Prince Von Anhalt Silenced By A Bee
It is not the year for Zsa Zsa Gabor and her husband Prince Von Anhalt. While Zsa Zsa rested on her pink satin princess bed under the crystal chandelier that only sparkles for her, P-Vo was sunning his schnitzel by the pool. But his moment of relaxation was cut short by the rudest and whoriest bee in Beverly Hills. TMZ says that a bee flew into his mouth and did ass-to-froat with him without asking. The bee stung him right in the goddamn throat!
Before Prince Von knew it, he was turning blue and his throat started to swell up. He was shuffled off to the emergency room and admitted into the hospital. Apparently, he's been there since Wednesday.
Bees always remind me of my abuelita who really is their greatest arch rival. When I was little, she would spend hours in the backyard trying to catch bees with her bare hands. Imagine if you were a bee and got caught by an old lady hand? Embarrassing! So when she'd get her hand on a bee, she'd sting herself in the leg with it. It soothed her arthritis or some shit. I don't know. It was probably the secret to how she found the strength to wield a mighty chankla around. That's it.
And at least Prince Von Anhalt can tell people he now knows what it feels like to give Gerard Slutler a beej without lining his froat with a female condom first.