Panty Creamer Of The Day: Nick Lachey
Joey Fatone's knead and squeeze dough sacks aside, Nick Lachey had one of the best boy band racks in the 90s and it looks like his succulent pectorals still have the power to temporarily turn me into a tits kind of gay. Even though Nick looks like he only eats Tubby Tustard, I still would. Send your judgments here.
Jessica Simpson's former fart scent tester took a break from opening up his 98 Degrees royalty checks ("LOOK! They played 'True To Your Heart' in a soap opera in Croatia!" - Nick Lachey when looking at his check) to fly down to Mexico with his piece Vanessa Minnnilllolol. Okay, I never know how many Ls or Ns that girl has in her name (don't make me Google) so I figured it's better to give her more than less.
Nick and Vanessa are in Mexico to celebrate his 37th birfday, her 30th birfday and their new engagement. UsWeekly says that Nick sealed the deal with a $125,000 diamond ring. A $125,000 diamond ring that will fill Vanessa's nostrils with the aroma of one of Jessica Simpson's after eatin' burps whenever it sparkles since her money bought that shit!
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Dumb but pretty....... just how I like'em.
I don't understand why everyone is hating on them so much. They vacation 24/7, yeah...so? They're useless and idiots because they don't have to go to a 9-5 job and make the money to take vacations? Ridiculous. However they make their money they're obviously doing it well because they CAN vacation all the time rather than go on dlisted at their job and bitch about other people being on vacation.
My favs are the last two thumbnails where he's making the "baby-spitting-up-puree'd-beets" face. Mmmmmmmmm. Hawt!
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"Let's play leapfrog. You stick it in and see how far you can jump over my head."
Never mind those two, they are so bland they make me want to lick a spoonful of salt clean to add spice to my life...
The only Panty Creamer at the moment for me is Alex O'Loughlin, "Hawaii 5-0" style. The dude gives a whole new dimension to cargo pants and tight t-shirts. He is YUMMY!!! Michael K, please????
HA! You know Nick counts his blessing everyday for escaping Jessica and her crazy ass family. And since Jess is an admitted emotional eater I hope the new guy stocked up on Baskin Robbins, coco puffs and cheese whiz after seeing this news. Cause her ex putting a large engagement ring on a girl who starred in his break up video who all these years latter can still fit into a size 6 and wear a teeny bikini without having to cover up with a mu-mu is gonna make Jess burn rubber for the nearest all you can eat buffet. Look for Simpson at a Golden Corral near you!
HE ALWAYS HAS A CONSTIPATED FACE ....
i heard....they are doing one of those newly-wed shows wait was him and jessica in a newly=wed show god its been ages.....well anywho its what i heard...
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
I always liked NL. He seemed so solid. I think that entire Simpson clan from the coked out psycho younger sister, to the fat, stupid older one & Joe Simpson who probably masturbates to his reflection...are a bunch of Aholes who are inexplicably still in the public eye. I hope Nick is happy. He deserves it. I do just wish he'd have ended up w/some glamour queen from Ohio.
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"I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one
thing.
Through every dark night, theres a bright day after that.
So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep ya head up.... and handle it.”-- Tupac Shakur
Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Sun, 11/07/2010 - 10:30pm.
A while back, in a Jessica Simpson-related post, MK made a deeply disturbing reference to a possible hole that Papa Joe deliberately cuts in his front Dockers pockets for her performances. It's a haunting and likely possibility, me thinks, fyi.
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Oh myyyy gaaaahhhhd. What does that mean?
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Oh, and I can't believe Vanessa Manilahoohoo actually stuck around long enough to get a ring. That is serious staying power. What's it been, 10 years?!? Let's see if this engagement lasts another 10...I wouldn't be surprised. I don't think he was ever really that into her. The "damaged and heartbroken and afraid of love" shtick wore thin after a year or two.
I always wished he would find someone decent. This girl always seemed like an empty-headed party slut - a small step above a Hooters waitress or club bartender.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Nick must have invested his Newlyweds money particularly well if he and Vanessa can afford to spend their days just vacationing somewhere. At least Jessica supposedly runs some kind of shoe and perfume business but these two, what do they do?
I think its wrong to litter Dlisted with pictures of Nick LaDouche and that thing that sits like my cat. *chugs H8terade*
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I used to like Nick, but it has been years since he's done anything but sit next to a pool in Mexico (and, apparently, eat). Vanessa has always been a useless waste of space. So at this point, I kind of look at these two as useless lumps of ca ca. Pleasant enough ca ca, but ca ca nonetheless.
