Sunday, November 14th 2010
Mekka Lekka Hi Mekka Douchey Ho!
Here's John Mayer struttin' that ass while leaving Pee-wee Herman on Broadway last night dressed like a late-in-life lesbian who only shops in the boys department at Walmart.
Nevermind that John has a slightly surprised look on his face like he can't believe Miss Yvonne turned down his offer to mekka her hiney, I never knew that John had hair as luxurious as a Cocker Spaniel's ass bush. Forget the whole "being the biggest douche who ever douched" thing, bitch should be a Breck girl.
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He looks toothless. He's got that mushmouth happening.
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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
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Are those skeezer parachute pants? He does look like a late in life lesbian. Not that they can help it but he can. It's his droopy moomby look in the chestal area and the saggy look in the chestical area.
John Mayer looks like an opium addict. You know like in the film the Lover - all those guys in Indochina sitting in Opium dens...they all look like John Mayer: same yellow complexion, dark circle around eyes, stoic look. He is a very unattractive man and an asshole so naturally women flock around him because most women are desperate bitches.
..
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
This asshole looks like shit.
He's starting to get that scuzzy greasy bear look.
And do NOT mention his name in the same sentence as my Johnny, or I will cut choo.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Heh. All the posts here pointing out John Mayer's chick-notyzin' lyrics remind me of something my husband told me the other day--
He had a friend several years back who got plenty of action, and the friend revealed his secret to getting women to sleep with him: He made it a point to use the word "soul" three times in conversation with them. He said it worked every time.
Skeptic that I am, I asked what happened if he said "soul" four times, or even five. Or what if he said it two times, and then was interrupted while saying it the third time? Or what if he'd ordered filet of sole--did that count? All of which kind of ruined my husband's fun story, and now he won't talk to me.
Mekka Lekka Hi Mekka Douchey Ho!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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HOW DAAAAARRRRRREEEE YOU?! Look at my avvie! LOOK AT IT!
Oprah was born to pontificate (and bloviate as well). Her superpowers are located in her hair thankyouverymuch - by But.Seriously.Folks
Oh god, he is one dirty and dazed looking m-f-er. The biggest mystery of this damn year is how he gets all the chicks.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Is he wearing bronzer?!
At first, being not familiar with the high artistry that is Pee-Wee Herman, I did not understand the headline.
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 10:14pm.
I thought it was Johnny Depp. I fail to see why some swoon over one and gag at the other.
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I think it has to do with what comes out of their mouths.
Unfortunately, many girl swoon over Mayer, just not here at Dlisted.
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
He's getting that creepy Russell Brand look in his eyes.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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He sounds like he's got indigestion, like he's got chicken grease stuck in his throat while he's constipated and his has nuts in a vice. A lot of people confuse that with being soulful. He looks like Harry Hamlin's inbred nephew and dresses like a hipster version of a My Buddy doll.
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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
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I like some of his music. He's still a tool of the highest order otherwise, though.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
I never understood the appeal of him, either. I think he sounds like he's mumbling in most of his songs. Your Body is a Wonderland is particularly annoying - I think they played it on the radio once an hour at the restaurant I worked at.
Oh yah, this douche does resemble Depp.
Depp being a family man (according to most hos) as them folks like is more appealing than sleazy fuckface then. That's the answer why women like one and not the other.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 11/15/2010 - 5:32am.
THIS bitch again?
Who listens to him?
I mean, WHO? I don't know ONE single person that buys his shit!
ONE!
Erm, that would be me. I (not so ) secretly love him. But his Davis Duke Dick will never love me back.
****shamefaced****
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"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you." - Philip Larkin.
I feel like I need a colonic after viewing this walking scrotal sac!
faggy (in the south park sense [yeah so that episode more taught us that srsly we *may* be offending gays when we're using the f term thats roolly the best insult to homophobes{so's not usable anymore, girl punch in the face now only alternative}]) douche lord. you know what he belongs on? if snooki had a star fkn 2nd cousin who had her own youtube channel, the 2nd cousin would only fck him if cannes coincided with sundance/the mtv euros & coachella n she was stuck in LA with only 4$
DOUCHE!!!
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
He's such a total poser. Anyone who works that hard to convince everyone how smart, edgy, and hetrosexual they are is most like none of those things.
Absolutley fucking gorgeous to look at! But his personality is absolutely fucking appaling! I hate this fucking asswipe with a firey passion. He is an absolute tool. An egotistical, shallow, misogynistic piece of shit. And his music sucks!
I don't get what women see in him. This is the same guy that will sleep w/you and tell all.
Ugh, no thanks. I prefer men who look like they've showered in the past 6 months
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 9:14am
THIS bitch again?
Who listens to him?
I mean, WHO? I don't know ONE single person that buys his shit!
ONE!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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He's rollin'
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Hey baby! Did heaven lose a star? 'cause you've got niiiiiiice cans...
He is not aging well at all.
"Sometimes I get so flushed. Do your palms ever itch?"
Submitted by Crystal Lynn on Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:05am.
Sorry, I have to agree with a previous poster that these women are the dumb ones. He basically says all he wants is to get laid. I can appreciate a slut. I'd fuck him!
