I See What You Did There, Papa Joe
Jessica Simpson is engaged, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that her ex-husband Nick Lachey is ALSO engaged to that Vanessa Manilallaoolala trick. NOTHING. No, Papa Joe didn't run out to the nearest Zales, pick up the shiniest ring in the 50% off tray and then tape a picture of Eric Johnson's face to his head to get on one knee to propose to his owner daughter. And no, Papa Joe didn't find Eric rifling through Jessica's pocket book to tell him that he'll drop a little bonus in his payroll check if he just goes along with the engagement. NO! None of that happened. Eric proposed because nothing makes his heart beat like Jessica's edible farts.
A source tells UsWeekly that after 6 months of dating, Eric asked Jessica to be his wife on Thursday. Jessica had a giant ring on her gettin' hitched finger while promoting her clothing line at Dillard's in Kansas City. Jessica's spokeswhore confirmed this shit to People: "Yes, we are excited to confirm that they are engaged!"
YES! Shots fired! The bride wars start now. And no, it's not going to go down between Jessica and Vanessa. If anybody's going to be brawlin' over veils in Kleinfeld's showroom it's going to be Vanessa and Papa Joe. I can't wait for that episode of Say Yes to the Dress.
• 
Yeah this smacks so hard of complete desperation. It's also really painfully nasty to announce this very sudden engagement mere days after "congratulating" nick & vanessa. It's like "me too! me too! I'm also happy!" stupid vindictive sorostitute.
Her "engagement" is very ill-timed. If she and her dad had an ounce of class they wouldn't try to steal the moment from Nick and Vanessa. So obvious. Jessica needs self-esteem more than she needs a man.
Submitted by WallyRaffle: "bitch needs pets."
She had one, and it ran away from her, preferring to be eaten by wild wolves. Take note, Mr. Johnson.
bitch needs pets.
*side eye* on the whole simpson clan...
_____________________________________________
Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
I think Jessica Simpson is annoying and I find this engagement right after Lachey's to be a really desperate move on her part, but I am tired of people complaining about her weight.
She is borderline plus sized. Women can be healthy and plus sized. That doesn't mean she is unhealthy, fat, and inactive. I find this plus size woman in the Lane Bryant ad to be beautiful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r2iSx8pSpE
She is thick, but she is not fat. Jessica has a similar body type.
I am not defending her actions as a person. I am defending her as a woman sick of misogynistic comments about women of all shapes and sizes, whether they are skinny, normal, chubby, thick, or overweight. I can understand calling out someone with an eating disorder, but if someone seems healthy and happy, I support women being ten pounds heavier if it means not starving themselves or going to the gym for three hours each day to have the perfect body.
Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 11/15/2010 - 3:45am.
She IS fat, she has a massive gut and no curves whatsoever. She's a tree stump with implants and an ugly man face. And I don't know why people keep defending her, oh poor her, its Papa Joe's fault. She's 30! Time to acknowledge she's a mean spoilt bitch, and this is an asshole thing to do only to get back at her ex and his fiance.
Bjork You:
Dating a woman like Jessica Simpson and FUCKING a woman like Jessica Simpson are two different things!
You CAN have one without the other!
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Uh, compare how she looked when married to nick lachey and now. She's put on 30-40 lbs; she's got a case of the chunky chubbs. She's wearing loose fitting clothes to cover her weight gain. There's no doubt about it; that's reality.
Here's the conversation that CHESTica had with her boyfriend: "OK, I want to get married now. I'll buy the ring, let's announce it today!" No, that's not cunty to rush to announce it after 5 months of knowing this dude, to cover your inability to move on from a dude you dumped 5 years ago (who dated his girlfriend for 4 years before announcing their engagement). No, that's not cunty at all...
----------------------------------------
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
a) She is NOT FAT. Seriously-she's just a petite woman who is very curvy. DListers' comments about women's bodies amaze me considering that people here are usually more perceptive than at other sites. The girl is obviously just short and curvy, and that always comes across as bigger than it is. I look bigger in pictures also, but IRL people call me skinny.
b) This shit is just sad, and this girl is not going to get a healthy romantic life until her Dad is out of the picture, as in dead. Then she'll meet some nice Texan business man who will match her. She could meet that guy now, but with PJ controlling her career, everything has to be an image thing. There are tons of guys in Texas who think she's hot and would date a nice girl with brains enough to have a business all while looking like a trophy blond. But of course she won't get that chance until she's way older. I suspect that she will become a cooler person after her parents are dead-some people just don't evolve until then. And their conservative values are forcing their daughters into some stupid relationships.
