DWTS: Bristol Palin In A Monkey Suit

Who thought it was a good idea to stuff Bristol Palin into a TG Fabulicious costume and push her out onto the dance floor? "Oh, Bristol has the rhythm of an empty toilet paper roll but maybe this FOOLISH GORILLA SUIT will help her moves." It didn't. That is the saddest dancing gorilla I have ever seen. That gorilla must suffer from cataracts, Meniere's disease and a chronic case of constipation. Poor thing. Even Dian Fossey would recommend euthanasia for that tortured gorilla.

But when Bristol ripped off the monkey suit, her dancing really wasn't even better. While her partner jumped around like a gay grasshopper on a trampoline, Bristol was Zzzzzz on arrival. And the judges once again stamped the mark of Satan on Bristol by giving her a 6-6-6. They need to give her a one-way ticket on an inner tube headed for Alaska is what they need to do. Well, she gave us a SAD GORILLA DANCE! That is unacceptable!

Posted by: Michael K

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Dancing With The Has-Beens • I Can't With You

Submitted by yucko on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 10:44pm.

Aside from the fact that gorillas and monkeys are not the same thing...

Can she lift her feet more than two inches off of the floor? I really hate it when people try to dance but they just shuffle their feet around. This is coming from someone who won't dance in public unless she's overwhelmingly intoxicated.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:28pm.

Drugged-up Shitters dances better than this fat skank. And way to fuck my happy memories of the Monkees, fuckwads. THANKS!

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP3Q1nOzgR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

Submitted by LASux on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:28pm.

This potato head cunt needs to go back to alsaka.

Submitted by Catnipz on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:08pm.

Re:sarah990, now now, you're insulting monkeys with this comment :)-

Submitted by Hotmami on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 6:59pm.

This bitch is just like Kate Gosselin. Go home and take care of your child!!!!!!

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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"

Submitted by NotsoAnonymous on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 6:49pm.

I don't suppose they teach evolution in the public schools in Alaska.

Submitted by Euromutt on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 6:32pm.

Put the monkey suit back on fercrissakes!

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.... that's not a camel toe, that's just where she keeps her magnifying glass - MK

Submitted by cprincess on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 5:56pm.

I must say the gorilla suit was NOT a good idea-she should have been wearing one of those through high school and she might not have got knocked up although I take it back-shes the type that would be giving it up easily -shes got that look that why I cannot fucking believe that shes supposed to be a spokesperson for abstinence when any teenager can look at her and peg her for what she is...

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by Wonder Woman on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 5:27pm.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 2:32pm.
How did this bitch get a boyfriend in high school, yet my drama nerd ass went four years without hand-holding?

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the bitch was giving it up..thats why!!! lol

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"low self esteem is a bitch"...

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 5:23pm.

AW! She looks so pretty now!

♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James

Submitted by kacky on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 5:21pm.

Please God, let this bitch's 15 minutes be over.
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Bitch is introducing us to the double-handed DO NOT WANT!

Submitted by Meanchick on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 2:06pm.

Okay, the NEW Queen of 'That Bitch Can't Dance' is Bristol Palin! She takes the crown away from previous crown-holder Holly Madison!

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 1:02pm.

How did this bitch get a boyfriend in high school, yet my drama nerd ass went four years without hand-holding?
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 12:47pm.

She has all the elegance and grace of a small-time Alaskan stripper who takes $5 for a lap dance and $10 for a blow job.

Which she would be if her mother wasn't who she is.

America should be so lucky.

Submitted by HoityToity on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 11:54am.

Fuck huh and huh family! Well, I WOULD like to fuck huh Dad--I find him kinda hot in a forbidden trailer trash 3-way kinda way. As for her gay grasshopper dance partner, Mark Ballas--yum, yum! Ah jus luuuv HIM!

Submitted by JenM on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 11:07am.

I love how at one point even the cameraman tried to look away.

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OKAY NOT TO MENTION YOU CAN'T STOP A DOG FACE WITH A SOCK STRAP OR A BOOT FACE SMASH YOU KNOW!

Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 11:02am.

She dances like a wooden table. Atrocious.

Submitted by sarah990 on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 10:13am.

I love how she is dancing to "Hey, Hey, We're the Monkeys" cause that is basically what the Palin family represents, a bunch of sideshow monkey's.

Submitted by Rocket on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:51am.

While her partner jumped around like a gay grasshopper on a trampoline,

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That is just instantly classic. I'm still laughing.

Submitted by soulks on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:43am.

Bristol(what kind of name is that??) always looks clueless, "grin and bear it".

the only good dancer is Jennifer and she's a B.!LOL

~~>3..C<~~~~~=O_O=~~
"I am not a nugget!"- chicken

Submitted by KidL on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:40am.

Submitted by queenosheeba on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 10:09am.
She shouldn't have made it this far-- she's awful. The entire Palin family are a bunch a grifters. I truly cannot stand them. Fuck John McCain for bringing this pox into the national spotlight.

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Word. How the fuck this girl can be called a "star" in the first place is beyond me. She's not a has-been. She's a never-was-been.

I truly hope there is such a thing as karma and John McCain ends up in the nursing home from hell for ever inflicting this lot on the world.

Submitted by d-nice on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:39am.

AMERICA, this show is the worst.
when will you learn? this isn't dancing, this isn't entertainment, for crying out loud they aren't even stars.

you have been duped & you deserve it.
you will never get back the time you wasted watching this, American Idol, Survivor or any other brain numbing show out there.

meanwhile, arts and real educational programs are going by the wayside.

we have dumbed it down too long. America, strive for better, reach for more, raise the bar.
this mediocrity has to stop!

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:38am.

azgirl: she's damn proud of not having lost any weight too!

