Like This Is Going To Happen
Lindsay Lohan firing White Oprah as her full-time pimp is about as likely as Jennifer Cuntkov's name showing up on the admission list at heaven's gates, but let's kick at this story anyways.
LiLo's team of therapists and shit at Betty Ford are telling her that she needs take a giant sharpened machete and chop off all business ties to White Oprah. A source (aka Michael Lohan butt breathing into a voice changer) tells Radar that LiLo's counselors think her craving for bad shit dust will never go dormant unless she pulls the orange leach off of her skin. And by "orange leach" I don't mean the gushy ball of old fake tanner that has mutated on her skin. I'm talking about White Oprah's ass lips.
The pressure of having to feed the nostrils of several Lohans is sitting on LiLo's shoulders and messing with her sobriety. The source went on to say, "Lindsay needs Dina to simply be her mother. Lindsay's treatment team at Betty Ford has emphasized this to Lindsay, very, very strongly.... She is strong enough to tell Dina that she doesn't want her to work for her anymore. It's partly because it has been the norm for so long and Lindsay doesn't know what her career would look like without her mom's involvement."
White Oprah will lose all of her "whore milkin' powers" the second she fills out a W-2, so you will never catch her getting a job. So if LiLo cuts her off (which she won't), White Oprah is going to push Ali Lohan out onto the ho stroll until her Styrofoam cup is filled with coins. I've seen Gypsy! I know how the story goes.
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Lindsay Lohan's too shallow to tell off her mother. She's too convinced by her mother's blind support of everything she does.
Oh well.
I don't want her to die or anything, as I don't wish death on anyone. Actually, I just want her to get better and go the fuck away.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Bathym Belem Gomor!
salacious:
I am glad you pointed that out because I have been saying that since day ONE.
WO is her MO!
Mama is her middle man when it comes to all things snortable.
Look at those nostrils!
They are flared for a fuckin' REASON!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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She will never dump her as a manager. White Oprah is the only remaining connection to her dealers. Hohan can't get drugs by herself any more because she draws too much attention. She's as big a cokehead as her "child" is.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"UMMMM.... If only Mama Cass and Karen carpenter had shared a sandwich that fateful day they would both be alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"life is
The day that blowhan dumps white oprah is the same day that shitney becomes sane and parasite hilton grows a brain...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Please don't worry about WO if she's kicked off the gravy train. I hear they're hiring at Carvel.
"in every dream home, a heartache"
While it is unusual to see a picture of the "child" actually looking youthful and sporting her real hair (as she props up her blowsy excuse for a mother) it isn't enough for me to believe that this girl ever really had what it took to be successful as an actor or a person of character. Her current claim to fame is as a failed celebrity.
That suggestion is the best thing that could ever happen to Lindsay. But you know Dina will NEVER accept it! She might have to do something to support herself instead of riding on Lindsay's paycheck, which she has been doing for so looooong!
Submitted by Snarkley on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 1:02pm.
Never happen. The only reason Lindsay is even in rehab is to try and con a judge into not throwing her ass in jail for more than 3 days. If she gets away with her probation violations it'll be business as usual for the Lohans.
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You done just BROKE.IT.DOWN....
TROOF TELLIN'! Brutha Snarkley need him an AMEN from the DListed congregation...I SAY my brutha need him an AMEN...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Dina was/is her biggest enabler...always letting her get away with everything...even the Cannes fuckup!
Great. I can see Dinas legal team of asshats trying to sue the Betty Ford Center.
I kinda don't care about this anymore. Wake me when Lindsay overdoses and WO hires Emma Stone to play her in the Lifetime movie of her life.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
Uh, yeah, can't see this happening, like, ever.
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"All the girls in the club wanna know
Where did all their pretty boys go?"
Delusional Dina
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"Lindsay's friends call me the 'white Oprah (Winfrey)' because they all come to me with their problems. I'm like the mom of these kids in the business. I love to talk. I have a talk show in the works. It's more of an Apprentice-type game show thing. I would host it and co-produce it. We're shopping it around."
♫☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺♫
"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush
So... wait.... Is WO trying to look sexy in that picture? Does she have the drunks? Or is it both? Either way, it's that refreshing role-modeling that brings us to today. Kudos to BF staff for stating the obvious. I can attest that an addict may need to hear the obvious a gagillion times before it sinks in.
I DO hope these skanks finally understand their fuckedupedness. However, upon reading here that WO may be huddling with that other reality hag... the only hope I have is apocolyptic visions of fire and brimstone raining down on LA and LI.
Submitted by bambam on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 1:42pm.
Just from looking at their pictures together I suspect WO gets her kicks from people saying they look more like sisters than mom and daughter.
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…which means that WO has narcissistic personality disorder, co-morbid with borderline personality disorder, and belongs in the nuthouse, even if her daughter doesn't.
Never mind how I know. Return to your lunches.
What a death sentence that is: WO needs to be Lilo's mother.
*shudders*
*chanting as always*
Good advice, I hope she takes it. She needs to realize mom is just as bad as dad.
not a fan or a h8ter
but if her desire is genuine
I wish her every success
Who makes a face like that when posing with their CHILD?
WO talking to Kris Jenner...that's not for parenting tips that's to find out how to get Ryan Seacrest to give Lilo a reality show.
