Who Ordered The Roast Beef And Mayo On Wheat?
On Conan last night, the KKKs talked about all the foolery they blow out on Twitter including how Khloe and Kourtney told their followers that mayonnaise is to a snatch as a hard peen is to John Travolta's no-no. It makes that shit sparkle! Kim, who keeps trying to be the epitome of a prim and proper lady, is the one who brought it up and then later said that they shouldn't talk about those things in public. BITCH! Stop acting like we didn't see Ray J bust his dick mayo all over your nooks and crannies. We know you LIKE THAT, so quit the refined snowflake act!
Here's how the conversation went last night. It's best to read while biting into a sandwich of roast beef, Miracle Whip and a dab of yeast butter:
Kim: Talking about putting mayonnaise on your thing is not appropriate.Khloe: Honestly, women need to know how to take care of their stuff.
Conan: I'm not even here anymore. I just... I'm wearing jeggings and listening to you guys talk about putting mayonnaise down there and I'm just... I don't know what's happened.
Kourtney: People ask us why would you want to put mayonnaise down there?
Conan: Wait a minute! Let's just back up the truck just a bit. You can't move ahead from that statement. You advised women to put-
Kourtney: No, we didn't advise... I told Khloe-
Kim: They don't really do this. It's just a joke and they don't really do it.
Khloe: How do you know?
Kourtney: I actually told Khloe that I found her sex mask under my bed, that she's been looking for, and she wrote me back, "OMG I found your jar of mayonnaise that you use on your vagina." And then we were talking back and forth and people asked what does mayonnaise on your vagina do? And we said it makes it shine like the top of the Chrysler building. But why would you want a shiny vagina anyways?
Conan: I don't know...um...wow...okay.
Kim: I just don't think it's appropriate to talk about stuff like that especially on Twitter or any public place where young girls-
Khloe: Follow at your own risk.
Never mind that Tim Peeler just put a jar of homemade mayo out on his porch to lure the Sasquatch back into his life, why was Khloe's sex mask under Kourtney's bed? Just thinking about Khloe wearing a sex mask makes me want to scream, "BRING OUT THE GIMP!"
via UsWeekly
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Did they just make a reference to the musical Annie?
I don't know what is with my brain today. I couldn't figure out what a sex mask was (I had a picture of one of those Batman gel pack eyemasks in my mind and couldn't figure out what was sessy bout that) until MK said bring out the gimp. Duh.
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If I have to come back here it's gonna get fuckin ugly.
I have a theory about this new, virginal, Kim....it's damage control by Mama Kris.
She figures Kourt has a kid, so she's Madonna, Sasquatch is married, so dirty talk from them is OK!
However, Kim made a dumb move by saying she is 30 now and thought she would be a wife and mom at this point, thereby screaming DESPERATE!
So, Mama Kris is starting to realize that although the fuck tape with Kim was a huge money maker and put her on the map, stardom wise....men will date but not marry girls who get themselves pissed on on tape!
I mean, I'm sure the dudes picture the converstations with their kids in the future...."No, No, do NOT piss on that little girl! I know MOMMY got pissed on, but do as Mommy says, not as she DID!"
Kris doesn't want to get stuck with a pathetic old maid, this is her last ditch attempt to make Kim ladylike for marriage.
As usual, they are all scripted robots.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
whoa Kim is looking big here..she needs to watch out..!
Kim the voice of what is and isn't inappropriate? Shut the fuck up bitch, you show up to every event with your ass hanging out and your tits to your face. UGH. And you began a "career" from leaking out your own sex tape, that's a far cry from appropriate, stupid whore.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:50pm.
*exchanges numbers with agirl*
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*sends Jack the bill from my trip to the clinic to get rid of that nasty rash*
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 7:55pm.
Kim need to watch herself. She don't have fat head. Nope, bitch is not supposed to be fat and she is teetering on the edge. You can tell if a bitch supposed to be fat or not by the head. Oprah got fat head, she supposed to be fat. Kim do not. An interesting aside, Kirsty Alley did not have fat head, but got so damned fat she just about grew one. Still, you can almost tell bitch don't have REAL fat head and wasn't meant to be fat. The head don't lie. You don't have fat head, you got no bidness bein' fat. Thick? Yeah, Ok. Voluptuous? You bet. Chubby? I'll give you that. Fat? Nope, not unless we see proof of a fat head.
