Jennifer Aniston Got Herself A Sexy Thanksgiving Piece (Not Really)
This year, Jennifer Aniston did not spend her Thanksgiving bawling out an ocean of lonely tears that could carry the Mayflower back to America. And she didn't gorge herself on three Hungry Man turkey meals and a pint of pumpkin pie ice cream while her Beanie Baby collection (dressed in pilgrim outfits made from yarn) watched. No, this year Jennifer Aniston joined Grey Goose's favorite beej giver Chelsea Handler down in Los Cabos, Mexico! No llorando for Aniston!
And Aniston got a littler closer to what the paps called a "mysterious and dark haired hunk". The only mystery surrounding this dude is if he uses pina colada or raspberry scented lube to give his boyfriend an early morning handjob. I mean, really...
Just because Jennifer is hugging on a dude, doesn't mean she's sticking her hard nips in his mouth hole later! Jennifer's Malan-alike friend is obviously just giving her a consoling "It's okay, I don't think Christopher Columbus had a man on Thanksgiving either" hug. He's not smiling because he can't wait to stick the tip in later, he's smiling because her hair smells like delicious Strawberry Suave shampoo. Most of my gay friends looooooved Strawberry Suave shampoo as a child and still do. I use it as bubble bath and sometimes when my tub of Wet goes empty, I dab a dollop on my... Okay, I'm stopping!
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Submitted by Dallas on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 5:59pm.
I find it totally amusing that a loon would EVEN think about commenting on Jennifer's chin. Good gawd, have you not taken a close look at Skankalina's chin? You could lay down and take a nap on that thing!
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Actually, if we're comparing, lets not forget that Jolie's forehead is the size of a wide screen! Plus she has that pulsating vein that bulges from it. Jen's chin has NOTHING on that thing! Oh and dont forget Jolie's Mr. Ed teeth!
Jen's losing her body? Where's it going? LOL. Please. People are so damn jealous of a 40 year old who's tits dont sag and are actually real! It will be a long long time before Jen has to retire her bikini ... all she has to do is keep up with her yoga and workouts .. which shouldnt be hard since it's apparently what she loves to do. Jen has one of the most natural bodies in hollywood. Only a jealous fool would try to convince herself that Jen is "losing her body". With the money and trainers she can afford - she will NEVER lose that body.
Poor Jen, always looking hot and having fun with friends on the beach! I'm a single mother of two, and love it. But it's a shitload of work and not for everyone. To each his own, live and let live, and all that MYOFB and GAFL jazz.
Why are Angie fans almost always dumb? I'm serious. Is there an low IQ fan club prerequisite?
I am so sick of this chick in a bikini. She's losing her body and doesn't even know it yet. What is she going to do when she has to stop wearing a bikini completely? She will have nothing! LOL!
Wow. There are a lot of really unhappy women on Dlisted who hate their marraiges, their husbands and their kids.
To be frank, I am tired of both Maniston and Skelewhore. Neither are very good looking anymore and both have been in bomb after bomb (yet amazingly still find work).
If Maniston is women's heroine for not getting married then maybe women need to take responsibility for their own lives and not cave in to societal pressure to marry and have kids.
Submitted by mbar on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 2:26pm.
I just got back from a month in Australia. Western Oz for the most part. Yeah, the fuckin' outback. Run and tell that, Aniston.
Excellent! I hope you had a good time! I'm in South Oz :)
On topic: I'm single but have a child and I'd kill to live a single day of Jen's life. I wouldn't trade it forever, just experience a day of it
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 9:14am
It is times like this that I miss LA lol. She always brought the crazy...Where the hell is terianne?? Damn, all the truly whacked loons are missing..
Well, we had a few good ones I guess.
They are probably waiting in line for that steaming pile of shit, otherwise known as "The Tourist".
Yes poor Jenny, living it up in Cabo, tanned, taught and unbelievably rich!
BAWK, BAWK! Lmao.
*ahem!* ....bawling AT an ocean, thankyouverymuch.
♥ Threadkilla!
The Greatest Song Ever Recorded:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1934329
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
~ John Lehman
It's really strange because Brangelina is all, like, totally progressive and stuff(!!!!1!!!!11!!), yet what their most strident fans appear to criticize the most about Jennifer Aniston, is that she hasn't forged a "serious" (read: loveless/SEXLESS) relationship with a man or adopted/artificially queefed out a litter of kids.
