The Recession Is Real: Joan Collins Shops At Target
Above is Joan Collins wearing a puffy shouldered jacket (puffed up with the hot air of jealousy her arch rivals blow out when she stomps by looking devastatingly gorgeous) on November 3rd in Beverly Hills, July 27th in St. Tropez and June 17th at Ascot. The same jacket, THREE TIMES! That's some ammunition Krystle Carrington is going to shove into the bullet chamber of her silver lady pistol.
Joan Collins is barred by SAG from playing non-wealthy characters because it's just TOO unbelievable, but even she has felt the economy pinch her where it's not right.
The grand dame of luxurious luxury even admitted that never wears her finest jewels during the daytime. Joan sticks with fraudulent gems she buys at TARGET! Joan cooed this out to The View wannabes on The Talk the other day:
"I like to wear things that aren't real during the day. I don't believe in going round with lots of jewelery because you never know someone could come and grab it. A friend of ours in England, one of the richest men in England I read in the papers today, John Caudwell, was just tied up and robbed because, you know, his wife goes around dripping with jewels. You can't do that."Julie Chen's ass shouted at her, "Yes, shop at Target."
Back to Joan, "Target, yes exactly. I was there yesterday! Although you would never have recognized me."
And the ambassador of glamour also said that a Botox needle has never made wet love to her forehead before:
"I hate needles and don't like the idea of putting poison into my face and I've seen too many women who have had plastic surgery and facelifts and they look horrible."
No comment about that, but back to the Target thing. Imagining Joan glide past the lubricant aisle while holding a red basket like it's a Birkin bag is almost better than the time my cousin asked an employee at Target if she could take an unopened box of Tampax into the bathroom because she really really really needed one at the time. Bitch promised to pay for it afterward. Dude had to go ask his manager, but he never came back. You know he ripped off that red shirt and shouted "I QUIT THIS EVERYTHING" as he walked to his car.
via Daily Mail
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I think it is okay that she, like regular people, wears her outfits for more than one event. But the outfit itself...? Oh my! She must be going senile because she is still dressing like it is the 1980's!
She likes "to wear things that aren't real during the day," like the wigs she makes from clumps of pubes in the shower drain at the YMCA. STFU, Joan.....
Years ago her young daughter was hit by a car and nearly killed... I have always felt so kindly towards her for going through that and willing her daughter to live against all odds. She has never been a fashion icon though.
My daughter and I walked into a Tar-jay a few weeks ago and looked at each other and walked right back out... the static cling environment, lighting, cheap plastic shoes... we just couldn't. I am not a snob, but I need organic cotton somewhere in reach.
We don't have Tarjays in VT, zoning laws are redick. We have to take the Ferry to exotic Plattsburgh, NY to go to Tarjay. The kid and I make a day of it and powershop ourselves silly.
*chanting as always*
I love Joan even thought she was basically the barrel basement bargain Liz Taylor of her day.
So she shops at Target.
Who doesn't?!
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Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:30pm.
Non-appreciator of Joan Collins here.
*invites others to table, puts out cupcakes*
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Yeah, I'll have a seat - even without the cupcakes. :D
Never liked her much and that jacket is fugly.
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
I've got to say that Joan is holding up better than most of her peers and I like that she is wearing the same jacket three times in public. Obviously she likes the jacked-up, puffy sleeve look although I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit and I hope that I am never that old, YET!
Submitted by LisaRose on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 1:15pm.
I just got back from Target 2 mins ago buying half off Halloween crap!! Loved every minute of it!! :)
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were any married men there?
heehee j/k
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And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out, what's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
- 4 Non Blondes "What's Going On"
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:00pm.
Yeah, I know. She can go away now. I used to not mind her that much, until her latest cunt-y pontifications.If someone else would say something similar, everyone would be bitching.
But I do agree with Stake Spike. It's really annoying when people make fun of others because of where they shop. It just sounds classist and snobby. People want to buy items cheap, especially when they're on a budget. So what?