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truth
This post is making me want to run out and buy some Vagisil STAT.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Mayonnaise? Wtf for? I've heard of puttin yoghurt down there for UTI's...or as my mum says "The shit you get when you dont wipe your arse properly". I dunno, I'm too "tired and emotional" for this crap
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 9:14am
Yay.... E! has a Keeping Up With The Kardashians marathon from 10:00 in the morning unti 9:00 in the evening. Throw in some hockey during the commercials, and I have my Saturday planned.
It's going to be a FML kind of day...
pigs
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 7:55pm.
You can tell if a bitch supposed to be fat or not by the head. Oprah got fat head, she supposed to be fat. Kim do not.
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True! Like Star Jones was never gorgeous, but ever since she had all that fat removed, her face doesn't look right. If I put on even a few pounds, I get an extra chin.
Kimmie Dearest got her shit sucked out by a water hose for that "Dead" photoshoot.
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"Look inside the executioner's hood, I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
†
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Hey why is Kim twice the size she looks in that AIDS coffin photoshoot?
hmmmmm....
You know that kid in Mexico that they arrested for beheading 4 people? Why in the FUCK didn't he start on these 3 cunts instead?? He would have been awarded a Medal of Honor.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
I just read that Digital Death has only raised $200,000. They've lowered the contribution to $5 in an effort to "speed things up." I guess celebrities don't realize raising money takes time, probably because they're out of touch with reality.
What the Hell has happened? People used to have bed-ins. Hunger strikes. Now we have loathsome celebrities with ADHD sacrificing Twitter for four days and they're ready to throw in the towel. I have a Twitter, too. I updated four days ago. Do my followers care? In our narcissistic society, I doubt it.
I hope they're still talking about the idiocy of this campaign decades from now.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
Kim Tardashian's career trajectory is FAR more vulgar than anything to come out of their mouths. Period.
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"Look inside the executioner's hood, I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
†
Kumdumpster needs a sense of humor. Every time I've seen this family, Kumdumpster and her pimp mom have a fucking period over people joking.
Oh my godddddd, guyyyyyyys, you are so nastyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Khloe Kardashian's the only one with a personality. You can tell by the look on Kris Jenner's face she wishes she aborted her because she isn't plastic enough, unlike Kimbot, who's clearly the favorite. She wishes she WAS Kum. It's really creepy how she plays favorites.
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"Look inside the executioner's hood, I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)
†
This is comical because their entire "schtick" is shock value and volunteering information we don't want to know about. It's like that new coworker who comes in on a Monday and by Tuesday has already told you about her dildo collection.
A big part of sexual allure is mystery. These women are so grotesque because they've revealed everything. Khloe has the potential to be a beautiful woman but she opens her mouth and it's always a disgrace.
It sounds like Kim is crabby because she's come to the realization that she won't be Tweeting again until July.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
Look, it's Kim - size 2 - Kardashian wearing a size 12 dress. The mayo is supposed to go down there, woman, it's not for consumption. I don't mind curviness at all, but I do mind big fat liars.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Klassy Kunts!... one golden shower and a video camera and VOILA!, a career is born!
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/entertainment/2002812478_dlisted20...
Submitted by PinkPostIt on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 8:47pm.
MK - Any update on the Twitter Death Count
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I just read on some other website (Gawker?? I think) that by Friday afternoon they had barely raised 200,000 dollars.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Kim: I just don't think it's appropriate to talk about stuff like that especially on Twitter or any public place where young girls-
Oh bitch, please, your whole show is inappropriate for young girls!
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 5:21pm.
Lol...this is so funny...I was just appalled the other night when these twats were on Joy Behar and when Joy asked them when they lost their virginity,
I didn't see the show but whichever one is the tall one...she admitted to losing her virginity at 14.
MK - Any update on the Twitter Death Count?
I've never been a big fan of mayo to begin with, and these three have sealed the deal...I will never touch mayo again.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
My brother was just telling me how fucking repulsive he finds this herd of wildebeests. When I informed him that the one with the huge nasty ass likes golden showers, he was repulsed, but not a bit surprised. So I guess not all men are into grotesque human urinals like the Tardtrashians.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
following this convo is the mental equivalent of eating cheetos; who the fuck, really, are the fans of these 3 useless twats?
