Eva & Tony Are Getting A Divorce, And They Mean It This Time!
TMZ reported yesterday that Eva Longoria and Tony Porkme took a machete to their cold dead marriage and filed for divorce. Then Eva's rep squatted on the rumor and pissed all over it. BUT NOW, People says Eva has filed for divorce for real this time. DAMN! Pick a hole and keep it in there! Seriously, when they asked her rep about this mess yesterday, they should've just said, "Ask me the same thing tomorrow."
After 3 years of marriage, Eva filed divorce papers in Los Angeles this morning. TMZ's sources say that Eva is all kinds of devastated. That might have something to do with UsWeekly's cover story that claims Eva closed her legs to Tony for good because she caught him sexting with one of their lady friends. Apparently, Eva found hundreds upon hundreds of text messages between Tony and his possible side-piece. The messages go back a year. The source went on to say, "Eva is heartbroken by the betrayal. Once the trust was lost, the marriage was over. Eva truly thought she was going to grow old with Tony and have children with him. She’s inconsolable."
So Eva is shocked that a professional athlete passed the peen and stuck it in banned pussy without a permission slip from his wife? Yeah, I guess Eva was absent the day the teacher gave a lecture about Elin Woods...Brett Favre...blah blah blah
And you know that "I'm trying to pull out a care, but I just can't" face you made yesterday when you read about their first divorce filing? Well, you can make that face again. You're getting good at it.
• 
Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 2:59pm.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 2:48pm.
Hispanic culture is built on a caste system where if you're light, you're right, and God help you if those African genes come poking out. My people are on the darker side of the Hispanic diaspora and I have so many cousins who are dark as hell who can't at all deal with a woman who fails the paper bag test...even borderline on the paper bag test. It's pathetic.
----
Shit, for real. I'm on the light side with hazel eyes and freckles. But I haven't had much luck with Hispanic men - my luck lies with black men. Go figure.
As for this ho - whatevs. She tried to get in with la raza by taking some Chicano studies classes at UCLA. Whatever, bitch.
****
Wow, I had no idea there was a caste system in hispanic culture.
Yeah, i've always loved how Eva was Hispanic when it was convenient. She opens a Hispanic restaurant and cooks Hormel chili at home. She comments on Hispanic issues and hangs with her homegirl Lopez but when Paves and JSimp and Vicky Beckham snap their fingers, she came running with her white girl pumps on. Fuck off you hypocrite.
My god, I despise this fat freak with the motor skills of a hooved animal. ~~ eat.pray.vomit
She looks like Victoria Beckham in that picture.
Submitted by Inigo Jones on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 10:39pm.
I have fucked up priorities but sex is an EXTREMELY sensitive topic for me. I don't know which is worse. I'd rather just have sex with someone who's willing to do it out of biological attraction much rather obligation. That's meaningless.
††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
†††††††††††††††††
She is annoying, he is unattractive, the marriage has no chemistry and now it is all over. Why are they celebrated?
I agree with Inigo, sex is actually more detached than this 'sexting' that goes on a year. I can forgive the sex first.
Sexting would hurt me more than sexing. The sexing I could write off as a fling or biological; the sexting is pure moral betrayal.
Submitted by JeanGenie on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 8:21pm.
As for these two, I've always found her resembling a rodent, I never liked her. And I absolutely always loathed him. So, really, I don't care. But I must say there are few things I could hate more than cheaters. Really. I don't care if she's obnoxious, high-maintenance or what the fuck ever. The disrespect and humiliation of cheating can and should be avoided. Dump her, divorce her first. Then go poon-hunting as much as you wish. If you can't love or commit anymore, fine, at least respect somebody who cared about you, sucker.
---------
GRACIAS. Read the thoughts my ass is too tired to type out about these hoors tonight.
If Parker cheated, he did it with a dude.....
That man is GAY!
-----------------------------------
"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 1:31pm.
Submitted by boomsy on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 12:47pm.
You know, someone told me years ago that there was some statistic about the more you spend on a wedding, the more likely you are to divorced. Don't know if that's true or not, but if so I guess I'll be married 'till the day I die because I got married at the courthouse...lol.
