Work Out With Madge (Sort Of)
Do you wish you had arms like the Kraken's throbbing hard dick and ripped thighs that could pull even the stubbornest nutsack out by the root? Stop your dreaming and get to Mexico City, because the Hans & Franz of memawmaws is opening up her own gym and naming it Hard Candy Fitness. Bitch is going to PUMP U UP while pumping more money into her checking account. Here's a piece of the press release:
Madonna in partnership with her manager Guy Oseary and New Evolution Ventures (NEV) announced the establishment of Hard Candy Fitness global gyms which will open in major cities around the world. The first Hard Candy Fitness is a beautiful and uniquely designed 30,000 square foot space which is scheduled to open in Mexico City mid November in the exclusive Bosques de las Lomas area. Madonna will be visiting the gym on the 29th of November for the official launch.
IT'S A TRAP! No, seriously it's a trap for future boy slaves of Madge. Deep down in the bowels of Hard Candy, there will be 3 signs for the showers: 1) "Showers for Dudes" 2) "Showers for Chicks" and 3) "Showers for South American Baby Men with Strong Gag Reflexes."
via Madonna.com (Thanks Chris)