Absolute Blasphemy!!!!!!

Out of all the people Elisabeth Hasselcrack could viciously violate by dressing up as for Hallowpeen, she just had to after one of the most influential icons of my childhood: Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan! Where the hell is a vengeful Krystle Carrington and a fountain full of crocodiles or Moldavian terrorists when you really need them?

Whoever came up with this mess of idea wouldn't know Alexis Carrington if she sashayed up to them, tore out one of her shoulder pads with her bare nails and used it to slap them three times in the mouth. Joan Collins is so glamorous that she wears high heels and diamonds when she pees pees, and Elisabeth Hasselcrack is about as glamorous as yogurt. (Disclaimer: I don't know for a fact that Joan Collins actually urinates. This has never been documented as fact. It should still be considered an urban legend for now.)

Bitch looks more like a little boy country mouse dressed in Dollar Tree drag as Bernice from Designing Women. And the stick firmly shoved up Hasselcrack's asshole made it impossible for her to do the "stealing your men, and taking over your companies" strut. HOW DREADFUL. See for yourself in the clip below:

But I can't stay mad at The View. They did give us a deranged Barbara Walters as Rita Hayworth. Yup, Rita Hayworth. More like Jessica Rabbit's memaw who eats bunny rabbits alive!

And no comment about Sherri "The German" Shepherd as Grace Jones.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Sun, 10/31/2010 - 10:44pm.

(Wait, IS she on The View?)

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Sun, 10/31/2010 - 10:43pm.

I think Meredith Viagra looks cute in her costume.

I used to like her on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?". She needs to get off The View because she's too likeable for it.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.

Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Sun, 10/31/2010 - 10:40pm.

They need to quit passing around the crack pipe during "idea time" at The View...

Submitted by ss794 on Sun, 10/31/2010 - 7:20pm.

Joy Behar should have dressed up as an old, shrill, bitter, shrew but wait, she doesn't need a costume for that.

Submitted by CholaMom on Sat, 10/30/2010 - 12:45pm.

Barbara as Rita Hayworth is sooper dooper scary. OMG

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Submitted by Whatever on Sat, 10/30/2010 - 5:19am.

Why is this hasselcrack person even on TV? She is loud and stupid and cries like a little bitch when people don't agree with her stupid points of view. Now this crap?

Submitted by from athens on Sat, 10/30/2010 - 2:17am.

Blasphemy is an understatement.And what the fuck is going on with television in america and europe these days?The messes keep on coming.Speaking of messes,i will never forget the dynasty episode where
Fallon was abducted by aliens,this shit took me to some uncharted places in my mind!Thank you Dynasty!

Submitted by azgirl on Sat, 10/30/2010 - 1:17am.

I thought Whoopi was a lot bigger than what she is. She actually has nice legs! Why is she wearing her tents?

Submitted by gucci on Sat, 10/30/2010 - 12:38am.

joan collins needs to find this bitch and give her a good old fashioned dynasty style ass kicking!

__________________

"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."

Lena Horne

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 11:16pm.

I don't like either of them, so whatever.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 10:47pm.

Once I've seen people in their Halloween costume I can never look at them the same way again. I guess it's my Calvinistic streak.

----------------------------------------------------------
Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by Vern on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 9:26pm.

I know I'm tardy and uninvited to the party, but Mike I hope you go for it and i hope its wonderful!

*chanting as always*

Submitted by smokeybaconflavour on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 9:04pm.

Sherri didn't look as bad as I thought she would and Whoppie looked less disturbing wearing a skirt then I thought she sould too

Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 8:25pm.

No way a fucking pumpkin with legs can be Grace Jones.

Submitted by TequilaTax on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 8:17pm.

Isn't the only reason why we have to deal with Hasselbeck is because she was on Surviver?

-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman

I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 8:10pm.

How fucking dare she!!!!!! That walk is straight blasphemy. I hope Joan whoops her $4 walmart packaged wig-wearin ass.

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP3Q1nOzgR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

Submitted by Echo27 on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 7:25pm.

Whoopi's legs look surprisingly good! She always hides under her tent-like clothes so no one really knows what she has going on.

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:47pm.

kKiL hAssSlbEcK forThiS

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:09pm.

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:16pm.
@ Pearl, check this out.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/10/29/brandi-glanville-eddie-cibrian-dui-ex-wife...
----------------
oh WOW...maybe 'Gretchen' will come up in here again, gots some 'splainin' to do ha! Srsly tho, beginning to wonder now, she could really be Brandi o_0

Submitted by QueenieBK on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:04pm.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:36pm.
I'm in the weirdest mood ever. I'm drunk, I talked to the one girl I came closest to loving (almost 15 yrs ago) and she's in town. I'm deliriously happy. I know I don't really know but a few of you, but I really like you guys. You often make my day.
================
Aww this gave me butterflies. Are you going to see her?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:02pm.

Submitted by Callie on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 7:25pm.
Submitted by salacious on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:16pm.
@ Pearl, check this out.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/10/29/brandi-glanville-eddie-cibrian-dui-ex-wife...

________________________________

Someone is calling Leanne "Falcor" in the comments. Are Dlisted and TMZ cross-pollinating?
------------------------
ahaha!! I know a lot of peeps link to TMZ from here, so maybe.

Submitted by Callie on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:55pm.

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:16pm.
@ Pearl, check this out.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/10/29/brandi-glanville-eddie-cibrian-dui-ex-wife...

________________________________

Someone is calling Leanne "Falcor" in the comments. Are Dlisted and TMZ cross-pollinating?

Submitted by QueenieBK on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:54pm.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:03pm.

I just wear a Harvard t-shirt - because just about every Duke student WISHES he/she could have gotten in at Harvard.
============
LOL reminds me of a t-shirt for sale in the bookstore my freshman year of college:

"Muhlenberg. Because we all couldn't get into Moravian."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by LettucePrey on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:48pm.

