Monday, October 25th 2010
Work Out With Madge (Sort Of)
Do you wish you had arms like the Kraken's throbbing hard dick and ripped thighs that could pull even the stubbornest nutsack out by the root? Stop your dreaming and get to Mexico City, because the Hans & Franz of memawmaws is opening up her own gym and naming it Hard Candy Fitness. Bitch is going to PUMP U UP while pumping more money into her checking account. Here's a piece of the press release:
Madonna in partnership with her manager Guy Oseary and New Evolution Ventures (NEV) announced the establishment of Hard Candy Fitness global gyms which will open in major cities around the world. The first Hard Candy Fitness is a beautiful and uniquely designed 30,000 square foot space which is scheduled to open in Mexico City mid November in the exclusive Bosques de las Lomas area. Madonna will be visiting the gym on the 29th of November for the official launch.
IT'S A TRAP! No, seriously it's a trap for future boy slaves of Madge. Deep down in the bowels of Hard Candy, there will be 3 signs for the showers: 1) "Showers for Dudes" 2) "Showers for Chicks" and 3) "Showers for South American Baby Men with Strong Gag Reflexes."
via Madonna.com (Thanks Chris)
• 
I suppose if you want to look like a veiny piece of gristle with fried hair and chicken cutlet cheeks-you would take advice from Vadge-in the meantime,I have no interest in looking like you Vadge so I think Ill pass....
Why dont you take MY work out advice Vadge particularly as you are obviously desperately trying to stop aging-how about gain 10-15 lbs,lay off some of the working out and stop cradle snatching the 20 year olds-OK I get it you like em young-but more than half your age grandma is a bit too much...
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Check also in emagrecer , fimose , lipoaspiração , abdominais , lipoaspiração and espinhas
My god, that is one ugly woman!
Of all the places Mexico City?
A Gym from the woman who only a few years ago while spouting the benefits of Yoga said, "Lifting weights is a complete waste of time."
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 7:45pm.
You had me at Slim Jims.
Sign me up for this "lower level" of hell, please. Hail Satan! Can I haz Slim Jim?
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.
Submitted by London Bridge on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 11:30am.
Unless she is opening a human growth hormone clinic-no one is going to get the crypt keepers fab physique at no damn gym
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The truth.
i believe that vadge's pussay has a 6 pack.
its nasty, when you get older you actually NEED a bit of body fat to fill you out abit.
this crazy bitch and her 0% body fat is nasty, it just looks awful.
men or women that age, shouldnt look like that, its not fitness its nasty and a turn off.
i imagine vadge naked would be like muscles on muscles with bolt on tits, tree trunk thighs, and a pussay with a six pack.
and those baby south american guys better not do anal with vadge, her ass cheeks would be like two steel balls and her asshole would snap yo dick off.
"Showers for South American Baby Men with Strong Gag Reflexes."
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL MK you make me laugh so much :P
When you reach a certain age, working out constantly gives arms a really unattractive look on women. Give it rest, Madonna.
Vadge is so out of touch with the real world, she actually thinks she looks good, poor old thing. How in the holy hell does Lourdes hold back the giggles every time she catches a glimpse of her mother prancing and preening and trying to pretend like she's 20-something again?....
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 8:17pm.
@Cappy....join me in the kitchen? LMAO at deep fried butter and brie.
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Why, I'd love to, just as soon as I help Julianne Moore put something real on. lol.
*waves wildly to Mercury and Tiger*
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Madonna use to wear great costumes on her tours. I don't know what the fuck was going through her head when she agreed to wear that outfit above.
And there is no way that I'd pay a peeny (typo and it stays) to join any gym that she is an owner of or is a member.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
@Cappy....join me in the kitchen? LMAO at deep fried butter and brie.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 8:03pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 7:45pm.
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Fking BRAVO w/ that dead-on special of the day. LMAO
ETA: deep-fried butter and brie will go good with Vadge's vampiric wine
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 7:45pm.
When is this tired old trick gonna be swallowed up by hell and shit out into a lower form of hell (aka DListed snack lounge) created just for her...
Oh, yes...
Be the first to force feed Vadge a Slim Jim, scrambled egg yolk, Velveeta and Fuynun,"omlette" wrapped in an eggo waffle, drizzled with Aunt Jemima syrup....
Lunch...A deep fried double bacon bologna and cheese sammich smothered in chili with gravy cheese fries and Texas toast....