---------------------------------------------
I totally believe that. I'm not against fancy weddings, but to me, whenever I see someone go over the top, they're usually using the wedding as a distraction from the actual marriage. Marrying a younger pro basketball player at a French castle? Pffft, that thing was over before it began.
--------------------------
ITA. No wonder I got married in a courthouse, too, and wearing a very nice but simple red dress I could use anyday (and sometimes I do). Total cost: € 150, which was just a deposit and which we were fully refunded a month after the wedding. People attending: courthouse personnel, our parents, brothers and grandparents.
In the afternoon we said "well, thanks, bye everybody" we got back to our home, had fun together (hehe) and then co-op played Resident Evil 5 on the X360. I truly love my husband.
As for these two, I've always found her resembling a rodent, I never liked her. And I absolutely always loathed him. So, really, I don't care. But I must say there are few things I could hate more than cheaters. Really. I don't care if she's obnoxious, high-maintenance or what the fuck ever. The disrespect and humiliation of cheating can and should be avoided. Dump her, divorce her first. Then go poon-hunting as much as you wish. If you can't love or commit anymore, fine, at least respect somebody who cared about you, sucker.
---------
Silvio Berlusconi, just die already.
Monogamy from a ballplayer...Indeed.
I'm sticking to my theory that tatoos are the kiss of death: I know someone who got her husband's name on her neck in July and had filed for divorce and was moving to a new state with her boyfriend by October. (Still think she was cheating, but that's another story...)
**********************************************
Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Cheating and the end of a marriage are always sad :(
I never got the appeal of Tony either, to me he is not attractive and seemed to have little personality.
Shocking! There was talk about him cheating when they first got married. I don't know why these clowns bother getting married. No one could love them more then they love themselves. I don't like Longoria, but she could have done better then him. He looks dirty and not in a sexy way.
OH MY GOD a professional athlete that CHEATS ON HIS WIFE????!!! Say it isn't so!!
The minute she married him I thought to myself, "She is so self-centered I bet she thinks SHE'LL be the one that can keep her man reigned in, and will shove it in the face of any other player's wife." HAHAHAHA oh Eva, you silly bitch.
How long until Tom cheats on horseface?
__________
He started dating Giselle while his ex was pregnant. So I wouldn't feel badly for either of them if they broke up, karma's a bitch.
These professional athletes have tons of whores and groupies all over them. That is probably why so many of them cheat. How long until Tom cheats on horseface?
damn, and I thought Tony was one of the good ones...I don't know I thought possibly because of his French background he would have had some boundaries and possibly morals...not to mention if he was going to cheat be very discreet. Europeans (and having European parents) seemed to value marriage...at least in my folks generation, Mr. Parker's to americanized to come back to his French roots....but maybe being with a celebrity wife was his downfall...or maybe he is just another cheating dog.
And the home wrecking ho is......drum roll please.....Brent Barry's wife, Erin Barry. Eva found hundreds of texts messages from the ho to Tony. So why is Tony ho'ing w/ a bitch that looks so much like his wife? That don't make no sense.
HER publicist said it wasn't true cause she wanted to beat him to the lawyers. Simple as that.
How anyone can live with her annoying ass is beyond me. Didn't she host some event the other night with ass hanging all over the damn floor?
Fuck.
Submitted by TheCocoaCritic on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 4:49pm.
Here's the headline at Radaronline:
Eva Longoria Breaks Silence: Tony Parker Cheated On Me With Teammate’s Wife
*************************************************
So what they are saying is...there is an even bigger gold digging whore on planet Earth than Eva Longoria? Bitch beat her at her own game.
Lord have mercy.
Here's the headline at Radaronline:
Eva Longoria Breaks Silence: Tony Parker Cheated On Me With Teammate’s Wife
******************************************
http://cocoacritic.net
No shocker.
-----------------------------------------------
If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
once again, i will never understand why any of these people get married.
