Canada Is Getting Their Own Jersey Shore, Of Course
CANADA! All you had to do was ask and we'd gladly export our own gang of permanently drunken whores for you to laugh at on TV, but nooooooo you had to go and cook up your own pot of lukewarm STD stew using homegrown and transplanted ingredients plucked from your gutters.
Instead of doing the right thing by devoting a reality show to the insane antics of Randy and Evi Quaid, Canada has decided to whip up their own Jersey Shore called Lake Shore. It's pretty much like Jersey Shore except with a lot more "Ehs" and when one of the whores is rushed to the emergency room because his anus wart exploded against a jacuzzi jet, he won't have to shout, "Shit, but I don't have insurance!" Here's the cast in the order they're introduced on that mess of a sizzle reel above:
Sible, "The Turk" - Most likely to get her exquisitely drawn brows smeared by the fist an angry bitch she hurls a racial slur at. Also most likely to get mistaken for Lauren Conrad at least twice.
Joey, "The Italian" - Most likely to think he's going to get the most ass in the house but will end up getting no ass in the house (see The Situation). Also dude looks like the third runner-up in a Danny Wood look-alike contest in Chernobyl.
Anni Mei, "The Vietnamese" - Most likely to carry the smallest bag when she moves into the house since all she wears are bras, panties and oversized belts. Also bitch will touch up her make-up before she goes to bed and wake up an hour before the cameras roll to touch that shit up again. She'll call the police when Sible dumps her make-up box into the hot tub during a fight.
Tommy Hollywood, "The Czech" - Most likely to get caught eating Salem's ass in the middle of the night and will say he thought he was licking on Sible's cooch. He'll blame it all on the sake bomb he downed before bed. Also he totally sprays Axe on his no-no.
Robyn, "The Jew" - Most likely to get kicked out of the house for pouring a hot pot of poutine down Sible's Juicy Couture sweat pants.
Salem, "The Lebanese" - Most likely to get into a huge fight with his main fruit fly in the house Robyn and then he'll get revenge by fucking her boyfriend in the diary room. Salem is all about theatrics, so he'll tell her to sniff his nalgas so she knows what betrayal smells like. SNAPS ALL AROUND.
Karolina, "The Pole" - Most likely to bone the entire cast and crew. ERR'BODY. She'll have a couple of pregnancy scares and her signature line "Did I suck your dick last night?" will end up on t-shirts, lunch boxes and thongs. In case you couldn't tell, she's my favorite.
Downtown D, "The Albanian" - Most to likely to cry on the phone to his mommy when a club refuses to let his ass in.
It's going to be all boozing, all dicking and all fighting. Rinse in a sink full of dirty dishes, wipe on your roommate's jizz rag and repeat! Welcome to the pieces of trash club, Canada!
via THR
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Okay, I will premise this by saying I am Canadian ( but not for long!) and this shit show is exactly why it is difficult to live there. Canada attracts the least assimilating ethnic groups ( Chinese, East Indian, Vietnamese, Eastern Europeans) and you constantly feel like you're in a Fellini movie. I never knew racism growing up in W. Hollywood, but a few years in Vancouver made me feel like an alien on another planet. That country is messed up in a whole new way!
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/entertainment/2002812478_dlisted20...
Note to the Yanks on here: these are "P.M.S" people--coming from the Toronto suburbs/adjacent cities of Pickering, Mississauga and Stoufville. It would be like a show promoting Manhattan "trendies" that featured only the weekend bridge n' tunnel crowd instead. This is also the trashy crowd that always gets into fights and pukes all over the club districts and cause the cops no end of trouble with their entitled douchiness.
As retarded and pathetic as this show will be, it still runs circles around Jersey Shore.
FAIL!
I'm officially embarrassed to be a Canadian. WTF is this! I mean we are so fucking lame sometimes it’s pathetic. We have some of the funniest comedians around, some extremely talented writers and THIS is what we do, come up with some cheap knockoff shitfest of a TV show? Seriously this pathetic!
Where the Inuits at??
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Submitted by I heart Natalie on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 8:27pm.
Canada doesn't seem to acknowledge Indians (First Nations) in the mainstream media (advertising and such)... we seem pretty open otherwise. It's a funny little situation.
Interesting, because I know there's a HUGE north indian population there ( and more recently sri lankans and south indians ) and many indians here (singapore) want to move there because it's an US proxy but less vulgar and violent.
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"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you." - Philip Larkin.
a big WTF here??? These assholes have succeeded to make every single other ethnic group look trashy and disgusting....and I adora Canadians...but not these scum bag wanna be's they all are striving to be so ghetto and street, they just come of looking desperate and stoooopid...what the hell is going on in the world were everybody is striving to be hood....even if there hood is a gated community...sick fucks!!
Submitted by wordygirl on Wed, 11/10/2010 - 8:44am.
I was replying to comments about how "annoying canadian accents are" that some americans on here made, and the comments about how "none of the people on the show are Canadian!"