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"the bonus round being... a landmine field... and Ted Nugent has to be screaming 'Wango Tango!' in their ear over and over... as he joins them through the field"
-EveryStrangersEyes
NOOOooo Joan NO!!
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Joan Collins is real people. I loves her.
This bitch was the poor man's Elizabeth Taylor in her day. She should stop name dropping rich friends and shut the fuck up.
I just got back from Target 2 mins ago buying half off Halloween crap!! Loved every minute of it!! :)
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I Love You More
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:00pm.
Why is this uppity bitch around all of a sudden?
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I KNOW !!!
I was wondering the same thing! What - she saw Betty White everywhere and decided to try the same thing? I'm sick of Betty White now (bless her) and I'm sick of this cow spouting her shit everywhere all of a sudden. Looking to make a comeback or something....
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:20pm.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:14pm
Do they have Walmarts in LA? I don't ever remember seeing one.
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On Crenshaw IIRC. Live in Riverside County/"Inland Empire" ***eyeroll*** now where Super Walmarts abound and ALL of them are always PeopleofWalmart.com, The Live Experience.
I believe it. Without the wig or giant shoulder pads, and 50 pounds of make up, she probably looks totally different.
A friend of a friend of a friend used to work at Dollywood. She said Dolly would put on street clothes, wear her natural hair, hardly any make up and wander around the park seeing how people were enjoying themselves. She said sometimes people would give Dolly a side eye, like, "Is that...?" But it seems so bizarre that no one ever recognized her or made a fuss.
We probably wouldn't recognize a lot of female celebs without the make up, hair and photoshopping.
Like Target, don't like the dimwits who actually correct you and really believe it's called Tarjay. Look at the logo you dumb cunts.
Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:20pm.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:14pm
Do they have Walmarts in LA? I don't ever remember seeing one.
Not in the city of LA.. nope. LA county yes.
Non-appreciator of Joan Collins here.
*invites others to table, puts out cupcakes*
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Oh and MK I hate to break it to you but Joan Collins has been praising Target for years. I remember a while back when the DM got a hold of pics of her walking around the store buying some kids toys, they ripped her a new one for shopping at "budget store Target".
Submitted by Starqz on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:04pm
I think that's how Walmart keeps their prices down, they don't put no frills. It's like shopping at Costco or some other warehouse looking store.
@Spicey
Oh that sounds fab! I could do with out the Jack part though...I did happen to watch the ep where Cher slaps a trick in the restaurant LMAO epic!
"If I could back Taaooom!"
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The botox must have creeped into her brain. There is now way in HELL that she hasn't had major work done on herself.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:14pm
Do they have Walmarts in LA? I don't ever remember seeing one.
meh.. I don't care for the clothes at Target but all other shit, yes
As long as she's not shopping at Walmart, there's still hope IN THIS ECONOMY.
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 11:53am.
@Spicey
Oh how I miss Karen Walker and her many a nemesis'
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I read somewhere that they were in talks for a Karen & Jack show...(the years living with Jack I guess). I hope it is true. Karen was pretty much the only thing I liked about Will & Grace.
"It's pathetic how far a gal has to go for a good fuck" - Samantha Jones
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We wouldn't have recognized you because yo' wig was off!
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MK, I love you like a fat kid loves cake - MissJaneTexas
And the cashiers are painfully ugly and slow. There was one guy in that Target who had one fucking leg, ONE FUCKING LEG, and he didn't slide shit across the scanner with a chip on his shoulder, he rang you up faster than you got fucking AIDS, believe it. Cunt.
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What the- *dies*
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Why is it that all of the uppity rich people insist on shopping at Target for? Probably because they don't want to mingle with the common folk down at Wal-Mart or the barely still standing K-Mart of all places. Plus Target is a lot cleaner and crisp looking than Wal-Mart is. Just noticing..
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 11:49am.