***********************************************
I don't wanna kiss you, I don't wanna touch
I don't wanna see you cuz I don't miss you that much
-Elvis Costello "No Action"
Mario Lopez says Eva also confirmed that the mystery woman is MARRIED to one of Parker's teammates per TMZ.
Submitted by Anonymous Q on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 2:33pm.
What did she say about his lack of sexual experience?
**************************************************************
I vaguely remember Eva saying something about having to teach Tony some things when they were dating. I remember it because I thought that was obnoxious of her and condescending to Tony.
Tony is younger than her. And I remember her saying something like, she was looking to marry and baseball star. So she's no different than the Kardassian sluts.
Tony, don't worry. You are free now!
____________________________________________________________
"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
Alright alright. I feel a teeny tiny microscopic bit sorry for her. Looking at people magazine pics of "the way they were" I think she actually did love that fool. She's not good enough and actress to fake that shit. And how can you not feel bad for a broad dumb enough to think an athlete (even a Z-list) one wouldn't cheat?
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 2:54pm.
"I’m shocked, shocked to find that cheating is going on in here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love you for quoting Casablanca.
As for these two dimtards, DO NOT CARE. Anyone who marries an athlete is just asking to be cheated on.
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
"You're disssthphicable!!!!!"
How immature. I guess she had to the one to file? Either way both Cali and Texas are 50/50 states so if no prenup was signed one of them is fucked.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 2:45pm.
Submitted by ButtersBottomBitch on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 2:10pm.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 1:57pm.
so I guess you have to wait until they're around 70...that way they're somewhat grateful to have a hot piece of ass.
------------------------------
Nope. Thanks to viagra, even 70 year olds are still chasing ass. My uncle is 77 and he's still fucking.
______________________
Yeah, there's nothing more sexy than an old man's wrinkly Sharpei looking peen and saggy balls. Reality check. No woman wants to fuck a man who has to take medicine to have sex. And no woman wants to fuck an old man, period (unless she's desperate or has alzheimers). Now excuse me while I go puke my guts up.
Never date or marry an athlete.
Athletes might be OK for a one-night stand, but otherwise, I hope you don't mind sharing some community dick.
††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
†††††††††††††††††
i'm surprised she even cares cause the doode has a buttload of cash and he's french and a sports star! its part of the territory.
PAY ATTENTION TO US!
With her airing personal details of the boudoir, perhaps she could hook up with John Mayer, but they're both so hot in bed that it'd be a sexual nuclear holocaust.
††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
†††††††††††††††††
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 2:48pm.
Hispanic culture is built on a caste system where if you're light, you're right, and God help you if those African genes come poking out. My people are on the darker side of the Hispanic diaspora and I have so many cousins who are dark as hell who can't at all deal with a woman who fails the paper bag test...even borderline on the paper bag test. It's pathetic.
----
Shit, for real. I'm on the light side with hazel eyes and freckles. But I haven't had much luck with Hispanic men - my luck lies with black men. Go figure.
As for this ho - whatevs. She tried to get in with la raza by taking some Chicano studies classes at UCLA. Whatever, bitch.
"I’m shocked, shocked to find that cheating is going on in here."
- - - - -
All of the 'actors' mentioned are well-known homosexuals.
Hispanic culture is built on a caste system where if you're light, you're right, and God help you if those African genes come poking out. My people are on the darker side of the Hispanic diaspora and I have so many cousins who are dark as hell who can't at all deal with a woman who fails the paper bag test...even borderline on the paper bag test. It's pathetic.
Looking for a reason to care-hmm-can't find it,oh well.
Submitted by ButtersBottomBitch on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 2:10pm.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 1:57pm.
so I guess you have to wait until they're around 70...that way they're somewhat grateful to have a hot piece of ass.
------------------------------
Nope. Thanks to viagra, even 70 year olds are still chasing ass. My uncle is 77 and he's still fucking.
way to be difficult, BBM :P LOL!
so I guess we come back full circle...if you marry an athlete, a star athlete, a hot star athlete...be prepared to follow him around and fuck his brains out every night multiple times a night. even then, that may not work.
so you would have to come into the situation understanding that there may be a side piece. as long as she stays relegated to jumpoff status, it's ok.
the good news is all the time he spends away "working" and chasing tail, you can also get on that hawt pool boy yourself.
