Jennifer Aniston Got Herself A Sexy Thanksgiving Piece (Not Really)
This year, Jennifer Aniston did not spend her Thanksgiving bawling out an ocean of lonely tears that could carry the Mayflower back to America. And she didn't gorge herself on three Hungry Man turkey meals and a pint of pumpkin pie ice cream while her Beanie Baby collection (dressed in pilgrim outfits made from yarn) watched. No, this year Jennifer Aniston joined Grey Goose's favorite beej giver Chelsea Handler down in Los Cabos, Mexico! No llorando for Aniston!
And Aniston got a littler closer to what the paps called a "mysterious and dark haired hunk". The only mystery surrounding this dude is if he uses pina colada or raspberry scented lube to give his boyfriend an early morning handjob. I mean, really...
Just because Jennifer is hugging on a dude, doesn't mean she's sticking her hard nips in his mouth hole later! Jennifer's Malan-alike friend is obviously just giving her a consoling "It's okay, I don't think Christopher Columbus had a man on Thanksgiving either" hug. He's not smiling because he can't wait to stick the tip in later, he's smiling because her hair smells like delicious Strawberry Suave shampoo. Most of my gay friends looooooved Strawberry Suave shampoo as a child and still do. I use it as bubble bath and sometimes when my tub of Wet goes empty, I dab a dollop on my... Okay, I'm stopping!
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GOD BLESS THE ANISTON-MALANS!
12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
I've got a match!
The vitriol that Aniston/Jolie posts bring out is always amusing. Too bad we don't still live in puritanical times so we could just burn all these independent, childless women at the stake.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
yes, i was a proud skank until i met mister right. I rather be a skank than a loon. Can't you do better than that?
Submitted by yucko on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 4:47pm.
Why hate on Jennifer?
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It only takes a Jen post to bring out a gender based hypocrisy in people. While it's okay for people like Clooney to enjoy the carefree single life but a woman over 40? Still single and childless... lo behold... she must be banished to hell!
Can't believe people still think like that in 2010. I wonder what such people have to say about Oprah and Diane Keaton, who never married, and in Oprah's case, never had kids!
Submitted by joanne on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 4:52pm.
Nothing wrong with being a skank when unmarried.
yeah, right ... all the skanks say that!
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 4:50pm.
Are you a loon? Is this why you took what I said personal? Nothing wrong with being a skank when unmarried.
Submitted by Libra on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 4:43pm.
A. It's NEVER been established how many boyfriends has she actually had since her divorce
once you get into the "can't keep count" camp, you're pretty much a professional skank
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Submitted by joanne on Fri, 11/26/2010
...yea I can see why the loons think she is desperate.
which part of her desperation are you missing? the desperately untalented part? the desperately childless part? the desperately middle-aged part? the desperately man-chinned part? the desperately attention starved part? or just the desperately dumped part?
When did she get breast implants?
She is plenty happy and good for her.
I have to agree with you echoing positive statements.
Why hate on Jennifer?
She's rich. She has plenty of girl friends. She takes great vacations. She has a steady career. She gets to at least occasionally bang (some) hot dudes and doesn't have to worry about children.
Yeah, so she's missing out on some conservative traditional American Dream. So what. I'm sure she often wishes she had a longterm partner--life gets lonely. But sometimes even when you're surrounded by people you get lonely--or frustrated, irritated, taken for granted, etc. Anyway, there are a myriad of reasons one could list for why she isn't necessarily "defective" for not being remarried. And if she REALLY wanted to be married that badly, I have no doubt she could find somebody.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 4:38pm.
Have to disagree with you on that...
A. It's NEVER been established how many boyfriends has she actually had since her divorce. Just because you're photographed with someone, or make a movie with someone, doesn't mean you're sleeping with them.... which...
B. Angelina has "admitted" to... so the title does and always will belong to that SKANK !!
On another note... when did these two become such good friends? Didn't Handler used to make fun of Aniston on her show? What am i missing?
She looks so happy, her bod looks great, she's hanging out with friends, her bank account has $$$, she was married to stuPitt when he was hot and she works steady, yea I can see why the loons think she is desperate.
as long as Aniston keeps spreading her bony legs for any guy she thinks has a publicist, the title belongs to her!
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 4:31pm.
LOL... a walking STD? Again... that's Jolie for sure my friend !!!
nope, I'm talking about the walking STD known as Aniston
A single woman hanging out with a man. I don't see a problem.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 3:45pm.
is there anybody on Earth who is not sick of this skank's self-indulgence and self-promotion?
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Self-indulgence and self-promotion? Are you sure you're not talking about Angelina?
God this woman cannot catch a break!!! She merely has to stand next to some guy and it means she's banging him.... SERIOUSLY !!!
