear his voice. I don't know anything about the band (but love your description of 'less stupid' - is that a compliment? LOL). Did he play an instrument? Write a song that stands out in any way? A great voice is one thing, but I have more respect for singers/musicians/songwriters who get acclaim for their musical talent, rather then good-looks.
I'm curious, who are your favorite singers/bands?
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
I'll stand by him having an AMAZING voice back in the day (to those referencing his musical ability). Skid Row were one of the less stupid of that generation of bands.
Love the fact that everyone references his good looks back in the day, but nothing regarding any musical ability. Cut your hair douchebag, the 80's are long gone. And if he's a drunk, he ain't rockin the groupies. Whiskey dick anyone?
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
Wow! All I see when looking at him, is Melissa Ethridge!
LACE CHOKER!!!: Early prototypes from the Phoebe Price collection?
Most likely she got sick of his drunken, immature behavior. She better make sure she takes a good chunk of change to keep those cans looking full and not crooked.
Thanks for the metal history lesson Spiffy McSpitshine. I didn't know any of those details - pretty interesting! I wonder how their kids turned out so far?
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"don't even try shitting on my rainbow!!" ~ Fucking_Classy
Don't care but will only say Sebastian Bach was the prettiest rockdog ever.....
18 and life....
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
"Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country".
Sebastian has always been a hot-head. I've seen him pull hissy fits on interviews several times. That said, he was beautiful in his prime.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
Everyone's breaking up! John Mellancamp and his wife too. :(
God he was hot as fuck when Skid Row first started.
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"Fuck tomatoes!" - MK 8/11/10
he is a REAL arrogant prick, for real. I saw him in a few reality shows and thee is nothing terribly likeable about him...but why the hell do these fucktard musicians go for the same plastic ass tranny looking ho's??? I mean I lose all respect for musicians that can't step up and marry a normal looking woman. It just demeans them back to asshole status.