Cock The Shotgun?
Jessica Simpson was on the Early Show this morning promoting her engagement ring/Christmas album and she started the interview by saying that her breath smelled like yours after thinking about John Travolta fupa-fucking a dark peen in a sauna. Basically, it had the aroma of fresh vom. Jessica blamed it on the flu, but let me submit these pictures of her at LAX and JFK last night as evidence that she's possibly got a positive CASE OF THE BABIES!!!! It might explain the engagement, and it also might explain why Papa Joe dresses up in a cloth diaper and bonnet every morning to convince Jessica that she needs to start breastfeeding lessons as soon as possible. No, that's not right of him at all.
Or maybe she's not growing a baby in there at all. Maybe she's just got that HomeTown Buffet bloat. Shit, I'm about as bloated in the everything as she is and I'm not even preg- Wait. Is it possible for a biological male (keep your fingertips off the keys about that one) to conceive a child by rubbing his nipples over digital pictures of Mah Boo Anderson Cooper in a bunny costume? Excuse me while I go and do golden showers with an Ept.
• 
At this time of year, when the weather is starting to turn a bit colder, it's perfectly natural to start thinking about treating yourself to a nice new pair of winter boots.There are many ugg boots sale store which offer the full catalog of UGG boots. There are options available through ugg outlet, more and more uggs on sale are in stock with a wide array of styles and sizes.For an instance, UGG Bailey Button can be turned up or down at the cuff to either expose the fleece lining or keep the warmth locked in.One of the best options for cheap UGG boots – somewhat considering online stores that have a range of UGGs at great discount.
If her breath is bad...isn't she the one that bragged about she didn't like to brush her teeth? Anyways, I don't care what anyone says, I like her ruby engag-me ring...especially with the deep red polish. I think it's hot and sessay. But I like slutty so there you go. I'm glad she's getting bigger! Who the eff cares. She's already made her $ pile, so she can pretty much do whatever she wants. Besides, I have eaten a Luther or two in my time, so I welcome her with open arms to the thick side. Now I just gotta work on the rest of these skinny bitches.
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
Bitch is fat, period. Fattyfatfatty lazy farting ass NASTY fat dumb ho. Seriously, the gymnastics people perform to explain how she could not possible be fat but "just looks like it" reminds me of people back in the day claiming Dubya was not stupid, just spoke and acted like he was stupid, damn. Oh yes -- stupid, she's that, too, MOUFbreffin' stoopit. The End.
The baby will probably have her brains and his self-reliance.
Say something nice....ah fuck it, I got nothing.
*******************************************************************
"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 11/22/2010 - 1:27pm.
I don't understand how stupid broads like Jessica Simpson get all the boys in the yard.
---
Because their Papa Joes probably pay the dudes good chunks of $$$.
-----------------------------------------------
If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Bitch is startin to look like Sally Struthers.
Why does Jessica always let herself go when she thinks she has a man trapped good and tight? The girl is short. You cannot gain weight when you're short without looking like you're obese or pregnant with twins. These celebrities have cooks and body trainers at their fingertips and they can afford to pay them, unlike the average person. So they have no excuse for looking like an average person. WTF!
@ skinny fat "all I want is that bag": That bag says "PRADA" hon. You can get it at Barneys NY :-)
PRADA
Large Cavalino Tote
$3,100.00
Printed pony fold top tote with rolled handles and removable shoulder strap. Suede lined interior with zip pocket and two organizational pockets.
•13.5" x 18" x 7"
•8" handle drop
•Adjustable shoulder strap
•Available in Leopard
•Made in Italy
dibs on Daisy if it's a girl
why does everyone refer to him as a 'former NFL star' he was NEVER an NFL star.
i don't give a crap if she's pregnant or not (but man imagine the fat fat fatty she'll become if she is) and that ring is ugly and her fiance is a golddigger and all i want is the GD leopard bag which I KNOW is not from her tacky handbag collection because i can't find it.
God, that ring is hideous. It looks like something from a gumball machine.
Girlfriend looks preggers to me esp thumbnail 8 and 9. And that ring is ugly. Oh wait, all her jewelery is hideous. Can someone please explain to me why when you can't be bothered to get dress in something that looks like more than your dad's dirty t-shirt , you would throw on all that jewelery. Think she's having a hard time dressing because all her clothes are too tight?
I thought she only fucked within wedlock?
Or was it between wedlocks?
I may be mistaken here..
I've been running around in and out of the rain all day and look ready for my close-up compared to her.
Wow the more I see her, the more I think I share the same body type, thankfully I have more booty, but if it were a couple of years ago it would sound more flattering.
---------------------------------------
What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
Her boyfriend thinks he will be the next K-Fed. Mark my words.
--------------------------------------------
Wok out with your cock out!!