-----------------------------------------------
"Don't trust anyone I could blindfold with dental floss."
-Submitted by karmaskull on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 4:51pm.
a) She is NOT FAT. Seriously-she's just a petite woman who is very curvy. DListers' comments about women's bodies amaze me considering that people here are usually more perceptive than at other sites. The girl is obviously just short and curvy, and that always comes across as bigger than it is. I look bigger in pictures also, but IRL people call me skinny.
b) This shit is just sad, and this girl is not going to get a healthy romantic life until her Dad is out of the picture, as in dead. Then she'll meet some nice Texan business man who will match her. She could meet that guy now, but with PJ controlling her career, everything has to be an image thing. There are tons of guys in Texas who think she's hot and would date a nice girl with brains enough to have a business all while looking like a trophy blond. But of course she won't get that chance until she's way older. I suspect that she will become a cooler person after her parents are dead-some people just don't evolve until then. And their conservative values are forcing their daughters into some stupid relationships.
-----------------------------------------------
"Don't trust anyone I could blindfold with dental floss."
-Submitted by karmaskull on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 4:51pm.
Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Mon, 11/15/2010 - 12:23am.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 9:39pm.
She and LeAnn need to start a "Look at me-I have no self esteem" blonde has-been support group.
**************************************************
Ain't that the truth?! Add Britney Spears to the list, because she did this crap with KFed. Chesica will have to support her loser man too. I bet Chesica had to buy her own ring too. Wonder if she still sells her edible make-up on QVC?
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 9:39pm.
She and LeAnn need to start a "Look at me-I have no self esteem" blonde has-been support group.
----
Co-fucking-sign! When it comes love, both those tricks have a seriously distorted grasp of reality when it comes to relationships and love...it's like they watched one too many Disney Princess movies growing up when they were kids.
-----------------------------------------------
If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
okay, honestly, who here is secretly still hoping for a Nick and Jessica reunion?!
*raises hand, slowly looks around, runs and hides*
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 9:39pm.
She and LeAnn need to start a "Look at me-I have no self esteem" blonde has-been support group.
________________________________________
Seriously. Agree! You think the publicists/managers/handlers would be able to reign this stuff in or give better advice because their PR is a totsl mess!!
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Also, how cunty to think you're getting that Vanessa person for stealing the man you no longer wanted by announcing your engagement to People magazine days after hers.
To quote The Breakdown: EPIC. FAIL.
As many have pointed out, you look desperate, Jessica, not desired, not confident, just desperate.
Papa Joe must have molested you in high school because you're still there.
God, have you ever dated a woman like Jessica Simpson? If not, consider yourself lucky.
Are you gonna call, when are you gonna call, I'll call you, okay, but it's okay if you call me first, so call me, okay, or if you don't call me, then I'll call you, oh, god, I think I love you...
Run!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favorite Jessica quote from the People article: "He's the one for me right now!"
Right now. That's what you say when you buy a trendy dress that fits right, which she can't ever seem to do.
She and LeAnn need to start a "Look at me-I have no self esteem" blonde has-been support group.
Poor bastard... I feel his pain.
I know they're claiming that's a Neil Lane ring, but it looks an awful like this one I saw on Zale's website (minus the center stone and gold color)......
http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4319430&kpc=1
**********************************************
Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
This story is hilarious. Not too many people are happy for her. I think it’s quite obvious this was an elaborate scheme to take the attention off of Nick. Don’t most celebrities try to keep engagements private right after they happen? Instead of her rep giving a “no comment” answer about Jessica’s love life we get an engagement announcement.
I think the problem with her getting engaged so soon after Nick is that she announced it right away. I can understand her announcing it to her family and friends, but People magazine? Come on, she is being an attention whore. If I were Nick I would be laughing my ass off. Jessica is totally one of those people who has to brag about how great her life is because it really isn’t that great. I used to be jealous of people like her but not anymore. My life is probably better than I think it is.
How much dumber can this fucker get? FUCK! Just take the damn money and buy shit, or go help people. STOP trying to find love, CHESTica Simpson, it is not happening.
Nick treated her like a queen. He's a nice guy, good for Vanessa.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 6:12pm.
Isn't his ass all broke and shit?
I like how the People write up refers to him as a Free Agent NFL football player, which sounds to me like a fancy way of saying unemployed.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 6:12pm.
Isn't his ass all broke and shit?
I heard that also and that Chestica pays for everything. The ring must be a fake!!
Nick is probably the best she will ever have (sighs) sucks for her
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Isn't his ass all broke and shit?
I've said it before and I'll say it again -- She really should've stayed with Nick in the first place.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 5:04pm.