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
Kim need to watch herself. She don't have fat head. Nope, bitch is not supposed to be fat and she is teetering on the edge. You can tell if a bitch supposed to be fat or not by the head. Oprah got fat head, she supposed to be fat. Kim do not. An interesting aside, Kirsty Alley did not have fat head, but got so damned fat she just about grew one. Still, you can almost tell bitch don't have REAL fat head and wasn't meant to be fat. The head don't lie. You don't have fat head, you got no bidness bein' fat. Thick? Yeah, Ok. Voluptuous? You bet. Chubby? I'll give you that. Fat? Nope, not unless we see proof of a fat head.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
What´s worse: mayo on the pussy, or piss on the mug?
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I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
how about super glue on all orifices
goddamn stoopid annyoing kunnts
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
AARRGHHHGH Those three bitches talk like the fucking orange stooges! Did they finish HS?? I fking want to know! No I don't.
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"One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years. To read is to voyage through time." - Carl Sagan
Funny that the one talking about being proper is the one whose only claim to fame is having RJ bust his mayo up her ass, and likes to be peed on by her tricks. Please don't you dare try to tell me that Khloe is not the missing link. Evolution dilemma solved. Kourtney, Kourtney, or should I say Cousin ITT from the Addams Family? I guess being with Patrick Bateman has taken a toll on this fool.
Kourtney actually has pants on! The other 2 are too fat assed to get a pair of slacks on.
Kourtney's red lipstick isn't doing anything for her, and yes, I agree with whoever said Kim's dress is distracting.
I really wish they'd all get food poisoning and die. Even though it means that baby would end up getting raised by Patrick Bateman all alone...
that interview was funny as hell, i forgot how much i liked conan. as for kim acting all demure lol is all i can say. i think even the audience was thinkin "bitch, please" when she said that wan't appropriate.
Lol...this is so funny...I was just appalled the other night when these twats were on Joy Behar and when Joy asked them when they lost their virginity, Sasquatch and Kourt freely admitted, but KIM GOT ALL VIRGINAL, and said it was PERSONAL, SOMETHING BETWEEN THE COUPLE, BLAH, BLAH SHE WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT ON TV!!!
Now, I like Kim, but c'mon...
I mean, fine, get pissed on, make that money honey, but sorry, sweetie, you can't play the virgin card anymore after that!
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
That white dress Kim has on sucks. The line down the middle is distrating. The one in the middle looks like she's being wrapped as a mummy and the other looks like a librarian with her clothes.
*exchanges numbers with agirl*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Could Kourtney not make it and in her place is a wax figure? How fake and vacant.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:33pm.
HAHAHAHAHAHA agirl!!! WHORE!!!
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Thank you! *blushes*
I was listening to the radio the other day, and they were talking about Angelina Jolie and Madonna and how once you get the "Slut image", you can never get rid of it. No matter how many kids you adopt or kids books you write or how much you clean up your image, it will always be there.
That message was intended for you, Kim.
when the fuck will these attention sluts just go to hell already!!! Figures KIm thinks she is some kind of "example"...never mind that she got her start being peed on...good lord this family sucks...every last one of them...they are pathetic and stupid and everythig that is wrong with this attention whore world we live in...can someone please just shoot them already?????
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:36pm.
'Course, knowing that she has nice, shiny pubes makes it all ok.
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SO true!
♥ Threadkilla!
The Greatest Song Ever Recorded:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1934329
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
~ John Lehman
Kim has the curse of the 'shorts', i.e. she's so short that if she gains 4 or 5 pounds, it looks like 10 in a pic. In one week she can look semi-slim to hippo-like around the haunches. 'Course, knowing that she has nice, shiny pubes makes it all ok.
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Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live~ Flaubert
Submitted by QueenieBK on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:31pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:59pm.
Please, I'm not that complicated. I could care less if she talks (before, during or afterwards)...
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ah, Jack, if the piece you were banging got too chatty, you'd just stick a ball gag in her mouth, no? LOL
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uhh, well, let's just say that wouldn't be my FIRST choice... ;)
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
HAHAHAHAHAHA agirl!!! WHORE!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 4:28pm.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:44pm.
I have friends like Kim...they are total whores who would do just about everything in bed (and some other places) and I mean EVERYTHING yet they get all prim and proper when it's time to dish about it
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Names and numbers, please.
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lmao - great minds...
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:59pm.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:44pm.
I have friends like Kim...they are total whores who would do just about everything in bed (and some other places) and I mean EVERYTHING yet they get all prim and proper when it's time to dish about it.
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I'm gonna need names and phone numbers.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 3:59pm.
Please, I'm not that complicated. I could care less if she talks (before, during or afterwards)...
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ah, Jack, if the piece you were banging got too chatty, you'd just stick a ball gag in her mouth, no? LOL
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley