While The Biels Away....
This week, the department of Passing the Peen brings you a cover story from UsWeekly about how Justin Timberlake's dick cried a river of man chowder all over Olivia Munn while Jessica Biel was thousands of miles away. Now, the name Olivia Munn doesn't pull anything out of me, so for those of you who know her better, check all the boxes that apply: [] skank [] bore [] dumb [] trash [] other, describe here ____________
A source that Justin and Olivia, who does shit on The Daily Show, first met at a MySpace event last month in the back of Avenue in NYC. They both decided that they wanted to sniff each other's parts later on so they exchanged phone numbers. Olivia must not be a whore to the core, because the source says she was wary about humping on another chick's piece. But Justin had that one figured out and lied to Olivia when he told her that he was no longer with Jessica. That's all Olivia needed to hear, because they got it on the next two nights at The Gansevoort Park Avenue Hotel. The source says they were "openly affectionate" at the hotel and later had "amazing" sex.
Okay, I was right there strolling next to the source until they said Justin and Olivia had "amazing" sex. How do they know this? Did the source have a deep Skype conversation afterwards with Olivia's pussy? Did they get a written statement for her exhausted clit? Did they talk to Justin's prostate (because you know he keeps a finger condom in his pocket for a little poking)?
And for some reason, I don't think Jessica Biel will care much. When she heard about this, she probably lifted her face from the ass she was nuzzling and barely let out a "meh".
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You know when I'll believe that any of these self-proclaimed "nerdy" bimbos that they're actually nerds?
When I see raw footage of them eating paste.
Playing video games does not make you nerdy NOR a fucking tomboy. Shut the fuck up, Munn.
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Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.
I don't really like Olivia on the Daily Show, but she's done a bunch of cool nerdy things. I can see her more with JT (way prettier than boring old Biel)... but whatevers.
Olivia Munn is a half German half Chinese girl that co-hosts attack of the show on G4-techtv.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Jessica seems so unbelievably boring. I have never understood why JT is wasting his youth dating her when he could be banging hotter & more famous chicks. Not that I don't believe in true love or anything, but these two just don't make sense to me. Yawn.
And who the hell is Olivia Munn? I'mma have to Google her.
awwww!
Olivia Munn is awesome and funny!!
However, JT is douchebaggery!!
Of course JT is bi.
You know Lou Perlman was hitting that repeatedly when he was barely legal!
And Jessica is gonna whoop his ass for sharing his mangina!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Justin Timberfake's "amazing sex" most likely doesn't transcend foreplay.
He doth protest too much, and quite frankly watching him attempting to be sexual makes my vag want to heal shut.
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Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.
Submitted by madam s. on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 2:25pm.
swarm-of-locusts,
"I tried to give Olivia time to pull her own weight on The Daily Show but that chick is way out of her depth."
I agree with you 100%. I thought she was awful at first, but I decided to not pass judgement until she had time to get used to the gig.... she is still terrible, and like you said, way out of her depth
OMG, she's still totally terrible! I tried to give her time too. Now I just cringe whenever she comes. And if you notice, whenever a corresppondent appears, the crowd cheers? Well the crowd is totally silent for her. Not even a bunch of horny coeds approve of her. Also she's not known for doing shit on the daily show. She's known for doing ho shit in menz mags and that's how she got the gig. She IS pretty exotic though and I have to give her props for not puting on a baby voice.
Also, has to be said, Jessica looks totally femnine and vulnerable and gorgeous in the banner pic.
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"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." Oscar Wilde
Justin Timberlake, an asshole?!
I thought this hadn't been news since he's gone solo.
I don't know jack shit about Olivia Munn except that her "Look at me! I'm a hot tomboy!" routine is already stale. No, bitch, just because you play video games does not make you a tomboy.
ETA: And this just in! Kim Tardashian is the community bicycle!
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Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.
not a river of man chowder. that's some phuckin' phunny shiite.
"But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
"Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby..."
"i'm a dyslexic devil worshipper, so I sold my soul to Santa..."
"Meh!"
Bawhahahahahahahahahahahaa
Holy Shit does anyone on this planet give a crap about these morons? I'm more interested in the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
Such media made publicity lies - both I hear are beards for one another.
I saw JT on this interview promoting that stupid Facebook movie recently. I'm pretty sure he's bi. Not saying he's never been with women but he's clearly into dudes too...his co-star in that movie in particular. The way he was deferring to that guy (a precious flower in a stripey sweater), I totally think they had something going on.
Jessica Biel > Olivia Munn.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
I used to think Biel was super pretty but then she got all botoxed and roidy and THEN she got too skinny. I suppose she's kind of figuring out the body thing now, but there are moments where she still looks like the damn Hulk with those biceps.
Oh, and I can't fucking stand TimberDOUUUUCHE, he makes my skin crawl. Ever since his Nipplegate reaction after the Superbowl in...2004? 2005? Whatever year it was.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
I always thought Justin Timberlake was one of those Southern WASPS who dreams about foxy Black or Hispanic chicks. Guess I was wrong.
check all the boxes that apply: [] skank [] bore [] dumb [] trash [] other, describe here ____________
WBTBF (Will Beard To Be Famous)
Just like Taylor Swift or Renée Zellweger.
She always looks so unhappy. I feel bad for her. She needs to get a man that's not a fucking dickface and smile once in a while!
Anyone else think Jessica now looks like the chick from Weird Science? No? Okay.
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Silly rabbit.
Jessica is gorgeous!! IMO. Timberlake won't marry anyone until he is 45-50. Why should he? Run as fast as you can Jessica. Save your life.
I'm convinced these two don't even touch each other anymore. They're just whoring out a fauxmance for the tabloids.