Would Brangelina approve of your archaic values?
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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
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Yeah, I'd rather be single and having tons of fun than burdened by a loveless (and probably sexless at this rate) marriage.
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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
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Get this Brangaloonies: Jen may not want your pathetic 1950s idea that for a woman to be fulfilled she needs a husband and kids. I am sure she could find a guy if she wanted. She has money, a cracking body, a career and can do what and who she likes.
Also she had Brad at his hottest. Angelina has old Brad and Brad got Angelina when she started to resemble an anorexia patient popping out kids and being all boring and holier than thou.
I think I know who won here. Lok up the word spinster, cos spinsters I am pretty sure don't live it up in Cabo, get laid if they want and have a body most of you overweight Brangaloonies would kill for. I have no love for Jen but my God you guys make me defend her!
And the lack of humour with you guys is insane. Taking a signature (the Morocco) one and that comment that followed it. How dumb are you?
Now move along to Just Jared where I am sure you can read up about this amazing love story Borelina is directing that no one will watch.
Oh, made no sense...to into this show. Yes....but as a new mom. I just watch TV on Fridays. I spared you(loons) at least, your "barren" comment.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
I think it's pretty awesome that someone with mediocre talent and a homely face can make so many more millions of dollars than 99% of the beautiful, talented women in Hollywood. I'm not a Jennifer fan but think it's enviable that she returns to Cabo as often as she likes, has a kickin' body, doesn't feel the need to remarry or birth out some kids. This does not make her a sad cat lady; it makes her the envy of most of the women I know. I don't love her but I do love the fact that she seems to do what she wants, when she wants, lives in a gigantic house she helped design (did you see it in Architectural Digest earlier this year? Not my personal taste but how cool to have a mansion built however you want, that cost tens of millions you earned yourself, non?
Srsly, think of all your married friends - what percentage would you say are truly happy?
Has she NO RESPECT FOR THE INDIANS? She should be fake drecting with a Skeletor face making "serious" faces and running minions around with a parying mantis claw. STOP ENJOY THIS HOLIDAY. Go lock yourself in your "psudeo Grodo with your man doll, grab your cabbage patchies and do 20 Saint Angies,
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
Poor Maniston! Hanging out with that F lister Handler and a fug gay guy? Christ! She would get more respect if she brought her Beanie Babies in their pilgrim outfits. Anyhoo, say what you want about her and the jolie-pitts those three turds sure know how to keep their names in the press and keep us yaking about them.
boston61, "Jennifer has slept with half of Hollywood"..........Oh my gawd, what an idiotic statement. Who gives an eff if she has? She;s single numbnuts! At least she hasn't stolen anyones husband or slept with any married men, unlike Jolie!
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 5:30pm.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 11/26/2010 -
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Enough patting yourself on the back for your half moment in Morocco! You've been bragging about it to anyone who would listen since the moment you got back - sorta takes the charitable aspect out of it if you use it as a prop like that, dontcha think?. Enough!
WOW, Jump Blacks!!!!
LMAO, at this dipshit, I almost ruined my laptop with a keyboard full of diet coke. The Jennay hating loons never fail to amuse me.
So Koko, next time you are in Morocco helping the children, please don't brag of your good deeds!!!
Lolololol
koko, I agree. I don't even see Angie as a skank. Skank to me is Paris, Kim Kardashian, Tara Reid, Lindsay Lohan and the like.
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If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with
-Stephen Stills
I kind of don't get the whole "skank" thing for Jennifer. If anything she seems a tad boring and dare I say a little vanilla when it comes to bedroom activities and choices in men. Angelina claims to only have slept with a few pople as well. I really could care less about either of their numbers (and I can already hear the "why are you posting about this on D-Listed then" comments. ANSWER: I'm bored.) I don't think either of these two are worth the fiery passion they ignite in some people. Jennifer can't act and Angie only plays sexy spies. Angelina does some good things but ruins it by portraying herself as holier than though. At least I don't have to hear about Jennifer on a daily basis.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
-Lindsay Lohan stating the most important quote ever in the history of mankind !!!
