Kelly Osbourne vs. David Walliams

On the left is Kelly Osbourne filling my head with a half a cup of "No really, Harpo, who dis woman?" and a half cup of "YOU ARE NOT JACK SOMMERSBY" as Goldfinger's Shirley Eaton for the launch of Sky+HD. On the right is David Walliams also drenched in Kanye West's ass saliva as Shirley Eaton for Heat Magazine.

I'm happy that Kelly feels comfortable enough to proudly flaunt her body like a born and bred nudist now that she's lost some chunk, but my point goes to David for this one. Only David can pair a prairiedogginface with an "I'm so scared" pose and make it work!

via Daily Mail & Daily Mail

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by z-listed on Sun, 10/31/2010 - 8:27pm.

Although I am still mad at David for marrying that vapid, gap-toothed child, Lara Stone, I would still choose him over most other LAY-dies any day.

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:10am.

I don't get why she obviously has panties on?
Weird

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TASTES LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS!

Submitted by parkerj on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 6:01am.

I'm sorry unless you are a goddess (and Kim Kardassian is not) you shouldn't do gold metallic body paint.

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"Bye, Whore" -MK

Submitted by nightowl on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:47pm.

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 12:27am.

You're right. But I wish she had felt pretty, say, a year and a half ago. She was thin, but not as much. I just think it suited her arms/legs/jaw more. On the other hand, I'm glad she keeps it classy. The pictures are in the same vein as a lot of those vixen-type girls but she's not trying so hard (*ahem* Leah Michelle). I watch her fashion report on E! sometimes and she's very likable and I'm jealous of a lot of her wardrobe!

Submitted by yucko on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:34pm.

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 12:27am.
If dullards a la Minka Kelly and Olivia Wilde can get away with being called "the sexiest woman in the world", I think there's plenty of room for Kelly Osbourne to feel good about herself.

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Agreed.

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 10:57pm.

She's not my personal cup of tea, especially since she's all boring now that she's skinny but some of these comments are bullshit. You people are shaming her for wanting to feel confident? Fuck that noise. If dullards a la Minka Kelly and Olivia Wilde can get away with being called "the sexiest woman in the world", I think there's plenty of room for Kelly Osbourne to feel good about herself.

As far as I'm concerned, she isn't putting down other people's looks to feel good about herself but is actually finding her confidence from within, and you know what? Fucking good for her.

Yes. Shame on Kelly Osbourne for not hating herself anymore.

/rant

NOW WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY, I wanted to post that I'm confused by this post. Is the gold guy part of the photoshoot, is she impersonating him, or what?

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.

Submitted by nightowl on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 10:11pm.

Submitted by Belle du Jour on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:36pm.

Kelly! Some basic math here: skinny != pretty.

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The saddest kind of math.

Submitted by Belle du Jour on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 10:07pm.

Homegirl has been insufferable since she lost that weight. Too bad she still has that big ol' pumpkin head and Daddy's face.

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Srsly, she's like a gold spraypainted Halloween gourd.

Submitted by Belle du Jour on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 10:06pm.

Kelly! Some basic math here: skinny != pretty.

Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 5:36pm.

Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 6:26pm.
Homegirl has been insufferable since she lost that weight. Too bad she still has that big ol' pumpkin head and Daddy's face.

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Well, it's really just a countdown until she gains all the weight back and goes back into drug rehab to kick whatever it is she takes to kill the pain of becoming a fat pig again.

So, it's really just fast forward, rewind, play.

(With People magazine involved, of course.)

This will go on her entire life. It's really not her fault, she's on a starvation high right now, because she does look great, she's getting attention, she knows she has to be thin to get that attention.

However, if you take a good look at Sharon "Cankles/Thunder Thighs" Osborne, anyone can see that genetics will trump willpower here and she will soon be back to looking like a Weeble.

I would love it if I were wrong in this case, but I just don't see it happening, unfortunately.

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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato

Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 5:25pm.

shes still a lard ass
ugly too
damn you got nuthin going for you

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 4:56pm.

Homegirl has been insufferable since she lost that weight. Too bad she still has that big ol' pumpkin head and Daddy's face.

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"I'm sick of layin' down alone/With this fever"

Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 3:18pm.