Dinner anyone? Anyone?
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Salad:
Iceberg lettuce, Bac-os, and fried pieces of Steak-Umms smothered in Miracle Whip. (Hold the lettuce)
Entree:
Double mac n cheese, followed by a tempting selection of KFC, Popeye's and Churches' chicken legs floating in their original frying oil. This will be accompanied by lard-encrusted fried potatoes, hush puppies, and assorted breaded giblets.
Dessert:
Ambrosia salad covered in mini-marshmallows wrapped lovingly around a Baked Alaska decorated with deep-fried Twinkies.
Wine:
Night Train
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
When is this tired old trick gonna be swallowed up by hell and shit out into a lower form of hell (aka DListed snack lounge) created just for her...
Oh, yes...
Be the first to force feed Vadge a Slim Jim, scrambled egg yolk, Velveeta and Fuynun,"omlette" wrapped in an eggo waffle, drizzled with Aunt Jemima syrup....
Lunch...A deep fried double bacon bologna and cheese sammich smothered in chili with gravy cheese fries and Texas toast....
Dinner anyone? Anyone?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Washed up trick with junkie arms.
http://girlunemployed.blogspot.com
Those muscles are too much for me.
"This year Halloween fell on a weekend..." Mind Playing Tricks On Me!
I would NEVER want those arms.
Jeebus Christmas, those fuckin' arms are gonna haunt my dreams tonight.
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"I'm sick of layin' down alone/With this fever"
It's sad when a person has lost relevance and can't just accept it gracefully. She has become more pathetic with each passing year.....
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
I would never go to Mexico since the cartels are ruling the country plus having the highest armed robbery and kidnapping rate in the world. But this can probably benefit the people of Mexico city since they cant own guns and lets not talk about the corrupt authority, but they can learn the power of Maddona and her monstrous abs.Still hate her but this might be a good idea.
Lord is she ugly and her body is scary...I would not buy, visit, listen or watch a damn thing this overexposed, old manly armed freak is selling.
@ stefystef- no prob! Indeed, superficiality is everywhere!
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 1:19pm.
@LaChaylo: The reason I love this site is because you learn something new everyday. Thank you very much for the explanation because I never knew such a thing.
It's like the Valley Girls of the 80s and 90s ("Clueless" anyone?). Rich kids who think they are cool, but have no personality and think that only those with money and designer clothes are of any value.
And I thought only American kids were shallow and stupid. *LOL*
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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
I preferred her curves in Desperately Seeking Susan. Do people really find those arms attractive? YIKES!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 12:07pm.
I'd rather be the freckled, skinnyfat bitch I am than have arms that look like that. Hands down.
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Team Freckled, Skinnyfat Bitches, yeah! *high five*
This is what happens when you obsessively get rid of all your body fat - it pushes the veins to the surface (especially if you weight train). Zero body fat is NOT a good look on women nor is it healthy. But a lot of people react to fat the way some people react to spiders: "EWWW GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" not realizing what an important role it plays (as do spiders).
Her internal systems are probably allll jacked up.
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
Rolling up sleeves...
There are wealthy people in Mexico, and people work out in L.A. and then walk out into that thing called smog. Mexico City is pretty polluted, but come on guys, it's not an entire slum. (Do some of you know that M.K. is half Mexican?)
Still, perhaps Mexico City first because the investment and construction costs might be less? As someone else here noted, there's probably an untapped market there.
What can I say that many of you already have: those arms! Those arms don't look strong, or good for her age, or toned. They look freakish and unhealthy. They look like cast offs from Jean Claude Van Damme.
She is an idiot. She also looks pretty scary with those arms.
Snideychick sez:
Money doesn't make you a better person it just amplifies what's already there. Apparently Madonna had a tranny inside.
Submitted by stefystef on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 1:11pm.
A fresa (Spanish word for strawberry) is someone, usually adolescent to young adult, from the Mexican upper class - they have their own subculture, mannerisms, way of speaking, etc. They like to wear name brands and look down at the working class while living off their family's money. They're very much into pop culture and American and European trends.
True story: I have cousins from Mexico, love them, but when they came to visit one time, they were taking pics of the boutique shops at the mall, like Versace, Gucci, etc. My brother and I were like, WTF? They're more like wannabes, because they for sure don't have the income. But they'll spend that cash at A&F and Hollister. Don't get it. Funny thing- you look it up on wikipedia and it's there - the A&F/Hollister and all, lol!!