If that's a "hunk" then the tabloids have either redefined the meaning or the country has REALLY lowered it's standards.
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Shiitake happens...
Chelsea Handler is the least funny person in the world. Her column for "Cosmo" magazine is soooo bad...yeah, even by cheesy magazine standards. (I like that mag but I can admit it's cheesy.)
As for Jen, oooh, another picture of her tanning herself. Yippy yay yahooo.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 7:12pm.
TIGER IN THE HOUSE!!!1
hey you fucking whore, how's tricks down in the cages?
oooOOoooh and NITTY and IG and JOE and and and.... *swoon*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Fakers are everywhere: http://tinyurl.com/2764l4z
It's amazing how many of Jennifer Anistons kitty kats have laptops and Dlisted accounts. MEOW MEOWWWWW!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
BAWK BAWK BAWK!!!!!!
I love these threads.....
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
*HI 5's back to NitWitty, Libra and kokoskitten*
And as for you Bernardisprofoundlydumb or whatever the fuck your handle is, I have another quote for you and let's see if you can figure out this one...and no googling now...that's cheating...
"YOU ARE SO DUMB,YOU ARE REALLY DUMB,FOR REAL!"
Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 2:32pm.
Submitted by oldpossum on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 2:27pm.
The JENHENS have arrived!
Chinnifer can't act.
She has less than average looks IMO.
She deserves an Oscar for getting people to think she IS SPECIAL or TALENTED.
She is neither my friends! HAHAHAHHAH!
So what? You're extremely fat and live in a trailer with your cats and pics of Angelinas skelly hands! HAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHA why are you offended by THE TRUTH ???
Guess it hurts your feelings!
"The Good Girl" who didn't have to act at all in that role. Chinnifer is infinitely BORING!
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 8:03pm......
No wonder your generation has been tagged The Know Nothing Generation!
My generation? You have no idea what generation I come from, and, for that matter I don't know yours.
But, by the content and tone of your posts, it's a safe bet mine is older and much wiser.
"Enough patting yourself on the back for your half moment in Morocco! You've been bragging about it to anyone who would listen since the moment you got back - sorta takes the charitable aspect out of it if you use it as a prop like that, dontcha think?. Enough!"
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Oh. My. GOD. That was fucking hilarious!
Using a quote like that is SARCASM, you dumb dick.
keep digging that grave Bernard.....this is too fucking funny.
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If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with
-Stephen Stills
hahaha! you people are true tools! first defending a common skank like Maniston, then talking about a Lindsay Lohan "quote" as if it were some profound pronouncement that anybody over 14 would remember.
No wonder your generation has been tagged The Know Nothing Generation!
I take your pity as a joke Ziggy. Look who it is coming from!
*mutters to self what a stupid asshole Ziggy is*
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If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with
-Stephen Stills
One interesting difference between Jennifer and Angelina is that the former wears bikinis out on a beach and the latter rarely, if ever, wears bikinis out on a beach. Hmm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 7:12pm.
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Preach it Tigga'!
I love the beginning of Bridget Jone's Diary where she says something like: "...the only meaningful relationship I'll have is with a bottle of vodka.."
I'm always like..And what's so wrong with that????
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit, but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
oops...damn double post !
Submitted by Saltypretzel on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 6:34pm.
* hi-fives SaltyPretzel*
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Meh, sick of Aniston really, but I gotta say...Not all women want the whole marriage and chirruns thing. As women, we are told since birth that's what we want, just like we're told we want to be a size 2, blonde etc. Most (not all) of us grow out of that. We decide blonde doesn't suit us and we look and feel better as a size 6,8 or whatever...Very few question the white picket fence dream. But if THAT were Nirvana, then why the divorce rate so damn high? Why do I know so few happily married women? (I can think of one and they are not quite 2 years married). Listen here, whores, I don't want to be a size 2 (eventhough I actually am). I don't want to be blonde (which I'm not but was as a kid, tried to keep it up as an adult. Now I'm a deep dark brown, wish to go darker and will never go back) AND I DO NOT WANT CHILDREN OR A HUSBAND. There's nothing wrong with wanting them, of course, provided that IS what YOU really want, just like there is NOTHING wrong with NOT wanting them, provided that is really NOT what you want. It's so silly and ridiculous one has to prove thier 'worthiness' or sexuality by getting married and having children. The world would be a lot better place if more children were actually wanted and more marriages were actually genuine, not the result of some social pressure cooker.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Saltypretzel on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 6:34pm.
