Cindy Boo Hoo
The hardest and edgiest rabid raccoon in the dumpster behind a Hot Topic has revealed the secret ingredient to her Emo-approved angstface and why she's always shuffling around like someone just told her Emily the Strange died. It's because she eternally miiiiiiseeeeeeraaaaaaaable. And not in a "13-year-old who bases all of their manufactured emotions on Bright Eyes songs and not Cure songs because that would be soooo cliche" kind of way. She's like authentically miserable! You would be able to tell from the tears of misery that pour out of her eyes but the toxic sludge on her face disintegrates them before they get to cheek.
Just like any other whiny ass teenager, Taylor blames the gloom and doom on her parents who pushed her out onto the "babies only" part of the ho stroll at a young age. From Starpulse (via UsWeekly):
"Everyone's like, 'Wow, why is she upset and why is she so miserable about things?' My parents signed me up with Ford (modeling agency) at the age of two. No two-year-old wants to be working, but I had no choice. My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn't have friends. I was working constantly and I didn't have a real life."
Well, it's never too late to go back and live a "real life" childhood. So I suggest that Taylor takes a box of baby wipes to her face and crawls into the nearest kindergarten class room to play Barbies with the other kids. The nipple tape and vibrators will be waiting for her when she gets back (not really). And in the meantime, let's all give the sad panda a hug.
Because whether we like it or not, a sad panda gives all of us the sads.
• 
cue stupid girl by garbage
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK
It seems that no matter what parents are always going to be the ones to blame when people screw up or if they are just miserable with themselves. God gave everyone free will, it is up to us to use it.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Sat, 11/13/2010 - 2:29am.
I agree. I love the goth look, but she just looks manufactured with that prstine long blonde hair falling into loose, soft curls.
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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
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Goth make-up can look amazing on some and shitty on others. Unfortunately for Momsen she is one of 'the others'. Give it up already, little girl. You weren't cut out to rock the hardcore look.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Tigera on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 4:16pm.
And that'll be her excuse until she squeezes out a few puppies of her own, raise a bunch of socially irresponsible douchebags and then she'll finally be held responsible for her behavior.
It's a one way ticket to Lohan-ville. All annoying or bad people are annoying or bad for one reason or another, so let's just keep enabling them because they've got an excuse.
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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
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Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 9:33pm.
....the hell? That's one potent batch of hallucinogenic mushrooms that guy managed to get his hands on.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Girlfriend please. You are on GOSSIP GIRL. You can't run...you can't hide...you're a girly girl and everyone knows it. neener neener neener!
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
And speaking of rainbows...OMG DOUBLE RAINBOWS!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZNjuGlVVeo&feature=related
WHAT DOES IT MEAN???
LMAO!!!!!
Pandas are vicious. They'll take your eye out.
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Reste
Sure you say that today but tomorrow it'll be all dildos and rainbows.
Another thing, Taylor looks a hell of a lot like a vampire. That means we're gonna be seeing her in one of those "Twilight" films. Head for ze hills!
Such a shame. This girl is actually talented. But then I realize that nearing the end of the first season of Gossip Girl, she started putting oodles of eyeliner on her face, cutting her hair to "looka like a man" (here's to you, Alex Borstein!), and now she's spewing quotes that have DListed having multiple orgasms (not that it's a bad thing, because here, they're not swayed by the Miley Cyrus and Paris Hiltons of the world).
I went through depression around 2006, which eventually led me to have marks in my throat, which were so damn painful. But you know what? I GOT THROUGH IT! But this girl has millions of dollars in her holster, and she's not happy?
If she's serious about this shit, then I guess I can deem her another manufactured child star that is beyond a phony. Just like motherfuckin' Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, and that Justin Bieber punk.
Snideychick sez:
To quote Johnny Rotten, "If you don't like being a popstar then just stop."
Got it Taylor?
Blah.
Trying to elicit pity already is kinda early for that, no?
She probably finally came down from a year long coke binge and read the internetz, cried and then concocted this half baked statement to get some sympathy.
though he mom does look like a bitch, so I guess this is half true.
I hate all this "Don't blame your parents" shit. That's what the fuck is wrong with the world, parents need to take responsibility for their mess. Children are like sponges. Some people may become productive adults coming from shitty homes but let's be real it's rare.
Ok, to clear some things up, this trick is a newly minted SEVENTEEN yr old, not 19. She went to private school and wasn't on the toddler ho stroll for years and graduated very early. She also has been an emancipated minor for a few years, so no one has held a gun to her head to do GG.
My psychology teacher said extreme make-up is a mask for mental illness. If missy is such a hot mess now, imagine 10 years from now.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Oh sod off, you little bint.
Slapping your lips together and riding on an "experimental" ego trip stirring shit and when it backfires, backpeddle by trying to ellicit sympathy from the media has been done before. You really can teach new dogs old tricks afterall. Yeah, parents who "model" their two year olds might be pretty fucked up, and I'm not saying that her life was ever normal at any point, but she takes advantage of her past to entitle herself to pull these little stunts that Lowdown Lohan, Christina Gag, and Jessi Slaughter would envy.
Blame it on stress and your past. Believe me, you'll get a free pass from responsibility until you queef out a litter of your own, but when your crotchfruits are then adolescent and blaming YOU for why they're such assholes, you're going to wish you had woken up a long time before that.
I guess everyone's just supposed to "understand" now. She doesn't care about Haiti but she expects people to feel sorry for her? LOL.
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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
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She might not be at the sharp end of the stick, but she deserves massive credit for never having "drippy eyes"
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Mange de la merde
i want to hug sad panda.
"But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
"Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby..."
-Ash
"I would do things that suck... for your love..."
-Butthead
Submitted by Vermithrax on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 2:02pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 1:20pm.