I think he's pretty cute when his hair is shorter and he's more clean shaven like this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_JUw2aRvPUwc/Sw5KClbSEtI/AAAAAAAANGU/64IKOO0T_s...
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I agree (runs and hides)
Here goes at the risk of being banned for life from this site: I recently saw my first John Mayer clip (yes, I am that pathetically backwards and out of date) and I was pleasantly surprised with his effortless talent. The guy may be a douche, but he sure as hell knows his way around a guitar and he has this unique singing voice. Sorry, but the truth needs to be told.
*quickly shuts down computer to avoid seeing avalanche of "STFU Eorotrash" comments*
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Who are you calling silly cow?
he would completely fit in in any international metropolis-type asian city, looking like that.
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kiss my ass!
didn't he sing that "Daughters" song? oh yeah, women eat that shit up. I've been guilty of falling for the slut-disguised-as-a-sensitive-guy and his fuckery.
The husband and I were just talking about this ho earlier tonight because he said he saw the cover of some rag at the supermarket claiming Giada DeL might be pregnant (my husband noticed b/c he likes Giada for TWO REASONS, guess which..) and I remembered the recent rumor that she and JM might be sexxin.
A Giada/John baby would look like a hairy pirhana
Sorry, I have to agree with a previous poster that these women are the dumb ones. He basically says all he wants is to get laid. I can appreciate a slut. I'd fuck him!
I think he's pretty cute when his hair is shorter and he's more clean shaven like this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_JUw2aRvPUwc/Sw5KClbSEtI/AAAAAAAANGU/64IKOO0T_s...
He looks like a mouthbreather; also looks like the kind of guy who doesn't shave his nuts.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
I hope Douche leaves New York this week as I will be there in a few days. I can't stand his cheating, player ass. He is lucky he gets any ass at all!
OMG, why are women entranced by this slimy piece? He totally looks like an unwashed horde. Add that to the STDs he's probably spreading around and you've got yourself a true mystery. But I guess if one has to choose between a young smelly rich douche and an old creaky rich one, young wins out every time. Bleh.
The first thing I thought when I saw this post was that he was getting on the engagement announcement train too.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
Too funny- dubious, I do Kempo as well! Hahaha- I will not say where I train, because I teach part time, and half the shit I say here is not what I want my clients/students to connect to me. You never know who is reading.
You should totally go back into it! If you love it, then yes. It will help with the stress of work/lack of work. I got my 7th belt last month, which is Green.
:)
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I don't wanna kiss you, I don't wanna touch
I don't wanna see you cuz I don't miss you that much
-Elvis Costello "No Action"
LOL! Problem is, he's not masculine enough. I also think he's a closet homo.
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Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 10:59pm.
Fucker looks like the Geico caveman, yuck.
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
I don't get all the Jon Mayer hate. He's not the stupid one. The girls who sleep with him knowing what he is are the stupid ones. He has told anyone with ears what he's all about, so it's not like it's a State's Secret kinda thing.
Wow Parissucks, Martial arts 4 to 5 times a week????? Holy S&$T! You must be badass! What discipline?
I did Kempo-Karate (Ed Parker) classes 13 years ago and just did it only on Saturdays at first. It was tough, but fun and rewarding.
I ended up getting more serious with it and studied 2 to 3 times a week and managed to progress to a Yellow Belt. I was approaching Orange but then I was offered a big job promotion. I followed that up with a kick to my neck while sparring 2 days later --- F'IN BIG OUCH!
Anyway, I chose the job and quit the Karate. Unfortunately, I haven't been back since. Maybe I should take it up again now that I'm only partially employed due to this $hit economy. Besides, I have a few Ex-boyfriends whose asses I'd like to kick, and of course - John Mayer.
Lmao.
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
Fucker looks like the Geico caveman, yuck. And never understood why this dick cheese seems to want all and sundry to think he's this edgy thinker. He's shot to fame tailoring his tracks to the easy listening yupster market for fuck's sake.
Looks like Chairy roughed him up good.
me too dubious- was a 12-18 timer, usually 15. Great stuff. Haven't done them in a while, because I do Martial Arts 4-5x a week..I should add them back in....
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I don't wanna kiss you, I don't wanna touch
I don't wanna see you cuz I don't miss you that much
-Elvis Costello "No Action"
He looks nasty and I bet his peen is rotting from all the sluttin's around. Eew.
Is it a slow news day?
Too funny Parissucks!
The funny thing was what a lousy jock he is. He pretends to be such a great athlete, but one time I was there with my now Ex-boyfriend :( and he totally climbed faster than Douchebag Mayer. It's tough, but it's short, so it's not really THAT hard a climb. I think Mayer only did them 4 or 5 times and he was so out of breath. LOL
We used to do those 15 to 20 times, 3 or 4 times a week. I almost went today actually. LOL!
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
Any woman who gets with this douchebag should be ashamed of herself. Nasty, nasty.
hahahahhaha dubious! I saw him there too, a couple of years ago. I think I blocked that one out for a while.....
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Why do you keep on making us hear your song
Telling us how you are changing right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!
- Stevie Wonder
More like the Geico Cavegirl.