The Hollywood Whackers Must Be Stopped, So Says Randy & Evi
The quacked out Quaids should really be speaking to a highly-skilled team of mental health professionals carrying trays filled with assorted meds, but for some reason their lawyers let them speak to ABC News instead. Randy and Evi Quaid once again put an aluminum foil cap on our heads by telling us how they believe there's a vicious conspiracy against Hollywood actors!!! Hide yo Brit Brits! Hide yo Mel Gibsons! Hide yo Lindsay Lohans, because Cousin Eddie thinks they are all in danger, girl.
Speaking from their hiding place in Canada, Randy and Evi said there's a mafia out there who is destroying and murdering the innocent virgin angels of Hollywood one by one. They don't think Heath Ledger died of an overdose. They believe he was murdered for ad dollars (blame Don Draper)! DUN DUN DUN! They also believe that Mad Mel Gibson isn't an anti-Semitic, racist leather duffel bag of Hitler shit. They think that Mad Mel was drugged by the Hollywood whackers.
Um. Randy and Evi need to adjust the wire hangers they stick in their ears to spy on the Hollywood mafia, because I'm pretty sure something got lost in transmission. Mad Mel wasn't drugged with Jew-hating pills, he's just a natural born cunt!
Here's a few pieces from Randy and Evi's interview. They really continue to out CRAZY themselves.
Randy on people saying they are crackheads and/or schizophrenics: "No. To have my integrity and my reputation so denigrated so mercilessly - why? Why would somebody want to do this to me?"
Randy on how they know the Hollywood mafia is out to GIT 'EM: "They follow us, they tail us. They tag our cell phone, they hack our computer."
Evi on who is trying to kill them: "...An estate planner who would make a living trust and a county that could cash Randy's royalty stream forever. I feel like Uma Thurman buried in a coffin. I genuinely feel these people are trying to kill us."
Randy on his brother Dennis: "It's been a little tense the past few years, but I love my brother very much. We're worried about him. He's being victimized by the same people."
Evi on her brother-in-law Dennis: "Dennis is now on a treadmill of making movies that are garbage and it's unfortunate because he's talented,"
Evi on Mad Mel: "I think he was drugged. I think he was slipped a Mickey."
And now for the video!!! You know, I'm kind of surprised they didn't insist that the interview be filmed on their own mini-disc camcorder in case the Hollywood whackers hid a gun in ABC's cameras.
All joking aside, Randy and Evi might have a point. Exhibit A: These pictures of Dennis Quaid in costume as Pauly D from Jersey Shore. This is obviously the work of the dark-sided Hollywood branch of the Illuminati. If this is the case, then I say good work Illuminati, because DAMN at Dennis' body. Bitch has abs that could almost scrub the crazy out of Randy and Evi. Almost.