I just realized that the gold paint in the second thumbnail looks far more real the the gold paint that Kelly has on her.

Still, I like the first pose in the pictures above. I actually think she looks kinda cute.

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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman

I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown

Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 3:16pm.

Submitted by bookworm on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 1:45pm.

David Walliams on the other hand is an unfunny ponce and looks stupid! Cannot stand him. I'd probably like him more if he came out of the closet and stopped pretending to be hetero. I feel sorry for his new wife, she wouldn't be getting 'any' in that sham marriage.

His past extremely gorgeous girlfriend/s said he only ever kissed (not passionately) them when dating. Never any rompy-pompy for Mr Walliams!
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Really? Going by interviews that I've seen on YouTube, David has admitted that is swung both ways when he and Matt first started hanging out. I do believe he is a little bi but I think he does like a vag. Even if it's only a little.

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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman

I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown

Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 3:10pm.

Submitted by stake_spike on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 2:07pm.
David Wallaims is such a fucking twat.
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*shocked expression*

Say it isn't so!

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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman

I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown

Submitted by BabyJane on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 3:09pm.

I just gotta say it. Kelly sweetie, you just need to stop. You are embarassing yourself. Yes your weight loss is great, but you just are not a pretty girl, and need to stop trying to be. Maybe you can go to school or something, start a humanitarian charity, just stop trying to go the pretty, sexy route. You ain't either one.....Sorry.

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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.

Submitted by kylimayrow on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 2:54pm.

Unfortunately for Kelly she & David Williams have the same face situation going on. The sad part of all this, in few years the chunk will be back it always comes back especially when you have gastric bypass surgery, which I heard is her case. I hate it when fugly fat girls with not cute faces think they are hot shit once they loose the chunk, get over yourself cause all the plastic surgery wont help the fact that your ugly on the inside.

Submitted by yucko on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 2:46pm.

I swear to god when I first saw that last thumbnail as I was scrolling down the frontpage, I thought it initially looked like Lindsay Lohan.

I don't hate Kelly Osbourne. I actually kind of like her. But I liked her better when she'd lost *most* of the weight but wasn't quite at the point where she is recently. Like when she was still with that Luke guy. And this photo shoot kind of sucks.

Submitted by Green Is Good on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 2:42pm.

With that unfortunate face, Kelly is lucky she has a fat trust fund to to cushion her during her Oh-So-Troubled times.

Submitted by Reese2029 on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:44pm.

Kelly loses 100lbs and thinks she's hot. No matter how much weight she loses, she's still got a fat butterface.

Submitted by stake_spike on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:37pm.

David Wallaims is such a fucking twat.

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:38pm.

So now that she lost all that weight she is going to take like 900 naked pictures? Her face is still fug and her legs are stubby. Sorry Osbourne, you are no supermodel. Waste of space.

Submitted by bookworm on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:15pm.

Hate to say it but Kelly looks ok here. Probably because she is covered from head to toe in gold paint. Can't make out any of her distinguishing features - thank jebus!

His past extremely gorgeous girlfriend/s said he only ever kissed (not passionately) them when dating. Never any rompy-pompy for Mr Walliams!

Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:15pm.

I don't know this Williams guy, but he looks better than Kelly.

I dont' know why people are even making her out to be a star. She is not.
Can't she just get fat again and go away!!!

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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10

Submitted by NC-Ladee on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:02pm.

Wow - this takes me back to the display at the Wax Museum years ago featuring the Goldfinger actors in their respective roles. Only it's missing James Bond and OddJob (the top hat killer) - and oh yeah, only the wax features looked more realistic than these characters.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:45am.

Raul does his best James Bond and Goldfingers that litle piggy. *********************************************************************************** Kenny Powers: There’s one image in my life that consistently makes me happy, no matter when I think about it, and that image, that one image is your big tits.

Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:42am.

Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:45pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:22pm.

Kelly Osborne trying to look sexy is like Paris Hilton trying to sound smart.
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I smell a new siggie. You don't mind, do you?

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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman

I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown

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It would be an honor!
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Dark-sided!

Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:40am.

_Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:34pm.
Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:31pm.

*snort* at how the gold gently reflects off walliams arm fur...

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he's got butt fur too....LOL. ewwwwww....
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i was really trying not to notice the butt fur...ick...lol

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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:39am.