At least Jess is still out there busting her (gigantic) ass to fill Papa Joe's wallet.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Whatever, haters...Nick and Vanessa R 4 EVA. tru wuv right there.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Not going to last. Took too long - too many breakups along the way.
Yeah, Nick had way more money and fame when he married Jessica, but folks only tuned in to Newlyweds to see Jessica, the hot, dumb blonde who basically revived the Suzanne Sommers "Chrissy" role from 3s company. That's one of the reasons he resented her so much and spent most of the show rolling his eyes and giving her dirty looks; he actually had a modicum of success under his belt but only-talent-is-for-playing-dumb Jessica was the reason the show was a success.
And no, I'm not a Jessica fan. I think she's got terrible judgement and a rather low IQ but she did know how to attract a fans (at the cost of her self-respect and marriage) and she became the bigger star than he.
Oh, and I think he's got lousy judgment, too; this Vanessa seems slightly brighter than Jessica but a real b*tch, from all accounts. I wish he'd settle down with some sweet midwestern girl who can make him perogies and laugh at his jokes.
Vanessa is ALMOST there on her plan to get a pay-day to complete her male to female operation.
I still say she has an angry little peeny in that 'kini!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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you guys are on fire...lots of lols
who are these people? and how do they have money to go on vacay? and why do i care?
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
Lick Nachey is hot stuff, really, but honestly, is this couple PERPETUALLY on vacation? I swear to God everytime I see pictures of them they're lounging by a pool somewhere tropical. Must be nice to be pretty and jobless and still able to live the good life.
Muscles like that never did anything for me. I'd rather have a guy that looks like Gilligan, honestly!!
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I Love You More
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Nicky makes my boy pussy wet. I would love it if he made a creampie in me. Come on over Nicky, for those 6 or 7 days when Vanessa is on the rag and can't take your fine as wine manhood. I'm here, baby!
I had a dream last night in which news reports were saying Danny DeVito had died. :(
I don't put much stock in dreams, but yeah, I checked, and everything seems ok.
Yay! We get to pretend we didnt call the paps and we don't want to be photographed!!
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
How come Taylor keeps wearing the same black bra on the red carpet? Don't believe me? Check out pics from last Thursday and Saturday night at www.RobbyNovasPopWorld.com!
I'm RobbyNova, author of www.RobbyNovasPopWorld.com
Yawn.
Dude does nothing for me, but both he & his brother seem like rather likable guys.
On "Newlyweds" Lachey always struck me as a decent guy, grounded with a good value system. I remember that one episode where Simpson had bought those expensive satin sheets and he got mad at her for spending so much money on something as trivial as that. That opened up my Dutch Calvinistic heart to him. She could have done much worse, and she has since.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Anyone remember the big "scandal" with Vanessa Millinwhatever her name is when she and Lindsay were doing sexy coke faces posing with knives? I mean us D-Listers knew Lindsay was messed up but I remember US Weekly posting things like "LINDSAY'S SHOCKING SECRETS"...I think that was right before her first DUI a few years ago.
OT:
Does anyone else think NeNe's son on Atlanta Housewives has Fetal Alcohol or something ? He reminds me of Forrest Gump a little.
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
"Submitted by sushi on Sun, 11/07/2010 - 9:56pm.
Stupid or just bad taste? I could give her a pass on Mayer. I barely knew who the fuck he was and initially he seemed kind of funny to me. I am sure smarter and dumber have been fooled alike by him."
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Well after sexual napalm I don't think Mayer will be getting a pass from anyone.
I seriously googled Jessica Simpson dumb quotes, and I just can't with this bimbo. I'm convinced she is that stupid. And if it is all an act then she's still stupid for listening to whoever is that's telling her it's a good idea.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
She does not have a nice ass.
I read about the comment Jessica made when her and her kept man were eating at the same restaurant as Nick and Vanessa 'I hope Vanessa likes her clothes because I bought them for her, since Nick took all my money.'
She was a huge fail before they were married. Nick was the more famous one. I am sure that he entered the marriage with more money, and any money that she earned during that time was due to their joint success from that show.
Jessica's ego got sooooo big. I really liked her when that show started and by time it ended, Icouldn't stand her. He wasn't excatly a prize either, but he was decent and put up with a lot more then most men would. As Jessica has been finding out since their marriage ended.
these two are perfect for each other. They are both irrelevant these days and can therefore fade into obscurity which means their marriage may stand a chance.
