Tommy Lee Is Trying To Cock Block A Whale!
And I thought watching a video of a (have a bottle of Clorox's memory wash or a priest to perform an exorcism handy before clicking) singing bloody vagina dentata was the only thing that could make my brain burp out "QUE?" this morning, but I was wrong. Tommy Lee must be spending his early morning hours searching for sucio shit like solo whale porn, because he's seen what's going down at Sea World and it's got him feeling all kinds of disgusted. Almost as disgusted as the times his memory does him wrong by flashing pictures of him slurping on Kimbo Stewart's taint.
TMZ got a hold of a letter Tommy Lee stroked and unloaded all over the executives at Sea World. Acting on behalf of Peta, Tommy told Sea World that he thinks it's sick how they use their serial killer whale Tilikum for jizz. Tommy had to take a Silkwood Shower after seeing footage of trainers milk the whale sperm out with a cow's vagina. Um. Isn't that how Tommy masturbates too? I'll Google that. In the meantime, here's the letter:
This is why the cow jumped over the moon. To get the fuck away from whale dick! No, there's no need to cover up Bessy's eyes, because by "cow vagina" Tommy means lady whale snatch. But is Tommy trying to give Tilikum a serious case of whale blue balls? Yes, Tilikum can spit when he gives himself auto-fellatio, but he prefers a lady whale snatch. Jizzus!
But seriously, how long before the makes of the Fleshlight come out with a version for whales?
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Look Tommy Lee is a complete tool as usual. So the fact that he believed that cow vagina malarky isn't surprising. Now to the real issue at hand, I'm completely horrified by the link you put of the bloody vagina singing. DEAR LORD, what has this world come too? I mean, Taylor Swift makes me want to eat glass most days...but that was so nasty that the a gallon of bleach will never cleanse my soul of it.
how has no one mentioned the offensive use of Papyrus yet? looks like tommy tried to get a little fancy with the computer fonts. blech.
i'll be your doug.
Tommy Lee's still scraping for relevance after his fifteen minutes with reality television's expired.
Tommy Lee's just mad because the cow vagina was probably tighter than anything he's ever pounded in his life.
And just think, I still like him more than I like Nikki Suxx. I wish HE would bury his head in sand.
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"Look inside the executioner's hood, I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
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Motley Crue sucked in the 80s and they're all still pathetic now.
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"Look inside the executioner's hood, I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
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Tommy Lee is the king of sick and twisted so he needs to just STFU. Who really cares what this brainless freak has to say?
Tommy Lee means well but he's like a child. PETA freaks me out. I imagine the people at head office having righteous orgies to vivisection videos.
Oh, and if anyone read the Motley Crue book The Dirt (repulsive yet thoroughly compelling), you would also have laughed at TL saying 'never in my wildest days' because you would remember them recounting the time in a hotel when Vince was in a pissy mood and put the room phone receiver (those huge, heavy old school ones, remember, this was the early 80s) 'up' one of the girls, dialed the other girl's number and made her talk to her mom from her friend's bagina.
If that's really how they collect semen over there at Sea World, I'm with Mr. Lee. Performing whales - or any other performing animal aside from Shitters - makes me SICK. At least I can laugh at Shitters. I hate sea world and circuses for starters.
As for the dentata, what an excellent use of Twerp Swift's dumbass soft-as-shit song. Every time I hear that pussy song, I'll think of that fat bitch on a rock taking her knickers off. BRILLZ!!
Maybe the whale whacker isn't a trainer.
I'm not sure I understand Tommy Lees gripe here. Is Sea World actually trying to help increase the population of killer whales? Wouldn't that be a good thing?
I'm sure some nearly extinct humpback whale that has to scavenge all day for food and is lucky to bag some lovesick manatee would rather trade places with "Whore-ca" that lives in a temperature controlled swimming pool, gets as much hi-protein food as it needs AND yet receives happy endings!!
Well fuck, MK, why don't you just link us a goatse pic next time, damn.
:(
Submitted by Raul Duke on Wed, 12/08/2010 - 11:07am.
Does that singing snooch know any Christmas Carols? Raul realy enjoys this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78R4gkpuDAA ************************************************************************************************
Dirty, agressive male anthem anthem that wasn't even funny. Are you sure you guys aren't hangin out with Drunken Stepfather and Hollywood Tuna right now?
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
I really hate this ugly rancid turd. We all heard about his exploits in the Crue tell all. So, not bathing for months, forcing groupies to sleep with your smelly ass WITHOUT protection, then making them blow your crusty pole afterwards = OKAY. But, damn don't let them jack off and mistreat your wittle whale friends. FUCK off Hepatitis McGee.
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
He has the legs and ass of a longterm crackhead. Eat something!!
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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i
If anything, it's unfair on the cow. I mean first they kill her and THEN she gets ginormous dick? That's foul yo.
