Joe Francis Basically Ripped Off Ryan Reynolds' Exit Statement
After first denying that his 7-week-old marriage is permanently stuck in the septic tank on the Girls Gone Wild bus, titty pimp Joe Francis has now confirmed that the rumor is true and his one-minute wife Christina McLarty has quit his ass for good. Joe issued a statement of words to UsWeekly which is almost the exact same message that Ryan Reynolds and ScarJo left on all of our voicemails after their marriage ended. This is ScarRey's statement from earlier this month:
"After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we've decided to end our marriage. We entered our relationship with love and it's with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn't expected, it's certainly appreciated."
And this is Joe's:
"After careful and thoughtful consideration on both our parts, Christina and I have mutually decided to end our relationship. We entered into our relationship with love and it’s with love and kindness that we leave it. We wish each other the best for the future.”
HAHAHAHAHA. That shit is the best. So much "thoughtful consideration" was put into their break-up that they couldn't even push out another ounce of "thoughtful consideration" for their exit statement so they just COPY AND PASTED that bitch! But there's still a glaring typo. Christina didn't enter with love. Bitch entered DRUNK AS FUCK and is now leaving completely sober, scarred for life, with broken knuckles (from punching the wall instead of punching Joe's Everlast-brand face) and a future filled with therapy bills and Silkwood showers.
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Fuckin classic!
Yeah, he's definitely slime (no arguing that) BUT as far as GGW goes, those skanks aren't exactly being forced to flash their tits in front of the camera. It's just a bunch of attention whores trying to get back at the same daddy who's paying to put them through college.
That said, this Christina girl was clearly only marrying for money. If she had no idea what he was like, she had to have been living under a rock. I don't feel bad for her at all. Gold digging FAIL.
For a dude who's career aspiration is to convince drunken underage college chicks to "show us your tits", it's hilarious the douchebag can't get a chick to commit to him; his wife quit him after only 7 weeks (how much of an insufferable megalomaniac must you be for that to happen) and to even get laid he has to settle for STD riddled skanks like paris hilton & tara reid... and even those slutty hos kicked his ass to the curb. What a loser...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Yeah, Wynn casino sued Joe in NV. Wiki says: "Francis attended a deposition in connection with the lawsuit and tried to take the fifth amendment with respect to almost all questions asked, including whether or not he owned a cell phone. During the deposition Francis repeatedly took out his cell phone and appeared to answer emails, and at one point took a call. Ultimately, the judge in the case ruled that Francis was liable for the entire $2 million, calling Francis’ conduct 'the most ridiculous exercise of the Fifth Amendment I think I’ve ever seen.' Francis is expected to appeal the judge's ruling."
hahaha. Go, Joe!
This asshat should give us our privacy and keep this stupid shit to himself. Famewhore.
She woke up and smelled the coffee.
Christmas in Hollis courtesy of RUN-DMC...
Hey MizRo.
Christmas in Hollis courtesy of RUN-DMC...
I laughed out loud!
I love how the only originality and deviation from the template in the second statement was to NOT ask that their privacy be respected!
LOL! This guy just keeps finding ways to keep it klassy. He's AMAZING!!!!1!!!1!!
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
did she lose a bet? was she roofied for two months? is she blind or utterly without taste?
Joe Francis is a prick...and he will be married again soon to another delusional woman. I heard he owed money to some big casino in Vegas, I will be more than happy to go break his kneecaps anytime!! What a fugly turd through and through...BTW HAPPY F'REAKING NEW YEARS SLUTZ AND HORZ!!
EDITED: Barcelona!?! You're in my ancestral Country Triston; Happy New Year, love and I'll be back tomorrow!
I'm out... Triston, missed you again but my best for this coming new year! email me darling!
Be well and safe all. My new avie is in celebration of 2011: I foresee a better year for all! *hugs*
MizRo!!!!
kisses/hugs/sangria from Barcelona!!!
Happy New Year!!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Triston?? My Heaux? *muah* *muah* *muah*
I despise these sappy, hypocritical blatherings that their reps come up with. (Or in this case, the sappy, hypocritical blatherings that they steal from other reps)
Tell the f-ing truth, why don't you?
