Tuesday, December 21st 2010
Balloon Boy Wants You To Do The Bear Scratch
If Blanket Jackson cloned himself twice and started a Hanson tribute band, it would look just like this latest nugget of fuckery cooked up by Richard Heene (aka Balloon Boy's dad). Richard has a totally useless piece of shit product out called the Bear Scratch, which is literally just a piece of wood, and has forced his boys out onto the ho stroll to whore that mess out for him in a music video. The result will make you want to scratch your eardrums and eyeballs out on the nearest tree. And since the nearest tree is almost 2 blocks away, I guess I'll have to buy a Bear Scratch. Fuck.
And I can't wait to see the leather bears get down to the dance remix version of this at The Eagle.
via Media Bistro
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So.....ashamed....*hangs head low*
...went to the website.
It's an honest-to-god piece of fucking wood from a real tree that you stick to a wall in your house and then you rub up against it like an animal.
That man's photo will appear in Webster's next to "asshat" in 4....3...2....
Sickness.
Am not down with.
Did not click on this because their father is a stupid bitch.
Submitted by LunaChick on Tue, 12/21/2010 - 5:22pm.
Submitted by M.E. I refuse to watch this shit or give this famewhoring family ANY attention.
I was going to say the exact same thing, so ditto.
Every click on the video is giving that useless "father" exactly what he wants - attention.
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Thirded.
This fucker STILL has custody of his kids?
Blueyz-they won't get any shit at school-they're homeschooled, probably because their dad wants them to have more time to do shit like make this video. Iimagine having this mofo not only be your dad, but also your teacher. Ugh.
I'm really sick and tired of shitheads breeding. That is all.
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
Inventor? Inventor of what? Bullshit was around a long time ago, douche. You can't claim it.
"I'm Richard Heene, the inventor". WTF? I'm ashamed I wached 20 seconds of the video on his website. This surely will drive traffic to his site, we're contributing to this madness, we should all feel guilty.
*** what goes down, must come up ***
These people are awful, just awful people
@LA - Jon Gosselin is a better person than these Heenes for sure. I never hated him, because I saw clips of the early seasons of the show and he just seemed like he wanted out of it and Kate seemed like a horrendous harpy. I honestly was baffled that the media stayed on her side for so long, she is clearly a wretched selfish woman.
- Fern Mayo, like hold the mayo
Let's use it upside his fucking head!!! Maybe we can beat the shit out of him so he dies and leaves that poor family alone.
Doesn't he owe restitution or something??..
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
I can't watch it. I'm too busy licking Twat Muffin's avvie...
that was fuckin' painful to listen to...their parents should be shot!!! Well, at least the father, anyway!
Submitted by M.E. I refuse to watch this shit or give this famewhoring family ANY attention.
I was going to say the exact same thing, so ditto.
Every click on the video is giving that useless "father" exactly what he wants - attention.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
That video has all the warmth and charm of a head-on collision. You know you should look away, but somehow, you just can't.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
horrible parents, horrible kids
there must be something CPS can do... Damn, this is wrong.
These kids must catch daily beatings from the kids they go to school with. Their father should be jailed.
*~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²~²
Dear Santa,
Please define naughty...
Wait, I thought this guy was in jail. Why is he still putting his children through public humiliation?
Those boys look like little girls.. Girlie boys.
These kids are so fucked up-their parents need to be hosed off and tied outside to freeze to death slowly and painfully.
I am more woman that you'll ever have and more man than you will ever be.
the youngest kid could totally pass for tila tequila.
Submitted by Starqz on Tue, 12/21/2010 - 3:10pm.
Anyone remember that awful video they did a few years ago where the boys rapped to a song where they said "These pajamas are PUSSIFIED!"?
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Yes, that was the first thing that popped in my head, closely followed by "shoot me now"...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
I'd just like to say...that link to that bear bar as some of the most UNAPPEALING bears I have ever seen! None of'em are chubby! They're all muscular and sinewy! Gross!
oh, and balloon boys dad's a dick
Werd.
Anyone remember that awful video they did a few years ago where the boys rapped to a song where they said "These pajamas are PUSSIFIED!"?
I'm in no mood to dig it up on YouTube but it is even more offensive..
Damn! I watched that excrement and I have to wonder why DCS hasn't taken these kids away from their parents yet.
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Mel Gibson needs an enema.
Richard Heene should follow his role model Jon Gosselin's lead and go out and get a regular job.
What the FUCK! I only made it 23 seconds. wow.
Submitted by OneLiner on Tue, 12/21/2010 - 2:44pm.
I remember watching "wife Swap" thinking that guy is out of his freaking mind! and the wife totally non-existant! and the kids were such a mess like little animals.....that whole episode was just crazy and thats why i recognized them right away when the ballon thing happened and totally didn't buy it...lol
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hahahahahaha NO SHIT!!! I totally agree!! that wife swap episode was so fucked up (they all were really... I HATE THAT SHOW!!!)
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Cute kids. Loathe the parents.
No thanks on the bear scratch but how about a pair of scissors so I can cut your girlie hair boys.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
I love sincerely awful "art" like Valley of the Dolls and Noah Cyrus, and I loved this. In the (near) future we will be hearing more about these boys, more along the lines of MSNBC's criminal weekends rather than on E! Network's nonstop pop shlock.
Dick Heene is an awful, awful person. Get a job and stop schilling stupid crap. Gross. I would die if that was my dad. I'd rather Michael Lohan be my father.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
I will not watch because my eyes cannot unsee after I hit play. I learned that on this site already.
I remember watching "wife Swap" thinking that guy is out of his freaking mind! and the wife totally non-existant! and the kids were such a mess like little animals.....that whole episode was just crazy and thats why i recognized them right away when the ballon thing happened and totally didn't buy it...lol
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
LAME
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Oh this is truly horrid. I actually built up the courage (bored at work) to go to that website and nearly passed out after reading the testimonial where the guy actually tuned his guitar to play along to that - can't really call it a "song." W T F!
Of course this ultimate famewhore is back. No one really expected him to stay away.
*barf*
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
I'm still pissed at this douchebag family for wasting HOURS of my day watching CNN stream the balloon live.
DIAF!
I know it isn't the kids fault that their father is a supreme dick, but don't give this family any of your time, MK! Shit.
"Google me, you dumb fuck!", said some punk bitch rookie cop.
Not bad. Not bad at all. Can you download it yet?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMhO0Kfl5Ck&feature=related
Permission to dislike children and/or to call a few douches in training?
THIS moron is back? He obviously wasn't locked up long enough.
I feel bad for those kids. Their father is complete lunatic and uses them to chase his pipe dream of becoming rich and famous any way he can. Those kids should be in school, not making YouTube videos shilling for their dad's POS inventions.
Buy it so they can build a bigger balloon that they all get in and then be shot outta the sky. ************************************************************************************************ Butt-head: This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.
good luck selling that shit when anyone can literally nail a branch to a wall and scratch for free at their heart's content.
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they took their relationship from "May I borrow some sugar?" to "May I lick sugar off your ass crack?" - MK
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I mostly remember balloon boy for ripping a loud fart during a serious morning interview and everyone around pretending it didn't happen. If that was my kid I couldn't keep a straight face.
I got through 30 seconds. Is that record breaking? I must admit my volume was turned pretty low.
Hell No.
Damn. Sarah Palin should have went camping with the Balloon Boy family. They would have been less whiny than Kate.