They're also often sweaty and pale like they have the flu everyday, what drugs are they on?
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
never liked timberlake, seems like a douche-and munn is equally a douche with the women-hating crap shes come out with so they deserve each other. Biel deserves better.
What is with Timberlake????? Does he have a magic peen or something? I can't believe the chicks he lands. He just an average looking guy, nothing special aside from the fame. If he was bagging groceries he wouldn't be able to get laid at a whorehouse with a thousand dollar bill hangin out of his zipper.
actually I always thought Jessica Biel was pretty too. don't know why. maybe I should see someone about that.
Olivia Munn is pretty and all I know about her I learned in those 1 minute "dish" commercials on G4 cuz I watched G4 on a Saturday afternoon because they had Cheaters on. *blush*
I haven't seen her on the Daily Show because I never did get into it, and Family Guy is on at the same time and Family Guy trumps most shows.
Seems like Justy has a type...tall, brunette, exotic eyes. Yes Cammy's a brunette. :D
I'm probably in the minority here, but I've always thought Jessica Biel had a uniquely beautiful face. She's boring as hell, though. I've always thought that Olivia Munn was kind of a plain Jane, but people seem to think she's "hot" because she's 1/2 Asian or whatever.
Regardless, yawwnnnnnnnnn.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by QueenieBK on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 2:07pm.
OK I have a favor to ask of the menz ... could one of you explain the appeal of Jessica Biel, other than lips, tits and ladybits?
not that I'm a dude or a gayelle but lips, tits and ladybits is usually MORE than most dudes need. :D
edited: my bad, I see that has already been covered. carry on then *tips hat*
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 2:45pm.
The Daily Show has kinda sucked chode for a while now. Olivia Munn's presence confirms that the show has taken a violent downturn. Also, despite my desperation to hold some type of fondness for the guy, Jon Stewart has become seriously cloying.
so agreed. cheers *clink*
I love Olivia and AOTS. She may not be everybody's type but at least she's not a dumb ho and can be very funny. She majored in journalism with a minor in Japanese and dramatic arts at University of Oklahoma.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
I also thought these two had broken up. They're sooo boring. Munn is overrated.
Sidenote - WHO in this world buys a magazine because a Kardassian is on the cover?
Submitted by OneLiner on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 3:12pm.
Jessica Simpson mocking manilafolders? she probably did something like "look at me, im poor"
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LOL! That was funny as shit...i actually LOL'd
Olivia Munn? You cheat on Jessica Biel with that desperate sleezeburger? You get what you get BUD.
Wait a second! I cannot believe this!!! People were at a MySpace party? WTF?
I'm in the camp that thinks Timberlake is gay. He "dated" Hollywood beard extraordinaire Cameron Diaz after all. Also seen pics of Biel tongue kissing a girl and another with her girlfriend grabbing her ass.
That girl makes Biel look like a supermodel.
that Munn girl is sooo annoying, not funny and ugly.....
OMG it's john Mayer!...OMG i dont fkn care!
Jessica Simpson mocking manilafolders? she probably did something like "look at me, im poor"
aaaahhhhhh!!!! it's nice to have my Dlisted fix after i've been buried in work!
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
what a boring couple
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
I refuse to believe Timberlake is capable of "amazing" sex. That was an obvious overreach. Biel is a lesbian anyway, right?
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
He annoys me!
"This year Halloween fell on a weekend..." Mind Playing Tricks On Me!
Submitted by PinkPostIt on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 2:53pm.
Why is it, every cover of US, Star, and Life & Style has to have a picture and phony headline of about a LardASSian?
They must spend a fortune on PR.
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I feel the same way about Jennifer Garner and that Gwen Sefani's endless "loving mom in the park with her kids" pics EVERY friggin week in US Weekly. Garner must have US on retainer, she never (literally) misses a week.
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Dark-sided!
JT probably made this up because the Bieber is now the most famous Justin and he needed to get more buzz going about himself.
I like Olivia Munn. I think she is funny on AOTS but the jury is still out for me on whether or not she can act.
Why is it, every cover of US, Star, and Life & Style has to have a picture and phony headline of about a LardASSian?
They must spend a fortune on PR.
Olivia Munn is nothing more than a side piece of ass. That's it.
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Rich chump with an ethnicity crisis that fucks everything that moves. How original.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 2:35pm.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 2:35pm.
Can a gayelle answer? I think her face is fug, and for a while she did deserve being called a She-Hulk. She seems to be working out less now, so her body looks WAY better. She does have a fantastic ass, though.
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All answers are welcome, I don't discriminate. :-)
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
The Daily Show has kinda sucked chode for a while now. Olivia Munn's presence confirms that the show has taken a violent downturn. Also, despite my desperation to hold some type of fondness for the guy, Jon Stewart has become seriously cloying.
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THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
I didn't mind Munn so much when she was on Attack of the Show, probably b/c I've only seen like two full episodes in my life. But I find her really obnoxious on the Daily Show, I don't like her bimbo act and it's not even remotely believable. If I was funny enough to be on the Daily Show I would at least put some effort into it.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
I met Oliva Munn once and she was super sweet. But I could see why people would find her annoying or a bitch, as she does come off like that on "Attack of the Show." But she was nice to me, so whateves.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
MyWho?
Submitted by QueenieBK on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 2:07pm.
OK I have a favor to ask of the menz ... could one of you explain the appeal of Jessica Biel, other than lips, tits and ladybits? She's got an oddly shaped face/head, no personality and the tendency to brag about how her looks prevent her fron getting roles.
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Can a gayelle answer? I think her face is fug, and for a while she did deserve being called a She-Hulk. She seems to be working out less now, so her body looks WAY better. She does have a fantastic ass, though.
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"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer"