While The Biels Away....
This week, the department of Passing the Peen brings you a cover story from UsWeekly about how Justin Timberlake's dick cried a river of man chowder all over Olivia Munn while Jessica Biel was thousands of miles away. Now, the name Olivia Munn doesn't pull anything out of me, so for those of you who know her better, check all the boxes that apply:  skank  bore  dumb  trash  other, describe here ____________
A source that Justin and Olivia, who does shit on The Daily Show, first met at a MySpace event last month in the back of Avenue in NYC. They both decided that they wanted to sniff each other's parts later on so they exchanged phone numbers. Olivia must not be a whore to the core, because the source says she was wary about humping on another chick's piece. But Justin had that one figured out and lied to Olivia when he told her that he was no longer with Jessica. That's all Olivia needed to hear, because they got it on the next two nights at The Gansevoort Park Avenue Hotel. The source says they were "openly affectionate" at the hotel and later had "amazing" sex.
Okay, I was right there strolling next to the source until they said Justin and Olivia had "amazing" sex. How do they know this? Did the source have a deep Skype conversation afterwards with Olivia's pussy? Did they get a written statement for her exhausted clit? Did they talk to Justin's prostate (because you know he keeps a finger condom in his pocket for a little poking)?
And for some reason, I don't think Jessica Biel will care much. When she heard about this, she probably lifted her face from the ass she was nuzzling and barely let out a "meh".