Katy Perry & Russell Brand Got Married
While surrounded by a pack of slobbering pussies aching to get a giant piece of juicy meat into their mouth holes, Katy Perry and Russell Brand became husband and wife in a traditional Indian ceremony at the Ranthambhore tiger sanctuary in Rajasthan today. It was very traditional except for the little fact that they both aren't fucking Hindu! I'm joking. I'm sure they watched Eat Pray Love all the way through at least once and that counts. No, I think I read somewhere that Russell thanks the Hare Krishna movement for getting the bad shit off his crave list. Or something.
A rep for Katy or Russell haven't confirmed the wedding yet, but the Associated Press has it on good authority that the two slipped a ball and chain on each other's ankles in front of 80 guests including RiRi, David Walliams, David Baddiel and Jonathan Ross. AP says that both Katy and Russell wore traditional Indian wedding clothes as did several of their guests. Apparently, Russell Brand's wedding procession featured 21 camels, elephants and horses.
Congratulations to Katy and Russell! And condolences to the free clinic and the makers of the morning-after pill, because they are really going to lose business now that one of the world's biggest self-proclaimed man whores is off the stroll for good.
And here's a few amazingly interesting pictures of Russell and a tiger getting ready for his wedding day.
UPDATE: Confirmed. Russell and Katy sealed it with a statement: "Russell Brand and Katy Perry were pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Brand on Saturday, October 23. The very private and spiritual ceremony, attended by the couples' closest family and friends was performed by a Christian minister and longtime friend of the Hudson Family. The backdrop was the inspirational and majestic countryside of Northern India."
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he is sooo nast. i bet his underoos ARE crunchy. i don't know how he can be a manwhore i've nvr even heard of him til he dated her trashy dwarf looking ass.
I think they might procreate, unfortunately. I say that because in the end, she's an old-fashioned type who is like, SOOO happy to be married, omg! These girls always knock up by 25. Blech-the idea of that spawn is so disturbing.
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"You knoh that one dane't eat the yuks! Fie the whites. Mustah this out of one's face! Goodness me! Cheerio!"
-Madge, as interpreted by MK
I give it 13 months.
Katy's family name is Hudson. Her dad's a pastor. Another reason the marriage is doomed, since Russell appears satanic.
I'm so glad the Hudson Family brought their own preacher! Who is the Hudson Family?
Frankly, they both gross me out.
And can we say "ostentatious"?
pffft.
congratulations and fuck off
I don't know what it is but I find her to be sooo fricken annoying!Another product of a pop music machine getting WAY too much credit where its not due!
I just don't care... sorry :(
Oh God, some people take that Eat, Pray, Love shit way too seriously. Indian wedding clothes look great, ... on INDIAN PEOPLE!!! Pretentious, wannabe-all-deep posers like these two however look plain stupid in them. It's only 10.20 am over here, and already my inner Kanye is awake.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Five years? Some of you Dlisters are close romantics. I give these two a year max, maybe two if she is pregnant. As for the Indian wedding, wouldn't it be funny if they pulled an Eddie Murphy and it was just a "personal marriage"? Remember that is what Eddie Murphy did with someone's ex-wife in the Bahamas a couple of years ago.
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Sun, 10/24/2010 - 1:13am.
I only bet on the Triple Crown. That guy is very repulsive!
What a pair of assholes. What else would they be doing if they werent squandering away fortunes they never deserved to have in the first place?
By the way, this marriage is not going to last 5 years. In fact I give it less than 2 before these two will be fed up with each other and quit. Wanna bet?
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
A valid, documented, overseas marriage is very likely to be considered valid in the US or UK. Divorce issues (such as a prenup) would get decided under the laws of wherever they're living at the time of divorce. It's really no different from marrying in NY, say, then moving to CA.
So when this happy couple is living in Malibu and Brand cheats with waitresses, secretaries, and hotel maids in West Hollywood, Torrance, and Temecula, a court in L.A. County will hear the divorce, under CA law.
I don't really accuse two people of getting married for publicity's sake but if ever two got married for more column inches it's these two. They're never ever seen together but 2 or 3 times since they've become engaged but I bet anything that within the next few months we will be getting tons of magazine articles about how they're soulmates, they can't live without each other, life was meaningless before they met, blah, blah, blah.
Thank fuck the UK press are the only idiots to care about these two, hopefully we won't get too many of those articles on this side of the pond.
Poor camel. :(
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
Submitted by A.cotw on Sat, 10/23/2010 - 9:56pm.
That fucker looks like Charles Manson.
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Hmmm, he's wide-eyed with dilated pupils...what could that mean? What could that possibly mean?
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
That fucker looks like Charles Manson.
Submitted by salacious on Sat, 10/23/2010 - 9:27pm.
I give them a couple of years at most. He will fall off the wagon again and she'll catch him doing a)drugs b) another woman c) another dude d) the three of them at the same time, and she'll divorce him and go through a lesbian phase (SamRo will be available then) and she'll move on to marry her record label's CEO.
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Or,he will fly to Bangkok for a sex vacation, find Buddha instead,and become a monk. That would really shock everyone. In the meantime,she will get her revenge on Sesame Street by doing the voice of Jessica Rabbit in a ghastly remake. And she'll kiss a girl onstage and hate it!