Marriage really isn't about sex...it's about a long term commitment no matter if you're sick or well, poor or rich or whatever. SEX is about sex. Problem is of course that one random hook up turns into two...and three...and more. And then emotional stuff gets mixed in and it quickly descends into clusterfuck territory.
@ Karen Flatts
Not surprised to hear she's a self-race-hater, because this dumb midget cunt constantly yaps about how she was the ~ugly duckling~ as a child because she was dark-skinned. Asshole. There are countless dark-skinned/black actresses who are way prettier than her fugly ass, and who can actually ACT.
Generally I don't give a fuck about these two.
But glad to know I won't have to deal anymore with this try-hard asshole bitch giving interviews every week about their sex life. She looks like a lousy lay too, the kind who just lies there staring at her manicure.
What did she say about his lack of sexual experience?
Most pro athletes simply require someone who has a similar energy/drive level to keep relatively quiet. If you have that, you are golden. If you don't, you have to expect the athlete to keep a few extra pieces in his/her pocket to snack on.
She ran her mouth about him not having much sexual experience.. bitch, who the hell do you think you is? Now she wants fucking spousal support? Ha.
Pretty obvious she didn't have what was required and here is the result.
Good luck to both of them.
--thanks awfully--
I've never liked Eva since this.
http://news.softpedia.com/news/Eva-Longoria-Apologizes-to-Aniston-For-I-...
Just a shitty thing to do.
Found a link to the pic of her wearing the shirt.
http://media.entertainment.sky.com/image/unscaled/2005/4/21/Eva-Longoria...
******************************************
http://cocoacritic.net
I'll say it again:
Good. Fuck these two overpaid racists.
After the incident where they got pulled over (in Texas? Somewhere...) and she yelled at Tony "He's just a Mexican bike cop. He only wants your autograph." Then they both yelled obscenities and insults. The cop put this in the report and had witnesses.
Supposedly they also pulled the old "don't you know who I am...I'll have your badge" with asshole Parker jumping in and threatening him for good measure. She of course denied saying it using the excuse that she would never say that because she's Mexican (because self-loathing is unheard of, right?) but went on to admit in an interview that her grandmother wasn't allowed to see a picture of Tony Parker because she would find out he was "black". Okay, you retarded pig, that makes us believe you...
Fuck both of them, and thank GOD they didn't produce any more brain dead racists.
In other, more surprising news, the sun is really, really hot.
Don't these guys learn from Jeter or the entire Philly Flyers team, who crash Temple U. sorority parties and bang out the sorority sisters?
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
OH SHIT ITS DARREN SHAWPUH, ONE OF THE MOST HARDEST HITTING SAFTYS IN DA LEAGEEEEE!
"DAMN! Pick a hole and keep it in there! "
Oh MK!!! That is the BEST LINE EVER!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
Well, Parker is French and having a piece on the side is part of their lifestyle. Come to think of it, though, Longoria is a Mex from way back and men having hainas is also a basic fact of Latino life, so why is this such an issue? They both come from cultures which practically sanction male extramarital hoo-ha (and in the case of France, female straying as well), so it seems as if something else is afoot here. Maybe the side piece is pregnant? Maybe she's about to tell the press about Tony's kinky sex practices? Maybe Tony is in love with the side piece? V. fishy all around.
I never believed the publicist saying that the divorce wasn't true.
TMZ pays really good money to get their info right, so they can avoid law suits, so you know that someone in the court office gave up the goods for some Christmas money. *LOL*
I remember when Eva was dating Tony and she talked about him like you talk about a child and she had to "school" him. What a bitch!!!
Tony is lucky to be free of her. If he was sexting, then you know he was bored.
____________________________________________________________
"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 1:57pm.
so I guess you have to wait until they're around 70...that way they're somewhat grateful to have a hot piece of ass.
------------------------------
Nope. Thanks to viagra, even 70 year olds are still chasing ass. My uncle is 77 and he's still fucking.