Oh cry me a fucking river bitch. You're 19, you hate your parents and you are trying to find your identity. Guess what, you're exactly like every other 18-22 year old, except you have an expendable checking account.
STFU.
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This.
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Huh? You agreeing?
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 1:20pm.
Oh cry me a fucking river bitch. You're 19, you hate your parents and you are trying to find your identity. Guess what, you're exactly like every other 18-22 year old, except you have an expendable checking account.
STFU.
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This.
Must be SO HARD being a rich teenager.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
So, she hates her showbiz life so much that she's doing what now that she's 19? Going to college?
Oh cry me a fucking river bitch. You're 19, you hate your parents and you are trying to find your identity. Guess what, you're exactly like every other 18-22 year old, except you have an expendable checking account.
STFU.
How about this: parents who really whore their kids out for drugs. How about another: no one would give a shit about this twit if it wasn't for her previous fame.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
wahhhhh wahhhh wahhhh I have never wanted to kick someone in the vagina bone as bad as I do right fucking now! Shes miserable cause she caught the herpe from her 32 year old bf!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Awww Sad Panda come over here!
I really wish people would stop trying to make this Taylor chick happen.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
What a self-absorbed spoiled little brat.
LOL@Sad Panda.
Cry me a river, ho. I'm sure no one said you HAD to start a rock band.
♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James
Is she Cameron Diaz' evil spawn cuz they look exactly alike.
I left home at 17 and never looked back and didn't have a dam penny in my pocket...and she's got all that money, what is she crying about again? oh yeah, THEN LEAVE.
I have 3 teenagers, seriously, wish there was a fast forward for these years.
Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 11:13am.
I feel there is a lot not being said. Her parents are probably assholes. It's not the modeling since the age of two part that really upsets her but how her family treated her.
But then again can we name one child star that turned out okay without having to go through rehab first?
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Eh, Jodie Foster, Natalie Portman (I'm not a fan, but she seems to have her life together), Shirley Temple (and her parents were said to be shitbag stage parents), Scarlett Johansson (see my Natalie Portman notes).
I think education is a definite key. Not sure about Scarlett, but all of the others went to college for a couple year break from all of the Hollywood stuff. Shirley was probably the biggest child star of all times, and she chose to walk away from Hollywood when she got older even though she became a very pretty young woman and could have traded on her name.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 11:13am.
But then again can we name one child star that turned out okay without having to go through rehab first?
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ron howard, but you're right. that is the rare exception. jury is still out on Dakota Fanning too.
John Mayer's next piece
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"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
Does she not realize how ridiculous she looks? I'm sure she will look back on these photos in ten years and wonder what she was thinking. She can look really good if she simply toned down the amount of black she has around her eyes and still get the "rocker" look across. Also, why is she talking about her childhood as if it's over? She's still a child.
soooo is this her rebeling?
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 11:13am.
But then again can we name one child star that turned out okay without having to go through rehab first?
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Macauley Culkin, and his parents were a mess.
While I do feel for child stars, homegirl needs to put on her big girl panties and have a nice, tall glass of STFU!
She's a self-centered, dillusional brat. She reminds me a bit of Taylor Swift due to the fact they both talk about "hardships" in magazines and tabloids while sitting on a big, nice pile of money.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Walk away then, Taylor.
She needs to STFU. Ain't nobody buying it.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
She seemed to be perfectly happy with the famewhoring game until about 6 months ago. And if she's been "working" since age 2, she probably could have filed for legal emancipation a few years ago, and got it.
Fuck you, Cindy Lou.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 11/12/2010 - 11:28am.
I'd like to whomp her upside the head with the Caboodle I had in 1995 filled with shitty Wet-N-Wild makeup. Total dollar value of cosmetics: $11.46.
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LOL! Love the Caboodles touch (had one too)
*adds Dippity-Do econ size hair gel and 80s sized banana clip to ISMU's whomp kit*
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
I'd like to whomp her upside the head with the Caboodle I had in 1995 filled with shitty Wet-N-Wild makeup. Total dollar value of cosmetics: $11.46.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Shut the fuck up you little brat, Ive had to fend for myself at the age of 13, my "mother" was so mentally ill and whacked out on drugs,left me and my brother on the streets. I didn't have a childhood. I still manage to not blame her, for my bad moods. and I didnt like where I was at I didnt sit there and blame my circumstances..when i was 17 I got my GED and busted my ass I managed to get my masters, So FUCK YOU.
I still dont blame my parents....
Moop woop moop
-Weensie Beans
Cry me a river - she chooses to be a cunty brat who doesn't give a shit about anyone, instead of actually saying fuck you to her parents and fuck you to the industry that's making her miserable by doing something else with her life.
Oh WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor little rich girl, I feel so sowwy for you.
STFU Cindy Lou.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
I feel there is a lot not being said. Her parents are probably assholes. It's not the modeling since the age of two part that really upsets her but how her family treated her.
But then again can we name one child star that turned out okay without having to go through rehab first?
As much as I agree that children are entitled to be children and hate stage parents who push their kids into stardom before they're even able to walk yet, Taylor is a) not two years old anymore, so pity doesn't apply and b) currently making a living off of reaping up the profits of her parents' past fuckery. If she wanted to have a normal life she would, I DON'T KNOW, go to school like a normal 16-year old and not parade around in underwear giving infuriating interviews.
I call bullshit on this. Miss Momsen must have learned something during her "difficult" years in show biz so she's trying a new tactic: pity. If she can't reach us through her lousy music and poseur antics, she'll try tugging heartstrings. Sorry Taylor, it's not working for you or anyone else.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Eh. Okay, maybe I have a little bit of empathy for her now. I was a moody teenager and I didn't even have the excuse of a lost childhood.