I'm lol'ing at that second to last thumbnail, at the look Nick is giving her whoo-ha
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"The show will be a mix of serious news stories and pop culture shit. It will also feature a daily cameo by a crazed and foaming at the mouth gay who will storm the set in a bridal tuxedo" MK
He's obviously the Chick-of-the-Sea tuna inspector.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
I realize that saying who the fuck cares about these two has-beens is relative, because in the grand scheme of things, are they really has-beens?
They have plenty of money, they just do nothing relevant.
Whereas, many people who work hard and want to continue doing something relevant cannot, because there are limitations as to the number of jobs, so they're on the unemployment line and eating ramen noodles.
Which makes me think these two are even more irrelevant.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
Jesus Christ, these two idiots are SO BORING
Who?
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
A while back, in a Jessica Simpson-related post, MK made a deeply disturbing reference to a possible hole that Papa Joe deliberately cuts in his front Dockers pockets for her performances. It's a haunting and likely possibility, me thinks, fyi.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Sun, 11/07/2010 - 8:07pm.
I can't decide if this vanessa is a tucker or just has a huge bush (thumbnail 10)
ETA @Sushi - yes, I do believe she really is that stupid. She was reamed by the jackass cast and john mayer. Case dismissed.
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Stupid or just bad taste? I could give her a pass on Mayer. I barely knew who the fuck he was and initially he seemed kind of funny to me. I am sure smarter and dumber have been fooled alike by him.
They have to hire these photographers themselves. If I was at airport gate #37 and word spread that Nick Lachey and Vanessa Whats-her-face were sitting at gate #36 I doubt me or 95 percent of people would get up to see.
File these two under BORING ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.......
Just wanted to say...what the hell kind of GD rehab is this...
http://www.hollyscoop.com/lindsay-lohan/lindsay-leaves-rehab-for-movie-n...
Oh yeah...Nick is a bush pilot!
meh... these two could have a boredown at high noon in the middle of the boring town of borington and fling boring at each other all damn boring day, and the boring winner would still be the reigning champion of boring... yet, still people would say that they both have talent in some fuckin' way... i'm not sure if the amazement outweighs the boredom i feel for both of them, or i need to start eating mushrooms to figure out why they're even still considered "celebrity"
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by sushi on Sun, 11/07/2010 - 8:04pm.
Hell yeh she is really that dumb, how else can you explain her choice in paid douches, awful music/movies, fashion decisions etc. And how else can you explain that she never learns from her humiliations, she's still out there acting like ignorance is cute and ringing up the tabloids to announce every fart that comes out her wobbly pancake ass.
Submitted by pd92654 on Sun, 11/07/2010 - 7:29pm.
I love it when people who do nothing, take a vacation.
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Haha! So true, dude. What's the reason why they take vacations when they don't even have a fucking job? Okay, if they were like 70 years old retirees road tripping and shit, that's different, but...
Good luck to them. I don't dislike, nor love them. They're just there.
Well, I kinda don't like the girl, coz she looks skanky and dumb, but whatever.
The dude? Not offensive enough to hate. So hopefully they're doing the right thing by getting married, or whatever.
Joe Simpson is a real dick. I hope Nick finds happiness after putting up with all the bullshit from that family. From what I have seen of Nick and his brother Drew they seem like decent guys.
I met Nick up in Cincinnati. He's a genuinely nice guy.
Everyone forgets he was the main income until just after she started gaining fame with her non-singin'-ass, but just before her accessories line took off.
On the one part of the one episode of Newlyweds I could stomach, Jessica and her then number-one-hanger-on, Casey-with-2-e's (who was also living off of HIS income, rent-free at the time by being HER "assistant") were going to get them all something to eat:
Nick: And get blah, blah, blah...
Jessica: OK
Nick: Blah, blah, blah
Jessica: OK
Casey (to Nick): And what are you going to be doing?
Nick (with hate in his eyes): Paying for this house.
In other words, he probably can afford a $125k ring and frequent flier/customer points to Mexico, but not much else, so they'll pass off a cheap-ass wedding as a "small, intimate gathering with only their closest family and friends..."
Submitted by tonicbitch on Sun, 11/07/2010 - 8:07pm.
I can't decide if this vanessa is a tucker or just has a huge bush (thumbnail 10)
I'm thinkin' bush because I think there was some naked pics of her which showed her hairy hoohaa!
Doesn't have 125K? - yeah right. He just has a 6.8 million$ house in Bel Air.
I can't decide if this vanessa is a tucker or just has a huge bush (thumbnail 10)
ETA @Sushi - yes, I do believe she really is that stupid. She was reamed by the jackass cast and john mayer. Case dismissed.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"