Submitted by salacious on Sat, 10/23/2010 - 9:27pm.
@salacious: I was just about to type the EXACT same thing you just posted. I am with you 100%. In fact, I don't even want to give them 2 years, but I think they will try to keep it together for appearances.
But Russell WILL fuck up. I thought she rebounded from the other guy too fast.
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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
We need Momus or LawDog to advise us here, is this marriage legal in either the States or GB? And if there's no prenup, what kind of fuckery can we expect to witness when this unholy union implodes within the next 12 months?
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
I give them a couple of years at most. He will fall off the wagon again and she'll catch him doing a)drugs b) another woman c) another dude d) the three of them at the same time, and she'll divorce him and go through a lesbian phase (SamRo will be available then) and she'll move on to marry her record label's CEO.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Traditional Indian ceremony?
Let's be honest--that's basically the hipster version of a Disney destination wedding.
congrats to the newlyweds!
(maybe K can get that caught in the headlights look off RBs face ;P
Good Luck to them!:)
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"not she she with it's head up it's own ass"- Anthony Bourdain(describing a restaurant)
Congrats...I give it 6 months. Katy needs a mother like mine, who dishes out advice such as... "Weddings are just funerals where you can smell your own flowers" and "If you're stupid enough to get married, marry someone who loves you more than you love them" Bitter, twisted old lady
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 9:14am
Now they need a reality TV series, called The Douchbags, Mr & Mrs. Douchebag. NOT!
Is there any chance they will be forbidden to leave India? I mean it would be nice if they just hung out with the bollywood crowd, so I don't have to hear or see their pictures anymore.
You just know that Russell wears his underwears til they get so brown and crusty they crumble apart.
Mmmmm... just imagine running your hands over his ass and a chuck of tattered and brown undies sticks to your fingers. That's all kinds of sexy.
'Apparently, Russell Brand's wedding procession featured 21 camels, elephants and horses.'
So, Amy Winehouse, Mariah Carey and Sarah Jessica Parker were also in attendance?
I'M TALKING ZITS HERE, PEOPLE!
UGH!
Yes, any marriage in any country is perfectly legal in the States as long as it's one man, one woman or gays in whatever states they're legal here.
Africans with 4 wives etc, are not legal. Only his first one.
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Dark-sided!
She will be 40lbs heavier in 12 months.
Submitted by Andrei on Sat, 10/23/2010 - 5:10pm.
This tiger is too good to have given them its light of firey day!
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I know that tiger and she's a whore!
Meh, I generously give this marriage 1 year...it'll be done in 3 months...with one obligatory reconsillyation, and they'll hold off announcing the split until the 'respectable' 1 year mark.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I give their marriage 5 years
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
This tiger is too good to have given them its light of firey day!
And yet same sex marriage is banned! This is preserving the sanctity of marriage - "Oh the Humanity"
Please lets hope they do not procreate.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
putsomestankonit on Sat, 10/23/2010 - 4:26pm.
I give this union 2-3 years until the stench of his crotch cheese gets to her and her lack of brain power bores him to tears. After the love is over we'll then have to endure Katy's come back tour of broken hearts and shattered dreams while the Bangkok tourist industry will have a mini 1980's like renaissance from Brand brandishing his herp infested dick at anything that moves.
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LOL
Said it perfectly
Is that the tiger from Hangover?
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
I give this union 2-3 years until the stench of his crotch cheese gets to her and her lack of brain power bores him to tears. After the love is over we'll then have to endure Katy's come back tour of broken hearts and shattered dreams while the Bangkok tourist industry will have a mini 1980's like renaissance from Brand brandishing his herp infested dick at anything that moves.
I wonder if her voice, while she was pledging her troth, sounded as brainless and airheady as it does on her ProActiv commercials.
EWWWWWW.
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
Submitted by eat.pray.vomit on Sat, 10/23/2010 - 12:14pm.
Submitted by TheHeckler on Sat, 10/23/2010 - 12:09pm.
As a good Christian girl, I'm sure Katie Perry aka 'Kate Hudson' wore a white sari, of course.
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But she's not. It's just her parent who are certified evangelical nutjobs. That's why she's all a titty-shakin' and they're like in Hemet or someplace equally weird.
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I hope you didn't think I was serious with that comment . . . although she DID release a Christian music CD under her real name, so she was once at least pretending to be a Christian at some point in her 'career.'
He'll rebound in 6 months with Helen Mirren.
I have a whole lot of "don't care" for this couple. I don't find him funny (and I've tried to appreciate his stand-up), and she's just a fucking dumbass hypocrite cumrag. So congrats to both.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
So these two assholes made it to the...animal sanctuary. I give this shit 4 years max.
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You're welcome to your opinion unless it differs from mine.
I don't want to hear about these two until they announce irreconcilable differences.
An animal sanctuary seems like the most appropriate place for that filthy, hairy beast to get married!
she is more than welcome to this charlie manson wanna be motherfucker. ugh.
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You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
RiRi was a no-showshow.
I think Katy Perry is an asshole, which makes Russell Brand an even bigger asshole.
I give this fuckery a year before Russell gets bored and is discovered underneath 3 hookers and a midget in a Vegas motel.
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard
so...did they sign a prenup?
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I don't need SEX life FUCKS me whenever it can!