Kelly may be thin, but she will never ave a nice body. She is weirdly shaped. Roundish.

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I don't mind you coming here, and wasting all my time
-The Cars "Just What I Needed"

Submitted by guest on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:33am.

she does look like paris...

Submitted by Viva Mexico on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:32am.

Oops double post.

Submitted by Viva Mexico on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:32am.

Since when did Kelly Osbourne morph into Paris Hilton????

Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:32am.

Submitted by Ang on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:28pm.
I think he's on that show "little britain".
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You would be correct. In fact, my avie shows the creators of that show, Matt Lucas and David Walliams.

They have many of the original shows on YouTube. Don't bother looking for the HBO version. I'm told that it sucks.

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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman

I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown

Submitted by joanie balogna on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:29am.

Walliams FTW.

Submitted by PinkPostIt on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:28am.

Ha. You can see her Spanx line in thumbnail 2. She's wearing panties over Spanx. Freakin' fake fool.

Submitted by Eddie on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:26am.

wow luke dumping her did a number

Submitted by Dog on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:26am.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:53pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:37pm.
Having a real hard time believing that's Kelly Osbourne. Her lips are a lot more full than that and her head isn't normally shaped like it was caught in a school bus door.

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I bet if she took of the Zolciak wig, you'd be able to see her big ol' inverted pentagon head.

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That or a really strange zucchini squash!

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HOW DAAAAARRRRRREEEE YOU?! Look at my avvie! LOOK AT IT!
Oprah was born to pontificate (and bloviate as well). Her superpowers are located in her hair thankyouverymuch - by But.Seriously.Folks

Submitted by Dog on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:25am.

Siiiilver and gold, siiilver and gold.
Mean so much more when I see
Silver and gold decorations
On ev'ry Christmas tree.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:23am.

Submitted by Dog on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:37pm.
Having a real hard time believing that's Kelly Osbourne. Her lips are a lot more full than that and her head isn't normally shaped like it was caught in a school bus door.

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I bet if she took of the Zolciak wig, you'd be able to see her big ol' inverted pentagon head.

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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:20am.

I hope all these skanks that painted themselves up with silver and gold broke out in the most horrid rash EVER from it.

If you want to be photographed naked, pose for Playboy. Otherwise, keep your fucking close on. Enough with the nekkid already.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:15am.

Kelly is a sellout...she spoke so much shit when she was fat and trying to be edgy...now she has conformed to the same level of every other Hollywood skank down to doing lame photoshoots channeling famous sex symbols...Marylin, Shirley Eaton...what's next? Corn rows a la Bo Derek or hard nips on red swimming suit like Farrah Fawcett? I will have the bleach handy for my eyes when that comes out.

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"It's pathetic how far a gal has to go for a good fuck" - Samantha Jones

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

Submitted by sugar free on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:15am.

i remember when Kelly would ridicule attention-seeking famewhores who pimp themselves out for a check. alas, she's become one of them.

Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:15am.

Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 12:22pm.

Kelly Osborne trying to look sexy is like Paris Hilton trying to sound smart.
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I smell a new siggie. You don't mind, do you?

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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman

I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown

Submitted by boomsy on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:12am.

I have to laugh because you guys called this months ago that Kelly was gonna start wearing the ho outfits because she lost weight...now next to nothing. And ITA about the whole body paint thing; it was annoying enough after Kim did and was whining about how she'd never pose nude again and now this; bleh.

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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...

Submitted by badwolf on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:11am.

IrishFury, skinny fat - AMEN!

Kelly doesn't have the willpower or genes to stay that way.

David wins this round. His shade of gold of better, so are his expressions.

Submitted by CindyC on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:09am.

She looks like Paris Hilton. Barf.

Shirley Eaton was so cool looking.

Submitted by urmomma on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:08am.

You know I kinda like the girl, but she is not and will never be attractive...she look like her daddy, poor thang.

**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:07am.

I like Silver better than gold.. so I plan to take pics as a naked Tin Man..

If I only had a heart..........

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This is why we can't have nice things!

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010

Submitted by Dog on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 11:07am.

Having a real hard time believing that's Kelly Osbourne. Her lips are a lot more full than that and her head isn't normally shaped like it was caught in a school bus door.