Me thinks the tabs needs a new poster child for lonely, desperate and promiscuous!
I still don't understand Jennifer Anniston. She's beautiful, she's famous, she's a gazillionaire, she has friends, and yet she just can't seem to find a dude who will stick with her. Either she's got a bad case of acting like "Cunty McCuntster" or there's something wrong we don't know about.
As for Chelsea Handler, she's ugly, she's not even remotely funny and she's another attention whoring dumbass who got buttreamed in a home made fuck film, released it while claiming it never existed then that it wasn't meant for release, then made money on it. She's a whore, nothing else...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Ew...I used to like Chelsea Handler. But she has sold out hanging with that desperate pothead skank. :)
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
what a desperately lonely, attention starved, untalented, man-chinned skeez
she needs to stop passing herself around the locker room, gather up what might be left of her self respect (a thimble should be large enough for that task!), douse herself in J'Alone and just retire
is there anybody on Earth who is not sick of this skank's self-indulgence and self-promotion?
Margaret Hamilton called ... she wants her chin back whenever you're done using it, Maniston
I like Jenny! and I agree with most of you all on the single not having babies thing.
Coma Caca!
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Turkey day in Cabo. Hmmm, beats dealing with idiot family members, bitterly cold weather and getting felt up by TSA before sitting on a runway for 1 hour before even taking off because of weather delay.
Yeah, Jen has it tough. NOT!
I don't dislike her, I just envy her more than any other woman on the planet. I want her life!
All you Jen haters are ridiculous!
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In a time of universal deceit
- telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
*George Orwell*
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Those who exchange liberty for safety deserve neither; AND LOSE BOTH!
*Benjamin Franklin
Submitted by tonicbitch on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 1:29pm.
I seriously don't get why people pity her. She always looks great, has tons of money, is always pictured out with friends and having a good time. She's not the greatest or most successful actress in the world, but she always seems to be working and obviously she must enjoy it because she certainly doesn't need the money. There is just nothing about her life that screams "pathetic" to me.
And honestly, for as awful as her taste in men is and the fact that she's perpetually single (which she may even enjoy), I highly doubt she's any more miserable than many of my friends who are married with kids and tied down living the "American dream". Most of them would trade places with her in a heartbeat! And if I had to choose, I'd sure as hell rather be in Jen's shoes than Angelina's...just sayin.
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Amen!
She left Grey Goose a loooong blowjob ago. She's now riding hard on Belvedere:)
"This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy"
- Michele Weinburger
I'm a 44 yr old grandmother. I'd kill to have this bitch's life. I'd even be willing to have her invisa-lips, if I still fit like that in a bahkeeni.
Poor Aniston with her millions of dollars and her toned bod. I would hate to be like her when I'm her age...
Submitted by mbar on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 2:26pm.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 12:45pm.
Not all of us long to get married and have babies. I would trade places with Jen in a heartbeat. Smoking bod, large bank accountm ability to travel the world.
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And yet she only goes to Cabo. Like all the time. I just got back from a month in Australia. Western Oz for the most part. Yeah, the fuckin' outback. Run and tell that, Aniston.
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I could understand going to the same vacation spot every year. Some people buy cabins and summer houses for that purpose, but I do of agree with you. If I had more money, I'd travel all over the world.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by oldpossum on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 2:27pm.
The JENHENS have arrived!
Chinnifer can't act.
She has less than average looks IMO.
She deserves an Oscar for getting people to think she IS SPECIAL or TALENTED.
She is neither my friends! HAHAHAHHAH!
So what? You're extremely fat and live in a trailer with your cats and pics of Angelinas skelly hands! HAHAHAHAHA!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMhO0Kfl5Ck&feature=related
"Submitted by BlueOrchid on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 2:23pm."
Preaching to the choir! Last night during Thanksgiving dinner I was the only one who really got to relax during dinner since everyone else was busy putting the kids in time out (they were totally misbehaving), changing diapers or cleaning up puke to actually eat. I don't think the parents had 5 minutes to themselves the whole night. That's just not my thing.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
I feel certain that most women...especially those married with children...look at women like Anniston & Handler...and SEEEEETHE with resentment at their money and freedom.On an unrelated note...where do I sign up for a Jen / Chelsea 3some?
The JENHENS have arrived!
Chinnifer can't act.
She has less than average looks IMO.
She deserves an Oscar for getting people to think she IS SPECIAL or TALENTED.
She is neither my friends! HAHAHAHHAH!
The JENHENS have arrived!
Chinnifer can't act.
She has less than average looks IMO.
She deserves an Oscar for getting people to think she IS SPECIAL or TALENTED.
