Katy Perry & Russell Brand Got Married
While surrounded by a pack of slobbering pussies aching to get a giant piece of juicy meat into their mouth holes, Katy Perry and Russell Brand became husband and wife in a traditional Indian ceremony at the Ranthambhore tiger sanctuary in Rajasthan today. It was very traditional except for the little fact that they both aren't fucking Hindu! I'm joking. I'm sure they watched Eat Pray Love all the way through at least once and that counts. No, I think I read somewhere that Russell thanks the Hare Krishna movement for getting the bad shit off his crave list. Or something.
A rep for Katy or Russell haven't confirmed the wedding yet, but the Associated Press has it on good authority that the two slipped a ball and chain on each other's ankles in front of 80 guests including RiRi, David Walliams, David Baddiel and Jonathan Ross. AP says that both Katy and Russell wore traditional Indian wedding clothes as did several of their guests. Apparently, Russell Brand's wedding procession featured 21 camels, elephants and horses.
Congratulations to Katy and Russell! And condolences to the free clinic and the makers of the morning-after pill, because they are really going to lose business now that one of the world's biggest self-proclaimed man whores is off the stroll for good.
And here's a few amazingly interesting pictures of Russell and a tiger getting ready for his wedding day.
UPDATE: Confirmed. Russell and Katy sealed it with a statement: "Russell Brand and Katy Perry were pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Brand on Saturday, October 23. The very private and spiritual ceremony, attended by the couples' closest family and friends was performed by a Christian minister and longtime friend of the Hudson Family. The backdrop was the inspirational and majestic countryside of Northern India."