Thursday, December 23rd 2010
John Mayer Gives Great Advice
John Mayer was out at a bar on the Upper East Side in NYC recently when some girl sashayed up to him to get her vagina cleaned off with his doucheified words of wisdom. You can always count on John for that. Page Six says that after John and the girl chatted a bit, he gave her the key to a long-lasting happy relationship:
"He said that she was going to make someone very happy one day, as long as she remembered to talk dirty while having sex," the source said. The girl walked away speechless.
Dirty like "I want your David Duke dick to set the cross in my crotch on fire..."? Yes, that's the secret! But importantly, is it just me or does John Mayer's mouth look like an inhaling anus in that picture?
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Grüße Fräulein, Sturm-Verbot-Führer, an excrement tuna in the day, when you can intercept beyond hundreds pounds of gamberetto
At first I thought that was Vince Gill, but then I realized he is just getting fat and looks like shit.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
um he's right.
This picture is hideous..
"So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire"
He's so self-aware and yet continues to talk shit everywhere he goes. He's compulsive. And a douche.
His mouth looks like a butthole in that pic....
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
he is truly a dipshit.
Off topic: But I was at Wal Mart getting some cards and Taylor Swift has her own line of Xmas cards out. I frowned. =(
I know Rambo here is usually a douchenozzle, but to me, this just sounded like a joke, one of those groaners you can go out on.
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 3:41pm.
Pray tell, how is it that this douche gets any tail whatsoever?
It's the bulge in his pants (his wallet, not the peen).
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Pray tell, how is it that this douche gets any tail whatsoever?
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Submitted by will.i.am on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 1:36pm.
*talk dirty to me*... IMMA PISS ON YOUR FACE! I'LL SHIT ON THESE WALLS RAY!
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*falls outta chair*
This is exactly what come to mind...love scary movies!ahahahahahaha.
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 2:19pm.
ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 2:07pm.
Bahahaha! Exactly. I bet he wrote her a fuckword script.
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Meh. I prefer talking dirty while I'm in the check-out line at the grocery store, or sitting in the dentist's waiting room.
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It may be the search for an intense aesthetic experience, for exquisite sensations...~Giusto Gervasutti
Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 2:13pm.
Submitted by OneLiner on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 1:59pm.
OMG I just want to go home already and get my Christmas on!
who cares about Douchestatic Mayer?
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Me too...wish my work would let us out early. No can do though...the phones are still ringing and people still want stuff, so we stay open. :(
As for dirty talk...Douche Mayer is talking about REALLY dirty talk. Like "Ooh yeah baby, I wanna see you poop and rub myself in it!" I bet that totally gets him hot. LOL.
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Sorry to hear that, my job is closing at Noon which is in about 5 mins (Cali Time) FINALLY!!!!!
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 2:07pm.
Bahahaha! Exactly. I bet he wrote her a fuckword script.
Here ya go, JJ - don't be sloppy n spill.
xtra dirtee - you do like blue cheese stuff olives, right?
*slurps*
Submitted by OneLiner on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 1:59pm.
OMG I just want to go home already and get my Christmas on!
who cares about Douchestatic Mayer?
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Me too...wish my work would let us out early. No can do though...the phones are still ringing and people still want stuff, so we stay open. :(
As for dirty talk...Douche Mayer is talking about REALLY dirty talk. Like "Ooh yeah baby, I wanna see you poop and rub myself in it!" I bet that totally gets him hot. LOL.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
The headband, the tattoos, the muscle shirt, the acoustic guitar held upright, the pursed lips -- That could be the single douchiest image in history, and I'm including Jersey Shore and Jermaine Jackson here.
Yep, xmas started for me. . .hub just made me a Christmas Martini. . .carry on slagg'n old douche.
Pass tha martini over!
No wonder he coined Jessica Simpson as sexual napalm. You know that bitch NEVER shuts the fuck up. He just got her to channel it into bucknasty words instead of straight up stupid ones.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
I thought every woman knew this. And men love dirty talk...trust
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 1:59pm.
Mine old lady says stuff like, "did you cum or did your colostomy bag break again?"
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Bwahahahahahaha! You old dog, you!
He looks like a cartoon character.
I'm sure he'll make some blind, deaf chick very happy one day. Because she won't be able to read his Twitter or hear his verbal vomit.
Submitted by Slurpee on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 1:49pm.
He should hook up with White Oprah.
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That would be a great "it" couple to hope for in 2011 !
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 1:59pm.
Mine old lady says stuff like, "did you cum or did your colostomy bag break again?"
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ahahahahahhahhaaa
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
OMG I just want to go home already and get my Christmas on!
who cares about Douchestatic Mayer?
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
Mine old lady says stuff like, "did you cum or did your colostomy bag break again?"
I still would.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
I think he steals the trophy for biggest douche ever.
I liked when Roger Ebert Tweeted in response to JM a picture of him with his devoted Black wife saying what's not to like. Team Mr. and Mrs. Ebert!
I agree! That was great of him. :) Team interracial relationships. Actually team real love- regardless of race, class, or culture.
John Mayer. The douchebag Dr. Ruth.
Raul's old lady talks dirty to him, shit like " GIT OFF ME YOU FAT BASTARD!" ************************************************************************************************ Butt-head: This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.
He should hook up with White Oprah.
John needs to shut his mouth FOREVER...and concentrate on playing guitar.
Disgusting pig that he is.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Thu, 12/23/2010 - 1:42pm.
Any chick that tries to make it with John Mayer deserves whatever she gets.
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Hear hear.
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://nearscape.com/
is it even him...whatever...he sucks donkey balls...is that dirty talk
Giada, how could you? Honestly.
Any chick that tries to make it with John Mayer deserves whatever she gets.
He probably just lays in the sack like a piece of dead wood and expects the woman to do all the work.
anyway, actions always speak louder than words. I WANNA ACTION YOUR DICK YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Is he wearing a headband? Have we traveled backwards in time?
"I want your David Duke dick to set the cross in my crotch on fire..."?
Hahahahaha!!! Now I have an overwhelming urge to douche with holy water. Damn.
John Mayer is one giant, fucking anus.
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"I won't work my looks no more..."
Not that there are any fortunate pics of John Meyer, but that one up there is sooo fucked up, i kinda question that that`s him.
Team Dirty Talk!!
fuck those goddamn son of a horses i got better things to do like love landwhale and bake some bread and tell some fuckers to fuck off.----charlie m.
His tattoos suck balls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk0xCSkKeqA
*talk dirty to me*... IMMA PISS ON YOUR FACE! I'LL SHIT ON THESE WALLS RAY!
Pffft. "Talking dirty" sounds phony 99% of the time.
*throws hands up*
I do not get his appeal.
At all.
uh-uh.
nope.
And I will harshly judge anyone who says different. lol. seriously I will. sorry 'bout that in advance.