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"a cheap teenage whore from the San Gabriel Valley." = MK

Submitted by justincase on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:30am.

Dancing with the God Damned No Talent Nobodies. Entertainment is in a dangerous place with no where to go and all the ingredients to blow itself up. Perhaps that is why I joined a choir. Now I can sing and amuse myself, for free.

Submitted by HellaciousB on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:29am.

No shit. It takes her a good 10 beats just to catch up - and you can see her counting those beats. Ugh.

Submitted by azgirl on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:28am.

"Fuck John McCain for bringing this pox into the national spotlight."
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CO-SIGN!!!!!!!

She is looking kinda heavy. I thought "stars" dump weight when they go on this show?

Submitted by Erika_Leigh on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:16am.

wow she's almost as bad as kelly osborne

A Noun _is a person place or thing_'s picture

Submitted by A Noun _is a pe... on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:06am.

I still believe that her contract was negotiated for a minimum of four weeks, no matter how bad she was/is.

Time's up, bitch! You move like a sherman tank with no treads. Not to mention you look pregnant again. Please, return to obscurity. Take your insane mother with you.

You can tell the judges were stretching for quasi-nice things to say. Sad.

Submitted by Geebz74 on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:56am.

She was good at bending backwards with her legs open and shaking her titay balls. She truly is a whore!
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""...if he offered to lick on my vagina bone it would be plastered on his face like that monster in Alien. Just sayin...."- Submitted by Global-Traveler of DListed

Submitted by TiredofthisCrap on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:47am.

She's just not into it... she had more personality in the gorilla suit. She's probably getting kicked off tonight, but at least she can say she lasted a week longer than the Shituation. Now he was awful, young as well and he GOES to CLUBS.

Submitted by howdareyou on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:46am.

This "performance" reminds me of one of my favorite fantasies. When I am filthy rich, I will hire a personal trainer, whose job it will be to move all my body parts around for exercise so I don't actually have to do anything.

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"Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there were no free market capitalists in the face of a financial system collapse." - Barry Ritholtz, Bailout Nation

Submitted by queenosheeba on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:39am.

She shouldn't have made it this far-- she's awful. The entire Palin family are a bunch a grifters. I truly cannot stand them. Fuck John McCain for bringing this pox into the national spotlight.

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I get all my news from DListed

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:35am.

They should make all these so-called stars go through a preliminary period before they announce the official cast, because this trick might as well have one leg, because having two ain't helping!

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Submitted by parkerj on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:34am.

I feel like this was all her mom's idea, and not hers. She doesn't seem very into dancing.

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"Bye, Whore" -MK

Submitted by Haribo on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:30am.

i'm no dancer myself but this girl has no talent whatsoever when it comes to busting some moves. she's 20 but dances as if she's 80. no energy at all. looks miserable ;/ as if she doesn't want to be there.

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by mcnightmare on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:26am.

Submitted by tesla on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:06am.
As an evolutionary anthropologist, it's a sad, sad thing that people still can't tell the difference between a monkey and an ape. A gorilla is an ape! If I danced the fool in a lion costume and kept telling people what a great tiger I was, everyone would think I was an idiot. Why is not the same with our closest living relatives? An easy tip: monkeys have tails.
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yeah, the Gorillaz have a new album out - they could have performed "Welcome to the Plastic Beach"! it would have been surreal, yet perfect.

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milk and cheese - dairy products gone BAD.

Submitted by I need more cowbell on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:15am.

Dear Lord, how many steps did that insipid fool miss? I got tired of counting. Her partner had to keep counting it out for the moron as well. Jesus, she is just as retarded as her mother.

I am more woman that you'll ever have and more man than you will ever be.

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:07am.

DWTS is the new American Idol...when will the vicious cycle of retardation finally end??

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THE FULL RELEASE LOOP

What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR

Submitted by MagnificentChichis on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:03am.

Marks of the Devil, indeed.

Submitted by guest on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:00am.

LOL @mk!!! bristol needs to get in touch with her inner slut & let it rip. her parents are so ruining her. she's gotta be the next to go.

Submitted by TheHeckler on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:55am.

Submitted by mike on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:18am.
I find DWTS and the Palin family pretty equally low-brow, so her presence on the show (which I know of only because of dlisted) doesn't really bother me.
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Excellent reasoning. Logic of this sort might help quell my extreme contempt for things like this in society.

Submitted by Twink on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:54am.

"her partner jumped around like a gay grasshopper on a trampoline"

Laughing so hard my poor pilates-trial class ravaged stomach muscles hurt! Oooch!

Submitted by Chirio on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:51am.

wtf with this shitty dancing. BLASPHEMY!!!!

Coma Caca!
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Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:49am.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:09am.

REPORTED

Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid

Submitted by mike on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:48am.

I find DWTS and the Palin family pretty equally low-brow, so her presence on the show (which I know of only because of dlisted) doesn't really bother me.

Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:47am.

GONG

Submitted by Anonymous101 on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:43am.

Ok, *not* a fan of Bristol, but she didn't do *that* bad. I tried ballroom dancing once and it's pretty tough sh!t - the jive would have kicked my @$$ fo sho.

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kitteh friends make anything look better. Well, maybe not ;)

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Submitted by mharker on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:42am.

Submitted by tesla on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 9:06am.

If I recall, only New World monkeys have tails. Not to split hairs, but jussayin'.

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Silly rabbit.

Submitted by TheHeckler on Tue, 10/19/2010 - 7:43am.

When she gets kicked off of this piece of tripe, I wonder what gig she'll do next (if it isn't already penciled in her day-planner)? Anything to avoid looking after that mouth breather she bore, I assume.

Wth is wrong with you, America?

And for the monkey/gorilla comment below, does sheer ignorance of basic information and logic really surprise you?