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Yeah - I was just about to support that.
These people sound like Canadians - from the GTA.
I don't know which accents that other poster was talking aboot. Newfie, maybe? I dunno - I think we all have pretty cute accents. But they really are different everywhere.
And, btw, they all testify to NOT really being from Toronto: Whitby, Thornhill, Etobicoke...
♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James
so embarassing... if this show catches on I may have to go burn all my "Roots Canada" apparel...
These people aren't from Toronto. They are from the suburbs that come into muck up the city on Friday and Saturday nights. Like NYC's term "bridge and tunnel people", these terds are referred to as "905'ers".
These people aren't from Toronto. They are from the suburbs that come into muck up the city on Friday and Saturday nights. Like NYC's term "bridge and tunnel people", these terds are referred to as "905'ers".
I was replying to comments about how "annoying canadian accents are" that some americans on here made, and the comments about how "none of the people on the show are Canadian!"
You don't think that's a little presumptuous to say what Americans realize or think? In fact, Canada's only been somewhat diverse, in a few urban areas, during your short lifetime and a bit beyond. And you really have regional accents? Like every other country on earth? Stunning news
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"Spit shine my shank, lube up my face, remove all my joo-ree (leave the rings) and get ready to play Nivea's 'Don't Mess With My Man' (yes, I brought Nivea into this) on the boombox, because shit is about to get serious."--Michael K
To paraphrase Porfirio Diaz,
Poor Canada, so far from God and so close to the United States.
Because honestly, if not for the fucktards who created Jersey Shore - and please, could anyone but someone from the United States of Famewhorica have created that shit? - this Lake Shore cesspool of a show would never have existed.
Oh, and Dolly_D, if it were possible, I would happily trade my US Citizenship for your Canadian Citizenship. I lived in Van for 2 years and want to move back.
Best thing about "Jersey" show is that I read on online UK interview with Twit and Twat and they blame the franchise for sending them into bankruptcy, out of their Malibu home and into his parent's spare bedroom. They thought "Hills" had another 4-5 years, and now they have zero offers.
As a Dutch girl I'm ashamed to say that Holland has it's own version of Jersey Shore as well... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTEVfzaci9Y
Robyn will be the new Angelina *barfs*
Submitted by wordygirl on Wed, 11/10/2010 - 12:38am.
Americans don't realize that the Canadians found in Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver are extremely ethically diverse. These people ARE what Canadians look like.
Canadians can tell the difference between the various regional accents.
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You don't think that's a little presumptuous to say what Americans realize or think? In fact, Canada's only been somewhat diverse, in a few urban areas, during your short lifetime and a bit beyond. And you really have regional accents? Like every other country on earth? Stunning news.
So basically to be on this show you have to be a loudmouthed-no-class-no-brain-skunky-ho with an overinflated ego and no sense of realism? It feels like being trapped in a plane with Kaney. Count me out.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Oh, and thank CHRIST this show isn't set in Vancouver!
"Spit shine my shank, lube up my face, remove all my joo-ree (leave the rings) and get ready to play Nivea's 'Don't Mess With My Man' (yes, I brought Nivea into this) on the boombox, because shit is about to get serious."--Michael K
Submitted by kiv on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 11:38pm.
I don't believe people this stupid can exist...
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They exist and their numbers are growing.
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
The Jewish girl from Thornhill. That's classic Thornhill! It's basically the long island of Toronto.
"Spit shine my shank, lube up my face, remove all my joo-ree (leave the rings) and get ready to play Nivea's 'Don't Mess With My Man' (yes, I brought Nivea into this) on the boombox, because shit is about to get serious."--Michael K
Canada has been invaded - just like South Park.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/359087/no-i-wont-live-in-jersey
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
Americans don't realize that the Canadians found in Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver are extremely ethically diverse. These people ARE what Canadians look like. Indians and Chinese, which make up the largest part of our immigrant populations just aren't usually caught dead engaging in fuckery like this. True story.
Re: accents: Just like you guys can tell the difference between southern, midwestern, new yorker accents, Canadians can tell the difference between the various regional accents. It's regional.
"Spit shine my shank, lube up my face, remove all my joo-ree (leave the rings) and get ready to play Nivea's 'Don't Mess With My Man' (yes, I brought Nivea into this) on the boombox, because shit is about to get serious."--Michael K
I'm all for Karolina here too, I mean those boots out in public, that takes a lot of whore balls,
I don't believe people this stupid can exist... and if they do, they ought to be locked up, not given their own show.
Submitted by gaelaille on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 10:12pm.
God I hope this is available in America.
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^^ This, definitely.
Well, I have to give credit to the Mark Burnett/Endemol types. How many countries is Big Brother in? X Factor? American Idol? People get one original idea, and then you get 20 knockoffs. Heck, VH1 stayed alive with the Of Love shows which were a takeoff of the Bachelor.
God I hope this is available in America.
Submitted by stake_spike on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 7:36pm.