She is neither my friends! HAHAHAHHAH!
repost by accident!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 12:45pm.
Not all of us long to get married and have babies. I would trade places with Jen in a heartbeat. Smoking bod, large bank accountm ability to travel the world.
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And yet she only goes to Cabo. Like all the time. I just got back from a month in Australia. Western Oz for the most part. Yeah, the fuckin' outback. Run and tell that, Aniston.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 1:29pm.
SING IT!
Pitying this 'sorry creature'? How stupid. Kids and all that jazz do not automatically equate happiness, for goodness sake. Quite the opposite, usually. I have friends with kids. They tend to rant and bitch about them and then sweetly ask me, "So, what are YOU going to have kids?" HA! Never. If freedom is pathetic and lonely, sign me up for a lifetime of it. If you're a parent who enjoys all that goes with the territory, all the power to you.
That so called "Hot Piece" is Handler's book agent!
This year, Jennifer Aniston did not spend her Thanksgiving bawling out an ocean of lonely tears that could carry the Mayflower back to America. And she didn't gorge herself on three Hungry Man turkey meals and a pint of pumpkin pie ice cream while her Beanie Baby collection (dressed in pilgrim outfits made from yarn) watched. - MK
BAHAHAHA---Beanie Babies playing Thanksgiving dress-up!!! I almost laugh-snorted all over the monitor!!!
...The lonely cat-lady thing just works on so many levels when it comes to this woman---I'm not gonna analyse the whys and wherefores, it just DOES...
...DEAL!!!...
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There's a whole lotta WTF going on. - But.Seriously.Folks
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 1:32pm.
AMEN! I love being single and free. I have so many friends who are married wtih kids that I wouldn't trade places with if you paid me. I'm so tired of people thinking you have to be married or procreate to be happy!
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Exactly!! And while I do know people who did the whole marriage/kids thing and it worked out for them, it's just not for everyone. I really don't get those people who feel that women who don't are missing out. I've spent enough time around my friends and see what they go through with their husbands and kids, that I can look at their lives and say DONOTWANT.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Second to last thumbnail sent my gaydar off the chart. It was not only the haircut but the giggly, covering the mouth pose.
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
MK - the thread is a little crude today, dont' ya think? WOW.
And why is it that Aniston can't hug ANYONE without the desperation flag being waved in her honor? Geez. Who gives a shit who this guy is .... maybe it's one of Chelsea's friends .. so what if Jen is feeling no pain, has a buzz going and is going overboard with the PDA ... maybe it's a local that she sees whenever on vacation... maybe it's a hotel employee ... maybe it's a paid male escort, really, does it matter?
She looks like she's having a great time ...so kudos to her!
Um, in photo #9, is that… is that Margaret Hamilton?
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"JUST SHUT UP!!"--my sister
Her cats are gonna be pissed when she gets home!
Ugh.
Hey, all you youngsters out there, take heed: Working out matters, and surgery matters, but the main difference between Chelsea Handjob and Jennifer Aniston's bodies is the gigantic pile of cocaine that one of them shovels up their nose. Word.
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"JUST SHUT UP!!"--my sister
Submitted by tonicbitch on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 1:29pm.
AMEN! I love being single and free. I have so many friends who are married wtih kids that I wouldn't trade places with if you paid me. I'm so tired of people thinking you have to be married or procreate to be happy!
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
I seriously don't get why people pity her. She always looks great, has tons of money, is always pictured out with friends and having a good time. She's not the greatest or most successful actress in the world, but she always seems to be working and obviously she must enjoy it because she certainly doesn't need the money. There is just nothing about her life that screams "pathetic" to me.
And honestly, for as awful as her taste in men is and the fact that she's perpetually single (which she may even enjoy), I highly doubt she's any more miserable than many of my friends who are married with kids and tied down living the "American dream". Most of them would trade places with her in a heartbeat! And if I had to choose, I'd sure as hell rather be in Jen's shoes than Angelina's...just sayin.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
I too am tired of this "poor Jennifer" refrain. It looks like she likes to drink, smoke, and tan, so what? She is over the age of consent and there is no law saying she has to get married and procreate.
I am now divorced with a kid - I am about her age and wish I looked like her and had her money. Would be nice to have all her options.
Jennifer's body is amazing. That said, I don't know why she's always being linked to people. She clearly loves her independence and has no desire to have kids or get remarried. She just wants to hit the beach and drink margaritas. Nothing wrong with that.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Poor girl must be terribly desperate for affection.
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"There is something the matter with you, Caprice...Something is the matter with YOUR VAGINA!"
Mmmm, cameltoe! ************************************************************************************************ For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
Hunter S. Thompson