Obviously no one's told Jessucka so I'll do it:
Honey, you don't have 'im in the bag yet so take care of those roots, take a shower and throw those rags you're wearing into the goodwill donation bin. You look ropey.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 11/22/2010 - 12:49pm.
Who's more revolting when it comes to hygiene? Chestica or Shitney?
*************************************************
I say Chestica. I know a lot of ppl still disagree with me, but I think Brit Brit is really mentally ill. This b!tch is just fat and lazy.
_______________________________________________
Just a friendly reminder for chi-chi awareness month ;)
I said it before I'll say it again. She's not fat so why does she look so FAT?? It's not the boobs. I have friends with huge titty balls that do not look ginormous.
She looks like she smells and that ring is straight up from Avon's Holiday 2010 collection.
I hope the baby does NOT get her brains ( lack there of)
I hope she takes better care of her baby than the poor dog
I bet her head fucking smells.
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Another Jessica Simpson post, another disgusting insinuation about her dad, love it!
What's up with her anyways, I get that she doesn't have the discipline to stay as skinny as in her Dukes of Hazzard days but come on! She's really letting herself go...
I don't care if she is pregnant but she looks positively dirty and unkempt in that pic. Long gone are the days when people actually dressed up to travel.
-------------------------------------------------
"...Be Good"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_P-99st2oA&feature=grec_index
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
·...¸><((((
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 11/22/2010 - 12:56pm.
Poor Jess, always a Fatso never a Preg
****************************
LMAO!
***********************************************
You fondle my trigger, then you blame my gun
-Fiona Apple "Limp"
She has a fart stuck.
************************************************
“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
************************************************
damn I hope Harry Smith Purelled the shit outta his hand after that!
****************************
"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
...they both have butt-chins. Two people with ass cracks on their chinnie-chin-chins should never be allowed to breed.
I feel I must tell you that I always root for sexual napalm, I cannot help it...just like when I farted in the elevator the other day, I could NOT help myself, y'all. TMI?!
**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14
KD! I'd sell it!
****************************
"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
That ring still looks like it came from the jewelry section of the Avon brochure.
She's actually kind of starting to look like a blonde Kirstie Alley...
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 11/22/2010 - 1:16pm.
oh and ETA re the ring, I don't care if it did cost 100k, I wouldn't wear that ugly, tacky thing!
_______________________
*blinks* ... I BET YOU WOULD!!
Could be preg, but her tits don't look bigger. I remember before Salma Hayek announced she was pregnant, I immediately thought, "Yeah, she's knocked up" because her tits were HUGE. I mean they're usually huge, but I mean HUGE.
Since Chestica also has big tits, we'll know when she's preg because they will inflate like life rafts, and Papa Joe will blow his zipper just looking at them.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Look at them boobs! Definitely pregnant!
She does look like she's got a case of the babies.
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
She def has that morning sickness look.. makes since with the rush engagement. Poor guy stuck with this hot mess....
"I hate to see a slut fail"- Michael K
If Jessica really is knocked up, that baby will have subzero intelligence.
******************************************
"Sometimes the dick is so good you want to put their name on your checking account."
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 11/22/2010 - 12:49pm.
Who's more revolting when it comes to hygiene? Chestica or Shitney?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ummmm, that is a toss up. You have Chestica not brushing her teefs, passing gas none stop, left over jizz from her father on her, food particles on her person, smelly burps.
Then you have Shitney, bloody undies, nasty, matted weave, smelly feet from boots that don't breathe.
I guess I would go with Chestica, BUT Shitney would be VERY close second!
I saw these pics earlier and I thought she looked pregnant.. If she's not pregnant yet, she will be asap after the wedding.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
I don't understand how stupid broads like Jessica Simpson get all the boys in the yard.
--------------------------------------
"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
She is too young to be morphing into Rosemary Clooney.
Enlarge the ninth thumbnail,she has more chins than a chinese phonebook.
-------------------------------------------------
You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
That's not pregnant. That's a woman that's drinking too much booze and stuffing her face with pork rinds.
oh and ETA re the ring, I don't care if it did cost 100k, I wouldn't wear that ugly, tacky thing!
****************************
"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
that'a a burger king baby about to get misscarried into the nearest toilet, and since when is it cute have fuckin smells emitting from your holes? gross.
-------------------------------------------------
You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
DWM: watched TGWPWF again this weekend since my BF hadn't seen it, This time we watched it dubbed which I think takes away something from the acting but it's easier to watch.
can't wait for the Hornet's Nest to come out, ELB did you say it was coming out there this weekend? did you see it?
****************************
"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
thought you couldn't fly if you had the flu?
Ooh snowy like the new avie.
That ring is hideous.. really.. cracker jacks anyone?
____________________________________________
This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010