*crying uncontrolably*
With a bloody gash of my own I can't handle what I just saw.
Oh dear lord, take me.
OMFG! WHAT IN THE BLOODY VAGINA HELL WAS THAT FUCKED SHIT?
*lays in fetal position*
So the singing bloody vag was gross but like was there a point to it? Like did I miss some sort of joke?
Oh yah, and stfu Tommy Lee.
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Tommy Lee's just pissed off cause that whale's got a much bigger dick than he has
Oh WOW! We're going to have to start saying "hung like a whale" from now on instead of hung like a horse!
When I read the words "whale dick" and "cow vagina", I thought the discussion was about the Tommy/Pam sex tape again.
What's the difference between using whale sperm to make whale babies and human sperm to make human babies?
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Whale masturbater
WORST JOB EVER
Suffering tastes so very, very yummy.
Submitted by chicagokristi on Wed, 12/08/2010 - 12:45pm.
I'm really not liking that all the rockers from my youth are now old enough to have grown some semblance of a conscience and now care about an actual "cause"
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But I DO like it when that 'cause' sounds like a straight-up urban myth.
♥ Threadkilla!
If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.~Marlon Brando
I'm really not liking that all the rockers from my youth are now old enough to have grown some semblance of a conscience and now care about an actual "cause" or something other than just banging roadie sluts and getting fucked up. That means I'M getting old too! Boo.
THAT LINK.
JESUSCHRISTSAVEME.
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You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
I know I should know better, but I'm a sick twisted fuck that can't help herself. I don't know what was worse, but I'm printing the vagina dentata picture to my fridge to help me stick to my diet. I just lost my lunch.
@snowpiece
*sides eyes snowy'savie* You BITCH.
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"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you." - Philip Larkin.
singing. bloody. pussy.
I am forever fucking scarred!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Welcome to Der Wienerschnitzel, may I take your order, please? Would you like whale sperm with that?
I always thought vagina dentata would be more be more like the mouth of an eel -- all fangs -- but this was far more traumatic.
...and um, holy shit @ the toothed, bloody, singing vag. *faints*
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
"Whale Jack-Off-er Person" was NOT in my college curriculum. Exactly where does one go to school to get THAT degree?
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
i don't get it.
where's the rest of the cow?
does somebody just drop into a tank with some meat in their hand, hold their breath and rub one out on a killer whale?
and that makes tommy lee write a letter?
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kiss my ass!
I don't believe it. The cow would drown.
I clicked the link....now I have a boner.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMhO0Kfl5Ck&feature=related
Someone who has a lot of credibility with me opining on an important issue.
Does that singing snooch know any Christmas Carols? Raul realy enjoys this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78R4gkpuDAA ************************************************************************************************ For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
Hunter S. Thompson
WHAT. THE. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
some whale must ve jizzed into his brain. I m a vegetarian and all against animal abuse,but wtf is that ballbag ranting about?
Too scared to click links...
But what I wanna know is where is the rest of the animal that goes with that va-jay-jay?? And who is the poor bastard that has to jack a killer whale? And when is Mike Rowe gonna tackle that dirty job? So many questions...
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Fucking asshole celebrities. With all the horrendous shit going on this world, his biggest concern is that someone is jacking off a whale? This just proves how pretentious and out of touch with reality these assholes are.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 12/08/2010 - 10:49am.
DWM: it all started off so innocently!!!!!!
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LOL I was going to say the same thing then BAM!!!
I'm still laughing typing this. Sweet Jesus save me now! Bawahaaaa !!!!
So the orca's name is Till-I-cum?
lol
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 12/08/2010 - 10:49am.
DWM: it all started off so innocently!!!!!!
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Except for the Taylor Squint song.
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
OMG LMFAO...WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH...BAWAAAAA. That is some of the most fucked up shit I have ever seen. I was warned but sweet Jesus on a tricycle that just about melted my fucking brain.
with a name like Tilikum what kind of job did the whale expect to get?
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"I've seen Ryan Seacrest in a turtleneck so I should've known that they make turtlenecks in tiny people sizes but now I know it's a for real thing." MK
This has got to be the sickest post. Links = Nauseating.
I am a total pervert for clicking and watching all of MK's links.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
DWM: it all started off so innocently!!!!!!
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"I've seen Ryan Seacrest in a turtleneck so I should've known that they make turtlenecks in tiny people sizes but now I know it's a for real thing." MK
I smell an overpowering stench of B.O. with a lingering whiff of JELLIS H8R.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
*hands snowy eyebleach*
I hear ya girl. I'm still yakking.
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
not exactly sure what tommy's mad about...is he mad the whale is still in captivity....is he mad they jerk it with cow vagina...or is he mad people are still around the whale...i'm mad i'm seeing tommy's naked picture, but i ain't mad that i will not click on the other links....
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10