Spider-Man The Musical Is Cursed
It looks like the opening night performance for Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark will now be held at Lenox Hill Hospital's physical therapy room. I mean, this $65 million mess is turning into Larry H. Parker's workers comp wet dream come true. In case you don't already know, the Julie Taymor-directed and U2-penned (Ugh, I know) Broadway musical has delayed its opening a couple of times due to creative changes and has claimed 3 performer injuries. Well, add another one to the list, because the show was cut short last night after stunt actor Christopher Tierney (who does the flying stunts for the Spider-Man character) fell from a platform into the pit when the rope holding him snapped. Okay, when even the ropes are pulling some "I QUIT THIS BITCH" shit, it's time to shut it down and leave that flying crap to the Cirque du Soleil people.
The New York Times says that towards the very very end of the show, Mary Jane falls into the pit and Spider-Man is supposed to jump down to save her. But instead of the two rising triumphantly from the pit, Mary Jane screamed and started crying like the critics will be on opening night. The house lights immediately went up and everyone was told to go home. 911 was called and Christopher was taken to Bellevue Hospital Center by ambulance. Christopher gave the thumbs up as he was shuffled into the ambulance, and apparently he suffered minor injuries and will be released soon. Clip of Christopher free falling to pain below (courtesy of TMZ):
This Faces of Death shit hasn't even opened yet and people are already bleeding for it. It's not right when the cast members are updating their wills, taking out bigger life insurance policies, calling their loved ones before every show to say "I love you..." and making the sign of the cross over their faces when they sashay out on stage. Don't ever say "break a leg" to a Spider-Man cast member, because it will probably happen.
On a positive note, if Julie Taymor's main goal is to lure Nascar fans to Broadway, it's working.
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They need to either shut down and forget about it or revamp the show and take out all of the dangerous parts. Obviously something isn't working and the accidents are getting worse.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
If Taymor, Bono and The Edge think this production is worth dying for, then by all means let them do the stunts. Fucking assholes.
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"Even Russell Crowe has a charity for the victims of his mood swings." ~ Dot Com
Time for the producers to cut their losses before they kill the entire effing cast! As for the "minor injuries," NYT claims the poor guy broke some ribs and had internal bleeding. I suppose this crazy shit will keep on going as long as people are buying tickets for it, but holy crap, what a clusterfuck of stupidity.
I don't give a shit about Musical spider-Man, so instead I'll comment on the photo of Depressed Spider-Man.
That's actually Mexican spider-Man! He swings and flips on the top of that yellow doorway in Playa Del Carmen. I like him.
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Whatevs, man. Whatevs.
First of, who thought Spiderman would be a good idea for Broadway?
You know what movie needs to be taken to Broadway? Friday.
I would fly up there and pay for the overpriced ticket to see that shit.
Imagine dying or crippling yourself for the amusement of some fatso tourists from the mid-west. It's about as exciting as watching a chef catch fire in an Applebees.
Spiderman, Spiderman
watch him fall on his big ass can
badly staged, crappy songs
a bad idea, all kinds of wrong
Say there, this ain't like Peter Pan
Hey there, this flop's called
Spidermaaaaaan!
This truly sounds like the worst idea for a musical. Ever. I honestly don't think I'd go see it, even for free - and certainly not for Broadway prices. The fact that U2 is writing the music just makes it even worse. This sounds like torture.
How come no shit like this happened when I went to see The Lion King? This is the only thing that could have saved that show.
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Funny how they always seem to land butter side down.
Is Mop-Head from DWTS in this hot mess? That would explain some things.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 12/21/2010 - 11:46am.
this smells of sabotage a la Phantom of the Paradise. Or someone is looking to cash in on that insurance.
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They had that theme in 'All That Jazz'!
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this smells of sabotage a la Phantom of the Paradise. Or someone is looking to cash in on that insurance.
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they took their relationship from "May I borrow some sugar?" to "May I lick sugar off your ass crack?" - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 12/21/2010 - 11:33am.
Maybe they need to dial it back a little.
This is what happens when you're more ambitious than competent. Now in corporate America, the culprit gets a golden parachute. On Broadway, somebody busts their asses.
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You know... I just watched ALL THAT JAZZ (1977) on Netflix. It were fg awesome. Lately I've been watching all these old movies about Broadway and it's really interesting how much value people in the trade put on movies vs. stage. I'm an ignorant slut about these things. If you're interested, some good movies on this topic are 'Imitation of Life', 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane', 'The Barefoot Contessa', 'All That Jazz', and 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf'. Netflix is the greatest thing since the Walkman.