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 11:04am.
@LaChaylo: I don't know what FRESCA is. Is that like the upper class in Mexico?
Submitted by DonkeyPunched on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 10:56am.
@DonkeyPunched:I was just joking about poor people in Mexico City. I know there are many very wealthy Mexicans and many who would be willing to pay for membership. I just thought it interesting that she would choose Mexico City as opposed to somewhere in Europe.
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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
Looking at this picture makes me sad. She never struck me as being particularily intelligent but I bet she was fun when she worked at Dunkin' Donuts and was a struggling "artist" in NYC, late 70's.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that material success and celebrity do not make you a better person.
I've often worked teaching English, and for a couple of years I worked for an IT company, teaching English to the employees.
There was this fucking guy, who adored Madonna. I was once talking about the works and the lyrics of Bob Dylan, and this idiot started blabbing about the absolute genius of Madonna.
I would have kicked his silly ass if I could.
I just answered that Madonna was a genius in whoring herself out to every new trend and selling herself in the best ways to achieve her one and only goal: money.
She looks awful.
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Escaping Berlustard dictatorship before it's too late
Oh-so-gross! Gross, gross, and did I say...gross?
Vadge may have partaken of the roids that Alex was taking...that level of muscle development looks hideous on her. The fact that her tits have been getting smaller and smaller and her muscles bigger and harder leads me to believe she may have been dabbling in some Andro hormone shit. Natural estrogen does not let women get this ripped.
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"It's pathetic how far a gal has to go for a good fuck" - Samantha Jones
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
And you too can look like you're featured in a "Bodies" exhibit!
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Come with me upon the scaffold.
I will lead you through the horror.
Look inside executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 12:07pm.
I'd rather be the freckled, skinnyfat bitch I am than have arms that look like that. Hands down.
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LOL! UVY, You are hot with your skinnyfat ass self!
The arms? The arms have those claws she uses as "hands" attached to them...*vomits a little*
**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14
Submitted by sugar free on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 11:43am.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 10:39am.
Like there aren't enough gyms already. This is just another of Granny Panties' endorsement schemes to make bank now that her music career is slipping out from under her. So much for "artistic integrity".
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well said. except i don't think Madonna ever had any integrity to begin with.
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You're right about that. I was giving Vadge the benefit of the doubt, although I shouldn't have.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 12:27pm.
I think a rough handjob from ole Madge might end up with your cock no longer attached to your body.
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Haaaaaahahaaaahaaha!
I don't know how its naturally possible for a woman to get arms like that.
I think a rough handjob from ole Madge might end up with your cock no longer attached to your body.
In this economy, it's nice to see Vadge "giving back"
*chanting as always*
I'd rather be the freckled, skinnyfat bitch I am than have arms that look like that. Hands down.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
And somewhere out there, Linda Hamilton is wondering if they are shooting another Terminator movie.
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit, but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
This bitch...should be named whore of all whores, because she will whore her old veiny ass out for anything that has to do with money.
"You run Barter Town, you fix it...."
I've never understood the fascination. She has bored me from the time became famous. She can't sing, can't act and never made any music I like. She pretends to be original but always copied her image from others. Cold hearted as she is, we all know she used and abused more talented people around her to further her own career.
However without her big hit "Like a virgin" Jim Broadbent's interpretation of the same song in the film "Moulin Rouge" could never have been as funny. So at least she made me laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3IKrOoJx1U
I suppose if you want to look like a veiny piece of gristle with fried hair and chicken cutlet cheeks-you would take advice from Vadge-in the meantime,I have no interest in looking like you Vadge so I think Ill pass....
Why dont you take MY work out advice Vadge particularly as you are obviously desperately trying to stop aging-how about gain 10-15 lbs,lay off some of the working out and stop cradle snatching the 20 year olds-OK I get it you like em young-but more than half your age grandma is a bit too much...
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Mon, 10/25/2010 - 10:39am.
Like there aren't enough gyms already. This is just another of Granny Panties' endorsement schemes to make bank now that her music career is slipping out from under her. So much for "artistic integrity".
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well said. except i don't think Madonna ever had any integrity to begin with.
Now what woman in her right mind would want to have arms THAT goddamn roid-esque?!
EPIC FAIL!
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