"We now hate each other and want a divorce. Please feel free to give this as much press as possible"
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Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 11:52am.
Ahahahaha, Nitty! See my shoe? See that stiletto? Need I say more?
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Hmm..Atomic Wedgie 9000 accompanied by the loss of an eye?
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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois
After thoughtful consideration? Bitch, you were married less than 2 months and you're a complete fucking retard! There was not thought involved! Fucking hang yourself. And correct me if I'm wrong, but the "marriage" wasn't even really a marriage. It was some kind of civil ceremony or some shit. So who. The fuck. Cares.
And those teeth...I can't.
*goes back to anxiously staring out the window watching for Dominos delivery guy*
I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.
Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 11:31am.
Ahh, to be PMSing and have this bastard alone in a room with no cameras and a baseball bat.
*dreamy sigh*
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Ahahahaha, Nitty! See my shoe? See that stiletto? Need I say more?
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A misogynist at Joe's level treats women like slaves; the longer you stay the worse he becomes. I bet he declared complete ownership of her within weeks of their marriage by giving her a solid pop in the mouth to let her know her place.
I will respect their privacy.
Submitted by mike on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 11:41am.
*blushes*
Thank you ;-)
OK I DIDN'T READ ANY OF THE TEXT MK POSTED COS I WAS BUSY DRINKING, BUT IS IT JUST THE VODKA IN ME OR DOES HE LOOK LIKE A RETARDED BABY BY ZACK BRAFF (???) AND THE GUY WHO PLAYED THE FLY - GOLDBLUM SOMETHING OR FUCKING OTHER?
BUT WITH A HEAD SHAPED LIKE A PAPAYA?
7 Week Itch?
WTF?!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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cute alert!
http://comedy.video.yahoo.com/?l=3774749&v=7652402
Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 11:20am.
Your rant about the Kardassians was worthy of a dlisted Pulitzer. Bravo!
She looks completly embarrassed to be photographed with him.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 11:31am.
Misogynist, pedophile, plagiarist--this guy is the total package, ladies.
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I SAW HIM FIRST!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Ahh, to be PMSing and have this bastard alone in a room with no cameras and a baseball bat.
*dreamy sigh*
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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois
Misogynist, pedophile, plagiarist--this guy is the total package, ladies.
_________________________
They call me girl
They call me Stacey
They call me her
They call me Jane
That's not my name
He is so ugly (inside and out). He has the wrinkly bluey thin skin hardcore cokeheads get under their eyes, Giada De Laurentiis shark teeth and a busted nose job, gross gross gross.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Who the fuck are these assholes?
LaChaylo: Thank you love, and the best ever year to you and yours!! *muah*
Yup, yup, I grew up on some mean streets and I hope that we're around to see Francis suffer and rot.
Submitted by MizRo on Fri, 12/31/2010 - 11:11am.
parkerj: I would prefer a full beat down including a curb sandwich resulting in his grisly death.
Yeah, I roll like that when it comes to slime.
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Happy New Year's Eve, MizRo!!
I love how you roll. This disgusting piece of shit deserves that and some. I hope there's a camera crew taping his suffering in his VIP room in hell.
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"I won't work my looks no more..."
@Rusty....hahahhahahaa HELL YES to the Mad Lib idea!
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Never trust someone who bears his bottom teeth while smiling.
it was obvious she was after money...cause he is ugly as fuck!!!!
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Gawd, he is disgusting. He looks like a muppet
12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
parkerj: I would prefer a full beat down including a curb sandwich resulting in his grisly death.
Yeah, I roll like that when it comes to slime.
Somebody punch Joe Francis in the face already and post it on youtube so I can watch that shit on repeat!!!
GAH!
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
She' so pretty...
WHY would she even consider laying with this child-rapist and misogynist? Oh, that's right, money... *eyeroll*
I'm not sure you need such an elaborate send-off for a two-year marriage, let alone a seven-week one.
You could make a fun Mad Lib out of it, though: "After careful and [adjective] [noun] on both our parts..."
Buddy has a lot of teeth.