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No shit, that happened to me this past Wednesday. I had one small item and picked up another just to have something else in my bag. The lines were deep as hell with families and the two short lines closed just as I got to them, naturally. I dropped my stuff and left.
And why wouldn't Joan Collins shop at Target? She's just like us, I seent the bitch eating tacos like a pig on Will and Grace. I seent it.
I give major props to Target, they are starting to come up in this world, now Lanvin? That I didnt hear of Mina, but wonderful nonetheless, and if you are thin and fit into everything, you can come out of there looking like you just shopped at BARNEYS!
Why is this uppity bitch around all of a sudden?
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
There's a Target practically in my backyard. I fucking love it and could spend all day there.
There and BJ's Wholesale Club.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
@Spicey
Oh how I miss Karen Walker and her many a nemesis'
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I like Target too. A lot of their foods are cheaper than the grocery stories (brand names) and I just got a fab skirt from "last season" (eg, August) for $4.66 - with some funky boots and tights, it's the shizz.
Their sales racks are great and their kids clothes are a good price too - kids sales racks even better.
We can't all shop at Bloomies. *sniff*
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Dark-sided!
without wig, sans fards, in some comfy mom jeans and an "i'm with stupid" t-shirt? who would check her, boo?
i would notice her, famous or not, because she has light in her eyes. you know? she is so not dead yet.
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go bear.
FOR THE UNBELIEVABLE PRICE OF 90 CENTS A BOX!!!
hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaahahahahahaha!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
I fucking love Tartget.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
I pictured MK's cousing pulling a Jenny McCarthy all over Target:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIH7DcxKuA0
And LMAO at Joan not being recognizable at Target...if she doesn't wear make up, wig and her dentures I bet she could pass for any other grandma in the check out line. Reminds me of that character she played on Will&Grace who liked to eat tacos at cheap dives on the down low. LOL
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"It's pathetic how far a gal has to go for a good fuck" - Samantha Jones
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
motherfuckign Target
there's one right by my apt. building which is great since everything there is so cheap but holy shit, it is THE PREMIERE no-one-gives-a-fuck Target in the tri-state area. The express lanes are ALWAYS closed so, oh what's that? You only came for a cheap 5 pack of razor blades? Or because the Kraft Spirals and Cheese is on sale for the UNREAL price of 90 CENTS A BOX? Well, now you can wait 15 long, baby-crying-filled minutes to ring that shit up.
And the cashiers are painfully ugly and slow. There was one guy in that Target who had one fucking leg, ONE FUCKING LEG, and he didn't slide shit across the scanner with a chip on his shoulder, he rang you up faster than you got fucking AIDS, believe it. Cunt.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 11:45am
Thats it! Tarjay haha.
LOL @ mina
MK needs to conclude his stories!
I LOVE Tarjay!!! but have been limiting my time there cause of mah main gays boycotting it. Shit I think I have to make a stealth trip there after work...
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Target here in Aus is actually getting better as the years go on. I find some nice clubbing clothes there and all the girls buy their heels from there because they are cheap but look designer. I can't hate Target. Although everyone here in Aus pronounces it all french like to make it sound classy.
I'm so tired of the Daily Mail ripping on Target. Of course this shit came from them. First everyone knows it's Tarjay and second Target is the shit. I swear I'm addicted to that store (the Super Target). They have the best food and rarely do I ever shop there and not spend $100 each time. Plus they recently started staying open till 11 and my ass likes to go when everyones asleep (that's why I love 24hrs Walmarts).
Target is a lot more expensive than Walmart (despite Walmart always having the same item for half a buck less), I don't know why the Brit press is always giving it shit considering they don't even have fucking Targets so they have no idea what they're talking about.
/rant
MK Your cousins sound awesome.
(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)
What's funner than fun? FUNDIO!!!!!
My favorite jacket at the moment is my Jean Paul Gautier denim number from...."TARGET!" Ilove Target...a line from Lanvin is coming out soon....
So what did your cousin end up doing? Bundle up a whole heap of toilet paper? lol