Mike...remember that flick with Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid? Me neither. But she does don a Halloween deal by wearing a slip with a sign taped to it:

Freudian

C'mon....it works!

Submitted by onthefringe on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:26pm.

Submitted by toni on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:47pm.

Why is she dressed as Patti Labelle, hair and all, and calling it Grace? A midget cant ever be graceful anyway.

------------------------

Yup. When I heard Grace Jones, I was like "wha"???!!!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g

Submitted by I need more cowbell on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:14pm.

please, Elton John looks more like Joan Collins than E.H. ever will. That bitch is delusional.

I am more woman that you'll ever have and more man than you will ever be.

Submitted by WinnieT on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:50pm.

Absolutely frightening.

All the people you're trying to personify? You bitches wish.

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:46pm.

@ Pearl, check this out.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/10/29/brandi-glanville-eddie-cibrian-dui-ex-wife...

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:30pm.

hmmmm maybe she was Brandi, because the time Sienna was fucking around with Balthazzz Getty is roughly the time ex Mrs. Cibrian was probs getting wind of Eddie humping Falcor!

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:35pm.

ugh, excuse my ISP's beauty again!

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:29pm.

Hasslebeck wishes she was as classy as Alexis. In your wildest dreams...
--------------------------------------
"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:26pm.

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:52pm.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:47pm.

----

Hey Pearl! Switching subjects, did you see that after Gretchen disappeared, Brandi (Falcor's nemesis and Eddie Cibrian's wife) got a DUI. Chocopuffs and I suspect it was her all along!!! LOL -we probably pushed her over the edge.
-------
O.M.G! no WAY HAHA!! Well if she is, she's also got a major hate boner for Sienna Miller -- in the middle of her thesis statement detailing LeAnn Rimes' 24/7 tweets, I remembered she also dropped a couple of theses on the Sienna posts back she was riding that douche Getty, DAYUM.

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:22pm.

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:47pm.

----

----
"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"

Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:21pm.

@Pearl Necklace:
Thank you.

@Mike:
We like you, too. Whatever you decide to wear, have a good time at the party.

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:17pm.

awwwww that's sweet, LOVE happy drunks <3

*** whacks Mike with police-issue flashlight, throws him in huuusband-stealin' gunny sack **** not married but will do for now ^_^

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:19pm.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:36pm.

I'm in the weirdest mood ever. I'm drunk, I talked to the one girl I came closest to loving (almost 15 yrs ago) and she's in town. I'm deliriously happy. I know I don't really know but a few of you, but I really like you guys. You often make my day.
----

Mikey, you've never opened up like this before. That's awesome because as I told you before, you're one of the few sane people in here. You know we like you too, and you always have something interesting to say and post interesting links too. You're great. Hopefully we'll meet in person one day.

----
"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"

Submitted by toni on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:17pm.

Why is she dressed as Patti Labelle, hair and all, and calling it Grace? A midget cant ever be graceful anyway.

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:13pm.

LOL @jim, mofo!

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:10pm.

Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:30pm.
@Pearl Necklace:
Excellent idea. Work it, Miss Thing.
-----------------
Oh sugar, will do ;*

ETA:
@Mike:
Wear a Duke shirt and say you're a jc student.

EDIT: Or wear a Duke shirt, a Nixon mask, and carry a law textbook.
----------------
EXCELLENT cheap but outstanding idea!

Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:06pm.

Joan Collins looks smoking hot in that photo.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:06pm.

Submitted by jim on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:05pm.

GET A PIG COSTUME..AND SAY YOU ARE SHERRI SHEPARD?

Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:02pm.

@Pearl Necklace:
Excellent idea. Work it, Miss Thing.

@Mike:
Wear a Duke shirt and say you're a jc student.

EDIT: Or wear a Duke shirt, a Nixon mask, and carry a law textbook.

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 3:51pm.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:48pm.

Meh. I need y'all to help me think of a costume by tomorrow night. Something simple and quick. I've been warned I can't do my usual costume (a Duke student).

------------------

Shooting the breeze last night with Gretchen the husband-stealin' whacker and one of TigerLilly's insightful posts on that thread got me thinking that I should find a dark-haired male mannequin, throw him in a sack, and tart it up in cat burglar suit, flashlight and all, and bam! I'm a Husband Stealin' Homewrecka ;D

For you, a male variation would be Captain Save-A-Ho. Let your imagination run wild with that :)

Oh & Salacious: HOT avatar <3

Submitted by jim on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 3:40pm.

FIRST OFF WHO WATCHES THIS FUCKING SHIT?

SECOND WHO ARE THESE FUCKING LOSERS IN THE CROWD AND WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY SOOOOO EXCITED?

THIRD AND MOST IMPORTANT, SHERRI SHEPARD IS GRACE JONES???????? ISN'T GRACE JONES TALL AND THIN NOT SHORT AND FAT? SHE LOOKS LIKE A GOLDEN FUCKING BOWLING BALL!

Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 3:39pm.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:03pm.
LOL! For a minute I thought you would reply "A lacrosse stick and a blow-up sex doll."
That's really boy bitchy. I take you dislike Duke the way I dislike Berkeley. RUDEST alumni in the US.

Submitted by salacious on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 3:39pm.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:03pm.

Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:58pm.

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 4:48pm.
Go as the cigar guy from the golf tournament.Simple,yet amusing.
Just out of curiosity, what does your Duke student costume consist of?

I just wear a Harvard t-shirt - because just about every Duke student WISHES he/she could have gotten in at Harvard.
----

LOL at Duke student. So no love for my zombie suggestion? Then how about something like a tennis player from past decades like John McEnroe or Andre Agassi?

----
"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"