Let's assume/pretend that this guy got the ring and was going to "surprise" her with a proposal. If someone proposed to me a week after my ex got engaged I would probably be offended, think it was tacky, and be a little creeped out. I would hope (and again pretending this was his idea) that my guy would have the sense to hold off for a few months because he wouldn't want me to look so desperate to the whole world.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
______________________
100% cosign.
Also, even if my bf proposed a week after my ex got engaged (tacky is the perfect word), I would keep that news locked the fuck down until a respectable time period had passed. This is now looking like a pathetic game of one-ups-manship.
he's got midget fingers.
Let's assume/pretend that this guy got the ring and was going to "surprise" her with a proposal. If someone proposed to me a week after my ex got engaged I would probably be offended, think it was tacky, and be a little creeped out. I would hope (and again pretending this was his idea) that my guy would have the sense to hold off for a few months because he wouldn't want me to look so desperate to the whole world.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
I feel bad for Nick and Vanessa. They have been together for years, did it right, and finally got engaged. No sooner do the words make it to the press, than JEssica Simpson announcing her own engagement after a short six months of dating. She's a bitch. I never thought so before, but now I am sure of it. What an asshole.
Submitted by govt_cheese on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 4:47pm.
Bullshit! Any side bets going on as to how long this one's gonna last?
-------------------------------
If she gets pregnant right before/after the wedding, then I'm betting at least 2 years.
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by TequilaTax on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 4:40pm.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 2:37pm.
_____________________________
I've spent weekends like that too...I was loosely basing that scenario on some real life situations.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Bullshit! Any side bets going on as to how long this one's gonna last?
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
As useless as a saggy pair of tits
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 4:38pm
Please don't give that chick any more ideas for making cash.
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 2:37pm.
For some reason Jessica doesn't reaally bother me. Maybe because she comes off as so pathetic and desperate...I can totally picture her when this relationship ends laying in bed wearing sweats and having not showered for days/weeks. The room is dark and some crappy Lifetime movie is playing in the background. The bed will be filled with empty wine bottles, crumbs, wrappers, pizza crusts etc and the nightstand is filled with a dozen half empty and melted ben&jerry's containers.
-----------------------------
Sounds like how I spent my weekend. ;-)
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 4:22pm.
Now we are going to be inundated with all the sad Jessica/revenge Jessica/race to see who has the first wedding/Jessica's heartbreak tabloid covers for the next few months.
And then...the Jessica Simpson Maternity Line.
*******************************************************************
"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
They've been together only 5 months, and Nick announced his engagement two days ago. Yeah this isn't shady at all.
Sorry Jess, but that ring, along with the timing of your "engagement" is extremely TACKY. That thing looks like some of that birthstone shit you would get from your grandparents for your 13th birthday.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You're welcome to your opinion unless it differs from mine.
Now we are going to be inundated with all the sad Jessica/revenge Jessica/race to see who has the first wedding/Jessica's heartbreak tabloid covers for the next few months.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
I don't mean to perpetuate the stereotype but it's not as pathetic when Vanessa leeches off of Nick. We expect that in our patriarchal society but when your ass is so pathetic you have to basically buy a man to get over the ex your dumbass cheated on, well now that's just sad. Mazel tov to Jessica's newest bought piece. He must be really desperate for cash to shack up with her dumbass.
Ok, I'm a Dlisted Slut of Everyday, and I say some foul shit..but I have to defend Jessica. I live in Dallas, and I have seen this Ho 4 times over the last 5 years.
She is not fat. When you see her in person she has huge boobs, but she is definitly not fat. I would love to have her body. Her legs are nice,her stomach is flat, she has a tiny waist and her ass is cute. I've see Kim Whoredashian in person too, and she's 'thicker' than Jessica.
Carry on.
She's beyond pathetic.
Desperate much? What a sad joke
I bet they slipped him a roofie, and when he woke up Chestica was waving around a diamond ring that Daddy went out and got her, gushing, "That was SUCH a romantic proposal! I'm SO happy!"
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
In Jessica's defense - this was overheard in New York recently:
Travel to the KateMossphere at Your Own Risk
Girlfriend to fiance, while shaking ring off of finger: Look, my ring is getting too big again. Am I losing weight?
Fiance: You're losing weight and I'm losing interest in you.
♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James
Uvy, she has some gaudy taste. I usually do not like what she wears.
***********************************************
Why do you keep on making us hear your song
Telling us how you are changing right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!
- Stevie Wonder
Why does she do this to herself? She makes it so easy. Smh
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Jessica Simpson is so fucking juvenile.