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Isn't this the thing that's being backed by Bono? I mean, he's like a producer or something on this. That picture of Spider Man in Woe is really disturbing/awesome.
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Maybe they need to dial it back a little.
This is what happens when you're more ambitious than competent. Now in corporate America, the culprit gets a golden parachute. On Broadway, somebody busts their ass!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
People with recording devices at musicals are as irritating as crying babies. It's a copyright infringement.
Speaking of Spider Man you must watch this now classic Youtube Video...hehehe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBFvu4FiYds
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 12/21/2010 - 10:52am.
That green thing is scary! Hold me!
Nope. Your bethrothed will smash my melon with a hockey stick :)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMhO0Kfl5Ck&feature=related
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts: " ...While I wish everyone good health I am sick and tired of all of this Disney/family friendly/"movie celebrity wants to do theater" crap that has overrun Broadway"
My sentiments exactly!
Back before we had kids, Mr. Hekki and would do these "free" date nights. We'd have a cheap dinner, lots of drinks and find free entertainment in NYC. We roamed all over the city, seeing off-off-off-Broadway plays, improv comedy and musical performances. It was AWESOME. We saw some crazy, original, fun, experimental shit in little dive places and even if it sucked, it was WAY more exciting and stimulating than any old Spider Man musical and over-produced crap.
Awww, I miss those days...
Has there been a SATC play done yet? Mario Cantone was in my dream last night (don't judge) and he's good live. has to be better than this dangerous dreck.
*chanting as always*
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Tue, 12/21/2010 - 10:48am.
Is Christopher a homosexual?
Funny enough...YES. What are you going to do about it? Have a wank thinking about him?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMhO0Kfl5Ck&feature=related
That green thing is scary! Hold me!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
what an overbloated mess. i'm actually looking forward to Ghost the Musical which will open in London next year. i was skeptical at first but the music isn't that bad.
http://www.ghostthemusical.com/
It's cursed because it's a BAD IDEA.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
Is Christopher a homosexual?
Show me some art and I'll give you a buck. Guarantee I'll see someone fall, I'll give you a $20.
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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois
Oh my God, that's awful! U2! Ugh, I hate U2 so much!
So will thespians for generations to come fear ever uttering the name of this cursed play like MacB-, I mean The Scottish Play?
Lame (the actors and this bumbling, cheesy piece of fuckery). My generation can't even do curses right...
LMAO @ "This Faces of Death shit" - damn, this stupid thing sounds like it's cursed.
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"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
Yes, my point exactly!
Submitted by fluffythedeadcat on Tue, 12/21/2010 - 10:31am.
The producers should just go with their strengths. Fill the cast with Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and such, then let audience members randomly cut cables during the performance. Smash face Broadway cool!
TEXBRO
While I don't want to see any one hurt or worse, I was hoping they could make this work. It's pushing the boundries of what Broadway has to offer and they are going to need to get the next generation of theater goers interested in something if they want to survive and stay relevant
TEXBRO
The producers should just go with their strengths. Fill the cast with Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and such, then let audience members randomly cut cables during the performance. Smash face Broadway cool!
Raul wants to web you all! ************************************************************************************************ Butt-head: This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.
jt
wtf, they can make Peter Pan and Mary Poppins fly, but ropes break and stunt people hurt themselves in this holy mess of an idea for a show? the minute I heard they were trying to put this together, I called out a mega "hell no" and said it would be a disaster. instead of making everything but Fishy Paltrow's daily dumps into a musical, why don't they just fucking try to get the basics right. I mean, hello "Capeman".
When they announced they were doing this most people thought it was going to be a fucking nightmare...it has exceeded expectations without hitting opening night. While I wish everyone good health I am sick and tired of all of this Disney/family friendly/"movie celebrity wants to do theater" crap that has overrun Broadway
$65 million and it still looks tacky.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Ouch.
Why the hell is there bootleg footage of a Broadway show in previews being used by legitimate newspapers (NYTimes posted it first, followed by everyone else in the world)? Isn't that, you know, illegal? Copyright infringement? I can guarantee Team Taymor did not release video footage of a stunt going horribly wrong. Is the blood lust that strong that these outlets that have been against the show since its primary investor died are willing to break the law to further crap on it?
This production really is turning into a joke. Didn't Bono and The Edge write the music to this shitfest? That might be your problem right there, those ass clowns haven't made good musce in 15 years.
hmmm. I went to a play two weeks ago where the play itself was on death's door. But to see some dead bodies, I may be getting me a ticket!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Now, I am interested.