HA! Originally typed out "reality shower" and fixed it, but dang, she could use that too!
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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
You know it's sad when I recognized White Oprah but didn't know that was Lilo next to her. Been so long since bitch looked decent, forgot what she used to look like!
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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
That photo really cracks me up, Dina looks tweaked out of her mind
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 1:21pm.
Damn, I thought WO was Lindsay in the above photo.
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My thought exactly. WO can't behave as Lindsey's mom cuz WO hasn't grown up herself. Just from looking at their pictures together I suspect WO gets her kicks from people saying they look more like sisters than mom and daughter.
That's never good, the child has to know where the boundaries are. She can't learn them if mom is acting like a young hot assed trick, dressing for the attention of young guys or guys who like young girls. The child is going to follow mom's example.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 1:01pm.
Slap my labia and call me Sally because I didn't even recognize Lindsay in that picture.
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Me neither...I commented first thinking this was some random girlfriend of WO's.
But looking closely, it is LiLo but hardly looks like her at all. WOW.
"The best way to keep your figure is to give your food to the hungry" - Audrey Hepburn
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How old is that first pic?!? Lindsay looks so... healthy & not cracked out that I too almost didn't recognize her!
Also cosign everybody in America who's screaming "damn we knew she needed to ditch WO a LONG time ago, not news Betty Ford!" LOL
This needs to happen. WHy doesn't someone kidnap WO while linds is in rehab and dump her somewhere in the ocean. I would.. but I don't want lohan stank in my car.
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
she looks hot in this pic... her mom not so much. I'd still do em both.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 1:09pm.
Lindsay looks somewhat fuckable in this picture. Her mawm looks like a faggot!!!!
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You've the F-word so many times today that even Raul is feeling butt hurt now. *********************************************************************************** Kenny Powers: There’s one image in my life that consistently makes me happy, no matter when I think about it, and that image, that one image is your big tits.
I don't think anyone is buying any more. Time for the Hohan label to be discontinued.
So it took a team of doctors and counselors at Betty Ford Clinic to tell Lindsay what the whole world has been saying for years?
Funny how that works.
Yeah, this will happen.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
I don't doubt this story for a minute. Dinah has been a leech, and a bad influence in Lindsey for years. It's a lot of pressure being in the business not to mention having to support several people as a young teenager. She should cut Dinah free and leave her to be a waitress somewhere in a Long Island truck stop.
Oh yes, like Mama KardASSian is the pillar of mother perfection. Wasn't it her 7 year old working a stripper pole I witnessed on television?
Excellence right there.
*rolls eyes*
'aka Michael Lohan butt breathing into a voice changer'
OMG I NEARLY PISSED MY PANTS
LOL
Can I get an AMEN to that piece of Betty Ford advice?!
Worth their fee just for that.
Damn, I thought WO was Lindsay in the above photo.
Anyway, Lindsay DOES need to fire this trick as her manager in order to get better and get more jobs.
Because at this rate, WO is going to be burying her oldest daughter in five years or less.
And I am being generous!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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That is a cute pic of her. Whodda thunk it? She's the sober one trying to keep WO propped up.
Orange Oprah had better step it up cause her number one ho is leaving the stroll....and to know that this pimp Orange Oprah is now seeking advice from the Queen Pimp herself, Kris Whoretrashian Jenner...gag me with a million spoons...Kris Jenner would pimp out used toilet paper from her ho of the day...I feel bad for her youngest kids cause she will force them to do a sex tape, force them to market it, and then force them to hawk every damn product ever made...and then reap the rewards...I feel for the baby cause the grandma is the biggest pimp in the world...she will probably try to pimp his poopies and vomit...that is how low Kris Jenner is..
I love how shitwrecked White Oprah looks in this photo.
Die in a fire, bitch.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
"LiLo's team of therapists and shit at Betty Ford are telling her that she needs take a giant sharpened machete and chop off all business ties to White Oprah."
Duh, duh, DUH! We've all been saying that and we're not therapists or specialists. She's so disgusting.
Wow. I didn't even recognize Lindsay
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
Lilo looks cute and healthy in this picture. Dina should be ashamed of herself.
Isn't this picute only like, 4 years old or some shit? Blohan's aged 10 years since then.
she's such a caring and true person. i don't understand why anyone would say such vile things about her...
wait a second... we're talking about Dina Lohan?!... nevermind, i thought we were talking about Dino from the Flintstones!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Lindsay looks somewhat fuckable in this picture. Her mawm looks like a faggot!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Lilo looks like Baby Spice in this one.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 1:01pm.
Slap my labia and call me Sally because I didn't even recognize Lindsay in that picture.
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you and me both!
getting rid of her mom is the best move she could ever make.
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milk and cheese - dairy products gone BAD.
White Oprah's gonna shank any playa that tries to Shanghai her bottom bitch! ********************************************************************************** Kenny Powers: There’s one image in my life that consistently makes me happy, no matter when I think about it, and that image, that one image is your big tits.
Never happen. The only reason Lindsay is even in rehab is to try and con a judge into not throwing her ass in jail for more than 3 days. If she gets away with her probation violations it'll be business as usual for the Lohans.
Slap my labia and call me Sally because I didn't even recognize Lindsay in that picture.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green