HAHAHAHA you NAILED it Salty...
These loonies really do have fewer brain cells, don't they!?!
@SaltyPretzel
Hahahahaha! ^5
Thanks for my second laugh o' the night!
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit, but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 11/26/2010 - 5:30pm.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 11/26/2010 -
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Enough patting yourself on the back for your half moment in Morocco! You've been bragging about it to anyone who would listen since the moment you got back - sorta takes the charitable aspect out of it if you use it as a prop like that, dontcha think?. Enough!
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Seriously?? Are you for fucking real???
kokoskitten didn't go to Morocco you dumbass. Her signature is a Lindsay Lohan quote. LL used that as an excuse as to why she missed one of her required alcohol education classes.
Next time try to get your facts straight before you start spewing bullshit, mmmkay??
If I had a peso for every time I slobbered over someone in Cabo, I would have 30,786,091 pesos. Plus change.
Ok it's an old song: Want Ads
Please have some dignity Jen!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99TRhKoauf4
Wanted! A young man single and free
Experience in love preferred but she'll accept a young tranny???
I hope he is wearing a condom. Jennifer has slept with half of Hollywood. God only knows what viruses are incubating in her as we speak.
I find it totally amusing that a loon would EVEN think about commenting on Jennifer's chin. Good gawd, have you not taken a close look at Skankalina's chin? You could lay down and take a nap on that thing!
I'm not really a fan of this woman, but I don't think she's a desperate spinster. She has money, good hair, and a hot body. She gets laid as often as she wants, and I think she's content to get another dog instead of birthing or buying a baby. Even if she wants a kid she has time --- apparently being 70 and pregnant is the hot new thing.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
no double standard here, sister!!
good for you.
OLD MAID....OLD MAID...OLD MAID!!
I don't give a dam about either one, but if I had to choose between a friend that dates many and sleeps with some, or a woman who steals others' husbands, Aniston wins hands down, at least you can trust her.
I don't see anything in these pics which tells me she's sleeping with whoever this is. It's a single girl taking a vacation in Cabo with friends..so what? If I could, I would too.
If having her money, being single, and vacationing wherever/whenever she wants makes her desperate, dear Lord, what must my life be?
Submitted by joanne on Fri, 11/26/2010
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The old double standard... Clooney is the man about town, sauve and all that crap and a woman is pathetic and desperate.
Actually, Clooney comes off as equally desperate ... always looking for a better beard! On the off chance he is straight (odds: zero!) then he's a skank, too - no double standard here, sister!!
The old double standard. A man sleeps around and he is sowing his oats, a woman does it and she is a skank. A man dates a much younger woman and he is a stud, a woman is called a cougar Clooney is the man about town, sauve and all that crap and aAniston is pathetic and desperate. We really didn't come so far. She is also not representing my Country to third world countries so I have no beef with her, she can do what she wants and its not making America look bad.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 11/26/2010 -
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Enough patting yourself on the back for your half moment in Morocco! You've been bragging about it to anyone who would listen since the moment you got back - sorta takes the charitable aspect out of it if you use it as a prop like that, dontcha think?. Enough!
I'm not a "fan" of Jennifer nor do I hate her with a fiery passion. Is she a not so great actress who seems like she has a very vanilla personality? to me, yes. But as far as I know she doesn't cheat on partners/husbands and she has a ton of money. I'm sure she could buy a husband ala Jessica Simpson (I mean I'm sure there are tons of guys who would marry her to be her sex toy/errand boy). Look wise while I don't think she is beautiful but she is not ugly. I'm sure she would adopt/get inseminated if she really wanted children. At least she's not sharing with the world all of her "mommy logic" and parenting ideas.Who knows , she may be a bitch in real life but I don't really get that vibe from her. I'm kind of at that age (33) where people are starting to ask me why I don't have kids (implying I'm selfish). It's not that I don't want them, it just hasn't happened and maybe it never will. Either way I'm fine with it. I just hate how all the loons decry that everyone who says anything decent about Jen must be a bitter, old, fat, washed up loser.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...