Submitted by Dolly_D on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 7:28pm
Canadians pronounce their o's and u's odd. I guess you'd have to be American to spot the difference.
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Nope, you don't...only certain parts of Canada pronounce o's and u's like that. I'm from the west and the difference is very noticable to me...I've gotta admit it sometimes makes me cringe a little, lol.
That being said, I hope this show dies a painful death. I hate reality tv with a passion and this trash is a total Canuckian embarrassment.
Snideychick sez:
Why do all the females in this cast act like crazy bitches? Every one of them said "people hate me." Uh, maybe that's a clue to get into psychotherapy.
this is embarrassing. i live in downtown toronto, what a terrible representation these people are. definitely the trashiest people you will find in this city
Ew, what a pathetic assortment of skanks, fake lesbians and ugly dudes with their shirts off trolling for their 15 minutes of fame.
Just to be clear, these losers are NOT from T.O. They are the douchebags and baguettes from outside the city who come downtown on the weekends in mommy and daddy's car thinking they are so fucking cool. NOT.
Epic fail all around on this mess.
Oh, and if they really wanted to "represent" T.O. where the fuck are the Jamaicans, Chinese and South Asians?!?! EH?!?!
Also Karolina reminds me of that chick from Rock of Love... you know the one.
Submitted by stake_spike on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 7:24pm.
Why are they all other nationalities? There's no way I could watch this show, Canadian accents are like nails on a chalkboard to me. I guess the only redeeming factor is that none of these people have Canadian accents (except the last dude) because they're not Canadian.
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As I understood it, they were all born or at least raised in Canada... that one dude moved to Canada when he was 2, which gave him enough time to pick up an accent. They just have different ethnic backgrounds.
Submitted by Anonymousfckr on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 8:34pm.
having nationalities replace nicknames makes this really offensive. personally i'm revolted by the turk sibel she seems like such a fake weirdo.
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At least your nationality is not being represented by that window licker Karolina.
** Downing tranquilizers before the next onslaught of dumb Polak jokes **
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Just a friendly reminder for chi-chi awareness month ;)
Submitted by stake_spike on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 7:24pm.
Why are they all other nationalities? There's no way I could watch this show, Canadian accents are like nails on a chalkboard to me. I guess the only redeeming factor is that none of these people have Canadian accents (except the last dude) because they're not Canadian.
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Because its Canadian! NOT American
Gay marriage, free healthcare, and now showing the world that skanks and douchebags come from all walks of life and all cultures.
GOD BLESS CANADA FOR BEING WAY MORE ADVANCED THAN AMERICA!!!
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Just a friendly reminder for chi-chi awareness month ;)
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 8:28pm.
Submitted by jd.xy on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 8:22pm.
PS: For the record I live on Lakeshore and there ain't no trash like this anywhere to be seen... these all look like drugged up suburban trash, they come downtown on weekends and we ignore them til they run back home to mommy and daddy
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That's EXACTLY how the true Jersey Shore natives feel about the beasts of the Jersey Shore cast.
so where are the "people of color" in garbage...too much dignity to embarrass themselves on camera?
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
Hmmm,this reminds me that my mom sent me a tourtiere recipe I've been meaning to try now that it's cold out.
Most of the Canadians I've met are quite awesome. I've met a few chav ones, but mostly they kick ass.
they are fabricating fake drama from get go. Jews and Turks do not have a history that'd warrant these bitches automatically hating each other, at all. this is bullshit.
I knew the movement of Reusing Trash for Profit was going to catch on! And now we are even teaching others. U-S-A! U-S-A!
I'd watch this but I don't feel like reading the English subtitles.
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All of the 'actors' mentioned are well-known homosexuals.
having nationalities replace nicknames makes this really offensive. personally i'm revolted by the turk sibel she seems like such a fake weirdo. I only now understand how italians felt when the guidos and guidettes first started pumping fists on tv. i beg of her not to represent we as a nation have a pr problem as it is.
Submitted by jd.xy on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 8:22pm.
PS: For the record I live on Lakeshore and there ain't no trash like this anywhere to be seen... these all look like drugged up suburban trash, they come downtown on weekends and we ignore them til they run back home to mommy and daddy
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Thank you. I have so many issues with this bullshit I didn't think I'd make it to that one.
♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James
The Jersey shore really has no boundaries...what's next Japan?
THESE are real Canadians. Yes - we are nerdy and we love it. We invented the fucking zipper!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWQf13B8epw
♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James
Submitted by vidz on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 8:12pm
This cast is actually good looking. And Angieho is totally going to call Jewslut a fat fat fattie in their first fight
Also, where are the frenchies and indians?
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Canada doesn't seem to acknowledge Indians (First Nations) in the mainstream media (advertising and such)... we seem pretty open otherwise. It's a funny little situation.
*edited*
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 7:20pm.
angel, you better hook a sister up!
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Hellz yeah! Cuz you know - these are probably just about the oogliest people in my city. I have good looking city yo!
ESE! *smooch!*
♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James